Thank you Jesus

[EireWolf]

That's funny! ... and sad, all at once. I checked out the site... It seems like anyone that breathes is ordained.

[bemanisuperstar]

How do they know...?

Quuestion... What kind of 'seminary' books do you have? I'd be interested to see if I have any of the same ones from when I was studying to be a minister.

I'll check. and Send you a PM later

[Michael]

<Joke applications aren't accpected. Nor are animals.>

Don't take it personally. I find it ridiculous and blasphemous that you can become a pastor over the web. I'm going to leave it at that.

[Mithrandir]

OK... I'll go dreg all mine up too.. Where's my Imre Stoamp text. Great material that. So applicable these days...

[MillyFan]

Joke applications aren't accpected. Nor are animals.

All right, I love nothing more than a challenge. Observe. (Note to mods: Please don't ban me for what I applied as or my "information." That's part of my attempt to prove they will ordain anything that moves.)

Exhibit A, this copy-paste of my "ordination certificate" recieved by applying with the name "High Priestess Of Yaoi," the street address "1010 KnivesLovesLegato Avenue," the city name "Squealing," a made-up postal code, and "None Of Your Business" for the country:



This is to certify that the bearer hereof
Reverend High Priestess Of Yaoi

has been ordained this Saturday, November First, 2003 .





HEADQUARTERS: 601 3RD ST., MODESTO, CALIF. 95351 (209) 527-8111



http://www.ulc.org



---------------------- cut here ----------------------



Exhibit B:

This nice e-mail I was sent (also copied-pasted):

This message is not flagged. [ Flag Message - Mark as Unread ]

Date: Sat, 1 Nov 2003 10:30:28 UT
From: ulcministry@ulc.org | Add to Address Book
To: "High Priestess Of Yaoi" <bishiefangirl@yahoo.com>

Subject: Subscription Confirmation




Hello

Thank you for subscribing to the ULC Ordination Newsletter. Please
confirm your subscription by clicking once on the link below or copying and
pasting it into your browser.

http://www.ulc.org/cgi-bin/arp3/arp3-confirm.pl?p=1067682628.202548

Thank you.


I rest my case. They DO accept joke ordinations: and I have one to prove it. Because I'm not looking to ever use this, I faked everything to where it is totally invalid (unless there is ever a country named None Of Your Business).

I don't want to be

[Bobtheduck]

An ordaination is not something to be gotten by filling out an application or stamping a piece of paper... Any church that ordains someone they've never met is fake... I'm sorry to say, to make someone a leader in a church requires a lot of discipleship and mentoring, and study and prayer... If you can get "ordained" by sending in an application, it's either a huge saccreligious farce or a heretical doctrine...

That "application" that milly fan sent in was pretty humourous but I don't find this very funny... I mean, weren't they featured on "unscrewed"? I think that shoule be a hint as to their validity. (maybe that was another similar group... Sorry, I try not to watch that show unless I'm SoN and then it actually seems sorta funny, and I haven't watched it since soon after it started... Oh, and I um... well, I shouldn't really have watched it at all, but I did... don't watch it, it's not a good show... I don't anymore)

You said something about seminary books and such at home... Sorry to say, this does NOT count... You need to have people who've been at it longer than you, aka elders, to guide you along... You can't really have a fruitfull Christian life aside from that, let alone become a leader which is even MORE specific in its requirements. If you think you can do it alone, even with all the books and lectures and reading the bible in 14 english translations and in Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic (which you had mastered) seven times a piece, you still wouldn't have quallified to be a leader in the church... That only comes by leadership... Before you can even BEGIN to become a leader in a church, you need to come under the guidance of people who have more experience and widom than you. Aside from that, you're in big trouble... Christians cannot be Lone Rangers... If you are, you will fall (with a very few exceptions in tasks that people are forced to be by themselves.)

I mean, if someone like, say, me could get ordained right now, it really would mean serious problems because I haven't lived in service to the church I'm a part of for any period of time, the people don't know me, and they don't know what kind of secret life I may lead... Ordaination is something that needs to be done very carefully... Nothing about Christian living is anonymous, and especially not the training to become a leader (Pastor, priest, minister, bishop, reverend whatever name you want to give it.) Making it anonymous = murdering the church... Plain and simple... Not "Well, it could" it will...

[Azier the Swordsman]

You shouldn't even try to become a minister unless your heart's completely right with God. If you have a swearing problem like you say, you should pray to God to take this problem away from. If you really want to be a minister for God, you should really take seminary. Anyways, welcome to the boards.

[Azier the Swordsman]

Another thing I would like to add:

My dad's a pastor, and I have persoanlly seen all the behind the scenes work that goes on in the church. It's a lot of VERY hard work. Plus, if it's not God's will, it will fall flat. This is something you should seek VERY carefully with God.

[bemanisuperstar]

You shouldn't even try to become a minister unless your heart's completely right with God. If you have a swearing problem like you say, you should pray to God to take this problem away from. If you really want to be a minister for God, you should really take seminary. Anyways, welcome to the boards.

I dont really swear out loud just in my blog.

remember we're all ministers. I just have a piece if paper saying Reverend John Weston on it

[Michael]

<remember we're all ministers.>

No, we all spread God's word, however, ministers are ordained by God. They watch over the flock.

I don't want you to think that we're ganging up on you. Remember what Proverbs says: ''Rebuke a wise man and you add to his wisdom.''

If you are indeed a man of God, our rebukes are meant to help you. If you're here to make trouble, (which I'm not saying that you are,) then none of this will help you. I'll leave it up to God.

[bemanisuperstar]

<remember we're all ministers.>

No, we all spread God's word, however, ministers are ordained by God. They watch over the flock.

I don't want you to think that we're ganging up on you. Remember what Proverbs says: ''Rebuke a wise man and you add to his wisdom.''

If you are indeed a man of God, our rebukes are meant to help you. If you're here to make trouble, (which I'm not saying that you are,) then none of this will help you. I'll leave it up to God.

We're all ministers meaning We are all called to "minister" to people to help spead God's good work.

Not ministers in the sense of Ordained and can perform some duities.

[MillyFan]

Oh by the way, the ULC is not only an ordination mill, but they also have a nice sideline in spam. So far, since I submitted my application to prove my point as to their fraudulent nature, my address that I gave them (bishiefangirlNOSPAM@yahoo.com without the nospam) has gotten more than 100 spam mails. I got 31 spams to it today alone, for everything from "male enhancement" to home loans.

So the moral to this investigation is: don't go the Universal Life Church route for your phony ordination unless you want to pay the price-in spam, that is.

[CephasWhite]

Welcome fellow Christian Warrior. See you on the boards.