To Marry or Not To Marry

[Yokou]

I've been going out with my boyfriend for a couple of years and he asked me to marry him. Well, my dad told me that after I graduate and after he graduates then I can get married. But, I'm not sure if I can wait that long. I love my boyfriend very much and I want to be able to be with him everyday. I'm just scared that if i don't wait, my family might disown me. I don't know what to do. I don't want to go against my dad's rule, but I don't want to disappoint my boyfriend either. Please pray that I make the right decision that hopefully doesn't hurt anyone.

[Sammy Boy]

Hi Yokou,

Have you talked to your boyfriend about what your dad thinks about this? Perhaps if you told him that you want to marry him, but just wish to wait a bit longer, that's a possible solution.

Marriage is a big step in life. There's no need to rush into it, and I believe if you both love each other, then a few more years will not cause your love for each other to disappear.

I know how it is to love and miss someone. My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for two years now, and we want to get married as well, but there are lots of things to work out first, such as finding a place to live, getting furniture, etc.

If you haven't already, I suggest that you could bring your boyfriend over to your place and your family and you and him can all have a discussion to work things out.

I will keep you in my prayers as well. I hope all goes well.

[c-girl]

*huggles Yokou* First off. >^.^< ~<3 Congrats! It must be very exciting.
2ndly. >"< I agree with everything Ultra Magnus said. You should prolly have a talk with your parents and your boyfriend and see what to do. >^^< Parents know best and they always have the best advice for their children. (They know more about you then ya think.. >0_o<..)
I'll pray as well also! Good luck to ya! >^.^<

[Ingemar]

Follow your parents' instruction to wait until after school *stabs Physics textbook.* Marriage is not just a love-dovey let's-hold-hands-forever arrangement, but a serious bond that also considers the healthy propagation and welfare of family. Therefore, serious economic considerations must be made. If I were you, I would wait until both of you were employed. College is a good step, but vocational training is also an option if you prefer education that is immediately applicable to a job that pays at least more than minimum wage.

If that seems like a lot of waiting... well, it is. There's no way around that. But the important thing is to maintain the relationship so it doesn't wither away and die (after three years in college, I have LESS of a social life than I did in high school *kicks all those party college movies*).

Here's another thing--if the both of you could get through a cross-country drive (or any drive that takes more than two days of driving) without complaining or arguing, you two are DEFINITELY meant for each other. I bring this example up because that's how my parents knew they were meant for each other.

[starwarsboy90]

True Love Waits. Wait until after college would be the most economic decision. Talk to your parents and to your boyfriend, then of course pray to God for an answer. God will most suredly answer, one way or another.

[CDLviking]

If you can not wait for something, there is a very real possibility that you want it for the wrong reasons. This applies to anything, not just marriage. I'm sure that you will find that you are able to wait as long necessary for an appropriate time for marriage. It sounds like your families are not against this marriage, so why cause a useless rift because of haste?

[EireWolf]

Marriage is definitely not something to rush into. You're still young, and you (and your boyfriend) will probably both change a lot during the college years. I know I did. Wait it out, and if you still want to marry him when college is done, then go for it! Although waiting is difficult, it's much better than realizing later that you made a serious mistake.

[K. Ayato]

As Josh Harris said in his book Boy Meets Girl, "True love doesn't just wait, it plans. I'll be praying.

[Silent Hunter]

Well, it looks like the others have summed up what I was going to say pretty well. I'll pray for you.

[Ryupower]

I would wait, remember, you must be absolutely sure that you two will never leave each other, EVER. Since divorce is unbiblical.

But, eventhough I have no experiance here, I do understand how it must be. after being in love for how many years? It must be kinda hard to harness oneself.

But please be faithful and wait, it's no longer than 1 or 2 years, right? If you can make it this far, you can make it further.
Oh what joy your weddingday will be then!

But yeah, I suggest telling your BF about what your father says. And I'm getting kinda convicted here, lol. thanks.

Well anyways, lifting you up sis!

[Artist4Jesus89]

Is your bf a christian also?
if so i am sure he will be able to wait there is no reason to rush these things if he really wants to and you talk to him about your situations than he should understand and wait talk to your dad and God they will both have good advice and remeber the bible says honor thy mother and father.
I will pray for both of you to have guidence and patience.

[Yojimbo]

Why is he so adamant about not waiting? Not even waiting till you're out of highschool at that... That's rush marriage and that's deffinetly not a good sign. You're both really young it couldn't hurt to wait a couple more years till you're both more mature spirtually and emotionally. If you truly love eachother how hard would that be? And if he has a problem with that then maybe it's time to really think about your relationship...

[GhostontheNet]

Well, I know if you lived in Yeshua Christ's society you would probably have been married by now and that God set it up without error that marriage and childbirth would be possible in the teen years - but the coming into adult roles in life is not determined by nature but by society (as revealed by anthropology). And in the West with all it's mighty towers that transition comes slowly, complete with a rite of passage a full four years long. If you love each other, your wisest choice is for both of you to use this time to eke out the means for self-sufficiency in your own little nuclear family, maybe the both of you go to a community college for two years to keep costs low for a while - but above all, if you are serious you should wisely already begin to walk in life's twisted road together in earnest before you finally marry.

[VashTheStampede]

Everyone pretty much summed up what I was going to say. Remember to put a lot of prayer into this and never forget that God DOES have your best interests in mind and is not out to keep you from loving or being loved by a significant someone. Trust in His timing and not your own, God will know when you are ready to be married. Also, honor your parents as well, however difficult that may be

[Yokou]

Thank you for all your help. I will let you know how everything turns out.