Well... how to start. @o@a I... worry a lot. Like... a lot lot. And I find myself worrying quite a bit when it comes to Christianity. u_u Like I don't feel like I'm doing enough to spread God's word, and I'm afraid that every single thing I do is going to make God mad at me or like... offend him or something. o_x;
And like, I know that Jesus died on the cross fer us and stuff, but I don't like... feel it? xD; Like... feel all fired up and passionated about it I guess.. or something like that. ;Dx Sorry, it's kinda hard to explain, so I'll hope you understand what I mean. xD;
And like, I've prayed outloud that he saved us and asked him to save me.. I've... done it several times actually. xD; And like... recently. I didn't accept him a long time ago, I think... around Easter I was actually at a really bad point, where the worrying and fearing really got at me, so I prayed that then... and I've done it a coupla times afterwards... But I still dun feel anyfin'. u_u; Like, seriously... nuffin'. D: When I read ze verses about how God loves us and etc, those make me happy. ^-^ [I like Romans 8:38-39 a lot. xD;;] But then I read verses about how people who don't give their all are kinda... well, doomed. ;-;
And well, worrying leads to being scared. u_u So I'm kinda this smorgasboard of worrying and fearing and bad feelings in general. Dx
And I wanna feel happy, positive feelings, and feel strong faith in God [Yeah, my faith is still shaky. ;-;] and etc. u_u And feel secure with teh whole salvation t'ing and with mehself.
Annnd... yeh. Dx it'd be cool if you could pray for meh. :3 [If you have advice or anyfin' to give, please do~ 8D Advice... is good. xD;]
Edit: Okay, so, I think I might've narrowed down one of the things I'm worried about. [Another thing rather. xD;]
But before I say this, I think I might want to say that I'm an incredibly paranoid person. u_u;
Like... one time I seriously thought I had rabies and I was going to die. ._.; Started to cry from fear a bit. xD;
And the thing about that is...
I knew I didn't even get bitten by anything. u_u;;;;
So the thing I think I'm worried about is anime/manga. @_x; Like... "What if it's bad? Dx What if I'm not supposed to!? DD:" And... I try to reason with myself. That... it isn't bad and stuff, but it doesn't seem to be working. >_>; But... as you can probably see from my story, I'm not a very logical person anyway. u_u
And I think I'm kinda scared 'cause I want to keep on watching anime and reading manga and etc [been doing it for... a really long time. xD;] but there's this worry-ness and it just makes me wonder if I'm not suppose to anymore, or if it's just me being a paranoid freak. u_u;;;
Worrying all the time just ruins the manga reading experience. Dx
Umm, yeah. Keep on praying for me please. xD; And again, advice is good, and I appreciate all the advice I've gotten so far. :333 [I'd really like it if someone could address this whole anime/manga thing. ;o; 'Tis been bothering me all day. Dx]