Postby Bobtheduck » Sun Feb 19, 2006 11:22 pm
I feel like I can't do anything... Like everything is straight out of my control. Everything good in my life somehow turns bad, and I'm giving up... At least fora while... Despair just hit it's greatest point tonight, but at least I didn't blow up like I did the other night, and I hit porn sites again and got to the point where i feel instead of trying to fix all these problems, I'm going to just flow with them... maybe they won't be so bad if I don't fight back... I'm limiting my computer time to work only for the next two weeks at least, but maybe for a month... All these comfort things will continue to be comfort things unless I cut myself off from them entirely and fill up on something that's actually worthwhile, like God and school. I would like to be banned for 2 weeks, but I may be gone for a month... I'd like prayer... A lot...
I want a relationship, but I know I can't handle one, really... I mean, the lonliness is bad, but entering a relationship right now would be really bad...
I want money and stuff... I wanted to save for a PS3, I wanted to save for an HD-TV, I wanted movies and games... Really, though, I don't have the money to cover essentials right now. Medical bills, gas, and insurance and registration stuff on my new car (got a 90 oldsmobile as a gift, though it isnt' mine yet... I likely won't be driving it for a few months, to give me time to get registration, new tires, insurance, and, oh yeah, my license...) I'm going to give up all reservations I had about choosing what Job I had, if this burn tonight doesn't work... I'm gonna go for every burger flipping job out there...
In other words, I give up...So... Hopefully this next month proves valuable for me, but until then, Au revoir.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evcNPfZlrZs Watch this movie なう。 It's legal, free... And it's more than its premise. It's not saying Fast Food is good food. Just watch it.
Legend of Crying Bronies: Twilight's a Princess