Guilt over Everything

[Momo-P]

It sounds kind of insane, but lately...I've been totally feeling guilty over almost everything. It's not as if I honestly believe everything I do is evil, but it's more that worry of "what if this could be wrong? Then I should just give it up...JUST IN CASE..."

It's like every little thing is "just in case". I can't even enjoy freaking Azumanga Daioh for heaven's sake! Why? Well you know how Tomo is known for being a jerk (but in a hilarious way)? It's like I worry that, even though it's done for humor and is in no way being treated like something you should do, that it's still wrong to find funny and you shouldn't watch the show because people aren't perfect. Ya, I know, that's REALLY over the top (especially considering these aren't real people hurting each other, so I think that kind of cancels out it being a sin), but it's the type of crap that comes to mind. In many ways I wonder if it's just satan trying to make me feel bad, to not enjoy the things God has given me, but then there's that other part of me that doubts that.

All and all, I think a lot of it has to do with Jesus's lukewarm comment. It's been awhile since I've read the passage, but remembering it in context, I believe Jesus was heavily refering to false prophets and whatnot. Although the passage could also be refering to Christians who only call themselves that because "I went to sunday school" or "well my parents were Christians..." and that's seriously as far as their relationship with God goes, a lot of it reminds me of those false healers and prophets you see on tv. The ones who go real over the top and often turn out to be cheating people just for money. Sure they preach His holy name, heal, and tell of the coming future, but many of them are revealed to be phonies who just used Christians to gain money. In their cases, they fit Jesus's words perfectly. Still though, there's always that worry I'm just like them, that I'm lukewarm and I'm going to hell. I know you may tell me that's just not true, that I'm way to concerned to be lukewarm, but I still worry. I almost feel like if I DON'T worry about every tiny detail, then I'm not a real Christian.

Another thing that makes me worry is how in Jesus tells the people He didn't come to destroy the law in Matt5. Although part of that passage is Him trying to get across "look, I'm the Messiah the prophets told you about" without actually saying it, He also talks about the Law of Moses and the commands given. My mom says the commands He's talking about are the Ten Commandments, but seeing how Moses gave so many government/cultural/etc. laws as well, I keep worrying those apply as well. I know many people have told me that simply isn't true, that even Paul says those laws don't apply anymore, but I just keep worrying. What if something is misunderstood? What if we're suppose to celebrate all those feasts nowadays and not do this or say that or whatever?

Just in short, I'm worrying about everything. I just wanna make sure I don't tick God off and screw up...or well, screw up more than normal...*sighs*

[goldenspines]

If being a christian was a matter of how "good" of a person we each are, Jesus' death on the cross would mean nothing. That, or course, is not true. Our salvation is determined by grace through faith, not by actions.

Momo, you seem to be viewing God as a rather mean, easily angered God who will dump you at the nearest sidewalk curb once you turn away from Him or don't have a "strong enough" faith. God is not like that at all. Why would He send His Son to die for our sins, since He already knew how terrible we are and how many times we will still turn away from Him?

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. - John 3:16-17

Also, if you have a lot of confusion about God having a quick temper, just check out the whole Old Testament. All of the great people, considered men and women of God, screwed up so many times it would make your head spin. Yet God was very patient with them. He didn't ditch them when they messed up or doubted Him. Take David for a good example of this. That guy was anything far from virtuous, but God still had patience with him, and David recognized God's mercy on Him:

But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. - Psalm 86:15


All in all, before you start analyzing every little thing you do in your life and determining whether it's "good" or not, get yourself right with God. Ask yourself if you are seeing Him the way He is described in His Word. Or are you seeing a lie that the devil told you to make you scared to live your life?

God should be the center of your life. Granted, everyone turns their back on God; everyone. But the important part, after you've realized you've turned away from Him, is coming back to Him, instead of running further away.

[chibiphonebooth]

momo, the enemy has gotten a nice little foothold in your life right now. he's trying to make you so concerned with getting every little thing right, that you are missing the whole bigger picture of G-d. G-d doesn't have a checklist, and is checking off everything you did wrong. christianity is not about getting a certain "grade" or being the best at everything.
my friend just posted this on her myspace, and i think it applies well.
"Come ye weary, heavy-laden, lost & ruined by the fall. If we tarry til we're better, we will never come at all."

what is the point of coming to G-d if you are already doing everything right? Jesus died BECAUSE we are messed up. It's all grace.

All you have to do is love G-d as much as you can. don't worry about getting things right. If your heart begins to burn with the love of G-d, then everything else will come naturally.

And if G-d doesn't like something you are doing, he'll convict you. but convicting is different from guilt tripping.

remember this, G-d does not guilt-trip. If you start to feel guilty and filthy or full of self pity, that is not G-d.

All in all, before you start analyzing every little thing you do in your life and determining whether it's "good" or not, get yourself right with God. Ask yourself if you are seeing Him the way He is described in His Word. Or are you seeing a lie that the devil told you to make you scared to live your life?

God should be the center of your life. Granted, everyone turns their back on God; everyone. But the important part, after you've realized you've turned away from Him, is coming back to Him, instead of running further away.

this.

[Makachop^^128]

It's like every little thing is "just in case". I can't even enjoy freaking Azumanga Daioh for heaven's sake! Why? Well you know how Tomo is known for being a jerk (but in a hilarious way)? It's like I worry that,

lol I'm non as Tomo to my friends form that lol


but anyways I'll pray for you, I'm sure God wants us to enjoy life as well as keep it holy.

[shooraijin]

I'll be honest, I had a lot of trouble understanding your premise. But I think it should also be said that much is made of the sturm und drang of Christianity, which is silly, because the vast majority of life isn't an infinite progression of living on an intense feeling or a very sharp edge, and people seem to think that when they're not feeling something they must be dead. It ruins marriages too, because everyone is always looking for juice, and figure when there's no more to be had that the marriage must have failed, so if we're not constantly ON FIRE HOLY COW FOR GOD WE ARE BURNING NOW then we're going to hell.

Does that sound at all logical to you? :-P

[Shao Feng-Li]

"It's like I worry that, even though it's done for humor and is in no way being treated like something you should do, that it's still wrong to find funny and you shouldn't watch the show because people aren't perfect."

In that sort of situation, of a character not always treating another character right, how do would you deal with the same thing in real life? You can't go into a grocery store and shop if you close your eyes and plug your ears.

If it were a sinful thing to be around bad situations, we'd have to lock ourselves in our basements.

Also, how can one even read the Bible? There are jerks in that too. Also violence, prostitution, murder, disobedient children, adulatory, etc. Obviously, it's all about context.

Also, the Bible does say to treat each other rightly, but at the same time, it's not a bad thing that you find humor in things. For instance, it wasn't nice when Tomo threw Chiyo's keys into the grass, but it's also not a bad thing to find the situation humorous. You yourself are merely an observer. Say "That wasn't nice, but it was funny."

A lot of anime, manga and TV shows take things that happen in life. Stuff happens. You know?

You can't let yourself worry about every last little sin you might make. We sin intentionally and even unknowingly. Our very beings and nature are that of sin. No matter what we do, we cannot make ourselves good enough for Christ to want us for he said "We love Him because He first loved us." He chose us in the first place- not because we ever could do anything, but because He wanted too. He gives each of us out measure of Faith.

"Rom 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
Rom 8:36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
Rom 8:37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
Rom 8:38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Rom 8:39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Twice here God tells us that nothing can separate us from His love. Before this world even existed, He had chosen us and do not think for even a moment He does not love you.

God is not angry with his Christians. We are His sons and daughters. Rely on Him and His word and your paths will be made strait.

You don't always have to feel fired up nor do you have to jump for joy every moment of the say- some days prayer is hard, we're sad and/or angry, etc. This does not mean God hates us or that we're luke warm. Rather, He lovingly encourages us to stand up again.

[freerock1]

I'll tell you one thing for sure... God doesn't want us to worry at all. Especially, I don't believe God wants us to worry about our relationship with Him. Remember these Scriptures:

- From Isaiah 41:10 - Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
- John 14:1 (Jesus speaking) - Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.
- Psalm 34:4 - I sought the LORD, and He heard me, And delivered me from all my fears.
- Romans 8:15 - For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, "Abba, Father."
- 2 Timothy 1:7 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

With all the times God tells us not to fear, it absolutely would not make sense for Him to want us to worry about our relationship with Him. It's true that we're supposed to have a "fear of God," but this refers to having a reverence of Him, not being terrified of Him.

Plus, we believe the love God has for us is perfect, right? 1 John 4:18 tells us, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment" (emphasis mine).

And if you're worried about the "what ifs"... remember, God's grace is great enough to cover the mistakes both that we realize and that we don't realize. Our sins were forgiven at the cross--even though the sins of everyone walking the earth today wouldn't be committed until centuries later--and our hope needs to be placed fully on the grace that God will give us.

I'll continue to lift you up in prayer, my sister.

[Yamamaya]

Hey there Momo. I went through a period like this when I was much younger. I came out of it when I realized how far from perfection humans are.

We can never hope to obtain perfection, in fact that is why Jesus died for us. In the end, we are "forgiven sinners" not "perfected saints."

Also about that text regarding lukewarm water, you'll understand what Jesus was saying if you look at the historical context. In Laodicea, warm and cold water had its uses. You could wash with warm water and drink cold water. However, lukewarm water was good for nothing. Jesus was talking about apathetic Christians imo. Those Christians who were neither hot nor cold, but simply stayed uselessly in the middle.

Anyway I'll keep you in my prayers.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

To worry is to not have faith, which is an insult to God. I know you understand Momo, but I think that you will have times which you will be neurotic about this, thus you'll worry about worrying, which in turn will create more guilt and you'll beat yourself down even more.

Every day has it's own problems, so don't think about tomorrow. And also don't worry about worrying. XD But once you continually recognize these, you're just closer to further growing in God.