The Shatterheart Show!

[Stephen]

Ok. Some ground rules and info. One, this is a nightshow style event born in a YIM chat with CAA members. The basic idea, I come up with a series of questions...I pick one random member and ask them the questions via PM. I post the answers in here for everyones enjoyment. Don't ask to be interviewed, since it will be totaly random. It will be a weekly event. This gives me time to get good questions. Please don't spam on this. This thread will be pruned from time to time to keep things down to the interviews and such. Anyway. The first guest will be annouced in the next few days! Keep an eye out.

[Stephen]

Show opens with a roar. Tonights guest, *classic rock hits* Kaemmerite!

1. How did you find CAA? Did you stumble on to it, or did someone point you to it?

Heh...to be honest, I found CAA when I had about two weeks or so left in the Navy. I was bored one night on watch (yes, I totally goofed off on watch, I admit it) and was doing a google search (of what, I will not say). That is how I stumbled across the site. And I said, "I'd like to join, but I only have two weeks left in the Navy, so I won't." Then I came home and found out that we had internet in my house. I didn't sign up right away though, it took me a few weeks before I remembered about the site (I had forgotten).

2. How many websites are you associated with at the moment?

christiansupport.org is one I frequent a lot. Also I go to the Guild of Redeemed Gamers...but I haven't been there in a LONG while. I have a Livejournal as well...wonder if that counts. Oh, and I'm technically a member of Theology Web...though I haven't been there since before Christmas or so.

3. What is your least fav type of thread to see

I'll forego the obvious answer of anything started by a troll. Hmm...tough question. I think I'll say any threads relating to how to interpret Genesis/Revelations. I know they get locked, but it's a pain, because everyone has their own opinions on the issues, and since neither side can conclusively prove anything, it turns into petty arguments quickly.

4. What is your fav type of thread to see

The rare thread where everybody has an intelligent, insightful post, and everyone is very civil toward each other. Any threads related to RPGs are nice too (console or otherwise).

5. Hit me with some wisdom, a quote you like

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

6. Ok, time for the serious ones. You are being mangled by a Rhyno...you have 2 things within reach to use as a weapon. A toaster oven, and a fork. Which one do you grab...and why?

The fork. If I'm lucky, I can stab the rhino's eyes out and it won't be able to find me when I run.

7. Moral dilema. You are at a friends house using the bathroom...when too your horror you discover...no TP. What do you do?

Yell at the top of my lungs "I'M TRAPPED!" (There is actually someone on the site who can verify this.)

8. You have to kiss one captain. Kirk or Picard. Whos it gonna be?

O.O
Kiss?
Uh...Picard...because uh...I could kiss the top of his head 'cuz he's bald...yeah.

9. Be honost, which type of person do you most enjoy annoying in life?

Hmm...definitely people that can't take a joke. If someone takes EVERYTHING they hear seriously, I have to mess with them. Also, vegetarians...not the ones doing it for health or religious reasons, the ones who do it because "Oh, I don't want to hurt the fuzzy animals."

10. I heard this once before, its a good one. If you had to choose between extreme agony for 5 minutes, or slight pain over the course of your whole life each morning...which would you take and why?

The latter...I'm used to waking up in slight pain every morning...and I am the kind of person who would be skeptical. I wouldn't believe that only five minutes of agony would spare me the pain of the rest of my life. So, yeah, the latter.

11. If you had a chance to end world hunger by simply punching an elderly woman would you do it?

I'm the kind of person that doesn't totally believe the ends justify the means...and I'm not a violent person by nature anyway. ^^]

12. Death by cats, or death by falling?

Falling, if it was from an enormous height. It'd be kind of fun to hit the gravitational constant. Plus, if I was lucky, I'd land on my head, snap my neck, and die instantly with no pain...I don't think that would happen with the cats.

13. Ok, enough of the morbid questions. You go swimming, and you loose your trunks. Do you try staying underwater, try to hide yourself with water toys, or do you promptly annouce I AM FREE? Be specific.

I don't get embarassed easily...I don't have many inhibitions, y'know? So I'd loudly announce that I was nude, and that I was leaving the water to get a towel to cover myself with. If people don't want to look, they'll turn away, and if they do, they won't...it's up to them. Doesn't matter to me.

That wraps up this weeks interview. Awesome responces by Kae. Keep an eye out here and in the next few days the next victim...I mean, the next person to be interviewed will be annouced. 13 New questions for the new person.

[Stephen]

Welcome folks, to The Shatterheart Show. We are now celebrating our massive 2nd episode! So far the ratings seem to be going good. As long as it keeps good ratings, it can stay sticked. Once it starts to get that stale show smell...it sinks like a rock. But, without keeping the fans waiting any longer. Let me introduce our guest this week.

Mangafanatic!

Before we get started, I have a few words of wisdom from a random YIM chatters in the audience tonight.

jmr976431: ring ring ring ring ring ring ring...banana phooone
tripsternick: MY EYE!
spikespiegel306: BAM!
tripsternick: i like deh wimeens

As you can tell...its no wonder this show is so strange if these guys are the ones who inspired me to start the show.

*Clears throat* In any case...lets get on with the questions.

1. How did you find CAA? Did you stumble on to it, or did someone point you to it?

When I stumbled across CAA, it was at a time in my life when I was just about to give up manga and anime completely, because I was so tired I feeling I was the only Christian fan of anime there was on earth. More importantly, I was just fed up of trying asking other random anime fans for clean anime and manga and getting answers like "Well, have you ever seen Neon Genesis Evangelion?" As one of my last resorts, I googled in the phrase "Christian anime reviews."

*Poof!* CAA appeared.

2. How many websites are you associated with at the moment?

Associated with? Well, right now I'm a member of probably three other boards, but I have a combined post count of, like, 100 post on all of them. Mostly, I joined them because they provided services I needed. CAA is really the only board of which I'm active member.

3. What is your least fav type of thread to see

I have two least favorite thread types. The first is the "o.mg!!1! sumbody cum and fight over me!"/Marriage threads. I dislike them A) because they promote an internet relationship fixation and
B) they multiply. Someone makes one of those threads one evening and the next morning there's twelve of them. The second type of thread I dislike with a passion is bashing/hate threads. No matter what the topic or the annoyance, publicizing your dislike or disagreement like that won't solve it. Remember that, boys and girl. *nod nod*

4. What is your fav type of thread to see

My favorite type of thread would probably be any Fruits Basket discussion thread (Yes, I'm a junkie) or threads where everybody shares what they like about other members. Those are so fun.

5. Hit me with some wisdom, a quote you like

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no effect on society. And it's so true..

6. What nicknames are you known by online?

I have a lot of nicknames, but the only one of them is officially approve is Osaka[-chan].

7. I must say, you are one of the more under-rated members on CAA...in a few thoughts, what would you like to say to the entire site?

I'd like to say that you're entirely correct, Steve. I am SOOOO under-rated. Come on, people. Appreciate me!

Just kidding.

Joking aside, what I'd like to say to the whole site is that I really appreciate everybody here. I know it sounds so typical and fake, but you guys really mean so much to me. I once though "What would I do if everybody on CAA quit?" I concluded, quite honestly, that I'd just cry. You guys are the best, and I know you're all a gift God gave me when I needed you all the most.

8. Your friend asks you if somthing there wearing looks good. It is absoluly horrific. Its like fashion upchucked on them. Do you tell them it looks good anyway? Or are you honost? Be honost in your answer or Kaemmerite will release my Ghandi-bot to track you down. Don't question it.

answer this question only for fear of the all-powerful Ghandi-bot! *dons garlic and finds large steak, unaware that neither could protect her from the fearful Ghandi-bot.*

I think I'd probably say "I don't exactly think, and it's definitely noy the best thing I've ever seen you in. We can definitely find something better for you to wear. Like. . . a shag carpet." I probably wouldn't say the thing about the shag carpet. But I'd be thinking it. . .

9. You can do any practical joke to any of the staffers on CAA, which one do you pick...and what practical joke do you do?

If I could prank any staffer. It would DEFINITELY be Steve. I've never totally forgiven him for his "I'm leaving" April fool's joke. *shakes fist* Makin' girls cry. . . It's just so low.

Maybe the prank would be a long rant hate post, saying that I'd decided to leave the board due to the rampant sin in the lives of the authority-- the problem having become blatantly obvious to me by Steve's decision to cut his hair. And then I'd act all indignant and not sign in for a couple days-- just to scare people. Unfortunately, it wouldn't work, because, before anyone even had time to see the thread, I'd start feeling guilty and edit my rant prank. After this redaction it would read: "Never mind. This was a stupid idea. Someone, can, um, close this if it's not too much trouble. . ."

10.(Taken from a YIM Chatter named Indy)What would you do if you were in a cage of bears and all you had to defend yourself with was a twinky?

Easy. I'd divide the twinky into four parts. The first part I'd give to the bears, in hopes of gaining their friendship and disuading them from eating me. If this failed, I'd make an altar to the Lord using the twinky wrapped and whatever jewelry I was wearing. On this altar, I would offer two pieces of the twinky as I prayed for deliverance. If, after that, the Lord chose to still allow the bears to attack me, I'd eat the last part of the twinky and die a happy woman.

11.FORLF. What does it mean to you? Be specific.

Frankly, Osaka really like fudge. Specifically, I like chocolate fudge. But I'm not that picky.

12. (Submitted by Spike)You are in a fist fight with a disney character. Which one is it, and what is the outcome of the fight?

I think I'd probably get in a fist fight with Maid Marion from Robin Hood 'cause I had a serious crush on the Disney Robin Hood when I was a kid. Unfortunately, we'd never really know the outcome of the fight, because I'd definitely run away before she got a punch in. Odds are, though, if I played fair-- she'd win. Which isn't much incentive for me to fight fair now, is it?

Now, a question from my asst. Kae. 13. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

[quote="Mangafanatic"]Both. That means he'll get government subsidy and he'll also have no effect on society. Lucky turtle. . . ]

*claps* Totaly awesome responces to all my questions by Osaka. The Twinkie answer made my face hurt I laughed so hard.

[Stephen]

*Insert fancy expensive pyros and light show*

Welcome to Episode 3 of the Shatterheart show. This weeks guest is none other then the mighty Zilch!

1. How did you find CAA? Did you stumble on to it, or did someone point you to it?

Actually, when I frist joined CAA, it wasn't big enough to be tripped over, so I kinda stepped on it...but that's beside the point. My sister was one of the first 15 or so members of the OLD MSN Groups board back three years ago. She had me join (under the tag Zell Dincht) and the rest is psuedo-history.

2. How many websites are you associated with at the moment?

Mostly just CAA, but occasionally firestream.net (Christian hardcore haven).

3. What is your least fav type of thread to see

Anything that sounds like it should have a Re: or a Fwd: before it. I also have a tendency to loningly hate any threads to do with relationships and "do animals got o heaven"-type threads.

4. What is your fav type of thread to see

As Strong Bad would say, "Threads are like my childrens, I love them all.". But I like fun little threads like asking how the person below you will die.

5. Hit me with some wisdom, a quote you like

When angry count to ten. When very angry, count to 100. -Thomas Jefferson
When angry, count to 7, when very angry, swear. -Mark Twain
Okay, for real now...
The people that care don't matter, and those that matter don't care.

6. You get 5 minutes to have a discussion with any famous person in history. Who is it, and why?

I would like to find the guy that made it madatory for that stupid jingle to be played from ice cream trucks. He would then have a one sided conversation with a one of my dirty socks whilst being hung over a bunch of kindergardeners on Pixie Stix highs. I doubt current law would let me do it all French Revolution style..

7. While flirting with a girl you like, you accidently pass gas nothing short of Biblical plague level. How do you handle the situation.

"Guys, we need to calm down! The fuzz is dropping tear gas on your party!" either that or use the infamous line, "Hey, did you see the duck that ran under my chair?"

8. Your eating a sandwhich that you bought at a fastfood place...you find a hair in it. Do you take the hair out and finish the sandwhich, or toss the whole the thing.

I eat the hair. It's deep fried, therefore, it's clean.

9. While walking down the street, a Nun stops you...and cusses you out. What do you say?

I would probably kneel get all weepy and act like she was saying something profound, throwing in the occasional "That's right, sister, I will take my &*^ self and **^&ing and get out of your &**%ing way before you throw holy *&^& on me! Amen!

10. While playing a game online with a family member (sister) she gets you killed. When you get back in, what is your first reaction?

First, I distract her with the old Barq's-on-a-string trick, then I pull her controller out, pull up a sniper rifle, and no-scope her at point blank, whether or not she's on my team.

11. You wake up from a sound sleep at a 7-11...standing by the slurpee machine. The place is closed. What do you do?

Check my pockets for the business cards of the aliens that dropped me there, then I kife the slurpee machine.

12. (Kaemmerite has a question) If a mime commits suicide, does he use a silencer?

Wouldn't all the other mimes hear it?

13. Ok, you've been the 3rd victim...I always go guy girl guy girl, if you were Steve for a minute...who would you choose to interview 4th? And why. (I may or may not agree, cause I am Steve...and I suck like that)

Janet Reno. To find out how that phone got up her...

*Interupts* Thats all the time we have for Zilch...Keeping the censor team up late tonight...Now, to close the show...I was wondering if someone from the audience would like to add anything?

I want to be lit on fire

rotfk

I don't care if she is my sister.

Interesting. And what did you think of the show this week?

it rocks your face off and your mom and grandma's pet monkey

I GOT DIABETES AND CANCER BECAUSE OF YOU.

shatterheart you play too rough...please don't hit me

I dont want a angry drunk steve on my hands

As you can see...the fans love me. Awesome interview Zilch, thanks for dropping in and giving us a view into your twisted mind...I mean...your point of view...Anyway...keep an eye on this thread for more interviews coming soon. Thanks for reading folks!

[Stephen]

*Show opens with 2 giant robots fighting to the death*


Welcome to the 4th episode of the acclaimed Shatterheart Show! Ratings have been good...and there is a good chance we may have a lengthy contract left in the show. Just a note for tonights episode, please be praying for those in New Orleans....its pretty bad down there. Its surely somthing we should be praying about. *clears throat* Now, onto the show. This week we have a lady as our guest...so that eliminates most the bathroom humor jokes. Or at least the funny ones...A fairly popular lady here on CAA...give it up, for the aweseome INK!

Ok guys, you know the routine...13 questions. Some serious...some not. Refusal to answer questions results in a swift anhiliation from the Ghandi bot...and nobody really wants that. Trust me. So now, without further filler....Episode 4! (With no whiney moisture farm boys!)

1. How did you find CAA? Did you stumble on to it, or did someone point you to it?

The classic route. "christian anime" in a search engine. ^^

2. How many websites are you associated with at the moment?

CAA, the Guild, Christianmanga, and a couple of other little sites.

3. What is your least fav type of thread to see

Threads that show me that the writer doesn't bother to read the rules before posting. Political threads in particular. I dislike these far more than troll threads. And bashing threads. Those are icky too. Blah.

4. Having that being said, what is your fav type of thread to see

Threads where people -aren't- talking about how much they hate stuff I happen to like ]

5. Hit me with some wisdom, a quote you like

Don't spit in the wind. <--quote. Dunno who said it first. XD

And don't poke your parents with pencils, that one can backfire on you no matter how funny it seems at the time. <--extra wisdom for good measure

6. Ok, those were the easy ones. Now for the real deal questions. This question comes from the Yahoo chat from Dan the man. "You're on a lifeboat, and the wind is rising...the sea is rising...there are 19 other people on the boat...but it can only hold 12 people. What do you do?

Hmm, I'd probably get blasted for my first answer to this...XD How about finding out by coincidence that MacGuyver is on the boat with you, and he manages to create from the small items carried by the boat's passengers another life boat? (It sank under the first guy, but bless his heart, he tried)

7. You are at a rodeo. Would you rather be the rider, the bull, or the rodeo clown. And why?

I have the feeling some people already picked out an answer for me on this one...XP The clown. Unfortunately, I know what happened to Lane Frost. And I refuse to be a bull for obvious reasons.

8. (This question is so totaly ripped off from Kae) While taking a wonderful nature walk, you happen upon a starving endangered animal eating an endangered insect. What do you do?

Go home and watch a really good movie. Being me, I wouldn't know either were endangered.

9. What is one thing you wish the rest of CAA knew about you?

I'm not dead!

10. You are on a plane thats slowly crashing. There are 2 bags, and your there with a friend. They grab a bookbag thinking its a parachutte. Do you tell them and die yourself, or do you keep the parachutte?

I could never live with myself. I'll just give them the parachute and go down with the plane. @.@

11. Ok, you get to slug another staffer. Which one is it and why? (Yes I am gonna put you in a spot, cause I can)

*punches Shatterheart* Because you put me on the spot, that's why!

12. What is the single greatest food ever made by a man/woman?

That's a very good question! Hmm...pizza. Cuz it's versatile! I mean, look at all the stuff you can do with it! It even cures illnesses! I haven't been sick a day since I started eating it ]

13. Ok, classic question. Ability to fly, or a tail?

Everyone knows I'm a cat, so I have a tail. Having said that, I will now choose the ability to fly X3

There you have it folks! I must say the show may be a few weeks before a new episode comes out. Some personal stuff is hampering my creative juices I suppose. *laughs* I will be working on the next episode though, and as soon as its ready it will be posted.

[Stephen]

Episode 5! Our guest today is Ingemar.


I know its been a while since the last episode...so lets take a moment and field some comments from viewers.

I HATE YOU! DIE STEVE!

YOUR MOMS SCOTTISH!

Butter pecan cheeken!!!!

Hope it is quite possible you are the reason Paul told women to shush

Ahem. Yeah, I know you guys are not happy about the delay. What can I say, I am busy. But, without further adu, the new episode.

1. How did you find CAA? Did you stumble on to it, or did someone point you to it?

If several keystrokes on Google count as stumbling, then stumbling indeed.

2. How many websites are you associated with at the moment?

This one, the fora at Shining Force Central, two blogs and my name appears somewhere on a UCSD Bio webpage.

3. What is your least fav type of thread to see?

My gawsh, if I could get a Ph.D. on Internet Forum Studies, I could write my dissertation on my least favorite thread types. You'll have to constantly update my answer for this. Let's see--There are far too many threads that involve Inuyasha. For some reason, threads asking about Japanese culture irritate me. Also, I don't like "People you like/admire/encourage someone" threads. They tend to be too exclusionary. And waaaaaaaaaaay too lopsided in favor of the mods

4. Having that being said, what is your fav type of thread to see?

Simple. Threads that I make that generate a lot of replies/anxiety over why I haven't updated in over a month.

5. Hit me with some wisdom, a quote you like.

"Wisdom! Eh, Wisdom dog! Get that %$#^ salesman off my lawn!"

"A glass half empty is better than a full glass broken."

6.What is one thing you wish the rest of CAA knew about you?

That I am Kokoro Daisuke, and the one who you think is Kokoro Daisuke is Steve Buscemi.

7.Ok, classic question. Ability to fly, or a tail?

I know it may irritate you if I try to compromise, so I won't. Flight would be nice, but if I had a tail, I could convince pasty white DBZ fanbois the country over that I am a Saiyan and then they would worship me. But... naw, forget I said that. Idol worship is bad. I once caught a guy offering food to a statue of Ganesh. I kicked him in the posterior, then I ate his liver with some fava beans and a light chianti *schschschsch*

8.Your at a con when you see a large man chasing all the school girls around...what do you do?

I'm pretty sure that *I* am the guy chasing the school girl around. If not, I would ask the administration to ban mitsuki lover.

9.(sent in by Chris) If a bird flys over your head, and leaves you a gift...what is your first thought?

"Was that an African swallow or a European swallow?

10.What Celeb do you want to see run for office next?

Ike Eisenhower, if only he wasn't already President and dead.

11.Between Hilary Clinton and Ted Kennedy who would win a death match?

Hillary, unless bodies of water were involved.

12.You are the leader of your own Cuba style country. How do you keep your people loyal?

Threaten to send Kaemmerite over to their houses at night and pluck out their ear hair with his teeth if they don't follow my brutal commands.

13.This is the hardest question I have ever asked. I hope your ready. I won't tell you what the question is...but what is the answer, and why?

Someone is being lazy tonight.

[bigsleepj]

That was very....Ingemar. Thanks for the quick update!!

[Scribs]

Very nice as always. keep up the good work.

[Yumie]

Good jorb. Very funny, Ingemar. And Steve.

[indyrocker]

mmm now I must aspire to be more evil *ponders how to be more evil*

[termyt]

>>Hillary, unless bodies of water were involved.

Good answer.

[Rachel]

Good stuff, y'all, good stuff.

[truthgone12]

Best show ever.

[Doubleshadow]

>>Hillary, unless bodies of water were involved.

Good answer.

Don't get it. Otherwise, very good both of you.

[starfire]

A vague reference to "Whitewater" maybe? Stabbing in the dark here.

And, yes, great show, as always. Still needs more ninjas.^^

[Ingemar]

Don't get it. Otherwise, very good both of you.

Look up "Chappaquiddick" on Google.

[termyt]

Look up "Chappaquiddick" on Google.

Ingemar: Remembering the Tradegy of Mary Jo Kopechne to the Next Generation.

[bigsleepj]

Anyway, I wonder who shall be next to grace the Inbox of Shatterheart with a Q&A session.

[mechana2015]

it'll be a girl next I think....

[Myoti]

Where did this go? I want to see more!! ^o^

[Stephen]

There is a reason I let it sink...and did not post on it. I don't have the time these days to do it. It will be back at some point...but not for now.