Postby Roy Mustang » Wed Oct 31, 2007 12:07 am
I had fight of depression late last week. Anytime that I have depression, its due to my aids meds messing me up a bit.
I got over it in a few days, but there has been something that I haven't really said here or ask for pray.
As most of you know, I was in the hospital last month, because of problems with my heart and had fluid build up in my body.
I was born with a congenital heart defect. This is why I now going to congenital heart disease clinic now after I got out of the hospital.
The reason why they have this clinic is, because a lot of kids are reaching or have reach adulthood and we need newer care that what we had as a child.
So, I have been living with congenital heart disease all my life and since my heart problem was a major one, I now have symptoms of heart failure and why I was in the hospital for.
Really, I was born with heart failure since I was born. Since I was born as a blue baby and my heart wasn't working, when I was born. All they could do was fix it the best they could and they did. But my heart has never work like 100% a normal heart should. Only one side of my heart works and has been like that since I had heart surgery. That was the only way they could fix is and really the side that does the pumping is really the wrong side. Really, I have been dealing with a weak heart, since the day that I came in this world. I guess as a child and a teen, I never wanted to use the term heart failure. Its a scary word, but its just like having aids. It doesn't mean you are going to drop dead in like three months or a year. You just take meds for it, to help the heart stay strong as it can and they now have very good meds for this, just like they do with aids. My doctor told me that they really don't like using the word heart failure, because people freak out. But after you learn about it, its just like having cancer or aids, its just a problem with your heart that is conic problem that you just have to take meds, watch your diet and work out a little.
I say this now, I was scary when I came home from the hospital and at first. I know that sounds odd, but I just didn't know how to handle it at first and I really didn't want to say much to anyone at CAA about it.
But then I felt that this was really stupid to sit and worry. I got to thinking, I dealt with my heart problem, when I was little and I dealt with aids and I was scared then. But I just kept telling myself that I will get better and just put it in God's hands.
If I can from a close call from aids, when I was teen, then this shouldn't be nothing. I learn that problem now with my heart is nothing to worry about or be afraid of. If I put it in God's hands, take my meds and be upbeat about it, I can live a full good life. I have been beating aids for 14 years, so this will be a piece of cake.
I has taken me some time to really post this or say anything about it here. I know that I'm going to be fine, but I know that I can't do this alone and need pray also.
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[font="Book Antiqua"]Col. Roy Mustang[/font][/color]