Postby Mithrandir » Sun Jun 29, 2003 10:29 am
Serious Post. Don't read if not prepaired.
This specific post was started as a joke, and buffered as such. Uh OK. I'm not trying to be defensive here, and I don't usually do this but...
My goal in life is to lead people to Christ by example. I'm not the best at it, as I do not have the gift of evangelism. Instead, I try to leave evey person I come in contact with better than when I found them; I have found in life that humor is the most common denominator; everyone can relate to humor. Some people would say this is a frivolous waste of time. I suppose that's their perogative. I'm certainly not going to judge someone else simply because they judged me. (NO I'M NOT SAYING ANYONE HERE DID THAT! STOP READING TO MUCH INTO WHAT I AM SAYING!) I was studying to become a vocational childrens/teen pastor when God, in no uncertain terms, made it clear to me that I was not supposed to be a vocational (professional) minister. Having a passion for computers, I started frequenting web arenas where that demographic hung out. I have helped numerous kids/teens/adults online giving them aid in terms of listening to their hurt/questions and pointing them to sound biblical teachings. Some are hungry for the depth of Clive Staples (C.S.) Lewis, some need the directness found in Brother Lawrence of the Resurestion. Still others have left religion long ago in search for what they call reality. While freely admiting my inadiquacy, I try to meet each individual on the grounds that they come to me. Being human, this is the best I can do. I have come to grips with this, and am trying to give advice where it is needed, help when it is appropriate, and love at all times.
As for my own past, when I was desperate for attention at the age of 15, I experienced pain and suffering that most people simply cannot comprehend. (In case you care, I lost 12 close family members in the span of 2 years. Including my mother, my pastor and a childhood friend.) When I first became interested in girls, I had my only role model torn from me. I was taken advantage of, and had ZERO abilitiy to relate to women as people, and not things. Later in life a girlfriend treated me like I behaving, and I was able to learn the error of my ways. Suffice to say, I felt a bit of pain. This pain left me able to relate on a very real level to almost any pain anyone goes through, but at the same time, it stole my emotions. I have a VERY difficult time experiancing certain emotions. I won't go into this here. I do not believe God put me through this pain, I believe he allowed it to occur. I believe he has reasons that are not my business to question/dissect. Everyone goes through pain of some sort, mine was just sort of potent.
OK. That's just about enough of that.
- KMM (AKA Carbon Ocelot. AKA: Old philosopher.