I'm going to hell

[Momo-P]

I believe and accept Jesus from the bottom of my heart, but I know I'm going to hell. I'm absolutely convinced of it. I know this may seem impossible and crazy, but it has nothing to do with doubting His power. It's not like I don't believe He can forgive all sin, I know He can...but I think I did the only unforgivable sin...and now I can't enjoy life. Why should I? Knowing I'll forever be burning and punished just...who cares anymore.

Some months ago (early 2008 I believe) the devil began to place doubts in my head. That "what if" question. What if Jesus wasn't God? What if it was satan or a demon? I originally blew this thought off because Jesus does explain the whole "a kingdom can't be divided against itself", but one day at work (or maybe while at home) I started questioning that saying. Please don't ask me "why doesn't that make sense? It makes perfect sense to me!" Because I don't even know now. I don't remember at all WHY I thought it didn't make sense, but I guess that's what doubt does to you? Either way, it started leading me to that main question above. It mostly revolved around this:

Although what Jesus did was holy and good (and I wasn't denying it), it was the mere worry that, yanno...what if satan was trying to mislead God's people. After all, I kept thinking of Revelation and how humanity will be misled with "what appears to be good" so it's not like I was accusing holy actions of being evil. It was the mere worry of satan trying to do what he does best--deceive. So I kept worrying and doubting, what if it was really a demon or satan trying to screw humanity over? I believe I kept praying to God and Jesus the whole time I had these problems (not saying it was easy because it obviously bothered me heavily), but I still kept praying. Some months passed, the stupid question arose again, but much worse this time.

I eventually almost took it on like...I dunno. Some sort of challenge? A puzzle? I decided "fine, lets pretend it was satan" and put him in Jesus's shoes. I actually wrote it all out individually on notepad and lined it up--showing what Jesus actually did and what satan would actually WANT to do. Needless to say, it easily made things obvious--if satan had the chance to deceive humanity from a human standpoint, there were a number of things he would NEVER do (that Jesus did) and a number of things he definitely would attempt (that Jesus didn't). Things still kept bothering me and making me question over and over and go in circles, I even made a small request about this issue while here, but...eh.

I'm just so scared now. I keep re-reading Mark3:20-30. No matter how many times I look it over, I'm convinced. I did it. I did what I will never be forgiven of. It doesn't matter that I asked for forgiveness, it doesn't matter that I only worried because I didn't want to follow the wrong thing. I'm not saying doubt or worry is good, but...I love God. I never stopped believeing in Jesus, I know this in my heart, but I obviously worried for a moment because...well...why would you wanna follow the wrong thing and make God angry? It wasn't like I was doubting God Himself--I knew the Old Testament and everything was true, it was just that worry that satan would try any chance he got to deceive (which I think most Christians will agree to be true) so I couldn't help but worry of the worst case scenario. What if he tried to do pretend to be the messiah? Again, I know it's not true, but that fact that it really bothered me and made me question so bad...I feel like going through all this made me say something against the Holy Spirit.

Did I really do it though? Or was it totally different? If we receive the Holy Spirit when we accept Jesus, then wouldn't be impossible for me to even speak against the Holy Spirit anyways? How could I say it's evil if it was in me? Unless it left before then...*frowns* I'm just so scared, I can't enjoy anything anymore, I wish I wasn't born...

[Kaligraphic]

You didn't commit "the unpardonable sin". That's the devil trying to scare you into thinking he's got you.

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
-Romans 8:38-39 (KJV)

The blasphemy of which Jesus spoke was not just ordinary blasphemy, but was the failure of Israel to receive Him that lost the Jewish people as a whole the exclusivity of their first claim on the savior, and led to salvation being available to the whole world. You didn't do that. You physically can't do that. You're not going to hell. Anyone who says you are is a liar - even if it's that voice in your head that sounds so sweet and reasonable. That's one of the common tricks of the enemy - he'll whisper in your ear, and say that since you thought something, that's how you are. Don't fall for that tripe. When you hear something like that, rebuke the devil for lying to you.

[Momo-P]

The blasphemy of which Jesus spoke was not just ordinary blasphemy, but was the failure of Israel to receive Him that lost the Jewish people as a whole the exclusivity of their first claim on the savior, and led to salvation being available to the whole world. You didn't do that. You physically can't do that. You're not going to hell. Anyone who says you are is a liar - even if it's that voice in your head that sounds so sweet and reasonable. That's one of the common tricks of the enemy - he'll whisper in your ear, and say that since you thought something, that's how you are. Don't fall for that tripe. When you hear something like that, rebuke the devil for lying to you.

But if that's true, then what about Luke 12:8-12? It mentions how speaking against Jesus can be forgiven, but speaking against the Holy Spirit cannot be. What's exactly the difference? I'd have no problem proclaiming my faith infront of anyone, but it feels like that just wouldn't mean anything because of these moments of doubting...

[Reon]

I can't believe you posted this today, almost the exact same words came out of my mouth to a lesser degree but not because of one of the "unpardonable sins". I've felt what it's been like to have God lead your life, I know the power he has, yet the past month because of doubt in myself (not God) I believe put the word aside. I have no clue WHY I said this infront of my parents none the less other than honesty being of what I'd like to think who I am as well as an open book - I made the comment "If I were to die I would guess I'm going to hell." I honestly don't know what came over me to have even said that. God's grace is sufficient, and John 3:16 (a verse we all pry know) "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, [SIZE="4"]that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.[/SIZE]"

In my mind I'm still pondering the meaning of that belief. I would think you would have to have a certain level of belief . . . I seriously need to get back into the word, meditate on it day and night like the Bible says to do. God open the eyes of my heart!

In response to your thread, I want to tell you about a dream a close friend of mine had whose a youth pastor. He dreamt he was in heaven before God. Behind God was this huge glorious pillar extending high above and far below until you couldn't see how far it went anymore. Then God spoke to him and said do you see how much grace I have for you? It's been awhile since he told me this dream and I meet with him again this Wednesday so will make any corrections if need be. Just remember, our God is an awesome God he reigns, from heaven above with wisdom, power and love (one of my favorite songs, the part I can sing OVER and OVER again).

Romans 11:6 stood out to me when reviewing verses about grace
"And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace."

My quick interpretation of this regarding your situation would be that if your works/thoughts caused you to fall away from his grace... it wouldn't be grace.

Well its 1:17 Im going to bed for Church in the morning, I can't wait to get some fellowship and send some worship up to God. Its not about me anyways... right? <3 Definitely pick this back up and gather my thoughts before I do. Great response kali

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Your OCD tendices are hard for me to appreciate and to be honest I find them tiring. But you have not blasphemed the Holy Spirt. If you had you would not be worried about having done so. You would be blaise about the whole thing. Trust in God and his promises. Listen for his voice and tell Satan and his demons to bugger off. He clearly is having a field day with you but you remain in Christ. You can stand your ground and with God at your side, be victorious in Him.

[rocklobster]

momo-p: Remember this
[SIZE="7"]THE DEVIL HAS NO POWER OVER YOU![/SIZE]
Evil is only as powerful as one allows it to be. You need some prayer, so I pray that God will send a special angel to comfort you and minister to you. You are not lost. Not by a long shot.
Here's a hug for you, you need it more than ever::hug:
In fact, here, it's an angel glomp: :hug:

[goldenspines]

Saying God can't forgive you for doubting Him is like saying Jesus' sacrifice wasn't enough to save your soul.

From that passages you posted, yes, there is only one unforgivable sin. But it's not "doubting"; instead, it's not accepting the Holy Spirit and in a sense, rejecting God. Of course, this sin is not final until a person is dead, because many people have many chances to become Christians before they die. But if they do not, that is considered a sin and they cannot be forgiven because they rejected God's grace.

Also, on the subject of doubting, look at all the men and women of the Bible(aside from Jesus); they all doubted God at some point. Moses doubted God's power when he was asked to go free the Israelites out of Egypt; Gideon doubted God so much that he actually wanted TWO signs to show that God really meant what He said; and jumping to the New Testament, Thomas (one of Jesus' own disciples) was made famous for doubting; the list goes on....

Concerning Satan/the devil, yes, he's trying to mess things up down here on earth. But, that's because he knows that he has lost already.
God is extremely more power than the devil, therefore, put your whole trust in God and the devil cannot get to you.

And lastly, there is no place in the Bible that says outright that the Holy Spirit will leave you if you sin, therefore, you can dismiss that thought.

I'll keep you in my prayers.

[Kaligraphic]

And lastly, there is no place in the Bible that says outright that the Holy Spirit will leave you if you sin, therefore, you can dismiss that thought.

In fact, it says quite the opposite:

for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.
-Romans 11:29 (NASB)

You can't lose any gift or calling from God, it says. And salvation and the Holy Spirit are both what? Gifts of God. Therefore, you can't lose them. Therefore, whatever you did or did not do, if you received them, you have them.

[foolishbunny]

Jehova for gives period.
just look at kings Davids decendents were corrupt not all but most and GOD gave them tons of shots to get it right.
dude just keep the faith believe in the power Jehova can bring...
and being christian isn't an easy road i'm telling you it even says it in the Bible but we should be honored to have hard times just as Jesus did concider it a blessing

[freerock1]

Momo,

You say you're convinced that you've committed this sin. Based on what you've posted, I am convinced that you have not committed the unpardonable sin.

One take I've heard on the unpardonable sin is that Jesus was specifically referring to people who literally said that, as He walked on earth, He was casting out demons by the prince of demons. Jesus no longer walks the earth in physical form. Thus, it is impossible today to directly accuse Jesus of casting out demons by the prince of demons, and therefore, it is impossible today to even commit the unpardonable sin. Though I'm not sure I fully agree with this theory, I do think it is worth considering.

Another take I've heard (and the one I tend more to agree with) is that, again, the ones to whom Jesus was referring had said He was casting out demons by the prince of demons. However, we know that Jesus cast out demons by the Holy Spirit. These people were essentially calling the Holy Spirit, Satan. While it is not impossible to commit the unpardonable sin today, the person who does so would have become so depraved that they would literally call the Holy Spirit was Satan.

Here's the thing... Satan is the deceiver, and the giver of fear. He is lying to you, telling you that you have blasphemed the Spirit. And since he is such an effective deceiver, it's become easy for you to believe what he's telling you. (If it weren't, he wouldn't be the deceiver that he is.)

But from what you've told me, you never, at any point, literally called the Holy Spirit, Satan. You simply formed a proof by contradiction, and you systematically broke down Satan's argument that Jesus was not divine. (Quite effectively, I might add -- not to mention that it reminds me of 2 Corinthians 10:5 which speaks of casting down arguments that exalt themselves against the knowledge of God. Also, 1 John 4:1 tells us to test the spirits, to see whether they are of God.)

So Satan has changed his attack. He is trying to get at you with fear, to convince you that you've blasphemed the Spirit and can never be forgiven.

Don't buy into it anymore! God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). He knows your heart, and He is greater than any effort of Satan to convince you otherwise. You are God's child. Don't put up with the crap that the enemy is putting into your mind any more. Rather, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power (Ephesians 6:10).

You may have stumbled for a moment in your doubt, but from what you've told me, you have not committed the unpardonable sin. We can grieve the Holy Spirit with unbelief, but that is certainly not an unforgivable sin.

Hopefully this helps. I will be lifting you up in prayer, my sister. Be encouraged, and don't give up the faith.

[Reon]

This thought hit me last night when I was praying - short and simple. The Bible tells us not to judge, what gives you the right to judge yourself? It quickly complicates itself when you think about what could possibly be judging yourself. I only mean to say, don't condemn yourself. Thats are part in "The Revival Hymn" on youtube that says something along the lines of, you know your really all out for God when you say even if I end up going to hell in the end, I'm going to worship you Lord because you deserve glory.

[Momo-P]

But from what you've told me, you never, at any point, literally called the Holy Spirit, Satan.

Not that I remember I didn't...

I know I DEFINITELY didn't go up to anyone and say "lol, you know He was possibly a demon, right? 8D" so that's in the clear. As for my personal beliefs...eh. I don't recall actually saying "oh ya, He's a demon alright" even to myself. All I had was the question of it was actually somebody else pretending to be the messiah, which I didn't even think was so insane to ask. While it's true I still feel bad about it, on the flip side of things, I also don't think God wants us to just accept things instantly and not make sure we know what we're believeing in. I mean, yes Jesus is God, I know that, but for the sake of arguement, what if something DIDN'T add up? Who really wants to get their butt handed to them for following the wrong guy?

The only real downside of that issue was that I let my doubt get the better of me. I remember praying to God heavily for the right answer and guidance (as well as Jesus, even though that was kind of hard and awkward considering the circumstances), but it just got me running in so many circles...sometimes it made me doubt the answers I had even received. At the end of the day, I guess the reason it bothered me so much was that, instead of simply doubting Jesus as God (which is bad enough as it is), I was specifically worrying that it was the enemy impersonating Him. Which is exactly who they said He was (or was in Him, whatever). But if I understand your post right, you're saying there's a difference. Where as they outright told people that's where He drew His power from, I never actually preached that to people and was still trying to figure it out myself. In fact, I never actually stopped sorting information out until it went in Jesus's favor. Otherwise I would've just kept doing it.

Otherwise guys...I do thank you all so much for these replies. I know I only replied to this one, but only because I wanted to make sure how I was understanding it and how I was being understood in return. Otherwise I truely am grateful to you all and apologize for any headaches I've caused...

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

The blaspheming of the Holy Spirit is outright rejection of God's gift of grace. You haven't done that. Live in His peace.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

The blaspheming of the Holy Spirit is outright rejection of God's gift of grace. You haven't done that. Live in His peace.

Agreed. It is a rejection of his unquestionable manifestation. No Christian would ever do that because they're Christian!

[Sparx00]

The blaspheming of the Holy Spirit is outright rejection of God's gift of grace. You haven't done that. Live in His peace.

This. Is the head of the nail.

The bible says something important about our relationship with Jesus as Christians. (In MANY places mind you,) But heres one I want you to hear.

Romans 8:35-38

35:Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36:As it is writen: "For your sake, we face death all day long]ANY[/u] powers, 39:neither hight nor depth, nor ANYTHING else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our lord.

Nothing you do can ever separate you from God Momo. I want you to know that. Satan just wants you to think that you blew it. Believe me, you haven't done the unforgivable sin. There is no such thing. Remember, Jesus died for ALL our sins. Not just some of them. I hope I was of some help to you. May God surround you with His love and comfort. I'll be praying for you.

[RefractedAhav]

Thank you for posting about this Momo, and thank you to every one else for their response. I have now relized that I am not the only one being attacked in this way. While not exactly the same in every detail, the Accuser has been trying to get me to give up in a very simular maner. I think that it is important that now more than ever it is important not just to stand firm in the Faith that God has given to us, but to stand firm together. I don't remember where, but there is a verse that states that a three-fold cord is not quickly broken. We need to stand together. for too long I have tried to go on telling my self that all I need is Christ, but Christ most often works through others. When I try go off on my own I am only hurting myself. All I am trying to say is that we need each other to help fend of the attacks of the Enemy. We are fortunate to have such a community as this that seeks truth and acts in Love.

Again thank you all for your contribution to this conversation. And Momo I will pray for you, as I too know what it is like to fight fear and doubt.

[freerock1]

While it's true I still feel bad about it, on the flip side of things, I also don't think God wants us to just accept things instantly and not make sure we know what we're believeing in. I mean, yes Jesus is God, I know that, but for the sake of arguement, what if something DIDN'T add up? Who really wants to get their butt handed to them for following the wrong guy?

I think you're right. I mentioned this passage before, but 1 John 4:1-3 tells us not to believe every spirit, but to test the spirits to see whether they are of God. Whether you realized it or not, I think that's what you were doing with your "proof by contradiction."

Plus, I believe you were casting down an argument that had tried to set itself up against the knowledge of God that you possess, like 2 Corinthians 10:5 talks about. (I know I mentioned that verse before as well, but I thought it was worth repeating.)

The only real downside of that issue was that I let my doubt get the better of me.

Well, like I said before, we can grieve the Spirit with our doubts, unbelief, etc. But this is certainly not an unpardonable sin.

Ephesians 4:30 speaks of grieving the Spirit, but it does not mention that as an unpardonable sin. In fact, it pointedly says that the Holy Spirit is the One by whom we are sealed for the day of redemption.

Also, 1 John 1:7 says that if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin.

From that, it's hard for me to believe that it is even possible for a Christian to blaspheme the Holy Spirit. Remember, Jesus is the light of the world (John 8:12), and if God has promised to forgive those who walk in the light of all their sins, how could someone who is walking in the light commit a sin that is unforgivable? Wouldn't that be a contradiction, hence making God a liar? (And Titus 1:2 tells us God cannot lie.)

At the end of the day, I guess the reason it bothered me so much was that, instead of simply doubting Jesus as God (which is bad enough as it is), I was specifically worrying that it was the enemy impersonating Him. Which is exactly who they said He was (or was in Him, whatever). But if I understand your post right, you're saying there's a difference. Where as they outright told people that's where He drew His power from, I never actually preached that to people and was still trying to figure it out myself. In fact, I never actually stopped sorting information out until it went in Jesus's favor. Otherwise I would've just kept doing it.

Right. There's definitely a difference.

I think the fact that you've even been concerned about this is a good sign that you haven't blasphemed the Spirit. If you had blasphemed the Spirit and honestly said in your heart that Jesus was satanically-empowered, most likely nothing could have changed your mind at that point -- much like the apparent attitude of the Pharisees who accused Jesus of casting out demons by demonic power.

Are you familiar with the story of Lee Strobel? He's the author of The Case for Christ and the other "Case for..." books. At the time he started doing the research for what would eventually become The Case for Christ, he was an atheist and a newspaper reporter who was trying to make a historical case against Jesus Christ being the Son of God. But the more he researched, the more he became convinced and convicted that Jesus was indeed the Son of God, and eventually he was so convinced that he became a Christian.

Obviously we should trust God fully and not doubt. But God is so big and so powerful that He can even use our doubts to reveal Himself to us.

I hope and pray that you're feeling more at peace about your walk with God than you were a couple days ago. Just remember, the devil is the one who beats us down and accuses us. Revelation 12:10-11 speaks of Satan accusing the saints day and night. But the saints overcome him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. Likewise, when the enemy comes to accuse us today, we need to stand firm on God's Word, knowing that our sins are forgiven and that we are children of God, made righteous not because of what we've done but because of Jesus' sacrifice. Sometimes the Holy Spirit will convict us, and we'll need to confess our sin. But the Holy Spirit is our Comforter; He never comes to beat us down.

In the Old Testament, Zechariah 3 tells a story similar to the one in Revelation 12. One of God's servants, named Joshua, is being opposed by Satan. Joshua is wearing filthy garments, most likely representing sin. But God never rebukes Joshua. Instead, the Lord rebukes Satan, declaring that He has snatched His servant from the fire. Then, God has Joshua's garments of sin taken away and has him clothed with clean, rich robes. It's not a passage that is preached on very often, but IMHO, it's one of the most beautiful stories in the Old Testament.

Anyway, I'm continuing to lift you up in prayer, my sister, as others are. Hopefully this is of some encouragement, and if there's anything else I can do to be of help, please let me know.

[EricTheFred]

Momo,

I wish I knew if I really invented this phrase, or if I'm quoting somebody, but the phrase is "The Devil carries a Bible." What I mean is that he creates his best lies not out of whole cloth but by cleverly picking and choosing just the right bits of scripture in order to build his confusing arguments to tear down at our faith (cleverly omitting the parts that would give lie to his logic). Outside of our Lord, he is probably the greatest biblical scholar ever.

I can't say I agree with every specific theological point made above, but I agree wholeheartedly with the general underlying principle everyone has stuck to: Christ came to us wash away all our sins and bring us forgiveness. He swept away the old morass of myriad laws with damnation for failing to follow every one of them perfectly.

Since it is about healing rather than forgiveness, I'm quoting this in the wrong context, but it still seems somehow appropriate: "Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in Peace."

[rocklobster]

Yep, as Shakespeare once said "The devil uses Scripture to suit his own purpose."

[WhiteMage212]

Not much of help (no scripture reference), but I remember that after you ask God into your heart, He will never let go of you. The only circumstace that you will go to hell is if you are still a sinner without God, or you have denied Christ and that He is not your Savior. That's just what i'm saying, I'm not quite sure what scripture says about it.

[Htom Sirveaux]

I think it's not only all right, but essential for any Christian to spend some time questioning the faith. You don't wanna just thoughtlessly swallow everything you're fed at church. You have to ask those questions, and look hard for good (not flimsy, but truly satisfactory) answers. Then you can understand it and know (or at least have a better idea) what kind of God you serve and why you do it.

[familygibbs]

I agree with Htom. It is essential for Christians to question their faith in order to grow in their faith. Christianity should never be a blind faith or it would become like a cult. Look at some of the great theologians of the last 2000 years. Martin Luther, who ran to the monastery in fear of God's wrath, found that no amount of outward penitence and acts could assure him of salvation. As he said, "I lost touch with Christ the Savior and Comforter, and made of him the jailer and hangman of my poor soul." As he read the Bible, he questioned many of the things the Catholic church was teaching at the time, despite the criticism he took from other monks and leaders. He probably thought some pretty blasphemous things too as he was struggling through it.
I have asked some of the same questions you have and it was important because it really helped my understanding of God grow. I believe the Holy Spirit will ultimately guide a Christian through the murkiness and bring them to the right conclusion on those things that are essential for salvation and a proper relationship with God. So fret, yes, but let that struggle drive you back to Scripture and meditating on what you do already know to be true and the answers will come. Remember, that you can never lose your salvation once you are in Christ and that "He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion."

[Momo-P]

Saying thanks again for some of the new comments, I'm starting to feel a bit better. I recently decided to read the KJV of this passage and it seems to back up more what everyone here said. Though it is rather weird...most versions I've read about this passage seem so different from the original. Jesus only says the person who blasphemes the Spirit is "in danger" of eternal damnation. I could be wrong, but doesn't that only SUGGEST they could go to hell? No guarentee? Why the rest seem to totally reword this line confuses me, but...eh. *shrugs* Seems like a rather important change personally, unless I just misread the old style speech.

Still, thanks for the prayers and words guys...

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

I'm not sure why but most modern translations are actually more accurate than the KJV.

[shooraijin]

Preemptive mod note: no KJV vs. other translations around here -- that's TheologyWeb material, in case anyone was tempted.