a myriad of issues...

[Nightshade X]

I have a lot of things going on right now, most of which are not very good things... I need to start looking for a new job. Working at Blockbuster has become so stressful, since my 3rd store manager took his position... in the year that I've worked there, I'm aware of more theft due to shoplifting than I've ever known or would care to know. That, and the fact that my manager keeps scheduling me to work on Sunday nights when I clearly put on my availability that I do not work Sundays... yet it's been happening for 3 weeks now, and I'm such a coward that I'm just going in and not saying a word about it... like a good worker should. Also, I haven't had a weekend off for a very long time without requesting it, and I'm beginning to worry about people... my friends... and my grandmother. I haven't seen her since Christmas and I missed her birthday because I had to work... and I used to go to visit her twice a month...

That's not even the whole of my problems right now... I'm in the middle of searching for a new church. I know beyond doubt that this is something I must do, but now, I can't look very effectively, since I'm having to go to work on Sunday afternoons and nights now. Plus, some friends of mine have been planning a concert for this Saturday and they've asked me to help work crowd control... but, I'm scheduled to work that evening, and like a fool I didn't request the day off... so I have to ask someone to cover for me or ask the store manager to find someone. This is a commitment I can't afford to break.

Now, to top everything off, I've been getting these crazy feelings lately... I never feel like going to class, but I like being there... some of the problems I've had in my past have come back to assault me... many many other things as well, but more specifically about someone very dear to me... for some reason, I feel like I'm losing her... or that I'm going to very soon and, as much as I don't want that to happen... if it does, I know I won't be able to do anything about it... and that may trigger something inside of me that I've been fighting to keep sealed...

Long-winded post, I know... but your prayers are most appreciated.

[K. Ayato]

I will most definitely pray, Nathan. *hug* Count on it .

[c.t.,girl]

you're not losing her...she's just really stressed...but do keep her in prayer...and i'll be keeping you in prayer. ^^d

[freerock1]

Lifted one for you, bro.

[Nightshade X]

another problem... my mom is going to have me drop out of college and work full-time if I don't get A's this semester, since she says I'm just wasting my money... things aren't really looking up very much, but I can't let that happen.

She doesn't like, understand, or even care about any of my interests. I don't think she even understands me at all. I'm going through a lot more than she knows... and even if she did know (which I suspect greatly), she doesn't show it very well. Really, I'd like her to encourage me in some way and I know she's trying, but constantly reminding me of the good person I used to be (her and I don't really talk anymore, by the way... actually... we almost never did.) and threatening me with making me drop out if I don't meet her standards really isn't having the effect that she'd like it to have. I get more depressed and apathetic whenever she does that... even though I know she's right... I just wish she'd at least try to sound understanding instead of pulling stuff like this...

Great... now, I'm starting to sound like your garden-variety angsty teenage kid who's always like, "Oh, you don't understand! You'll never get me!!" I thought I was past all that... Um... ignore my complaintiveness (is that even a word?) and please, please keep praying for me. I really appreciate all of you who are.

[Razgriz]

I will be praying.

[Nightshade X]

Thanks to all of you who prayed for me. I'm still going through some things, but my feelings are beginning to normalize and I'm beginning to seek God's guidance for everything else, which is what I should have done in the first place instead of try to resolve everything myself. You were all a big help to me during this time. May God bless you all to overflowing.

[freerock1]

Glad to see you're coming into a better mindset about things. Just know that it's in the Father's hands, and He works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.