ok...so...i wanna leave as soon as possible...but...i mean...not like...right away...just like...sometime after high school. the thing is...my mom doesn't want me to. she like...wants me to leave when i'm like...25 or so. i only want to bcuz i can't stand being around my dad...at all...and i think he's realized that. i mean...i've always wanted to have a good relationship with my dad...but...he just doesn't even care anymore. i guess...in a way...i've never been able to forgive him for all the crap he's put me and my mom through. my mom's told me that when i leave that there won't be much of a chance that they'll stay together. i pray that doesn't happen...i don't want her to live her life alone...and i love her and all but...i don't want to have to live with her forever. anyway...i don't know how much longer i can take him...and the things he says. so...either pray that i can live through more of what's ahead...or that i find a good job soon...cuz...i don't know how much more i can take of this...
[/end of prayer 1]
~*~*~
ok...another thing...my schoolin'. i slacked a lot sophmore and junior year(started to pick up towards the end of junior year though so that's good) and my family knows that...yet they expect me to graduate with the rest of my grade...but i'm afraid i'll disapoint them. my family already thinks i'm a mess up...and i want them to stop thinking of me that way...plz pray that i focus on my studies this year...so i can graduate...i REALLY don't want to have to stay another year...cuz then it means another year of my dad's "voice".
[/end of prayer 2]
~*~*~
one last thing...my health...i haven't really been sleeping good...mostly going to bed late...then waking up late...and sometimes not even going to bed at all. this is mainly bcuz of dreams...i have dreams that scare me...and then the next day i don't want to sleep at all bcuz i'm afraid i'll have another dream like that...or something...and...it's probably the cause of my stupid health...you see...i still cough a lot...and i still get the taste of blood...or what seems like blood...and it's gross...and i'm still getting dizzy a lot. the thing is...i just went to the doctor about a week ago...and she said i was perfectly fine...so much she knows. oh well...anyways...plz pray for that. thanks.
[/end of prayer requests]
~chris
wanting to leave home (and other things)
11 posts •
Page 1 of 1
wanting to leave home (and other things)
[color="DarkOrange"]"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things... hey... the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor
"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
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c.t.,girl - Posts: 1428
- Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2004 9:00 am
- Location: BEHIND YOU.
i feel sorry for you. I pray that God can hep you about it.
can you say something about your dad? probably you misunderstood him. Maybe he's like that for some reason. Anyway, what's wrong with him?
so, you're having problems with school. it's hard, really. i myself am having a major, emergency, at the edge, very crucial problem in school right now. I feel that i could almost see myself begging on the streets. but somehow, i know that God promises me a good future. I know that he promises that i would graduate in school.
Also, your parents might think that your messed up. But it doesn't matter what your parents, your friends, even president Bush thinks about you. What matters is what God thinks about you...and he thinks about you lovingly.
It doesn't matter if others got an A, while you got an F, as long as you put your trust in God.
about your health, you're probably stressed. Me too, i'm stressed. I even felt some chest pains a while ago. But this stress isn't gonna stop me from doing what God wants me to do. I'm still gonna fulfill God's will and go on studying although i've got mostly F's (it's true). I advice that you don't worry much. Probably it's depression.
Remember, God's in control, whether in pain or in comfort.
and regarding in a thread where you said you don't know where to start, a friend once told me to start in Mark because it's not heavy in meaning.
If you want a chapter with many lessons, i suggest Romans, but it's kinda deep in some meanings.
can you say something about your dad? probably you misunderstood him. Maybe he's like that for some reason. Anyway, what's wrong with him?
so, you're having problems with school. it's hard, really. i myself am having a major, emergency, at the edge, very crucial problem in school right now. I feel that i could almost see myself begging on the streets. but somehow, i know that God promises me a good future. I know that he promises that i would graduate in school.
Also, your parents might think that your messed up. But it doesn't matter what your parents, your friends, even president Bush thinks about you. What matters is what God thinks about you...and he thinks about you lovingly.
It doesn't matter if others got an A, while you got an F, as long as you put your trust in God.
about your health, you're probably stressed. Me too, i'm stressed. I even felt some chest pains a while ago. But this stress isn't gonna stop me from doing what God wants me to do. I'm still gonna fulfill God's will and go on studying although i've got mostly F's (it's true). I advice that you don't worry much. Probably it's depression.
Remember, God's in control, whether in pain or in comfort.
and regarding in a thread where you said you don't know where to start, a friend once told me to start in Mark because it's not heavy in meaning.
If you want a chapter with many lessons, i suggest Romans, but it's kinda deep in some meanings.
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snow_Rock - Posts: 88
- Joined: Sun May 01, 2005 5:49 am
- Location: there's gotta be a way outta here
my dad's been like this ever since i got into school...he's always saying things to put me down...always...either that or towards my mom...and i hate it even more when he does that.
eh...i know my mom just cares that i try my hardest...but...my dad and the rest of my family keep saying i have to do the best...yet they also expeted me to end up just like them...married at a young age or having a boyfriend or else pregnant or already had a kid. my family is messed up.
and my health...well...it's always been messed up...and i too get chest pains...and back pains...and...ok this'll be a long list if i drag it all out...and i don't think anyone wants to read that list...>_> anyways...there's more to the health crap than just that...but...it's to much for me to type. anyways...i don't like to put a crutch on it and say i'm depressive or stuff like that...i'm weird like that...yeah. hehe.
eh...i know my mom just cares that i try my hardest...but...my dad and the rest of my family keep saying i have to do the best...yet they also expeted me to end up just like them...married at a young age or having a boyfriend or else pregnant or already had a kid. my family is messed up.
and my health...well...it's always been messed up...and i too get chest pains...and back pains...and...ok this'll be a long list if i drag it all out...and i don't think anyone wants to read that list...>_> anyways...there's more to the health crap than just that...but...it's to much for me to type. anyways...i don't like to put a crutch on it and say i'm depressive or stuff like that...i'm weird like that...yeah. hehe.
[color="DarkOrange"]"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things... hey... the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor
"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
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c.t.,girl - Posts: 1428
- Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2004 9:00 am
- Location: BEHIND YOU.
I'll be praying for you, c.t.,girl.
Have you and your mom sat down and really talked about you wanting to move? Cuz my parents were entirely against the idea of me moving until we talked. They're letting me move now, but it's still under mild amounts of protest. (But any progress is good, right?)
Have you and your mom sat down and really talked about you wanting to move? Cuz my parents were entirely against the idea of me moving until we talked. They're letting me move now, but it's still under mild amounts of protest. (But any progress is good, right?)
The choice has been made. There's no looking back. I won't let up, back up, give up, or shut up. My focus clear. My path is straight. My God, reliable. I'm a disciple of Christ.
Gods plan is like the sun. its too big and bright to look at directly, and sometimes the rain clouds cover it, but sometimes the plan dapples through the clouds and we can see beautiful glimpses of what he has in store for us.
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Spirit_Wolf8356 - Posts: 1146
- Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2004 7:36 am
- Location: Maryland, USA
I agree with spirit wolf. You really need to sit down and talk to your mom. See if there is a decent relative that you can move in with. Don't give up on your studies. Try your best and get through this last year. You can do it, you have done it so far. Then you can get into a good college and move away from there. You can get a job and go to school. A lot of people do that.
And, about the dreams. I know what you mean. You stay up all night until you are just so exhausted your dreams wont be remembered and when you get up you have no energy. I use to have the most horrible dreams, I would just watch tv till 3,4,5 in the morning. Then I would have to get up at 6:30-7:00. It is the stress that causes them, I didn't get rid of them till I moved away from home (which was my stressful situation as well).
What I tried to do, and it worked sometimes, was watch something really happy before you go to sleep, like cartoons...or a funny movie. If you have a good friend, see if they will let you spend the night. It seemed when I went over to others houses to visit, I would have dreams that weren't horrible. You must find a way to calm your thoughts. Try a little light exercising. I did that for a little while, when I had the chance, and I didn't have a nightmare once while I was exercising.
If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. Maybe I could offer suggestions on your options for after you get out of school. I have learned a lot over the last few years about how it is to be on your own and be in school. I have learned a lot about how a college/university works as well.
Just don't give up on yourself. You can make it out of there.
-DragonSleeping
And, about the dreams. I know what you mean. You stay up all night until you are just so exhausted your dreams wont be remembered and when you get up you have no energy. I use to have the most horrible dreams, I would just watch tv till 3,4,5 in the morning. Then I would have to get up at 6:30-7:00. It is the stress that causes them, I didn't get rid of them till I moved away from home (which was my stressful situation as well).
What I tried to do, and it worked sometimes, was watch something really happy before you go to sleep, like cartoons...or a funny movie. If you have a good friend, see if they will let you spend the night. It seemed when I went over to others houses to visit, I would have dreams that weren't horrible. You must find a way to calm your thoughts. Try a little light exercising. I did that for a little while, when I had the chance, and I didn't have a nightmare once while I was exercising.
If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. Maybe I could offer suggestions on your options for after you get out of school. I have learned a lot over the last few years about how it is to be on your own and be in school. I have learned a lot about how a college/university works as well.
Just don't give up on yourself. You can make it out of there.
-DragonSleeping
<Mithrandir> Time flies like an arrow....
<Mithrandir> Fruit flies like a banana.
<Mithrandir> Fruit flies like a banana.
- dragonsleeping
- Posts: 50
- Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2005 12:24 pm
- Location: Georgia
Hey I'll be praying.
Crusader's Oath:
I, (state your name), promise to lay down my life for Jesus. To fight all my daily battles for Him. To dedicate my whole life and time to Him. To never cease in doing His commands. And to gladly fulfill my purpose and fearlessly go into battle with teh assurance of victory!!!
I, (state your name), promise to lay down my life for Jesus. To fight all my daily battles for Him. To dedicate my whole life and time to Him. To never cease in doing His commands. And to gladly fulfill my purpose and fearlessly go into battle with teh assurance of victory!!!
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lostlamb99 - Posts: 83
- Joined: Fri Jun 17, 2005 10:58 am
- Location: Philippines (Currently in Saudi Arabia)
That's understandable. There's been plenty of times that I've just wanted to walk right out of my house for good. But we should never live our life just make others happy or together. Well, it may be hurting them or make them much more unhappy in the long run. My mom left my real dad when I was about 2yr old. My father was immature, addicted to porn and would make my mom feel worthless all the time by checking out and flirting with other girls ans such. He would also call my mom names (mostly really inappropriate ones) and just do horrible things. As much as I love my dad, it was the right thing for my mom to do. She didn't deserve that, no one does. My mother didn't want us growing up in that kind of environment; and that I can understand. We had some hard times growing up, but it worked out. My mom eventually remarried and has been with him since I was in 7th grade.
If it's meant to be, then in time things will work out or repatch. Only time can tell. But I can understand how you feel because feeling lonely can really suck. Tht fact you don't want you mother to experience that is admirable.
So I'll definatily be praying for your situation and relationship between you and your father.
I'll also be praying for your school year and your health/sleeping. Sounds like a dilemma indeed. I pray that the horrible dreams pass so that you can have a good nights sleep again. Maybe some uplifthing music before bed may help... *shrugs*
You're in my prayers.
If it's meant to be, then in time things will work out or repatch. Only time can tell. But I can understand how you feel because feeling lonely can really suck. Tht fact you don't want you mother to experience that is admirable.
So I'll definatily be praying for your situation and relationship between you and your father.
I'll also be praying for your school year and your health/sleeping. Sounds like a dilemma indeed. I pray that the horrible dreams pass so that you can have a good nights sleep again. Maybe some uplifthing music before bed may help... *shrugs*
You're in my prayers.
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine.." Prov 17:22
The word 'impossible' isn't in my dictionary... but I don't really have a dictionary you know? - Eikichi Onizuka.
Sorry, but I stop being a teacher at 5 o'clock. - Eikichi Onizuka.
The word 'impossible' isn't in my dictionary... but I don't really have a dictionary you know? - Eikichi Onizuka.
Sorry, but I stop being a teacher at 5 o'clock. - Eikichi Onizuka.
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agasfas - Posts: 2341
- Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 7:27 pm
- Location: Austin, TX
first off...thank you all for your prayers...
yes...i have talked to my mom about it...but she still doesn't want me to leave. we've gotten in a big argument about it one day...and after that she has barely touched the subject...but i always seem to remind her, "hey...you know i'm not always gunna be able to stick around...i can't handle him much longer." she just says she knows.
oh no...trust me...i remember the dreams...yet i DON'T want to. they either scare the crap out of me or make me miss the past...and it's hard to miss the past. oh...and i've tried just about everything...yet...you see...i have insomnia...and it's hard for me to sleep...so...if i go to bed early...i just lay there with my eyes open...and toss and turn for hours...it drives me mad!
well...i kinda don't see my dad changing...ever...and my mom's already been devorced...and she remarried...to my dad. and...thank you(the admirable part).
i've tried music...soft music, like classical and stuff like that while i'm sleeping...but it just seems to keep me up. and i'm always listening to happy music...or watching something happy b4 bed...but...iono...i just can't sleep right.
I'll be praying for you, c.t.,girl.
Have you and your mom sat down and really talked about you wanting to move? Cuz my parents were entirely against the idea of me moving until we talked. They're letting me move now, but it's still under mild amounts of protest. (But any progress is good, right?)
yes...i have talked to my mom about it...but she still doesn't want me to leave. we've gotten in a big argument about it one day...and after that she has barely touched the subject...but i always seem to remind her, "hey...you know i'm not always gunna be able to stick around...i can't handle him much longer." she just says she knows.
And, about the dreams. I know what you mean. You stay up all night until you are just so exhausted your dreams wont be remembered and when you get up you have no energy. I use to have the most horrible dreams, I would just watch tv till 3,4,5 in the morning. Then I would have to get up at 6:30-7:00. It is the stress that causes them, I didn't get rid of them till I moved away from home (which was my stressful situation as well).
What I tried to do, and it worked sometimes, was watch something really happy before you go to sleep, like cartoons...or a funny movie. If you have a good friend, see if they will let you spend the night. It seemed when I went over to others houses to visit, I would have dreams that were horrible. You must find a way to calm your thoughts. Try a little light exercising. I did that for a little while, when I had the chance, and I didn't have a nightmare once while I was exercising.
oh no...trust me...i remember the dreams...yet i DON'T want to. they either scare the crap out of me or make me miss the past...and it's hard to miss the past. oh...and i've tried just about everything...yet...you see...i have insomnia...and it's hard for me to sleep...so...if i go to bed early...i just lay there with my eyes open...and toss and turn for hours...it drives me mad!
If it's meant to be, then in time things will work out or repatch. Only time can tell. But I can understand how you feel because feeling lonely can really suck. Tht fact you don't want you mother to experience that is admirable.
So I'll definatily be praying for your situation and relationship between you and your father.
I'll also be praying for your school year and your health/sleeping. Sounds like a dilemma indeed. I pray that the horrible dreams pass so that you can have a good nights sleep again. Maybe some uplifthing music before bed may help... *shrugs*
well...i kinda don't see my dad changing...ever...and my mom's already been devorced...and she remarried...to my dad. and...thank you(the admirable part).
i've tried music...soft music, like classical and stuff like that while i'm sleeping...but it just seems to keep me up. and i'm always listening to happy music...or watching something happy b4 bed...but...iono...i just can't sleep right.
[color="DarkOrange"]"The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things... hey... the good things don't always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant." -11th Doctor
"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
"The advice I like to give young artists, or really anybody who’ll listen to me, is not to wait around for inspiration. Inspiration is for amateurs; the rest of us just show up and get to work. If you wait around for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning to strike you in the brain, you are not going to make an awful lot of work. All the best ideas come out of the process; they come out of the work itself. Things occur to you. If you’re sitting around trying to dream up a great art idea, you can sit there a long time before anything happens. But if you just get to work, something will occur to you and something else will occur to you and something else that you reject will push you in another direction. Inspiration is absolutely unnecessary and somehow deceptive. You feel like you need this great idea before you can get down to work, and I find that’s almost never the case." - Chuck Close[/color]
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c.t.,girl - Posts: 1428
- Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2004 9:00 am
- Location: BEHIND YOU.
Hey, I'll be praying for you. I'll pray for your relationship with your dad to improve. I don't know what it's like to have bad parents, but I know how miserable it can be if you're not getting along with them. I just pray that you would both draw closer to the Lord and that He would mend your relationship. I'll also pray for your health, your sleep and school as well. As far as school is concerned, do your best, honor God and it will be fine 
sometimes even when we give our best effort, we disappoint people, but we always have to do the best we can with what we have, even if we've made some mistakes.
sometimes even when we give our best effort, we disappoint people, but we always have to do the best we can with what we have, even if we've made some mistakes.
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Syreth - Posts: 1360
- Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2004 3:12 pm
- Location: Central Washington
You have my prayer, for all the things you listed, I got em all covered with prayer.
I'm actually gonna come back here and comment a tad more on things, but for now just know that I'm praying for you. I hope everytying turns out alrgith, and the God gives you wisdom and understanding to handle each situation as it comes, and that you recieve peace and healing so you can recieve the rest you dearly need, and any other trial that comes your way, whammo! Got it covered with prayer, but I'll be back to comment a little bit more.
God Bless,
Archan
I'm actually gonna come back here and comment a tad more on things, but for now just know that I'm praying for you. I hope everytying turns out alrgith, and the God gives you wisdom and understanding to handle each situation as it comes, and that you recieve peace and healing so you can recieve the rest you dearly need, and any other trial that comes your way, whammo! Got it covered with prayer, but I'll be back to comment a little bit more.
God Bless,
Archan
1 Peter 5:10 "But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you."
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Archan - Posts: 472
- Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2003 12:19 pm
- Location: Hold on, "Baratta Klaatu Nikto" Now Currently fighting evil, saving puppies, that sort of
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