I don't know how much longer I can take it...

[Android raptor]

My mom and I do not get along. She is extremely verbally abusive, and I don't help the matter because I do the same. She calls me things like "stupid little brat" and "retard", not to mention tell me how worthless I am every day. I have next to zero self-esteem right now, and I am about to the point where I might hurt myself or someone else. I try to control myself, but I can't because she doesn't stop until I say something back. And she has so far gotten just about everyone on her side.

Also, I get very emotional whenever anyone makes horribly prejudice remarks. It doesn't just offend me, it hurts me. Like when people say a certain group (blacks, homosexuals, other minorities) should all die out and "burn in Hell". That just isn't right, and it also really hurts me to think of all the suffering and death in the world. I don't know; right now I am an emotional train-wreck. Please help...

[ChristianKitsune]

I shall pray for you...

A word of advice..have you tried talking to you mom? Or you father? Have you tried talking to God? Or your pastor?

Maybe right now, you mom really needs help..like sometimes my mom get's REALLY upset...but usually it's because she is REALLY stressed...

sometimes, it is good to look at why someone acts a certain way...what is the underlying cause?

Hang in there...just take what you can and if you have leave the room for a while till she calms down...

Also, maybe reaching out to your mom may help show that YOU care. Even when someone is treating us wrong....maybe all they need is a smile to brighten their day or a hug to cheer them up. (hey, it's a cold world out there..)

Most of all, tell her you love. Even though it might be hard.

I shall keep you in my prayers though!
hang in there! But most importantly PRAY for her. And Tell God how you feel! ^_^

-In Christ

ChristianRonin >^._.^<

[Android raptor]

My mom has always been like this. But she's been getting worse. My dad is an achoholic, but he's not abusive, so I want to live with him. Anyway, thank you...

[Roy Mustang]

I will be praying for you.

If you need to vent, yell or just talk about it.


You know that you can PM me.


Wingzero22

[ssj2gohan61]

i too will be praying for you

[Rogie]

Moved to Prayer Room.

[Android raptor]

Thank you all...even though I disagree with you all on a lot of things, I am very glad that you have accepted me. And especialy you, Wingzero22. You are a very good person.

[PigtailsJazz]

[quote="Android raptor"]My mom and I do not get along. She is extremely verbally abusive, and I don't help the matter because I do the same. She calls me things like "stupid little brat" and "retard", not to mention tell me how worthless I am every day. I have next to zero self-esteem right now, and I am about to the point where I might hurt myself or someone else. I try to control myself, but I can't because she doesn't stop until I say something back. And she has so far gotten just about everyone on her side.

Also, I get very emotional whenever anyone makes horribly prejudice remarks. It doesn't just offend me, it hurts me. Like when people say a certain group (blacks, homosexuals, other minorities) should all die out and "burn in Hell". That just isn't right, and it also really hurts me to think of all the suffering and death in the world. I don't know]

I'm really sorry to hear about the situation with your mom. She should more than definitely not be calling you names like that.

Suffering in the world is a horrendous thing to see and feel. It's hard to cope with and hard to understand...especially if another person's pain affects you to your core.

I will definitely be praying for you. Just remember that no matter how long a down may last, an up will come again....

[CrimsonRyu17]

I pray that you and your mother will get along. i have to deal with the same thing. almost the exact same thing. I've noticed though, that it happens when financial problems occur in the family. even after the problem is solved, i'm still called a "lazy *donkey*" and such everyday. It amazes me how people can try and find comfort in the pain and sufferings of others, yet it also discourages me. yes, it is a painful thing to see. I feel like an emotional train-wreck too, and I know how it is. though despite the troubles of pain and suffering, one thing always brings me comfort: and that is God. he knows your's, mine, and everyone's feelings alike. He's been through worse too. but despite the things we do to him, he still loves us. And I beleive we should try and treat others the same way God treats us. I will pray for you and I hope everything will be okay between you and your mom. ~God Bless~

[Radical Dreamer]

Wow, I'm really sorry about the situation with your mom! That sounds really tough, and I know it must be hard to have to live with that problem hanging over your head all the time. Life can be so hard at this age; I mean, we already have enough self-esteem issues already, and no one needs anyone to tell them things that will only bring them further down. I suggest that you go and talk to someone you trust and look up to...A close teacher, your dad, anyone who will be able to handle your mother and really be able to do something about what she does to you. The way she's acting is just rediculous, and you have every right to be offended and hurt by her actions.

You said earlier that you try to keep control of yourself...that's very good. Lashing out at the first thing your mother says to you will only result in more and more fights, so try to keep that control as long as you can. Try to respond in the calmest way possible, and try to get her to respond that way. I don't know if it'll calm her down, but raising your voice will only get her to raise hers higher. Whatever you do, just don't take out your anger by hurting others or yourself; the former can get you in trouble with the law, and the latter will damage you both physically and mentally. No matter what your mom says, you're definitely not worthless. Verbal abuse can be so spiritually and mentally harmful. Just remember all of the friends you have, and, even though I know you don't agree with me, God loves you. I'll definitely keep you in my prayers, and I really hope things get better for you soon! Feel free to talk to me anytime, if you need someone to listen.

[Android raptor]

Thanks everyone, but my mom isn't going to stop. She's very controling and manipulative and I think she's getting worse. I think my sister and I might go and live with my dad (I hope) soon.

[fudgecake]

*sniff* aww...thats really sad. geeze. r u a christian? and is she one? i shall pray for u. yup. i wonder y she wantta hurt ya. everybody should be treated with respect! and worthyness

[Rambo]

I will pray for you and God stay stay with you.

[Android raptor]

No, I'm not Christian, but I appreciate everything you guys are doing and all the support. I just think that living with my dad would be the best thing.

[Sammy Boy]

Hi Android raptor .. it's probably hard to believe this with your current situation and the way you are being treated - but your value is not dependent on how others see you, and not even how you see yourself wheh you have low self-esteem.

Regardless of whatever achievements you may or may not have in life, your value is not defined by those things. You are special just like everyone else - this is what we believe.

Please remember this, it does make life not as difficult to live out.

We'll be praying for you.

[heero yuy 95]

Hey, we all go through tough times. don't worry, i'll be praying, and God is ALWAYS here for you. hard times is like going through a dark tunnel. it looks dark and you seem alone, but just keep on trudging, and eventually the tunnel has an end!^__^ i'll be praying. And yes you're worth is based on what god thinks, not other people. and remember, God doesn't make faulty products!>__^

[dragonshimmer]

Coming from someone who grew up in a very, very similar situation, I love my mother very much, but she can be very verbally and emotionally abusive at times. She doesn't realize she's doing it.

I just want to say I'm sorry for you and I'll keep you in my prayers. Personally, I learned to deal with it by tuning my mother out and choosing my battles. I learned to start ignoring everything she said, because everytime I responded, it just gave her more ammo. My family is very racist/homophobic and everything else, so I grew up with that too. When they start, I just leave the room.

When your mom starts, try focusing on something else, like what you want to do next time you hang out with friends or what you'd rather be doing or imagine yourself hanging out in a really awesome place. It kind of removes yourself from the situation until you can leave.

Have you tried speaking with her about this? Sometimes people don't realize they're doing it.

*hugs* I hope that you either find a solution or it gets better.

[Android raptor]

Yes, I have tried speaking with her, but she just turns it around and makes me the one at fault. And she never listens. But my therapist, teachers, etc, think that my sister and I should live with my dad, because she's just getting worse.

[freerock1]

Thank you for your honesty. I'm sorry to read of the struggle you're going through, but I will be glad to pray for you. Please keep us posted.

[Ryupower]

About the emotional stuff...it sounds like that's love....
and is your mom saved?

[tripperdan99]

Hi Android raptor, I spent some time thinking about your post. I wasn't even planning on replying, I was just going to do as many of the other caring people on this list and pray for you (which I still will).

I just want to offer you a couple of insights that you might find helpful or not. A number of us on this forum have gone through simular issues. My mom was a total psycho (to put it nicely) who would vanish for years at a time, and when she was around everyone shared the "joy". My dad was a drug addict/alchoholic that I buried when I was 18 after he died of a violent drug over dose.

Why share this? Mainly to let you know that you will do/be fine. However, how you will pass through this time of your life is YOUR choice. You can't change your mom, you can't change your dad. None of this is your fault. However, I would caution you to avoid the "feeling sorry for yourself" and getting addicted to depression. (read that last sentence a couple of times) The claws of depression go deep and the darkness wants to consume you. That is not your path, that's not why you are alive.

Also you mentioned not being a Christian. That's your choice, but I found that it was the power of Jesus that allowed me to walk through the flames of the hell I was in. Jesus doesn't expect you to be anything but yourself, if you call His Name, He will answer you. That one point saved my life and prevented the death of two people (me and the person who sold the drugs to my father, because I was going to kill him, plain and simple).

Here is a nugget or two you might be able to use.

1. You must forgive yourself of everything. Then forgive your parents of everything. EVERYTHING. Yep, not easy, but forgiveness is not for them, it's for you.

2. Control your thoughts. Don't replay and dwell on the crap. You are the master of your moment and thoughts. As for me, being a Christian, I had a wealth of ammo and weapons for my mind. I would encourage you to look at some scriptures that will help you (and they do). If you would like a couple of ones that I found to be empowering, I'll be glad to share them.

3. Find a Mentor. This must be someone you trust and also of the same gender!! Not someone who will message you in self pity, but will be a source of power and direction. You're looking for someone who will help you get to a higher level that you can't get to by yourself.

4. You can win, you will win, you can make it for yourself and your sister. Just make sure you grow through all this crap and not grow bitter.

5. Once your able to 100% forgive yourself and others, decide to not make excuses for yourself or others. People do what they do, no excuses. Things do and will happen beyond your control, but accept 100% responsibiltiy for yourself and your actions. Don't let anyone be the "puppet master" of your life, happiness or dreams. They are yours and yours alone. HOWEVER, you can not walk in total responsibility until you walk in total forgiveness.

I hope some of this makes sense. I can remember going through crap as a non-believer and then going through more crap as a Believer. I'm so glad I had the empowerment that Jesus brought. You might be tougher than me and can handle all that without Him, I wasn't that tough (still not!).

So take it from someone who had to make it on his own from age 15, you can do it and you will win. You will win big time. I'm excited for your future and victory you will have.

To you I extend a prayer of strength and power, with wisdom that will empower you to reach all your dreams!!

Tripperdan99