I'm a little afraid people are going to get sick of me right now. Okay, a lot afraid. I don't want to seem like I'm seeking pity but you guys are my only prayer community right now. I haven't gotten to go to church yet and plan on doing so this weekend, which scares me (i know weird).
As I'm writing this, I am crying. The physical pain I am in is excrutiating despite homeopathic remedies, prescriptions and anything I can think of. I can't get more pain mgmt until I get this appointment on October 6th and its just so difficult to live with that, the seizures starting again, everything.
I also know my boyfriend is going to go into a bad home situation so I worry for him but he keeps telling me to trust God.
I feel like a failure, I'm trying to trust God and it is so hard. I know I'm weak and trust has never been my strong suite so maybe that's why God is allowing this. I can't do this on my own. I need help and trying to get it.
Please pray that even though this illness will continue, which I can accept, that God will remind me again and again of his love for me. I know he does, I just can't always see it. Please pray that I grow in Christ. Please pray that God protects my boyfriend. Please pray that God helps me with dealing with the pain, that as I pray during it, he will bring me serenity even though physically its bad.
I'm sorry again for posting on this again and I hope this isn't asking for pity. I don't always know if I am or not. Thank you for loving me, even if you don't know me. (To me praying for someone, means that they love them in a way - Christ wise I mean). I really appreciate everyone here and just...Thank you.