a definite need...

[Nightshade X]

As it turns out, my car broke down (*sigh* again) and it's not worth fixing anymore. The expense of repair will outweigh it's value, so... I'm in need of a new car. Unfortunately, I don't have the money to get one... which would be my problem. If there was a time for God to provide for me, now would be it.

I have a couple of other issues... like my own wavering faith and a pregnant ex-girlfriend (I didn't do it.). I can feel myself stuck between sides in my faith. On one hand, I know that God is real because I have felt His power... yet, I have trouble believing that He unconditionally forgives or provides... and I guess I have some unfortunate experiences in my life that I can point to as the cause. I'm just stuck and I know it, but I don't know the way out... if that makes sense at all.

Lastly... as far as this pregnant ex... she was my first girlfriend. The one that I was so concerned about in the past and the one I was posting about constantly. I guess I still carry a small spark for her even still... but that's not the issue. In some twisted way, I've found a way to blame myself for her actions. I don't know why I do that... but I'd like prayer for that as well. I know it's not right. I also want to go see her... but I don't know what would happen if I do. The probability that I'd say something incredibly stupid or narrow-minded would be extremely high... and more than anything, she needs a good friend. It's stupid... I was so concerned about being her hero... and I feel that I've failed in that. I surely can't be her hero now... so I guess it's about time I was just a better friend.

There's a lot swimming around in my head and it's now too difficult to assemble a coherent thought about anything important... so thank you for praying for me and my needs.

[K. Ayato]

*Hugs* I'll be praying, bub.

[freerock1]

Lifting you up, bro.

[Archan]

You have my prayers,
I know what you mean about re-evaluating things as far as you faith, God's power, stuff like this. It's hard, we all go through it, some more then others and only God knows why such happens as it does.

Just remember, God will bring you through this stronger then you are now, but you need to believe. Its hard for me to type such currently because I myself am going through stuff as well, but God uses the most interesting of people no? i just know one thing is for sure, God won't put us through anything we can't handle...even as we all go through our own trials, God knows we have the strength we need to overcome these things. i hope you can find some peace in this.

As for your ex, well, you said it best actually, right now she needs a good friend. just focus on this, and focus not so much in ways to make her situation better, but just how to be a good friend. How to comfort her, and be strong emotionally....because sometimes a good friend is all the remedy a trial needs, that and God of course.

I hope all turns out well,
God bless,
Archan