Open mouth, insert foot, tell funny story later

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Open mouth, insert foot, tell funny story later

Postby Ashley » Mon Jan 05, 2004 5:59 pm

Here was my embarrassing moment of the day...
Chris (my brother) and I were walking around in the mall and we stopped in at one of his favorite shops, the Buckle. I didn't have much business there, so I just followed him around. One of the clerks noticed a verse on the back of my letterman's jacket and asked me to recite it for him. That lead to about 20 minutes worth of discussion--turns out he was going to college here locally and wanted to be a missionary and told me how awesome it was to run into such an openly Christian teenager. Needless to say, I got a little flush...guys never stop me to talk, much less compliment! Of course, a little later in the conversation, we mention clothes and he says something like "yeah, my wife has a hard time finding the right shoes" or something of that nature. My heart fell faster than a skinny kid in dodgeball. Then I really started to blush...I had unwittingly been flirting with a married man!

Anyone else got any funny/embarrasing stories to tell?
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Postby Nia-chan » Mon Jan 05, 2004 6:15 pm

When I was in seventh grade and had A/B scheduling (hope you all know what that is) I went to one of my classes twice in a row. Two days later, my teacher was like, "Where were you?" It was kind of embarrassing.
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Postby Nia-chan » Mon Jan 05, 2004 6:20 pm

Hey Ashley, about how old was that guy?
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Postby andyroo » Mon Jan 05, 2004 6:20 pm

Hmm. Here's one I wrote up for school. I think it might be funny. Here it is:

There are many different ways to learn and gain understanding. What I learned was a lesson long to be remembered. I have many things I learned from one event.

I was living in Augusta, Georgia, my hometown, in the year 1995. I had invited a friend over to play. We played inside and outside some of the afternoon. Only my dad was there inside the house reading or maybe even watching television. After a while we got bored and my friend had encouraged me to get out some matches from my dad's car. We lit each one, but the cool breeze kept on blowing the matches out. So we decided to get a lighter out of the car. This friend of mine came up with the brilliant idea of putting some dry grass in a nice car tire. We were doing this under a plant of some kind. So we proceeded to light the grass with the lighter.

The fire started out nice and small for awhile and only for a while. We then added more straw to the already small fire. It was soon enough that the fire started to grow bigger. As it began to grow bigger and bigger, my friend and I quickly became nervous about the situation and scooped up dirt in a vain attempt to smother the fire.

One of us went to get my dad to help us put it out. When he came out he became nervous as well and very ticked which was understandable as there was a nice little bonfire right in his very own backyard. The three of us went to connect our water hoses together, but they weren't long enough. There had to be an alternate way of putting out the fire. My dad thought of using water filled buckets to bring to the location of the fire. We each took a bucket that we filled with water and poured the water on the fire. It wasn't too long after going through many rounds that the fire had been successfully put out.

My dad brought us inside and gave us â€
"As vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes, so is a sluggard to those who send him." ~Proverbs 10:26
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Postby Ashley » Mon Jan 05, 2004 6:31 pm

lol, poor Andy...I set grass on fire with my glasses once...oops.

Nia, he was like...hmm, I dunno, maybe 19 or 20 or so.

Here's another great one from the Ash files...when I was a sophomore, I had a huge crush on this guy named Nick. Well, I worked up the nerve to ask Nick to sit at my table at lunch and he said sure. Well I got so nervous being around him not only did I spill my water bottle everywhere, I ended up through mysterious circumstances flinging my orthodonic rubber bands into his salad. :wow!:
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Postby Michael » Mon Jan 05, 2004 6:32 pm

I once introduced myself to a guy as 'X's Sister'. (X being my sister)

Another funny one: (Sadly this didn't happen to me)
So this D Squadron sqauddy gets to his barracks after a long party. It's dark and he gets in bed, 10 seconds later a light comes on and he's facing a poster of Jenny Crawford. He doesn't like J. Crawford. A minute later he's running for his life from a C squadron barrack.
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Postby Azier the Swordsman » Mon Jan 05, 2004 7:37 pm

Ashley wrote:Here was my embarrassing moment of the day...
Chris (my brother) and I were walking around in the mall and we stopped in at one of his favorite shops, the Buckle. I didn't have much business there, so I just followed him around. One of the clerks noticed a verse on the back of my letterman's jacket and asked me to recite it for him. That lead to about 20 minutes worth of discussion--turns out he was going to college here locally and wanted to be a missionary and told me how awesome it was to run into such an openly Christian teenager. Needless to say, I got a little flush...guys never stop me to talk, much less compliment! Of course, a little later in the conversation, we mention clothes and he says something like "yeah, my wife has a hard time finding the right shoes" or something of that nature. My heart fell faster than a skinny kid in dodgeball. Then I really started to blush...I had unwittingly been flirting with a married man!

Anyone else got any funny/embarrasing stories to tell?



Heheh... while I don't personally have any interest in dating at the time being... I've already gone through similar stories like this with girls. :red: :lol:
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Postby Mr. Rogers » Mon Jan 05, 2004 8:05 pm

Ashley wrote:...when I was a sophomore, I had a huge crush on this guy named Nick. Well, I worked up the nerve to ask Nick to sit at my table at lunch and he said sure. Well I got so nervous being around him not only did I spill my water bottle everywhere, I ended up through mysterious circumstances flinging my orthodonic rubber bands into his salad. :wow!:


:lol:
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Postby Fsiphskilm » Mon Jan 05, 2004 8:16 pm

LOL, Well it's not your
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Postby Retten » Mon Jan 05, 2004 8:20 pm

Ashley wrote:Here's another great one from the Ash files...when I was a sophomore, I had a huge crush on this guy named Nick. Well, I worked up the nerve to ask Nick to sit at my table at lunch and he said sure. Well I got so nervous being around him not only did I spill my water bottle everywhere, I ended up through mysterious circumstances flinging my orthodonic rubber bands into his salad. :wow!:


:lol: well at least the guy has a healthy taste in salads
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Postby andyroo » Mon Jan 05, 2004 8:24 pm

I set grass on fire with my glasses once
I've had friends show me how to do this on a school field trip with a magnifying glass and napkin. I was trying it out in some McDonalds restraunt, during the field trip, until both got snatched up by one of the teachers. It is safe to say the napkin didn't light up.
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Postby Locke » Mon Jan 05, 2004 8:36 pm

hmmm

tutoring 4th graders takes its toll!!!

last day of school before winter brake and get late out of tutoring and get to math right when it ends!

actualy thats good!
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Postby Icarus » Mon Jan 05, 2004 10:08 pm

Lesson learned the hard way. (I feel like DC Talk.)

Anyway, the summer after I turned 15, one of the 4-h clubs I was in at the time held a pool party. There was the pool, a hot tub, a small water slide, and 2 girls in swimsuits.

I had been going down the slide pretty much all day, getting out of the pool, climbing the ladder, going down the half turn. Towards the end of the day, I had a brilliant idea. Back up the slide. I set about doing so, and was nearing the top when the kid behind me gave me a slight push, starting me down the slide. I did not want to do that just yet. I conceived a plan. If I went over the side of the slide just after the turn begins, I could land by the side of the pool, look cool, and impress the ladies.

Can anyone see this coming?

I went over the side, and prepared for a three point landing. There was one slight problem. The concrete. It was wet. As I said, three point landing, looking smooth for the young ladies. My foot slipped, and I went down like a side of beef. Doubtless, I had their attention, just not the way I'd hoped.
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Lesson learned: Trying to impress girls can be painful.

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Postby cbwing0 » Tue Jan 06, 2004 6:28 am

Ashley wrote:I had unwittingly been flirting with a married man!


I have unwittingly flirted with married women before (once or twice). I suppose the most embarrassing was at a Christian event, when the female in question was one of the speakers at the event. She came to sit by us, and it went downhill from there.

I've done more than a few embarrassing things in my time:

1.We went to the local roller rink one day in gym class, and I didn't bring my skates]I've had friends show me how to do this on a school field trip with a magnifying glass and napkin.[/quote]

I've done this many times (it was my favorite pastime in the 5th grade), although I never go in trouble for it. I also used to shoot bugs with my bb gun...now that takes skill. :lol:
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Postby Michael » Tue Jan 06, 2004 1:02 pm

<Lesson learned: Trying to impress girls can be painful.>

Amen man, amen.

I never flirt, is it fun?
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Postby VashTheStampede » Tue Jan 06, 2004 1:10 pm

Embarrasing moment of the day was just a few hours ago. I was at my college financial aid office and I was asking a question, and I was just thinking out loud at the same time, haha. I stuttered SO much, and I don't usually stutter, lol, but the poor girl at the counter must have thought I was in rehab for cocaine addiction! :lol: yea, I stuttered pretty bad. But well, that was it for today.
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Postby ShiroiHikari » Tue Jan 06, 2004 4:44 pm

LOL Vash, your story dredged one of my psuedo-old memories up from the depths :p

This one time last year, I went to turn in an application at Movie Gallery, and I had no idea they were going to interview me right then and there o.O So they started asking questions that only got worse before the end, questions like "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I was like "Um. Well. Uh. Uh. Uh. Next question....?" Needless to say, they never called me back. ._____.;

Also, there was that one time somebody here mentioned Steve Taylor and I thought it said "James Taylor". :red: Or the time I was trying to post a link to a thread and accidentally posted a link to somebody's profile. :hits_self Yeah, I do a lot of dumb stuff. :shake:
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Tue Jan 06, 2004 6:57 pm

I still can't believe Ashley is only a teen ager. :wow!: I thought she was in her 20s. :lol:

I do so many dumb things and forget so much there's too many stories to tell. Flirting with married men? I don't think I have... uh, no... humm a married man just walked in my office and I definitely flirted with him. ;)

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beyond the fog I hide behind.

You cast your light upon the shadows

that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.

You ease the pain when I am hurting,

and morbid visions from my past

pierce into the realm of Reason

as though I danced on blades of glass.

You grant me strength when I have fallen

and, once again, I've lost my way.

You take my hand in Yours and lead me

into the promise of a brand new day.

You bring order to all my chaos,

yet set my well-laid plans awry.

You place me on a firm foundation ---

then give me wings so I can fly.

You sand away my roughened edges

and polish all the dullest parts

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a newly-sculpted work of art.

You see into the heart within me,

right through my motives and selfish will.

And yet, in spite of all You see

You say You love me even still.


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Postby Ashley » Tue Jan 06, 2004 7:50 pm

I still can't believe Ashley is only a teen ager. I thought she was in her 20s.


I'll take that as a compliment, TNC. ^^

You would not believe how many people assume I lie about my age for that reason. I get accused of it all the time. In fact, last week a little boy at a table (I'm a waitress, FYI) asked if he could guess how old I was...his parents said 23. O.o I guess it's because all of my friends are 18/19/20+

Unfortunately..that is not the first time I flirted with someone already taken. :red: Like I said, as a waitress, you get kinda chatty with tables on a slow night...yeah, similiar situation...also married dude. :stressed:
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Postby andyroo » Tue Jan 06, 2004 8:13 pm

While were talking about such things (not flirting though)... You may not know this, but I have a great fear of purses especially the duffle bag sized ones. Now this was last year that this happened. I was on my way to lunch at school and was walking with some of my friends. We we just about reached the lunch room when I noticed some girl's jacket and had to comment on it. It was an ash-grey nit sweater more or less. I said that she looked like a peasent in it. Well it did have the soot. She was like, "What?!" All of a sudden I heard a voice behind me, "For your information that is my jacket," And this girl had a purse just as big as the other and could hit someone harder if she put her weight into a swing. So to get me out of the situation I said that only the other girl looked like a peasent in it. Which dug my hole even deeper because I still wasn't off the hook with the first girl. So the next thing I know it I have purse lunged in my side. One of my friends who was with me said- well I can't remember. Life went on.
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Postby Locke » Tue Jan 06, 2004 8:24 pm

cbwing0 wrote:
I've done this many times (it was my favorite pastime in the 5th grade), although I never go in trouble for it. I also used to shoot bugs with my bb gun...now that takes skill. :lol:




never look into the glass!! every were i looked i saw purple!! Ah!!!!!!!!


BARNEY VIVISON!!!!!!!!!!! :?:

U HAVE A BB GUN?
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Postby EireWolf » Wed Jan 07, 2004 6:51 pm

:lol: These are all so hilarious! (Isn't it wrong to laugh at the misfortunes of others?) :lol:

As for me, I never do anything embarrasing. Nope, not me. Never. *looks around, whistling*
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Postby TheMelodyMaker » Wed Jan 07, 2004 8:03 pm

It seems like no matter how hard I try, I just cannot avoid asking my customers at least once a day if they would like "a milk for their bag". (At least, by the Lord's good mercy, they usually understand what I mean.) :blush:
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Postby Azier the Swordsman » Wed Jan 07, 2004 8:32 pm

TheMelodyMaker wrote:It seems like no matter how hard I try, I just cannot avoid asking my customers at least once a day if they would like "a milk for their bag". (At least, by the Lord's good mercy, they usually understand what I mean.) :blush:



At my work place the checkers are always supposed to ask the customer if they would like to use their 'remarkable' card to save money. My co-worker one day accidently asked a customer if he would like to use his remarkable bag. :lol:
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Postby Gypsy » Wed Jan 07, 2004 9:31 pm

EireWolf wrote::lol: These are all so hilarious! (Isn't it wrong to laugh at the misfortunes of others?) :lol:

If it is, we're both in trouble! :sweat:
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Postby mechana2015 » Thu Jan 08, 2004 12:05 am

"I was in our medical center at our school (I had been sick) and I had just left a check up in which I had said I was feeling better. I got in line to make my final appointment where they say I'm done being sick (a couple days later) and felt relieved to be leaving the med center on time. I walked up to the lady at the counter and handed her my slip that said I needed a check up, then suddenly noticed that I felt...strange.:dizzy: I told her I needed to sit down for a little while, and headed for chairs after she voiced her approval.
I woke up on the ground facing the opposite direction that I was traveling before hand to the voice of a person saying 'sir sir are you all right?'.:eyebrow:
I rolled over to see about 10 complete strangers staring at me.
12 stitches and an hour and a half later than expected I was on my way to class, after discovering that I had hit the chair that I had been walking to.:forehead:
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Postby Michael » Thu Jan 08, 2004 1:04 pm

<"I was in our medical center at our school (I had been sick) and I had just left a check up in which I had said I was feeling better. I got in line to make my final appointment where they say I'm done being sick (a couple days later) and felt relieved to be leaving the med center on time. I walked up to the lady at the counter and handed her my slip that said I needed a check up, then suddenly noticed that I felt...strange. I told her I needed to sit down for a little while, and headed for chairs after she voiced her approval.
I woke up on the ground facing the opposite direction that I was traveling before hand to the voice of a person saying 'sir sir are you all right?'.
I rolled over to see about 10 complete strangers staring at me.
12 stitches and an hour and a half later than expected I was on my way to class, after discovering that I had hit the chair that I had been walking to.>

LOL! That's great! Don't you hate it when stuff like that happens?
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Postby Rachel » Fri Jan 09, 2004 5:13 pm

i myself never do anything embarassing but i can tell y'all all kinds of embarassing stories about jonny if y'all want to hear them. that story about the 4-h meeting is only one of many, although i must say i had no idea that trying to impress the girls is what he was trying to do.
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Postby Locke » Fri Jan 09, 2004 5:17 pm

If you cant laugh at your own misfortune, whos misfortune are you gonna laff at?
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Postby EireWolf » Fri Jan 09, 2004 8:28 pm

kenshin1278 wrote:If you cant laugh at your own misfortune, whos misfortune are you gonna laff at?


Other people's, of course! :thumb: :lol:
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