Postby c.t.,girl » Sat Oct 22, 2005 4:38 pm
things...i guess are ok.
i've been getting sick off and on...never any seriousness...just...the same. i've been getting asthme attacks...it's not fun...and i've been getting dizzy and other things still...and to add to it excessive coughing, stomach pains, lower back pains(ok just back pains in general), athritise(sp?) yes...i have it at this age, ringing in the ears, and nausia(sp?). thankfully the taste of blood in my mouth hasn't shown up lately.
oh yes, and yesterday my friend totally stomped on my foot (yes i have ice on it right now)...and it's been hurting since then(8:45am-ish friday). my mom's noticed a bump where it hurts...i really pray it isn't broken...bcuz i'm in the school play! and i can't have a broken foot in the play! (and i just might have a line in the play! yay!)
aside from all that...things with my family are no better. my grandmother is going to have kemo once more...they had stopped it the last time since it would make her very sick. a while ago the doctors said they couldn't help her...cuz they had tried everything on her(she has cancer btw). and so now they're going to try something that they already know doesn't work! gah! XP
i can see that all this is REALLY hard for my dad and grandfather...but...they try their hardest to hide how they feel...but...when i look in their eyes i can see pain...and fear. some days my dad's desent enough to talk to...and sometimes i just stay away from him. that's how my family is i guess...so...moody.
i've been kinda moody myself lately though. there's...something in my life right now that's...kinda hard for me to handle...and i'd rather not share it...although...some may know about it...and some not. i'm not sure if it's the situation that's making me feel depressed...or if it's just me thinking and what not...i've been getting hard on myself lately...for things that i do...it's like...i punish myself...by...inflicting pain...i know i shouldn't...and i'm sorry that i do...i'm just...so messed up...i dunno...i just...wish i couldn't feel...
yeah...prayers much appretiated...
~chris
[color="DarkOrange"]"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things... hey... the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor
"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]