backslidden...hmm...I just wrote this for someone else but you look like you could use it too... Backslidden is actually very easy to beat if you are willing to pay the price. And what is the price? Compleltly giving your life to doing the will of God... I believe the best thing for you to do right now, to get over the backslidden, is to stop thinking about yourself, start thinking about God more, and not in a way as to make God fit to what you want. I belive you need to seriously ask what he wants, and what is his will. "His will be done," and not ours, and this is for the best of reasons. God has a plan for you, but you have to give in to what he wants and not what you want. Did you ever take time to ask if this marriage is what God wants for you? Did you ever take time to ask God if this guy is right for you? Have you ever taken the time to ask God if what you are doing with your life is what he wants for you? God told the prophet Jeremiah these words for a reason, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) God has something so wonderful planed for you and your life. You are more special to him then you could ever imagine, but if you want to live a life pleasing to God then you have to give up living where God is not the main focus. I suggest that you seriously think and pray about the issue of whether or not you are living a life that puts God first...in all things... In your relationships, in your finances, in your job, in how you treat others, in how you treat yourself, and in all aspects of your life... Is God first?
"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." ~ Matthew 6:9-10
Well I'm praying for you, and I pray you will start living for God, afterall it is the best place to be.
God Bless
HS5000