Bad thought stickies. D:

[Bap]

Solike, sorry. If there's anyone who hates... Gaia or something. xD; But, http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?t=5362797 <--- basically the gist of my problem. Sorta. D: [First post is mine, of course. xD;]

Soyeah, it's been a few days then, and I've had my ups and downs. @_@; Rightnow. I'm in one of those downs 'gain. D:

I just get all these scary bad thoughts in my head, like the whole. Blaspheming against the Holy Spirit thing. D: And I'm afraid I'll start believing it or something. u_u; HopefullyI'mnotalreadyofcourse. u_u; 'cauelike, I don't want to believe the. Lies and whatnot. D: It'slike, it's in my head, so I'm. Not sure if it's just in my head? Or if I'm believing in it. And it's like... "@____@;;;;"

I'm just. In one of my... not listening to common sense moments at the... uh... moment. [Bad wording ftw. ;;D:]

soyeahfreakedoutatthemoment. .__.;

Idunno, it'd be osm if people could pray for me or somefin'. u_u;;;;

EDITEDITEDIT. 8DD As of 11.08.06: (Omigosh, this is a pretty long read, but I'd honestly appreciate it soooo much if you'd stick with me to the end. ._.;;;)

Okay, well, ummm... I guess, just to sorta. Sticky an update on another thing I want prayer on... xD;;; I'm doing better, I think. @o@;;; The problem's... sorta faded away? It's still there though... just not as badly, I guess you could say. xD;;;

But, um. About two days ago, another problem sorta. Appeared. xD;;;

Um, well. Just, to uh... start this off, I guess... I like, RP a lot, and stuff, y'know? So, I like, imaginate RPs and stuff and stories and whatnot throughout the day, yar? o: And, well, about two days ago, I was doing this while I was like. Half-awake? And like... I guess just to say, maybe... I'm taking this too seriously, 'cause it was done in sorta a comical fashion, but I was just imagining and like, one of my characters was all, "I'm a Satanist~ O:<~" and... yeah. xD;;; They did it in like... a sorta anime style goofy scene way, right? xD;;; With wavy fingers and the whole gloom background. D: And well, yeah. xD;;; I was half-conscious and stuff, so it was probably a brain fart on my part. @_@;;; [Edit: Just to clarify, I think what happened was that like... the thought stickies I've been having, sorta like... merged with my imaginating while I was half-conscious. xD;;; Y'know how like, when you think when you're like, half-asleep, your mind wanders off on its own? xD;; Something like that, I think. D:]

And if isn't implied... none of my characters are Satanist. xDD;;; Like, I had made a world for me and my friends' characters and stuff, and there isn't even any religion or any of that in the world. D: So basically, they don't have any religious affiliation at all. xD;;;

And, um. I guess you can see why it sorta bothers me? But like, something that bothers me just as much is that it isn't true, yet I'm still bothered by it. D:

And, well, I think I'm... getting a little better. Like, before, I couldn't really... get comfortable and relax, and get into character and stuff? D: And, well, it's like... that word, it keeps lingering in the back of my mind, and what happens is that I'm reading like, a manga or something, or just doing something in general, and that word is there lingering in the back of my mind, and it feels like I'm... calling them that. >_>;;; Even something like. A hairbrush or something. xDD;;;

Soyeah, it's pretty bothersome. D:

And well, right now... I really want to just like, let it go, and be comfortable, and stuff, you know? But there's this part of my brain that's all, "Noooo, if you let it go, then that just means you're getting comfortable with the bad thought, and you're just saying it's true. ):" But then there's the part of me that wants to just let it go that says, "Dude, it's not true. Dx You're just freaking out over something that's not even true. xD;;;"

And then my paranoid side of the brain is all, "What if it was true? And you just don't know? ):" And it's like, "...How would I not know if it were true or not? D:" "...I dunno, just maybe. u_u"

I mean, there's not even any religion in this world. xDD;;;

And I think another thing why it bothers me is not so much I'm afraid of believing it... maybe. xD;; But just the fact that that word is lingering in the back of my mind? So, once again, it's like... a part of my head is all, "If you just forget about the word then it'll be alright. 8D" And then there's the paranoid part that's all... "NOOOO. KEEPING THAT WORD IN MIND IS WHAT'S KEEPING YOU FROM THINKING IT'S TRUE. IF YOU FORGET IT, IT JUST MEANS IT'S GONE FROM YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND, BUT YOU'RE UNCONSCIOUSLY RECOGNIZING IT."

...and, yeah. .____.;;; Do you see why I'm bothered? xD;;; So, what I'm wondering is... what should I do? D: Should I just forget it, and let it go, and relax and get comfortable and stuff? Or should I keep holding onto it? ._.;;; I mean, either way it's... sorta uncomfortable. xD;;;

I think another problem is, I have a hard time believing myself. xD;;; It's like, even though I say, "Durh-hur. It's not true. >_>;" there's always that, "WHAT IF..." part of my head, y'know? xD;;;

And another problem (lotsa problems, I'm sorry. xD;;; .____.;;;) is that... it's like, I keep dwelling and lingering on this thought, trying to just make it go away, and make everything go back to normal before all this happened, and like... I just don't feel like doing stuff. ._.;;; Like, homework, and just stuff in general, 'cause like... that stuff makes me forget it, and then there's that, "NO, DON'T FORGET." part of my head. ._.;;; And like, I sorta. Droodle and stuff a bit, and my RP is a lot of inspiration for my doodles. xD;;; so, yeah... .__.;;;

Basically, to sorta sum up, what should I do? Forget...? Linger...? Something else...? xD;;; It'd be soooo great if you could have encouragement and stuff for me, and of course pray for me. .___.;;;

Um... yeah... xD;;; I'm sorry this was so long, I have a tendency to ramble. xDD;;;


quickupdateedithinglawls. D: : Um... I guess. This could be like. ....A status report? xD;;; That's. My messed up wording way of putting it, I guess. xD;;;

I think... I'm sorta doing better. D: ...maybe. ._.; It's like, when the "Satan" word pops up in my head, I don't get all weird and panicky, and I just... sorta wave it off? D: I'm not sure if that's a good thing though. xD; 'Cause like... I'm afraid of not being afraid? xD;;;

I'M A BIT MORE... Calm. I guess you could say. Sorta. 8D;;;

But I thought of something yesterday that bothered me... Dx Like, people say God looks at your heart when you pray and stuff, right...? D: And like, I was all afraid that what with the word popping up in my head in place of "Jesus" and stuff, I was actually... ...um. Not. Praying to God. ...to put it indirectly. xD;;; Andlike, I think I do want to talk to God and stuff, but I'm just sorta bothered 'cause it's like... what if even though I think I want to talk to God, I'm actually subconsciously already... not? ;;;Dx

And that thought sorta freaks me out. ._.;;;

So yeah... D: I dunno, I'm sorta having a hard time... relaxing? Dx I guess, sorta? And it's... bothering me. @o@;;;

Um... yeah. xD;;; Advice... needing once again... maybe? If... there's anything that anyone can say. xD;;;

Thanks again to all who pray and stuff for me. n_n;;; I really appreciate it. <3 'Cause... it's like even if I mess up in my talking with God, it's good to know that people... have got me covered? xD;;;

Um, and sorry if I'm. Being like... annoying and broken record-ish. xD;;;

editediteditedit. : Um... yeah... ;;; Well, I guess to sorta start this out, I got baptized this night. xD;

Um, well, what I wanna add on and stuff is that like, well... I was just wondering and stuff... D: Like, all the other people that got baptized and stuff were all like, "I've believed since I was 4 years old! 8D" and it's like... they've had a lot of time to grow close to God and stuff, right? xD; As for me, I'm a newbie. D: Easter actually. xD; And it's like... I'mma admit, I'm scared and doubtful and lotsa bad feelings at times, but I think... that's sorta one of the reasons why I wanted to get baptized? Like... "Hokay, even if I'm scared and freaked out and not... give-y all-y, I still wanna follow Jesus, and hopefully that stuff'll change. @o@"

Y'know what I mean? xD; I mean... is that wrong of me to do? D: And um... yeah, please pray for me on this. xD;;;

And buh. The reason I sorta... revived this topic was 'cause like, I'm having those bad thought stickies again. D: I mean, they stopped and stuff, and I was doing sorta good for a bit. xD; But like, yesterday they started again. D:

Again with the... bad feelings... and... thinking I'm going to fall away... Dx Everyone's advice from before was very helpful, and I'm keeping them in mind this time around as well, but it'd be osm if you can pray for me~ @o@ [Honestly, I appreciate everyone's responses. <3333]

Um... yeah... thanks all~ xD;

[Scarecrow]

I hate those... "bad thought stickies" lol... never thought it like that before but yea. Interesting... actually, you don't know how happy I am to have read all that you and others posted on the other board. Not that you're having this problem of course but knowing that I'M not the only one who has done that.

Anyway, I'd just recommend praying and being open with Jesus about it. And then just drop it and start talking about something else. When I'm alone, deep in prayer, just praying about whatever, the thoughts disappear. Of course theres the mind wandering around to see if their still there thing but just keep your eyes on Jesus. Oh, if you have any good Christian bands that you really like just get some head phones and plug that into your brain. Just something with some good powerful lyrics that remind you of how much Jesus loves you and is always right there no matter what. Kind of helps force the old garbage out and helps keep your mind focused and stuff. And pray... read the bible... and yea you'll get through it.

And I will pray for you to

[Warrior 4 Jesus]

Oh man, have I been through the same thing. It sucks bigtime but you should realise you wouldn't be concerned/feel guilty about blaspheming against the Holy Spirit if you had done it. God is a God of Love, not fear. He is a God of Justice, but not condemnation. Listen to Scarecrow's words. More importantly listen to God's Word, study it, talk to God honestly. You'll find it so much easier and the fear will lessen.
I'll be praying for you mate.

[Tenshi no Ai]

Hmmm think I get what you mean, and I only have one thing of adviceish thing for you: God looks at the heart, right? So whatever you actually MEANT to say/think is what He'll look it. If it's some random wording you didn't even mean to put in the first place then like... different?^^ Get where I'm going here?

[Jingo Jaden]

I am going to pray for you.

[Bap]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it. n_n Everything that's been said has been helpful. <3~

[Ryupower]

that's the devil right there. I believe it's a demon that needs to be cast out, a 'demon of perversion ' most likely. I'll pray that you'll get rid of it ( CAST IT OUT MAN!!!), because God loves you, and He doesn't want you stuck with those thoughts....

[Bap]

that's the devil right there. I believe it's a demon that needs to be cast out, a 'demon of perversion ' most likely. I'll pray that you'll get rid of it ( CAST IT OUT MAN!!!), because God loves you, and He doesn't want you stuck with those thoughts....

Thank you. n_n

And, um... is... there something... special I have to do to uh.. 'cast it out'? xD;

[Ryupower]

[quote="Bap"]Thank you. n_n

And, um... is... there something... special I have to do to uh.. 'cast it out'? xD]

Luke 9:49-50

Now John answered and said, "Master, we saw someone casting out demons in Your name, and we forbade him because he does not follow with us."

50 But Jesus said to him, "Do not forbid him, for he who is not against us is on our side."
NKJV


Mark 16:17
17 And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons ; they will speak with new tongues;
NKJV


Luke 10:17-20

Then the seventy returned with joy, saying, "Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name."

18 And He said to them, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. 19 Behold, I give you the authority to trample on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you. 20 Nevertheless do not rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rather rejoice because your names are written in heaven."
NKJV

All you have to do is take authority over them in the name of Christ Jesus , and command them to go out. Some are stubborn, - you need to yell at them
and keep on quoting scriptures against the demon and talking about Jesus' blood or the like...

often one sneezes or yawns or something like that. But not always.

[Syreth]

I don't mean to be facetious in the least bit, but generally, it's healthier to focused on the Lord during times like these as opposed to being focused on casting out demons. I already PM'd you some stuff, but don't be discouraged when your thoughts get the best of you. Perhaps you could also read Ephesians 6 in conjuction with 2 Corinthians 10:3-6. I'll pray for you and I hope that this subsides soon.

[Bap]

Okay, thank you all very much. n~n I think I'm doing better at the moment. x333

[Yojimbo]

The devil trying to trying to influence and actually possesing is not the same thing. Don't worry about trying to cast out some demon in you, that doesn't seem to be the case with you. You have the Lord and no demon can touch that. Just keep praying, reading the Word, talk about it with a parent/pastor/trusted friend etc.

I think it happens with all Christians at one point or another. I know I've had seemingly random urges to do things like that. Satan is always looking for an opportunity when we lapse in our faith and even when we're strong to get at us. It's just something we have to fight through with our Lord's help.

[Ryupower]

I just know it was a demon by me. I cast it out, and it was gone.

I don't want to get into an argument over this topic ( since I disagree with demons not being able to come upon Christians. This does NOT mean they're under possession. anyways, -I'll shuddup. May the LORD do as He leads you and may You follow Him the way He leads you. There are varying views on this topic depending on a person's personal views and/or domination).

Anyways, I will continue praying for you! ^^
May God bless all of you! ^^

[freerock1]

Lifting you up to the Father, my sister.

Some good things have been said in this thread. I would just add that Galatians 5 tells us that Christ has set us free, and that we must stand firm in that freedom. Satan doesn't want us to live in that freedom, though, and he'll do everything he can to make us doubt it. But that's why we need to get grounded and rooted in God's Word, and to take up the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18 talks more about that). As long as we're on this earth we'll be engaged in a spiritual battle, but we don't have to fall victim to Satan's attacks.

Also, I want to share something that I've been told when Satan has tried to attack me in my own mind... If you weren't doing something good for God, Satan would have no reason to come against you. Satan must truly fear you as a child of God.

[Heart of Sword]

Strangely, I've had the same "Dear Satan..." thing happen to me, too. o___O But I was tired and disoriented, so... >__<

Yeah, I'll pray.

[Bap]

Um... a sorta bump and thanks for everyone who had replied~ @o@ I revived this topic 'cause... I sorta have a prayer request on the same subject? xD; I didn't want to make a new thread since I had one here and all...? xD;;; Um... yeah. @o@ I edited the first post, but for those seeing this thread on this page, and this post... here's the edit here as well:

"Um... yeah... ;;; Well, I guess to sorta start this out, I got baptized this night. xD;

Um, well, what I wanna add on and stuff is that like, well... I was just wondering and stuff... D: Like, all the other people that got baptized and stuff were all like, "I've believed since I was 4 years old! 8D" and it's like... they've had a lot of time to grow close to God and stuff, right? xD; As for me, I'm a newbie. D: Easter actually. xD; And it's like... I'mma admit, I'm scared and doubtful and lotsa bad feelings at times, but I think... that's sorta one of the reasons why I wanted to get baptized? Like... "Hokay, even if I'm scared and freaked out and not... give-y all-y, I still wanna follow Jesus, and hopefully that stuff'll change. @o@"

Y'know what I mean? xD; I mean... is that wrong of me to do? D: And um... yeah, please pray for me on this. xD;;;

And buh. The reason I sorta... revived this topic was 'cause like, I'm having those bad thought stickies again. D: I mean, they stopped and stuff, and I was doing sorta good for a bit. xD; But like, yesterday they started again. D:

Again with the... bad feelings... and... thinking I'm going to fall away... Dx Everyone's advice from before was very helpful, and I'm keeping them in mind this time around as well, but it'd be osm if you can pray for me~ @o@ [Honestly, I appreciate everyone's responses. <3333]

Um... yeah... thanks all~ xD;"

[SP1]

Although we hear alot about Christians who have that big baptismal experience of conversion, in my experience it comes over time. My faith is way stronger now than when I was saved. For me, my connection with Christ started improving a lot when I started to "do" stuff (outreach and ministerial programs...feed the homeless, etc.). Doing these sorts of things keeps you in the Christian fellowship loop. Join a youth group and start working at your church. You still might have bad thoughts, us being human, but you'll be more assured that they are just thoughts, and you salvation is secure.

[Bap]

Okay, thank you~ 8D~!

[mai]

I'll pray for you.
Could you look at the link in my signiture? the one about worrying.

[Chu-Chu]

Hey, I'll be praying for you!

[Destroyer2000]

I have gone through a time where the CAA ehlped me out, as well. Iw as doubting my faith, doubting my salvation, wondering if I could ever be saved or if I had reached a point of no return where there was no returning to Christ. I had started to have those thoughts once more...until I came to this thread. God uses people in ways you can't imagine, and rest assured that your struggles reminded me of mine and their outcome, and how God is always there. Take this advice: Pray, talk to God, and study. If you were to the point of no return, you wouldn't be worried about it - you would not care. My pastor told me that a woman came to him one time crying that she couldn't feel God talking to her, that she was to the point of no return - unsavable. I don't think that's true, since she was afraid.

[Bap]

I'll pray for you.
Could you look at the link in my signiture? the one about worrying.

Okay. o:

And thanks all for your prayers and advice. <333

[Bap]

Um... I guess. This could be like. ....A status report? xD;;; That's. My messed up wording way of putting it, I guess. xD;;;

I think... I'm sorta doing better. D: ...maybe. ._.; It's like, when the "Satan" word pops up in my head, I don't get all weird and panicky, and I just... sorta wave it off? D: I'm not sure if that's a good thing though. xD; 'Cause like... I'm afraid of not being afraid? xD;;;

I'M A BIT MORE... Calm. I guess you could say. Sorta. 8D;;;

But I thought of something yesterday that bothered me... Dx Like, people say God looks at your heart when you pray and stuff, right...? D: And like, I was all afraid that what with the word popping up in my head in place of "Jesus" and stuff, I was actually... ...um. Not. Praying to God. ...to put it indirectly. xD;;; Andlike, I think I do want to talk to God and stuff, but I'm just sorta bothered 'cause it's like... what if even though I think I want to talk to God, I'm actually subconsciously already... not? ;;;Dx

And that thought sorta freaks me out. ._.;;;

So yeah... D: I dunno, I'm sorta having a hard time... relaxing? Dx I guess, sorta? And it's... bothering me. @o@;;;

Um... yeah. xD;;; Advice... needing once again... maybe? If... there's anything that anyone can say. xD;;;

Thanks again to all who pray and stuff for me. n_n;;; I really appreciate it. <3 'Cause... it's like even if I mess up in my talking with God, it's good to know that people... have got me covered? xD;;;

Um, and sorry if I'm. Being like... annoying and broken record-ish. xD;;;

[Destroyer2000]

No, I know how it is. Like I said, I still struggle with my own problems from tiem to time. We all do.

[Bap]

No, I know how it is. Like I said, I still struggle with my own problems from tiem to time. We all do.

@o@... Thank you. n_n It's good to know that one's not alone and stuff. xD;

[Bap]

EDITEDITEDIT. 8DD As of 11.08.06: (Omigosh, this is a pretty long read, but I'd honestly appreciate it soooo much if you'd stick with me to the end. ._.;;;)

Okay, well, ummm... I guess, just to sorta. Sticky an update on another thing I want prayer on... xD;;; I'm doing better, I think. @o@;;; The problem's... sorta faded away? It's still there though... just not as badly, I guess you could say. xD;;;

But, um. About two days ago, another problem sorta. Appeared. xD;;;

Um, well. Just, to uh... start this off, I guess... I like, RP a lot, and stuff, y'know? So, I like, imaginate RPs and stuff and stories and whatnot throughout the day, yar? o: And, well, about two days ago, I was doing this while I was like. Half-awake? And like... I guess just to say, maybe... I'm taking this too seriously, 'cause it was done in sorta a comical fashion, but I was just imagining and like, one of my characters was all, "I'm a Satanist~ O:<~" and... yeah. xD;;; They did it in like... a sorta anime style goofy scene way, right? xD;;; With wavy fingers and the whole gloom background. D: And well, yeah. xD;;; I was half-conscious and stuff, so it was probably a brain fart on my part. @_@;;; [Edit: Just to clarify, I think what happened was that like... the thought stickies I've been having, sorta like... merged with my imaginating while I was half-conscious. xD;;; Y'know how like, when you think when you're like, half-asleep, your mind wanders off on its own? xD;; Something like that, I think. D:]

And if isn't implied... none of my characters are Satanist. xDD;;; Like, I had made a world for me and my friends' characters and stuff, and there isn't even any religion or any of that in the world. D: So basically, they don't have any religious affiliation at all. xD;;;

And, um. I guess you can see why it sorta bothers me? But like, something that bothers me just as much is that it isn't true, yet I'm still bothered by it. D:

And, well, I think I'm... getting a little better. Like, before, I couldn't really... get comfortable and relax, and get into character and stuff? D: And, well, it's like... that word, it keeps lingering in the back of my mind, and what happens is that I'm reading like, a manga or something, or just doing something in general, and that word is there lingering in the back of my mind, and it feels like I'm... calling them that. >_>;;; Even something like. A hairbrush or something. xDD;;;

Soyeah, it's pretty bothersome. D:

And well, right now... I really want to just like, let it go, and be comfortable, and stuff, you know? But there's this part of my brain that's all, "Noooo, if you let it go, then that just means you're getting comfortable with the bad thought, and you're just saying it's true. ):" But then there's the part of me that wants to just let it go that says, "Dude, it's not true. Dx You're just freaking out over something that's not even true. xD;;;"

And then my paranoid side of the brain is all, "What if it was true? And you just don't know? ):" And it's like, "...How would I not know if it were true or not? D:" "...I dunno, just maybe. u_u"

I mean, there's not even any religion in this world. xDD;;;

And I think another thing why it bothers me is not so much I'm afraid of believing it... maybe. xD;; But just the fact that that word is lingering in the back of my mind? So, once again, it's like... a part of my head is all, "If you just forget about the word then it'll be alright. 8D" And then there's the paranoid part that's all... "NOOOO. KEEPING THAT WORD IN MIND IS WHAT'S KEEPING YOU FROM THINKING IT'S TRUE. IF YOU FORGET IT, IT JUST MEANS IT'S GONE FROM YOUR CONSCIOUS MIND, BUT YOU'RE UNCONSCIOUSLY RECOGNIZING IT."

...and, yeah. .____.;;; Do you see why I'm bothered? xD;;; So, what I'm wondering is... what should I do? D: Should I just forget it, and let it go, and relax and get comfortable and stuff? Or should I keep holding onto it? ._.;;; I mean, either way it's... sorta uncomfortable. xD;;;

I think another problem is, I have a hard time believing myself. xD;;; It's like, even though I say, "Durh-hur. It's not true. >_>;" there's always that, "WHAT IF..." part of my head, y'know? xD;;;

And another problem (lotsa problems, I'm sorry. xD;;; .____.;;;) is that... it's like, I keep dwelling and lingering on this thought, trying to just make it go away, and make everything go back to normal before all this happened, and like... I just don't feel like doing stuff. ._.;;; Like, homework, and just stuff in general, 'cause like... that stuff makes me forget it, and then there's that, "NO, DON'T FORGET." part of my head. ._.;;; And like, I sorta. Droodle and stuff a bit, and my RP is a lot of inspiration for my doodles. xD;;; so, yeah... .__.;;;

Basically, to sorta sum up, what should I do? Forget...? Linger...? Something else...? xD;;; It'd be soooo great if you could have encouragement and stuff for me, and of course pray for me. .___.;;;

Um... yeah... xD;;; I'm sorry this was so long, I have a tendency to ramble. xDD;;;