A Prayer for a friend and me.

[Banana-chan]

Recently I've been hanging out with a guy that I met at the recent Anime Kon that was here. ((He's 21)) He and I get along great, talking about Naruto, any manga, life, the ninja village he made, etc. I guess you could say i sorta looked up to him like an older brother or something.

Well a few days ago we were joking around and i said something that i didnt think he would take so personal. At first he put his surprised shocked expression on but then suddenly he started acting real cold towards me and our other friends.

That same night he had gotten himself drunk over the whole situation ((shows you how responsible he is))

The next day one of my friends who had been indirectly involved in this talked to him and she got him to open up and admit to her that he had been childish and it was stupid for him to direct his anger at HER. So basically he was still mad at me.

He had accused me of thinking he was an idiot. He accused me of trying to "wedge" myself between him and his other female friends, because i "wanted" him for myself. So then he started to cuss me out.

I cant say my reaction was much more mature but what i said is "if youre not willing to listen to my apology or give me a chance to explain what i meant then youre obviously not a good friend." I realized what i said the day after. I had blocked him on all messengers, got myself banned from a website he's the head admin on, Plus i had also gotten a "talk" ((more like yell)) from another girl who hung with us ((she's 13)) and she was trying to tell me i was out of line but i told her not to put me back on the guilt road i had just put myself on.

I hung up on her.

That last fiasco happened about 2 days ago. Up to today i have unblocked him but not said a word to him, and i saw him when a group of our friends went Ice Skating. He acted cold towards me and did his best to exclude me from any talk with other friends of ours.

I'm asking you all for prayer for him, to find understanding. And I'm asking you to pray for me because I'm not one to lose friends well. This whole situation has sent me into a world of depression and its killing me. When i saw him today i had to try so hard not to cry. I had excused myself about 4 times just to go to the bathroom and let it out.

I know it seems odd that i would want his frienship back after the things he said to me but i feel so empty not having him around. It takes all my will power not to call him or to talk to him at all.

Please Pray for Peace between him and me.

Thanks

*~Banana-chan~*

[kumiko213]

i'm praying 4 you and him

[Gala]

thats pretty rough....i hope everything turns out alright. i will pray for the both of you.

[true_noir_chloe]

Hey B-Chan, I am definitely praying for you and always do.

Next, I'm going to say something you may not want to hear and I think its valid for me to write this here because there are so many under-18-year-olds. PM me if you want to talk on this further.

I'm not sure what I write to you is about a Christian or not, because you wrote that you met him at a con, but nothing about him being a Christian. I hope he is a Christian.

When you are a Christian you understand forgiveness VERY well, because Christ forgave you for your sin - ALL your sin when you asked Him into your heart as your Savior. You realize how horrible a sinner you are to the point you asked Christ's forgiveness of your sin and He loves you asking nothing in return, but for you to call Him, Lord and believe He is God and Who He says He is.

"That if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved; for with the heart man believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, "WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED." Romans 9:9-11

So, if this man is a Christian he will eventually have to forgive, because the Holy Spirit will be constantly bashing at his heart if he doesn't. This will come out in anger, rage and what he seems to be doing to you - making you feel small, guilty and insignificant.

However, the qualities of immaturity can be in both Christians and non-Christians.

This man, if he is supposedly 21, an admin, and hanging out with "jail bait" should have some maturity. He should NEVER have hung out with an under-age young lady. That in itself says very much about this guy to me, and I'd guess any of the more mature 21-year-old and over males on this site. I can assure you Omega Amen, Kaji, CBWing and Mithrandir would not be caught alone with a girl under 18. They'd have more sense.

He's 21, for goodness sake, and he's immature, erratical, and I'm guessing, since I once met you in person and know you're a pretty savvy kid, probably pegged him and his immaturity right on the head when you told him what you did.

I think if you are not around him the Lord is watching out for you, B-chan. I know the sadness is horrible when you lose a friend, but I think Aka would even agree with me here, he's not worth having as a friend and be thankful he's closing the door.

You are still very young and under 18 and this guy is 21. He should be the one acting mature and that is really his responsibility - much more than yours. Especially, because he is supposedly an admin of a site, you'd think he had some maturity. Frankly, I don't see it from what you've written here that he has maturity whatsoever and will probably have admin on an internet site as his only claim to fame.

PM or IM if you ever want to talk. I hope you are doing alright. ^________^

[Banana-chan]

Thanks TNC but to answer your question, he was brought up in a Catholic household but he's not a Christian. He has constructed kind of his own beliefs and it gets him by pretty ok.

The other thing about his maturity level is that I completely agree that he hasnt been mature about it, He's completely over reacting and its affecting me horridly because he'll openly insult me in front of other friends. I most definetely, at this point, KNOW that things will never go back to the way they were even if we made a truce.

And lastly, Thank you all for your prayers ^.^

[Archan]

Thanks TNC but to answer your question, he was brought up in a Catholic household but he's not a Christian. He has constructed kind of his own beliefs and it gets him by pretty ok.

The other thing about his maturity level is that I completely agree that he hasnt been mature about it, He's completely over reacting and its affecting me horridly because he'll openly insult me in front of other friends. I most definetely, at this point, KNOW that things will never go back to the way they were even if we made a truce.

And lastly, Thank you all for your prayers ^.^

Woah, thats heavy.

T.N.C. has the best advice here, I agree with her whole heartedly. I know it's hard to loose friends, and then see as those same former friends transform right infront of you into something you never thought they were capable of. But as T.N.C. said, I think God is removing this guy from your life for a reason, and from what I'm reading about his actions and such, it's a good thing. A person who can be so two sided about the most mundane thing as misunderstanding, well, thats just not a good person to be around. His age dictates him to be more mature then that, and obviously he's not.

You have my prayers, that God's peace finds you, that He gives you wisdom and coucil on what to do and how to handle this persons actions and such, and that you recieve the answers you seek on what exactly to do. However, don't waste your time, and even less your tears on this guy, I personally don't think he's worth it, and you diserve better then a guy who treats a younger person he be-friended so badly.

God Bless,
Archan

[dragonshimmer]

I'm going to echo and say that t_n_c has some really good thoughts on this, lovely. I'll keep the situation in my prayers and pray that you both gain a sense of peace about this.

[Yumie]

I hope things work out alright for you. Most importantly though, if you've said you know he's not a Christian, then this might be a really good opportunity for you to behave in the right way, and use the way you handle the situation to wittness to him. Anyways, I don't know enough about the situation to really give any more advice, so I'll just leave it at that.

[Banana-chan]

Thanks guys. Just an Update. My friend has been keeping in touch with him and she says he seems to be goofing off with friends again, that some of the things he said about and to me were pretty harsh, and that he admits that it was sort of a stupid fight ((but this is to her lol)). I'd say that I'll give it a month before I try and talk to him again. He said to her that he merely complied with my wishes that i remove myself from him, and you know maybe he really did do that comply with my wishes, but i cant red minds you know? ^^;;;

But thank you all for keeping me in your prayers once more ^^

[Archan]

[quote="Banana-chan"]Thanks guys. Just an Update. My friend has been keeping in touch with him and she says he seems to be goofing off with friends again, that some of the things he said about and to me were pretty harsh, and that he admits that it was sort of a stupid fight ((but this is to her lol)). I'd say that I'll give it a month before I try and talk to him again. He said to her that he merely complied with my wishes that i remove myself from him, and you know maybe he really did do that comply with my wishes, but i cant red minds you know? ^^]

Good to hear,
However, concerning his initial reaction and such, well, do you really want to talk with him again? I mean, for a 21 year old guy to act in such a manner, well, that kind of send a bunch of little red flags up in the air as far as I'm concerned. Hummmm, I dunno, just seems like you would be much more at peace not having to play such childish games with a 21 year old that acts like he's 13. But then again I've never meet the guy, so, perhaps I'm being too harsh, still think he needs to do some growin' on his own though....

Anyways, still prayin for ya.
God bless,
Archan

[Banana-chan]

Heh actually thats one reason i like hanging with him. It's because he acts younger and thats one reason its so much easier for me to relate with him. But i wouldnt say 13...maybe 16-year-old dramatic teen in a 21-year-old body

[Archan]

[quote="Banana-chan"]Heh actually thats one reason i like hanging with him. It's because he acts younger and thats one reason its so much easier for me to relate with him. But i wouldnt say 13...maybe 16-year-old dramatic teen in a 21-year-old body ]

*Laughs*

I understand, it's hard to find a person who can still relate with the inner child in them. Regardless, though, as this friend of yours seems to have displayed, there's a difference between relating with the inner child in you and actually being that inner child.....I'd give him some more time to mature personally, just continue to pray for him...you continue to have my prayers.

God bless Banana-Chan (<-----I was gonna say God bless Banana...Then decided against it for obvious reasons )
Archan