Bad word/foul word alternatives?

[Cc4FuzzyHuggles]

WARNING! Inappropriate language implied below!
No critics please. I am seeking help. Not bashers. Thanks.
Feel free to have a laugh though.

I need some major creativity and vocabulary help!
Does anyone know cuss word alternatives that still flow?
I hate cussing and can't bring myself to put it in my stories and don't want it in my stories.
Also, I like to write my stories with bringing God into consideration, sort of like, if He doesn't like a dirty mouth in real life, I don't think He'd like dirty mouths in my stories.

But, anyways, my point is, who here is creative with vocabulary? Can anyone take on my challenge?
This is probably surprisingly one of the biggest challenges one could face with writing. Switching out cuss words.
So, to all who manage to help me, thanks for the help guys! HUGGLES! (>^ ^)>

You can give me general alternatives and skip to the end, or you can play my guessing game below for the specific words I need help with.
Why a guessing game? because I'm not going to post the cuss words bluntly, it is a Christian forum after all.

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1) De-code it : You b@$·7ard !
I need an alternative for this word or this kind of situation.
Lots of times, when the good guy in an anime gets really mad at a bad guy for smashing his cookies, he will call him a bad name. That name starts with a "B" and means illegitimate child. De-code it : b@$·7ard
So far I've come up with scoundrel for an alternative, but repeating that word too many times becomes unusual.

2) Beaver dam!
Anime characters like to condemn things. And not with a beaver's dam, but with the other one.
I already know, dang, darn, dang it, but those kind of mean the same thing as the word they are trying to replace, they're just in-direct uses and perhaps slanged. I still use them, as they have the best flow and are meant to be alternatives to the real cuss word, but still, I wish I had other alternatives. I'm not interested in condemning things. I just need expressive words.

3) Ah poop! / cow shEEt!
Poooop! You know the cuss word which means that, trust me, you know it.... like cow shEEt. I would use poop as the cuss word replacement, but lets face it, it doesn't flow at all. Some people say the word crap, but... that sounds uncomfortable, like... rough poo. So, I don't really want my characters yelling that one out, as it sounds like they got painful bathroom problems then.
One alternative I know of and like is “Ah shucks!” The word surprisingly can be used in some places the shEEt word is used. Such as when one loses a game they would blurt out, “ah shucks!” instead of "ah shEEt!"
Sadly it still isn't as versatile as the word crap, so I still need other alternatives.

4) De-Code it : that $u-k$ !
A famous word, which some people don't even think is a cuss word anymore, is one which has two meanings.
For example in this sentence the word is not the cuss word version “The kid sucks strawberry-milk up his nose with a straw.”
However, the other definition and use of the word is very dirty as it implies a sexual act. When people use the word in a negative way, it is the dirty version they are using. I really need an alternative word for this. De-Code it : $u-k$
A popular alternative word is “stinks” but I think I've over used that word, and often that words doesn't exactly fit.

5) @&#%!
Alright, last one!
If my anime character slams his thumb with a hammer, what words could he yell? Normally any or all cuss words are good for those kinds of instances. But since I'm not using cuss words, what could he yell instead?

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Thank you for your time and patience.

[Xeno]

Seriously, if you don't even want to use the words "sucks", "dang", and "darn" you are going to run into a serious problem. There is this thing in the English language called semantic shift, where words take on new meanings and drop old meanings as time goes on. When someone says that something "sucks" they are not implying anything sexual about the situation or thing, they're giving it a negative connotation and saying they don't like it or whatever. This is how English works.
As far as the other words, you're wanting alternatives, but you don't want to use alternatives that already exist for some reason. It really seems like you're trying to set yourself up for failure here.

[Nate]

Yeah, language changes. If I were to say to you "He looks quite gay," what are the odds that I'm saying he's happy?

Besides, almost all "bad" words are legitimate words whose meaning shifted over time. For example, check out Genesis 22:3 in the KJV.

Anyway this thread is quite silly to me, so instead of being a jerk, I will just bow out of it at this point.

[Ally-Ann]

1.) Brat, punk, jerk, fool, idiot...

2.) . . . Shoot? Blast (it)? That's all I have, since you don't even like dang or darn.

3.) Shiitake. . .? Lol.

4.) "That bites," or "That's too bad." Or, if you don't mind your characters being a little wordy: "That's disappointing."

5.) Fudge, son of a biscuit/pup/gun...


I realize the English language isn't limited-- and my imagination really su- bites right now-- but there aren't a whole lot of alternatives besides the ones you have and the ones I've given you, unless you want your characters to sound tacky, in which case I could give you a hundred more alternatives. And if you don't like the alternatives dang and darn, since they mean the same as d***, then why would you like alternatives for those, considering you'd be using them for the same purpose or meaning?

Plus, if a character smashes his hand, or realizes that he very well may be maimed/killed, the first human reaction-- realistically-- isn't going to be, "Aw, shucks, I'm about to be killed/maimed! Uh-oh!"

[Ante Bellum]

Really, though. Without launching into a speech on why words are just words and I don't get what's so awful about them, I'm going to say that there's not much point in using alternatives. The intent's already there, and, personally, I find the use of most alternatives to be jarring, enough to ruin what should have been a serious moment. If you're going for impact, "shucks" is going to deflate the scene very, very quickly. Especially if it breaks character. Here's a quote (not mine) from an earlier thread on swearing in writing:

If it doesn't come up, it doesn't come up. Just don't be obvious about it. I lost all respect for a certain novel I had been enjoying and put it down when the big, bad, drug-dealing serial killer slapped his girlfriend, threatened her with a knife, and called her "dork." I haven't read Christian fiction since.

It's like why I find using asterisks to censor words completely ridiculous. Unless the reader has lived in total isolation their whole life, they're going to know exactly what you mean.

That's not to say you can't censor. There are ways to write around it without compromising your scene too much. Character actions, for example. If someone smashes their hand with a hammer, they could very well gasp, drop the hammer, and hold their hand while waiting for the pain to subside. Easy to write, no speech necessary, and it's a universal reaction.
But as a final statement, I'm just going to quote Xeno:

if you don't even want to use the words "sucks", "dang", and "darn" you are going to run into a serious problem

[goldenspines]

[disclaimer: don't worry, I'm not going to be negative!)

I personally view the use of foul language a sign of laziness in the English language, thus I think making precise use of the English language when writing is the best way to go. Though, Ally-Ann touched on this topic an she's very right, a lot of precise English statements in those types of situations (for example, a character smashes his hand in a door and says "That hurt my hand!") are not very effective and can sound really fake and weird.
(as a side note, since you mentioned anime, Japanese doesn't really have cuss word equivalents. it tends to be all implied depending on the situation. For example, if an anime character hit their hand with a hammer, they probably would yell out "itai!", which is literally "it hurts!", but could be translated as a cuss word in English, or just as "Ouch!" and the translation wouldn't be wrong either way.)
But, don't sell yourself short thinking that foul language is the only way to write that type of scene. (Ante touched on this as well) Consider the follow two examples of the same scene:

"He missed the nail and the hammer slammed down on his fingers. He let out a yelp and clutched his injured hand, "*****, I ***** hate carpentry!"
TO
"The hammer missed the nail by mere millimeters and came squarely down on his left index finger. He jerked away his hand and yelped as if a thousand knives had suddenly shot up through his arm. Tears welled up in his eyes as he clutched his injured hand, 'I knew I should have become an accountant.'"

Challenge yourself to problem solve as you write. Think of all the different ways to present a scene.


I guess an easy cop out would be to write all your stories in a fantasy/sci-fi setting where you can just make up all your cuss words, but in all honesty, it's doesn't change the meaning behind the words. Thus, it's better to problem solve and write the scene differently. (aka: Going around the rock instead of trying to drill through it. XD)

[Cc4FuzzyHuggles]

Guys.... I asked for alternatives, not for you to convince me to use cuss words or act like I've hit a dead end so I should just use the words I already have. To my conviction and to my faith, some words are cuss words, and I feel uncomfortable becoming desensitized to them. Remember, I already said this IS A CHALLENGE, like a game is a challenge. If you can't take the challenge, then never mind it. Meaning, if you can't help, or don't want to play along, then please skip my challenging request, thanks.

And about word meanings, the alternative doesn't have to be the same meaning, the point is to be equally expressive. Vocally expressive or drama-expressive or both.
Also, feel free to share ANYTHING you have. I'll decide if perhaps I can use it or not. My story is in a made up world, does have humor, and the language is supposed to be child-friendly to a degree. No, it's not a children's story as the story line is surprisingly drama-filled, but that's beside the point. I still want the vocabulary to be expressive, but clean. And yes! Feel free to give me other ways to express situations or word sentences. Those count as alternatives. Example sentences are completely welcome!

For those who have tried to give me alternative suggestions, thank you! Haha, this really is interesting and seems my vocabulary challenge is proving harder for you guys than I expected. Apparently not many have pondered on this before. So, here is some more information and tips if you still want to try my challenge with me....

If you don't like my reasons for my request, then just view this as a vocabulary game. Cuss words or not, it is always quite the puzzle to think of alternative words to popular words. So, can you think of any fill-in-the-blanks? Our English vocabulary can't be this limited. It didn't use to be and I believe it's still not!
But, aside from me trying to think of these alternatives alone, by scouring through my kid books, watching my children's cartoons and shows, or reading older books which are fat with vocabulary all by my self, I thought I'd invite you guys to take on my challenge too! You know, since all minds think in different ways, maybe you'll have a word I would of never thought of or you've heard a good one I'd never heard! ^.^
Not to mention your kid shows which you see might be different than mine or you might have accesses to more old books than me to reference to. So, with the aid of your resources and me tackling my resources, I bet we could manage a few words!

Also to help, I might try and dig through my story to pull out exemplar sentences that need their blanks filled in. I know, filling in the blank is a lot easier when you actually have the sentence or context your working with. But, that will have to be for another post, after I've had time to dig through my story to find things I can use as examples.

For those who actually try, thanks again for your help! (>^ ^)>
Reminder! If you can't help, then please skip my challenging request, unless you still want to post for fun just for the sake of fun! Thanks!

[Crossfire]

Well, you're writing with a fictional setting, yes? If so, why not make up your own language?


Even at that, I've got no idea what genre you're heading for. The tone of the story is really important when taking language into consideration... if it's a dark and grim tale, a soldier blurting out "What the fruit?!" will kinda break the immersion.

[K. Ayato]

Or use things in another language entirely. Firefly did it.

[Ante Bellum]

Okay, let me get in the right pose for this.



Yes good. Now, onto what will probably be IS a lengthy reply.

Guys.... I asked for alternatives, not for you to convince me to use cuss words or act like I've hit a dead end so I should just use the words I already have.

Nobody's doing that, though. You have to realize the balance between censorship and a good flow in writing. What you want to do censors the more explicit words and sacrifices flow.

To my conviction and to my faith, some words are cuss words, and I feel uncomfortable becoming desensitized to them. Remember, I already said this IS A CHALLENGE, like a game is a challenge. If you can't take the challenge, then never mind it. Meaning, if you can't help, or don't want to play along, then please skip my challenging request, thanks.

Okay then, what words AREN'T "cuss words" to you? As I said, it's possible to write around swearing, but you're making it harder than it needs to be. Also, what's with calling it a challenge? You asked for help, not to play a game.

And about word meanings, the alternative doesn't have to be the same meaning, the point is to be equally expressive. Vocally expressive or drama-expressive or both.
Also, feel free to share ANYTHING you have. I'll decide if perhaps I can use it or not.

People HAVE been giving you suggestions. Here's the thing, though. You're going to have to work harder to get the same impact using censored language. There's no simple way to use rather, let's say, "dull" words without detracting from the scene/character or writing longer passages to try to express greater impact. You know?

My story is in a made up world, does have humor, and the language is supposed to be child-friendly to a degree.

Well, I don't see the problem, then. I assume you've heard of Eoin Colfer? Wrote the Artemis Fowl books? Anyway, his fairy characters use "d'arvit" as a curse. Now, it's not exactly his original creation (I guess there's some folklore behind the word's origin), but my point still stands. MAKE SOMETHING UP. Just throw a jumble of letters together to make a handful of words and establish them as this fictional world's curses.

No, it's not a children's story as the story line is surprisingly drama-filled, but that's beside the point.

Wat
Okay. It's time for Ante's Magical Tangent Show. You're not giving children enough credit. When I was a young'in, I acquired a certain book that quickly became my favorite. This book was called House of the Scorpion. Just to give you a taste of what this book is like: the main character is a clone of a 140 year old drug lord. The farm workers have chips in their brains that make them obedient zombies. One character is addicted to laudanum. They even touch on whether clones (who, in this world, are little more than organ farms for rich people, and tend to have their brains destroyed) have souls or just "snuff out like a candle" when they die.
Also, this book is for young adults. Don't believe me? Look it up. Multiple awards. Multiple "young reader" awards.
By the way, you intend for young adults and older to read this? Yeah, good luck. At least with kids, censorship goes more or less unnoticed. When you actually write for people who've had the chance to develop their taste and learn what makes a good story, good luck passing off "aw shucks" without getting an eyeroll.

I still want the vocabulary to be expressive, but clean. And yes! Feel free to give me other ways to express situations or word sentences. Those count as alternatives. Example sentences are completely welcome!

We-we did. It's up to you to figure out how to utilize what we've given you.
...
I can't believe I'm going this far...Okay. SEND ME SOMETHING. Send me something that you really need censored, and I will do what I can to SHOW YOU what you can use instead. And I suggest you really think hard before doing so, because I expect you to take full advantage of this offer.

For those who have tried to give me alternative suggestions, thank you! Haha, this really is interesting and seems my vocabulary challenge is proving harder for you guys than I expected. Apparently not many have pondered on this before. So, here is some more information and tips if you still want to try my challenge with me....

If you don't like my reasons for my request, then just view this as a vocabulary game. Cuss words or not, it is always quite the puzzle to think of alternative words to popular words. So, can you think of any fill-in-the-blanks? Our English vocabulary can't be this limited. It didn't use to be and I believe it's still not!

Oh really now? Go back to 2009 for a thread on "Swearing in writing." Same thread I quoted earlier. My 2009 self was much more concerned about swearing then. I actually put some thought into working around it. And stop pretending it's a game. You're not going to get anywhere by acting smug.
It's not a simple matter of fill-in-the-blank. It's about believability and FLOW. FLOWFLOWFLOWFLOW. You break character, you break flow. You insert awkward, out of place dialogue, you break flow. And when you break flow, you ruin the experience. DON'T. Break. The. Flow.

But, aside from me trying to think of these alternatives alone, by scouring through my kid books, watching my children's cartoons and shows, or reading older books which are fat with vocabulary all by my self, I thought I'd invite you guys to take on my challenge too! You know, since all minds think in different ways, maybe you'll have a word I would of never thought of or you've heard a good one I'd never heard! ^.^
Not to mention your kid shows which you see might be different than mine or you might have accesses to more old books than me to reference to. So, with the aid of your resources and me tackling my resources, I bet we could manage a few words!

Exactly how many "resources" do you have? Have you actually been taking notes? Don't just look for fill-in-the-blank words, actually observe characters' reactions! Don't go into a book with a narrow idea of what you're looking for. Be open-minded, look for other methods!

Also to help, I might try and dig through my story to pull out exemplar sentences that need their blanks filled in. I know, filling in the blank is a lot easier when you actually have the sentence or context your working with. But, that will have to be for another post, after I've had time to dig through my story to find things I can use as examples.

I'm just going to point out that being unorganized like this is a bad idea. That's how mistakes slip through the cracks. At least keep a list of passages that need work, so you can check them off and not miss anything.

For those who actually try, thanks again for your help! (>^ ^)>

Everyone here gave you advice, though. EVERYONE.

Reminder! If you can't help, then please skip my challenging request, unless you still want to post for fun just for the sake of fun! Thanks!

Another thing. Don't just cherry pick the advice you receive. Everything written in this thread has value. As long as you post in a public area, whether it be a request for help or your actual writing, you MUST be open to critique. You can't just coast through on positive comments.
Improvement hurts, man. It requires that one watch their precious work be torn to shreds. And then, after it has been reduced to rubble, one can learn why their work was weak. It's the only way.

[K. Ayato]

You might want to pick up a copy of How to Write Fiction while you're at it if you're that scattered in putting a decent plot with characters and motive together.

[goldenspines]

For those who have tried to give me alternative suggestions, thank you! Haha, this really is interesting and seems my vocabulary challenge is proving harder for you guys than I expected. Apparently not many have pondered on this before. So, here is some more information and tips if you still want to try my challenge with me....

Eh? Vocabulary challenge? You mean the whole fill-in-the-blank thing? I thought that was optional and I only addressed the main topic of the thread. D: I'm sorry, I must have misread.

If you don't like my reasons for my request, then just view this as a vocabulary game. Cuss words or not, it is always quite the puzzle to think of alternative words to popular words. So, can you think of any fill-in-the-blanks? Our English vocabulary can't be this limited. It didn't use to be and I believe it's still not!

I've always excelled at vocabulary games, especially tricky puzzles. The important thing about puzzles, though, is that you have to think outside of the box in order to solve them. ^_^ Otherwise, the puzzle is no fun and too easy to solve. :<

But, aside from me trying to think of these alternatives alone, by scouring through my kid books, watching my children's cartoons and shows, or reading older books which are fat with vocabulary all by my self, I thought I'd invite you guys to take on my challenge too!

Some of the greatest uses of the English language exist in the classics. And even in some newer books (the Harry Potter series is one great example. Rowling made up the insult Mudblood to send shivers running down anyone's spine). But classics are the best. I could go on and on for hours on how Shakespeare was a great writer of insults (among other things) without any cuss words, but I wouldn't want to bore you. XD;

You know, since all minds think in different ways, maybe you'll have a word I would of never thought of or you've heard a good one I'd never heard! ^.^ Not to mention your kid shows which you see might be different than mine or you might have accesses to more old books than me to reference to. So, with the aid of your resources and me tackling my resources, I bet we could manage a few words!

Hmm, this is an interesting notion. Though, tell me, are the feelings behind "***** you!" and "Fudge you!" different or the same when you're angry at someone? I suppose that was my part of my thinking when I presented my own solution to your puzzle. I'm not particularly fluent in a majority of the English language, but reading from some great authors tends to help expand your knowledge of the English language. One of the words I will never forget that I learned when I was a kid while reading a lot of books was "akimbo". Rather a useful term, actually.

Also to help, I might try and dig through my story to pull out exemplar sentences that need their blanks filled in. I know, filling in the blank is a lot easier when you actually have the sentence or context your working with. But, that will have to be for another post, after I've had time to dig through my story to find things I can use as examples.

I can't begin to imagine what you have done in your own story, so examples may be helpful to those of us trying to find exactly what you need. ^_^ Fill-in-the-blanks is one of the easiest puzzles. Next to multiple choice, students will take them on tests over essay questions any day.
Actually, you could probably just look up any word in a standard dictionary and use it, since it would have a similar result.

"A man steps on a nail and cries out, 'Poultice!' as he clenches his teeth in pain."

(yes, that's a bit ridiculous, but hopefully it gets the idea across. Though, despite being a random word I pulled from the dictionary, it surprisingly makes sense.)

Writers are artists. They need to be flexible, creative, and do what's right for the story! Explore the world of your characters and find out more about them! And read as much as you can to expand your own vocabulary and perhaps make up your own. (speaking of which, back to Shakespeare, who MADE UP a bunch of the words he uses in his plays by either combining words or just sprouting new ones.)

For those who actually try, thanks again for your help! (>^ ^)>
Reminder! If you can't help, then please skip my challenging request, unless you still want to post for fun just for the sake of fun! Thanks!

I still don't know if I can help, but hopefully you find what you are searching for. ^__^

[FllMtl Novelist]

idk about you guys but every time I hit my thumb with a hammer I go "Shhhaaaving cream" and burst into song. (It's how I be nice and clean! :3)

Seriously though alternative swear words is a really bizarre thing in writing. There's only the tiniest handful of times it makes any sense, and the rest of the time it ends up making you look [completely, totally, irrevocably] ridiculous. Nothing wrong with swearing being against your conscience or whatevs, but you need to understand that if you want what you write to be taken seriously, it's really really hard to have your cake and eat it too.

And about word meanings, the alternative doesn't have to be the same meaning, the point is to be equally expressive. Vocally expressive or drama-expressive or both.

What does this mean? Do you mean the literal meaning of the alternative doesn't have to be the same? The problem with that is, the very words we use to express our anger and frustration--including those we consider "foul language"-- are an expression of our culture. The real reason our swear words are related to either sex or certain religious beliefs is because our culture views those things as shocking and powerful. Think about it: why does condemning someone or something to eternal suffering have way more power than "Oh! I am mad"? Why is that so emotionally expressive? Assuming you're writing our culture (broadly speaking), alternative cuss words that literally mean random stuff like "repair" or "lizard" or "got cleaned up" aren't going to work at all. That's why stuff like "Oh crackers!" or "Oh sugar!" is silly. It sounds ridiculous on every level. (On the other hand, if you're writing a completely made-up culture, the words used as cuss words can speak volumes and make for stupendously effective worldbuilding!)

Ante already said anything and everything else I might've, so go read her post again. (Especially the bit about kids and drama--when I was small my favorite genres were historical fiction and mysteries. I saw plenty of war, slavery, murder, theft, betrayal, et cetera. I didn't even have to leave the childrens' section.)


Since I should probably contribute a word, I recall "gleeps" was used as a general exclamation in the 1950's kiddie mystery series Trixie Belden. I have no idea if it was an original creation, or if it was as absurd-sounding then as it is now, but nowadays I would only advise using this in the most cheesiest of the cheesiest of cheesy kiddie stories.

Another solution is to make all of your characters homeschoolers and then use whatever alternatives you want.

[Panda4christ:3]

1. Fool? The only thing that comes to mind, sorry :<

2&3.Coming up with your own words would work well, my friend did that and her book turned out just fine.

4.The meaning of a word all depends on the readers perception of it, if they wanna think of it as just the word suck, they'll do it,
if they wanna think of it as a sexual reference, they'll do it. But alternatives might be something like...this is annoying, this is terrible, this bites (already mentioned but oh well) those are offically the worst alternatives i've ever come up with...sorry.

5.You could seriously just say he yelled in pain or something along the lines of that, the character technically doesn't have to say anything.
Or he could just say ouch...argh...my hand? One of those.

Hope i helped :>

[randomuser2349]

Use a bunch of symbols, and make sure they don't match the number of letters of your cuss words.