Well more like broken a promise... i had promised God i would not date until he revealed my future husband but i didnt keep it last night a guy i like ALOT told me he liked me alot and well... yeah you know how it goes.
i have already been yelled at today by my friend Windi and i fell bad but i do really like him and he is a good guy infact before he asks me out acctually he is going ot talk to my dad and grandma seeing how we are four years of age difference i am worried that God is going to be mad at me now and i really was going to not date REALLY... but then... i dont know i hate this i mean i really really like the guy BUT i really want to do what i said but i dont know i mean i dont want to make him sad and i dont want to break up our friendship we have established i want to tell him desperatly that i need to keep this promise but we are kinda allready dating I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO and i only have 1 week until he comes up here to acctually meet my grandma PLEASE TELL ME WAT I SHOULD TELL HIM i really do like him and i know you guys have good advice so please!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And please pray!
I have made a mistake...
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Artist4Jesus89 - Posts: 550
- Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 9:00 am
- Location: In a world with evil all around me :(
Okay he just called me ... i told him my dilemma and to my suprise he replied "if we are meant to be then i will wait for you" but please pray that i make the right decision and for guidence.
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Artist4Jesus89 - Posts: 550
- Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 9:00 am
- Location: In a world with evil all around me :(
If God reveals who your future husband is, then you will know for certain. And it's not a "gut feeling" or anything.
Listen, if its a 4 year difference, hes 20 and your 16. I'm sorry but no 16 year old knows how to date. I don't care what anybody has to say. Having feelings is one thing, acting upon is another. I hope I don't sound antagonizing, but please please please don't take anything too far or fast. Feelings for people come and go.
If he is willing to wait for you, that's a good thing. As of now, I say definately wait. And I don't mean like months. I mean years, like 4. Just be real good friends with him I say.
I don't know what condition youre in, or what he's in. So I can't make a solid judgement, but I will pray for you.
Listen, if its a 4 year difference, hes 20 and your 16. I'm sorry but no 16 year old knows how to date. I don't care what anybody has to say. Having feelings is one thing, acting upon is another. I hope I don't sound antagonizing, but please please please don't take anything too far or fast. Feelings for people come and go.
If he is willing to wait for you, that's a good thing. As of now, I say definately wait. And I don't mean like months. I mean years, like 4. Just be real good friends with him I say.
I don't know what condition youre in, or what he's in. So I can't make a solid judgement, but I will pray for you.
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Mr. SmartyPants - Posts: 12541
- Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 9:00 am
I hate to say it, MA4J, but you have put yourself in a really difficult situation. Promises made to God should be kept, no question about it. However, at the same time the promise you made to Him limits your ability to find your future husband. Dating is simply a way of meeting people and doing things with them to find out what they are like, so saying that you won't date until you know your husband is like saying you won't start looking at colleges until you know which college God wants you to go to. I would suggest you talk to your parents and/or a pastor about your situation. They will likely be able to help you much more than your friends will be able to.
And another thing, your friend should not be yelling at you about this. Yes, you made a promise to God and you broke it, but it sounds like the situation was inevitable and unintentional. You got to know a guy, started to like him, and wanted to do things with him, but God hasn't yet shown you exactly who you should marry. That is normal and perfectly acceptable, the only problem here is that you told God you wouldn't proceed down this normal path. You should understand that this doesn't make you a bad person, just someone dealing with the God-given attraction to people of the opposite sex. I would urge you again to get advice from a pastor and/or your parents, becuase yelling at you about this won't help you or solve your problems. I pray that God give you wisdom and guidance about this.
And another thing, your friend should not be yelling at you about this. Yes, you made a promise to God and you broke it, but it sounds like the situation was inevitable and unintentional. You got to know a guy, started to like him, and wanted to do things with him, but God hasn't yet shown you exactly who you should marry. That is normal and perfectly acceptable, the only problem here is that you told God you wouldn't proceed down this normal path. You should understand that this doesn't make you a bad person, just someone dealing with the God-given attraction to people of the opposite sex. I would urge you again to get advice from a pastor and/or your parents, becuase yelling at you about this won't help you or solve your problems. I pray that God give you wisdom and guidance about this.
"...cease not a day from this work; be killing sin or it will be killing you." - John Owen The Mortification of Sin
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Puritan - Posts: 799
- Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2005 11:26 pm
- Location: The Southeast
Mr. SmartyPants wrote:If God reveals who your future husband is, then you will know for certain. And it's not a "gut feeling" or anything.
Listen, if its a 4 year difference, hes 20 and your 16. I'm sorry but no 16 year old knows how to date. I don't care what anybody has to say. Having feelings is one thing, acting upon is another. I hope I don't sound antagonizing, but please please please don't take anything too far or fast. Feelings for people come and go.
If he is willing to wait for you, that's a good thing. As of now, I say definately wait. And I don't mean like months. I mean years, like 4. Just be real good friends with him I say.
I don't know what condition youre in, or what he's in. So I can't make a solid judgement, but I will pray for you.
*SHRINKS YOU AND USES YOU FOR A CAT TOY* MROW!!! d:3
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Takuya - Posts: 211
- Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2005 9:00 am
- Location: Perhaps another time, another place. Where I am matters not, but who I am.
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Mr. SmartyPants - Posts: 12541
- Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 9:00 am
<_<
I changed it...
DANG THAT WAS FAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heck yea.... look what I underlined... I know you're 16 yourself... but when it comes to me, that's a VERY sensitive subject... I don't like it when people (Even teens) underestimate us teens... in fact... I hate it... <comment snipped by Osaka> And you would do good to avoid doing it (That's not a threat)...
Note from Osaka: MK, this forum is not the place to call down members you disagree with (especially by name)-- for any reason. Please, refrain from these kinds of comments in the future.
I changed it...
DANG THAT WAS FAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heck yea.... look what I underlined... I know you're 16 yourself... but when it comes to me, that's a VERY sensitive subject... I don't like it when people (Even teens) underestimate us teens... in fact... I hate it... <comment snipped by Osaka> And you would do good to avoid doing it (That's not a threat)...
Note from Osaka: MK, this forum is not the place to call down members you disagree with (especially by name)-- for any reason. Please, refrain from these kinds of comments in the future.
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Takuya - Posts: 211
- Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2005 9:00 am
- Location: Perhaps another time, another place. Where I am matters not, but who I am.
Matrix Kage wrote:<_<
I changed it...
DANG THAT WAS FAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heck yea.... look what I underlined... I know you're 16 yourself... but when it comes to me, that's a VERY sensitive subject... I don't like it when people (Even teens) underestimate us teens... in fact... I hate it... <snipped by Osaka>... it's EXTREMELY disrespectful in my eyes. And you would do good to avoid doing it (That's not a threat)...
As someone who was once 16 and has gotten over the condition (
), let me say that I tend to agree with MSP that 16 is too young generally to understand love properly. I look back at myself at 16 and I see that I was really an unformed individual in a lot of ways. The teenage years are very important for the formation of your personality and who you will be as an adult. However, it is still a time of maturing and you are not yet the person you will be eventually. I know that it doesn't seem like that. It didn't to me when I was a teen. But this is the case.
Seeing things in this way is not disrespecting teens. It is recognizing why they are not yet adults. Everyone needs time to mature and there is no shame in that.
MA4J, you have a lot of time to mature and become an adult still. So there is no rush with this guy yet. Take your time and see what happens in two or four years.
Headbangers United
"There is no surer sign of decay in a country than to see the rites of religion held in contempt." - Niccolo Machiavelli
"But even as Josue and Caleb declared that the Land of Promise was good and fair, and that the possession of it would be easy and pleasant; so the Holy Spirit, speaking by all the Saints, and our Blessed Lord Himself assure us that a devout life is a lovely, a pleasant, and a happy life." - from An Introduction to the Devout Life, by St. Francis de Sales
Loyal subject of Sakura-hime, the RP Princess.
CR-chan's faithful PNC.
FF-chan's NiichanB.
"There is no surer sign of decay in a country than to see the rites of religion held in contempt." - Niccolo Machiavelli
"But even as Josue and Caleb declared that the Land of Promise was good and fair, and that the possession of it would be easy and pleasant; so the Holy Spirit, speaking by all the Saints, and our Blessed Lord Himself assure us that a devout life is a lovely, a pleasant, and a happy life." - from An Introduction to the Devout Life, by St. Francis de Sales
Loyal subject of Sakura-hime, the RP Princess.
CR-chan's faithful PNC.
FF-chan's NiichanB.
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Steeltemplar - Posts: 1373
- Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2005 10:32 pm
- Location: United States of Whatever
To me, one issue you have to REALLY think about is this: whether the age of 16 is a reasonable age for a relationship or not, I think there's a bigger issue here. You're a minor. That's a BIG-BIG deal. If you're seroius about this, I'd wait until you're both legal to pursue it.
Furthermore, I would also encourage you to stick to your promise. If God has called you to these standards, nothing good is possibly going to come from going against a command God has given you. Furthermore, maturity is a major asset in a relationship, and a resolve to being as emotionally faithful to your future spouse as possible is really a wonderful thing to do. Being a few years older than you, I can't tell you how incredibly, ecstatically greatful I am to God for giving me the resolve to stick to a vow similar to your vow.
Just a word of advice for one of the ways to make your standards practical: I've chosen that one of the ways I can remain true to that now is by waiting until I'm of a marriable age to date. But that's just a hint from woman to woman.
I'll be praying for you and for you to have wisdom in the situation.
Furthermore, I would also encourage you to stick to your promise. If God has called you to these standards, nothing good is possibly going to come from going against a command God has given you. Furthermore, maturity is a major asset in a relationship, and a resolve to being as emotionally faithful to your future spouse as possible is really a wonderful thing to do. Being a few years older than you, I can't tell you how incredibly, ecstatically greatful I am to God for giving me the resolve to stick to a vow similar to your vow.
Just a word of advice for one of the ways to make your standards practical: I've chosen that one of the ways I can remain true to that now is by waiting until I'm of a marriable age to date. But that's just a hint from woman to woman.
I'll be praying for you and for you to have wisdom in the situation.
Every year in Uganda, innumerable children simply. . . disappear. These children all stolen under the cover of darkness from their homes and impressed into the guerilla armies of the LRA [Lord's Resistance Army]. In the deserts of Uganda, they are forced to witness the mindless slaughter of other children until they themselves can do nothing but kill. Kill. These children, generally ranging from ages 5-12, are brainwashed into murdering in the name of the resistance and into stealing other children from their beds to suffer the same fate.
Because of this genocide of innocence, hundred and hundreds of children live every night sleeping in public places miles from their homes, because they know that if the do not-- they will disappear. They will become just another number in this genocide to which the international community has chosen to turn a blind eye. They will become, in affect, invisible-- Invisible Children.
But there are those who are trying to fight against this slaughter of Uganda's children. They fight to protect these "invisible children." Please, help them help a country full of children who know nothing by fear. Help save the innocence. For more information concerning how you can help and how you can get an incredible video about this horrific reality, visit the Invisible Children home page.
Because of this genocide of innocence, hundred and hundreds of children live every night sleeping in public places miles from their homes, because they know that if the do not-- they will disappear. They will become just another number in this genocide to which the international community has chosen to turn a blind eye. They will become, in affect, invisible-- Invisible Children.
But there are those who are trying to fight against this slaughter of Uganda's children. They fight to protect these "invisible children." Please, help them help a country full of children who know nothing by fear. Help save the innocence. For more information concerning how you can help and how you can get an incredible video about this horrific reality, visit the Invisible Children home page.
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Mangafanatic - Posts: 4918
- Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 5:00 am
- Location: In La-La land.
"Seeing things in this way is not disrespecting teens. It is recognizing why they are not yet adults. Everyone needs time to mature and there is no shame in that."
Acting like a teen CAN'T love IS underestimation and, to me, disrespect and an insult. More than anything else, it IS an insult.
I'm going to post a topic on this elsewhere... I'm sick of people underestimating myself and my bretheren.
As for here, I'll not say anything more on this subject and do not expect to see anyone replying to this post in here. If anything, either wait for my to post my topic, or PM me about it. I would highly perfer the former.
Acting like a teen CAN'T love IS underestimation and, to me, disrespect and an insult. More than anything else, it IS an insult.
I'm going to post a topic on this elsewhere... I'm sick of people underestimating myself and my bretheren.
As for here, I'll not say anything more on this subject and do not expect to see anyone replying to this post in here. If anything, either wait for my to post my topic, or PM me about it. I would highly perfer the former.
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Takuya - Posts: 211
- Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2005 9:00 am
- Location: Perhaps another time, another place. Where I am matters not, but who I am.
I have to agree with Mr. SP and Steel, I just turned 16 yesterday, but all I can say is during your teen years: Grow closer to God, enjoy being single, and try to just be happy with being friends with people.
And what you really didn't pay attention to was the fact that Mr. SmartyPants is 16 also. Sure you mentioned it, but he's a teen too, and he knows what us teens are like.
God tells us in the Bible that he will provide us with a husband/wife. So actually, if we are going out and trying to find our mate, then we are under-estimating God. Therefore, a teen who feels he is wise enough to choose his own wife is actually under-estimating God.
I'm not saying that if you are looking you will find your wrong mate, I'm saying that you need to be looking for the right person. With the right heart toward God.
So if someone tells you something that you don't agree with, they aren't under-estimating you, they are just telling you the facts. And I'm not saying you can't find love as a teen, sure, it's happens sometimes, but more ofter than not, that is not the case.
Manga-Artist-4-Jesus, I would really just pray about it, and if you feel that God is trying to close the door, then let him close it. Just don't keep him from closing the door, then that will be going against God's Will.
Just let God help you find your husband/wife.
Sorry if any of this is being said wrong or anything, it's harder to express yourself and your feelings toward something, online.
And what you really didn't pay attention to was the fact that Mr. SmartyPants is 16 also. Sure you mentioned it, but he's a teen too, and he knows what us teens are like.
God tells us in the Bible that he will provide us with a husband/wife. So actually, if we are going out and trying to find our mate, then we are under-estimating God. Therefore, a teen who feels he is wise enough to choose his own wife is actually under-estimating God.
I'm not saying that if you are looking you will find your wrong mate, I'm saying that you need to be looking for the right person. With the right heart toward God.
So if someone tells you something that you don't agree with, they aren't under-estimating you, they are just telling you the facts. And I'm not saying you can't find love as a teen, sure, it's happens sometimes, but more ofter than not, that is not the case.
Manga-Artist-4-Jesus, I would really just pray about it, and if you feel that God is trying to close the door, then let him close it. Just don't keep him from closing the door, then that will be going against God's Will.
Just let God help you find your husband/wife.
Sorry if any of this is being said wrong or anything, it's harder to express yourself and your feelings toward something, online.
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The Last Bard - Posts: 517
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 3:26 pm
- Location: Kansas
I have to emphasize that the most important thing to do is to talk to your parents. They know your emotional maturity better than we in the forums do, and they will be best suited to determining whether now is the right time for you to start dating or not. There are emotionally mature teens who are ready to date and emotionally immature twenty to thirty year olds who should not be dating, and as you are currently a part of your parent's household they should be the ones to decide if this is the right time for you to start dating. Talking to them and praying about this are the best things you can do.
"...cease not a day from this work; be killing sin or it will be killing you." - John Owen The Mortification of Sin
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Puritan - Posts: 799
- Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2005 11:26 pm
- Location: The Southeast
<Cut by Mithradir: Read my note below>
MK: If you cannot be serious in a serious thread, do not ever post in one again. This is really getting on my nerves. If you have something CONSTRUCTIVE to say, go ahead. Posting "I don't have a response to that" is NOT constructive. I take it you didn't read what was written to you above, did you? Be waiting for a PM from me.
MK: If you cannot be serious in a serious thread, do not ever post in one again. This is really getting on my nerves. If you have something CONSTRUCTIVE to say, go ahead. Posting "I don't have a response to that" is NOT constructive. I take it you didn't read what was written to you above, did you? Be waiting for a PM from me.
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Takuya - Posts: 211
- Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2005 9:00 am
- Location: Perhaps another time, another place. Where I am matters not, but who I am.
<snipped by Mith: Nothing to see here>
yukinon, thank you for asking that. So I didn't know the verse myself, so I went browsing around the internet trying to find the verse, or something I could say to back up what I said.
I suppose I was just thinking that if God knows all, then we shouldn't worry about the one who we think is the "one" and I feel we should just be in prayer about it.
yukinon, thank you for asking that. So I didn't know the verse myself, so I went browsing around the internet trying to find the verse, or something I could say to back up what I said.
I suppose I was just thinking that if God knows all, then we shouldn't worry about the one who we think is the "one" and I feel we should just be in prayer about it.
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The Last Bard - Posts: 517
- Joined: Sun Nov 14, 2004 3:26 pm
- Location: Kansas
I don't think that there's anything wrong with dating... You could find the one who is made for you that way. But if you promised God that you wouldn't date before that time when he does reviel to you, then you have sinned. Best thing you can do is repent and abstain from dating anymore.
Just remember that whatever you do, keep yourself pure. Loosing virginity before marriage will only make things very very hard, trust me.
PS, I agree that a 16 yr old with a 20 year old isn't right. yeah, my gf is 5 years older than me, but you have to understand that there comes an age which the difference becomes accepable. I say that such an age is when the younger one reaches 20, which means that I'm not quite in the right myself. Still, there is no bolded guideline of age that God has set for us. As before stated, when you find the one God made you for, you'll know from the very depths of your being, and that will be hard to ignore. Then will a great blessing be revieled to you, and it will be very sweet. So don't try to rush the process of finding your soulmate; it's worth being patient.
Just remember that whatever you do, keep yourself pure. Loosing virginity before marriage will only make things very very hard, trust me.
PS, I agree that a 16 yr old with a 20 year old isn't right. yeah, my gf is 5 years older than me, but you have to understand that there comes an age which the difference becomes accepable. I say that such an age is when the younger one reaches 20, which means that I'm not quite in the right myself. Still, there is no bolded guideline of age that God has set for us. As before stated, when you find the one God made you for, you'll know from the very depths of your being, and that will be hard to ignore. Then will a great blessing be revieled to you, and it will be very sweet. So don't try to rush the process of finding your soulmate; it's worth being patient.
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Slater - Posts: 2671
- Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 10:00 am
- Location: Pacifica, Caliphornia
I think 16 is too young. I didn't really think about girls much at all until I left school (at 18) yes, late I know.
I realise there are variation of maturity levels between teenagers but in general the whole hormone thing is pretty much the same world-over at that age. From your post I'm gathering that you aren't ready for a relationship of this calibre, but I could be wrong. I think that its best to pray to God about it and see if this may be your future husband.
I realise there are variation of maturity levels between teenagers but in general the whole hormone thing is pretty much the same world-over at that age. From your post I'm gathering that you aren't ready for a relationship of this calibre, but I could be wrong. I think that its best to pray to God about it and see if this may be your future husband.
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Warrior 4 Jesus - Posts: 4844
- Joined: Tue Sep 07, 2004 10:52 pm
- Location: The driest continent that isn't Antarctica.
Slater wrote:I don't think that there's anything wrong with dating... You could find the one who is made for you that way. But if you promised God that you wouldn't date before that time when he does reviel to you, then you have sinned. Best thing you can do is repent and abstain from dating anymore.
Ok that flippin helped me make my decision somehow i was reading it considering all of them weighing to pros and cons yet i thought it would be okay so i told him we could but then when i read this something clicked i didnt realize it and well i have broken this promise before but what am i supposed to do now do you think God will be really mad at me will he make me start all over again?
I asked my gma about me and him and she said no the age and also told me to talk to my dad... i havent but he will say no and in a way i think i may be happy but still do like him and we are talking right now ...
Heather: no i didnt want to make her upset and the promise thing is the main reason
Nathan Rich: what if the promises wasnt made? what would she have said
Heather: she probly would say yes
Nathan Rich: awww
Heather: i know
Nathan Rich: how long do you have left on the promise?
Heather: until God tells me ...
Heather: who im supposed to marry
Nathan Rich: lol is ti me? lol
Heather: i dont know but If God says so ...
Nathan Rich: Ill wanna wait for you.
Heather:
Nathan Rich:
Heather: thats good but within the next few years u may meet somone else...
Heather:
Nathan Rich: or in the next few years, it might be me.....and yeah....maybe, yeah we will be together
Heather: that is true... so in order for us to find that out we both need to pray about it and listen to w/e God says
Nathan Rich: yeah...
Nathan Rich: I know I wish we could be together
Heather: me too
Nathan Rich: I guess if waiting for you is what I gotta do, then I guess its what I gotta do
Heather: but still im worried u will meet someone else...
Nathan Rich: i dont think I meet smoeone that I enjoy being with as much as you
Heather: well you never know
Nathan Rich: Heather, I really like you alot, and when I say I like you alot. I mean I like you enough to wonder if your the one for me that I could end up spending my life with, the one who I can start goign to church with...the one who helps me get back on my feet. I know you were at lest but here for me for that
Heather:
Nathan Rich: I really mean that
Heather: i feel like u could be the one too...
Heather: still if i dont know for sure...
Heather:
Nathan Rich: and I'd love it if I was. I really would, I just feel this connection with you like never befor, and my gosh, your like hte perfect girl for me, I know for a fact I could get back to church with you makeing me go lol
Nathan Rich: I know Heather
so yeah that is basically yeah it.
I am thanking God that my gma did say no cause it makes it better for the both of us and probly easier and i do adimt that i am not ready for a relationship its just to hard when almost all of my friends have BFs
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Artist4Jesus89 - Posts: 550
- Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 9:00 am
- Location: In a world with evil all around me :(
Don't just have a boyfriend because almost all your friends do. That's just superfical and won't last. Build your relationship of the foundation of Jesus, if he's blessed it.
The age differences between the two of you are quite vast but then again I've got a friend who is a girl and she's 15 and is going out with a 23 year old. But she is very mature for her age. I don't know. I really don't... I've never had a girlfriend. But I think taking this cause for concern to God is the ultimate choice and also asking trusted family and friends what they think. And respect what they say. Because they are likely to have your best interests in mind.
God Bless!
The age differences between the two of you are quite vast but then again I've got a friend who is a girl and she's 15 and is going out with a 23 year old. But she is very mature for her age. I don't know. I really don't... I've never had a girlfriend. But I think taking this cause for concern to God is the ultimate choice and also asking trusted family and friends what they think. And respect what they say. Because they are likely to have your best interests in mind.
God Bless!
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Warrior 4 Jesus - Posts: 4844
- Joined: Tue Sep 07, 2004 10:52 pm
- Location: The driest continent that isn't Antarctica.
have a ? i have no idea what the word is but like just get to know each other be best friends and when the time comes and you each still feel the same get back to gether i am shure everyone else has said what I have so far so I will just pray for you and dont get a boyfriends just cause everyone else does that is stupid trust me my friends are sort of like that but ya I will pray for you sorryfor the long stupid post.well stupid post.
The Lord my God Rarely works the same way twice but the out come is always the same.[/SIZE]
C. S. Lewis is such a great writer. I have read his Screwtape Letters, his Great Divorce, and am no working on his Mere Christianity.
C. S. Lewis is such a great writer. I have read his Screwtape Letters, his Great Divorce, and am no working on his Mere Christianity.
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Rambo - Posts: 113
- Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2005 11:21 am
- Location: Indiana
Manga_Artist_4_Jesus wrote:(...)what am i supposed to do now do you think God will be really mad at me will he make me start all over again?
Most certainly not. Reinforcing a broken promise to God is ok, and I'll wager that He likes that. God can tell that you are willing to take this promise seriously even if you boned up once. That's what forgiveness is all about. If you ask God to forgive you for this, He will forgive you, and you will be blessed for your patience if you pick up the promise again. Don't be afraid because you have fallen once in keeping true to your God; we all fall short of our devotion to Him every day. That's part of what being a human in a fallen world is, and that is why Jesus came to die on Earth. It can be... hard to remember some times. I still hold gruges against myself because of my past sins, and that's not healthy. Of course, it's good to learn from your mistakes, but don't bash yourself for them, and certainly don't think that God will be angry with His daughter in your case.
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Slater - Posts: 2671
- Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 10:00 am
- Location: Pacifica, Caliphornia
[quote="Slater"]Most certainly not. Reinforcing a broken promise to God is ok, and I'll wager that He likes that. God can tell that you are willing to take this promise seriously even if you boned up once. That's what forgiveness is all about. If you ask God to forgive you for this, He will forgive you, and you will be blessed for your patience if you pick up the promise again. Don't be afraid because you have fallen once in keeping true to your God]Wow, someone finally jumped into the middle of all the arguing and answered part of the question *jaw drops*
- GOD will NOT be mad at you EVER! Sure, He's displeased and hurt that you broke you promise, but NO he's not mad at you.
- GOD will NOT be mad at you EVER! Sure, He's displeased and hurt that you broke you promise, but NO he's not mad at you.
[color=#000000]Me: "Hey, what's her last name?"
Brett: "Doesn't matter. It's going to change anyway."
Brett: "Why do they call it tourist season if you can't shoot them?"
[/color]
@)}~`,~ Carry This Rose In Your Signature, As Thanks, To All The CAA Moderators.
- Silent Hunter
- Posts: 358
- Joined: Mon Sep 26, 2005 8:59 pm
- Location: Michigan, USA
Well, making oaths before God is a very serious thing. If anything, we should be resting on His promises and not making promises to Him... but this is beside the point. If you feel that this oath was unwise, I suggest you go before God and get it sorted out with Him before you make a decision about anything.
In my opinion, from the conversation you posted, it seems likely that you both might be on the initial emotional high that comes from a potential relationship. If you want to approach this wisely and make absolutely sure that you're making the right decision, I would recommend that you give it some time. Make sure this isn't all based on a fleeting emotion (for either of you). I'm not saying that you are basing this all on emotion (I don't know the full situation), but it's something to be careful about.
Also, I don't want to argue, but I just want to say that in our culture, age makes a difference. Being 20 and being 16 may only be 4 years apart, but they are at very different stages in our society (assuming you are from the U.S. and not a country where early marriage is encouraged).
I wanna also say that there's no set 'rule' for these issues, but these are things that are important to consider if you want to make a wise decision. I pray that you will do what you know the Lord wants you to do with a clear conscience before Him. Hope I helped!
In my opinion, from the conversation you posted, it seems likely that you both might be on the initial emotional high that comes from a potential relationship. If you want to approach this wisely and make absolutely sure that you're making the right decision, I would recommend that you give it some time. Make sure this isn't all based on a fleeting emotion (for either of you). I'm not saying that you are basing this all on emotion (I don't know the full situation), but it's something to be careful about.
Also, I don't want to argue, but I just want to say that in our culture, age makes a difference. Being 20 and being 16 may only be 4 years apart, but they are at very different stages in our society (assuming you are from the U.S. and not a country where early marriage is encouraged).
I wanna also say that there's no set 'rule' for these issues, but these are things that are important to consider if you want to make a wise decision. I pray that you will do what you know the Lord wants you to do with a clear conscience before Him. Hope I helped!
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Syreth - Posts: 1360
- Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2004 3:12 pm
- Location: Central Washington
I think that if one has made a "promise to God" about something, then it is not necessarily a binding thing unless one understands fully what they are promising when they do it. The promise was obviously made at a young age (seeing your age now) and that constitutes a state in which you may not have realized the implication of such a promise. So if you look back now and see that "Hey, I actually think dating is a useful tool for finding the person I will marry. What was I thinking back then?" maybe the promise is not really applicable. I do not think that God would have an issue with you changing your mind on this, since dating is not against His laws.
That being said, I still would recommend waiting on the dating/going out/finding the person you will marry thing until you are 18 maybe. Then you have a much better hold on your adult personality and where you are going with your life.
That being said, I still would recommend waiting on the dating/going out/finding the person you will marry thing until you are 18 maybe. Then you have a much better hold on your adult personality and where you are going with your life.
Headbangers United
"There is no surer sign of decay in a country than to see the rites of religion held in contempt." - Niccolo Machiavelli
"But even as Josue and Caleb declared that the Land of Promise was good and fair, and that the possession of it would be easy and pleasant; so the Holy Spirit, speaking by all the Saints, and our Blessed Lord Himself assure us that a devout life is a lovely, a pleasant, and a happy life." - from An Introduction to the Devout Life, by St. Francis de Sales
Loyal subject of Sakura-hime, the RP Princess.
CR-chan's faithful PNC.
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"There is no surer sign of decay in a country than to see the rites of religion held in contempt." - Niccolo Machiavelli
"But even as Josue and Caleb declared that the Land of Promise was good and fair, and that the possession of it would be easy and pleasant; so the Holy Spirit, speaking by all the Saints, and our Blessed Lord Himself assure us that a devout life is a lovely, a pleasant, and a happy life." - from An Introduction to the Devout Life, by St. Francis de Sales
Loyal subject of Sakura-hime, the RP Princess.
CR-chan's faithful PNC.
FF-chan's NiichanB.
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Steeltemplar - Posts: 1373
- Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2005 10:32 pm
- Location: United States of Whatever
If he's willing to wait for you, then I would suggest just being friends. You made that promise to yourself and to God for a reason. Maybe spend some quiet time in prayer to remember exactly why you made that decision and under what circumstances you made it. If you made God a promise, this is a serious decision. However, I think God understands that we are human. If you break it, just like anyone, I'm sure He wouldn't be overly pleased, but He isn't going to be angry at you or punish you. God isn't hateful like that.
How well do you know this guy? How did you meet him? How much do you know about him? These are probably things to consider.
And yes, while 16 is young for a 20 year old, my best friend met her now husband when she was 16 and he was 23. They dated for five years and now they've been married for almost three. Sometimes I think people place TOO much emphasis on age. It depends on the person. Take into consideration how mature (or immature) he is. Some 20 year olds are highly mature, while some are just little boys pretending to be grown up. That can be said for anyone of any age.
I'll pray for God to give you wisdom
How well do you know this guy? How did you meet him? How much do you know about him? These are probably things to consider.
And yes, while 16 is young for a 20 year old, my best friend met her now husband when she was 16 and he was 23. They dated for five years and now they've been married for almost three. Sometimes I think people place TOO much emphasis on age. It depends on the person. Take into consideration how mature (or immature) he is. Some 20 year olds are highly mature, while some are just little boys pretending to be grown up. That can be said for anyone of any age.
I'll pray for God to give you wisdom
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dragonshimmer - Posts: 1422
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 9:02 am
- Location: Hillbilly hickville for now.
Okay ppl here is an update... im not dating him and with all of this (even though my fam and alot of ppl on here thankfully has said this i didnt listen until this acctually happened...) i myself have discovered i am not ready to date at all and he is starting to weird me out talking about "where we will be in 10 years" and yeah i liked him alot until he started talking about it... now i just wanna aviod (DUCK AND COVER!!! DUCK AND COVER!!!) him i mean i dont know i EXPLAINED that i am not dating ne one but my future hubby and i sriously dont feel its him but he is being clingy and he insists it could be and blah blah now dont think im talking down on the guy cause im not its just ever since i re made the promise thing although we hadnt officially started dating i just found it necessary... but ever since then... i havent liked him like that i dont know i dont want to hurt him at all but i mught have to PLEASE HELP ME HERE I NEED ADVICE AND YOU GUYS GIVE GOOD ADVICE NO JOKE!!!! and like really he is scareing me kinda i really just want to avoid him cant i just do that?
HELP PLZ!!!
HELP PLZ!!!
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Artist4Jesus89 - Posts: 550
- Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 9:00 am
- Location: In a world with evil all around me :(
Tell him no emphatically ("I am not interested in dating you, so please stop trying to convince me to date you.") and have your father talk to him if he doesn't leave you alone. In fact, have your father AND your older brother(s) (if you have one or several) talk to him. A good stern "Leave my daughter/sister ALONE!" warning puts off most of the ingrates who can't get the picture. Just make sure not to talk to him about dating issues or spend much time with him after you tell him no, or he may get the wrong idea. Try not to be coy, just tell him you aren't interested and act accordingly.
"...cease not a day from this work; be killing sin or it will be killing you." - John Owen The Mortification of Sin
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Puritan - Posts: 799
- Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2005 11:26 pm
- Location: The Southeast
Hmm... At first I thought that Puritan's idea sounded a bit harsh, but... for a guy his age...
As soon as I started thinking of softer measures, I discovered that Puritan's way is the best, lol. Guys sometimes need to talk to daddy who has the baseball bat
As soon as I started thinking of softer measures, I discovered that Puritan's way is the best, lol. Guys sometimes need to talk to daddy who has the baseball bat
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Slater - Posts: 2671
- Joined: Sat May 22, 2004 10:00 am
- Location: Pacifica, Caliphornia
...why does it seem so many of us do the same? I didn't promise to God, so I'm alright if I do date, but as of now...I don't plan on it.
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[color="Red"]Distance is to Love as Wind is to Fire...it extinguishes the small, and ignites the great. - Unknown[/color]
[color="RoyalBlue"]“Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another. I'm sure of it.â€
My Travel Blog
[color="Red"]Distance is to Love as Wind is to Fire...it extinguishes the small, and ignites the great. - Unknown[/color]
[color="RoyalBlue"]“Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another. I'm sure of it.â€
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Destroyer2000 - Posts: 1756
- Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2003 9:00 am
- Location: Fields of Athenry
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