Friendship being challenged

[Taka]

I have some scary stuff to confront a long time friend of mine with. Stuff about how our relationship works, and how we have developed unhealthy-ness in it. I'm scared as heck to say this stuff, she has been by my side for years, and I adore her, but I can't stay silent about some disfunction we have. But I'm still scared that bring this up will anger her, and she will feel I'm attacking her (when I'm not at all) and she won't recieve it well. I am not trying to end a relationship, but point out some flaws and work on them together. I hope, that by bringing the flaws out in the light, we can be honest about them and aware and work on building a better relationship.

I would appreaciate some sincere prayer on this matter. Thank you.

[meboeck]

I will pray that you have the courage to do this and that she responds with an open mind.

[Taka]

Thank you. I apreaciate it. You know the quote that says how friends are Gods way of making up for your family? Well, for a long time, that was very true for me, and I'm scared to "shake up" anything with someone who has been so good to me when I had no one else. And, I also hate confrontation of any sort. Anyway, thank you.

[K. Ayato]

I understand your fears, Taka. I'll be praying that your friend keeps an open mind and truly listens to the issues you bring up to her. Also, that whatever happens, you remember the Lord is in control.

Take care.

[holysoldier5000]

Taka,
I will pray for you. I know how hard this is. I have lost many friends by telling them things they needed to hear. And it really hurt lossing these friends. But then I relized something. They wern't friends at all if they so easily gave into hatred and resentment. My best friend and I have had our disagrements, but we have always been honest with each other and we are such good friends that we would hate to do anything less then be honest with each other. The fights I would have with my real "friend" in the end would always work out and our friendship would become even stronger. A good friend is honest, but kind, truthful, but treats the other with respect. If they so easily give into the devil's snare of anger and resentment then maybe you should question whether or not they are good friend.
Friends don't let friends sin.

God Bless
HS5K

[Taka]

A good friend is honest, but kind, truthful, but treats the other with respect. If they so easily give into the devil's snare of anger and resentment then maybe you should question whether or not they are good friend.
Friends don't let friends sin.

Yea.. That is the part I'm most scared about. What if she doesn't take this well... And what that would mean. I would be devistated to lose her.

[Ryupower]

I pray that G-d's will be done!

[agasfas]

I will defiantly be praying for you.

The only suggestion I can make is to express your worries and concerns rather then criticize. Whatever the case, I hope it goes okay.

[Taka]

Update: Had the initial talk, and it didn't go as well as I had hoped. It was an "agree to disagree" situation about the major point of conflict.

Then last night we realized I didn't make one point as clear to her as it was to me, and she was very upset and thinks I'm not handleing it well, when I refuse to back down. I've never refused her anything before... And I can't trust her in this aera of my life, and I don't liek that, but I can't, so I'm not going to talk about it with her, and she thinks I'm being redicilous. Would you continue to pray?

That God would help me be kind but still asertive?
That He would soften my friends heart, to look at the situation more deeply, and to be open to the idea that say may have messed up as well...
Decerment for all involved.

Thank you.

[animegirl1]

i will pray ^_^

[K. Ayato]

Will do, Taka.

[neko4him]

i've had many broken relationships and sometimes i fell alone but knnowing i've done whats right makes me fell sourunned also a bunce of my friends went to anthoer skool [not there fault] but sometimes you can do whats right andd fell like you have done something bad not to long ago on of my good friends slit her wrist wich could have really hurt her and me and anther friend where talking about what to do we dicided that if just me and her talked to our friend she would be mad at us so we got all of our friends to talk to her and she can get mad at all of us but then she would be alone

[Silent Hunter]

sounds very painful. I've never enjoyed any form of confrontation either. I'll be praying that God will give you the strength to do this. He has, after all, called us to be bold. I'm praying for you.
>shorty<

[Taka]

Update:
Thank you for your prayers. We are still working through things. I don't know how it will play out. I can only pray pray pray, because just thinking about the possibilities, scares me... It is a long haul ahead of me.

[Silent Hunter]

It is a long haul ahead of me.

We're here praying for you all the way through.

[Rjdreamer]

I suggest the book 'Safe People'. It helped clear my thinking, and will not only pinpoint the problems, but show how to improve them. I recently had to break of a friendship with someone, because they would attack me verbally when I asked her to stop doing something that hurt my feelings.

[Taka]

who is it by rj? sounds like towsend and whoever that other guy is who did boundries...

[Rjdreamer]

It's by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend.

[Taka]

just as i suspected... thanks for the recomendation. i shall look into it.

[Silent Hunter]

I prayed for you for a long time this morning.