need help

Postby **steelbeliever** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 11:09 am

okay...some of you may not understand, but in the last three hours...i got twelve calls from my husband-to-be and they're not as good as I'd have hoped...he says that maybe this isn't such a good idea and we need to maybe postpone marriage and see other people... :shady:

...this for me is like saying, "i've found someone else i like better so i'm dumping you"...my heart is breaking and i need some help...how do i react to this without killing myself...i mean...i'm sure you know how it feels when you think you found the right person and suddenly they wanted to bail on you...i'm so deppressed...guys...i really need some support and prayer...

Postby **Locke** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 11:45 am

I'll still be praying for you ^_^

Postby **Sonic_13** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 11:50 am

ow.... I'm so sorry to hear this =( I pray that things will look up for you

Postby **Danyasaur** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 11:58 am

*gives you a hug* I'm sorry to hear that, I'll be praying for you. ^_^

Postby **White Raven** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:03 pm

Have you tried to talk to him.
Maybe it's just cold feet.
I will be praying for you.

Postby **Knives** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:06 pm

steelbeliever wrote:okay...some of you may not understand, but in the last three hours...i got twelve calls from my husband-to-be and they're not as good as I'd have hoped...he says that maybe this isn't such a good idea and we need to maybe postpone marriage and see other people... ...this for me is like saying, "i've found someone else i like better so i'm dumping you"...my heart is breaking and i need some help...how do i react to this without killing myself...i mean...i'm sure you know how it feels when you think you found the right person and suddenly they wanted to bail on you...i'm so deppressed...guys...i really need some support and prayer...

I will pray for you.

Postby **Slater** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:12 pm

:\

Baaaad timing for that. Just tell me... how long were you two an item before this? Have you done anything that you may regret in this relationship? Is he a stronger Christian than you?

Maybe you guys just went at this a breakneck speed and just ended up... well, breaking the neck of the relationship. But maybe it's just a temporary thing. If things were going well (and I mean really well, not just a heart-felt feeling thing), then Satan really wouldn't have a problem deciding to cause you trouble...

Website · Postby **Alice** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:20 pm

Have you asked him why he feels this way?

You know him better than we do, so your instincts may be correct, but you could also be misinterpretting things.

He may be afraid he can't provide for you or something. There are any number of fears and anxiets that might crop up before a wedding.

:/ Praying.

Postby **Slater** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:24 pm

oh yeah... that's definitly a fear that men who wish to fulfill the Biblican model of a husband face.

Edit: lol I made a new word.

Postby **inkhana** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 12:29 pm

Moved to the prayer room.

Postby **agasfas** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 2:16 pm

Hey I'm sorry to hear about that. I can only image what kind of heart break it must feel like. Although my advice giving isn't the best, why don't y'all try sitting down and talking about it. Perhaps he's scared, perhaps he doesn't know what to think, maybe he needs re-assurance.

Though, I wouldn't suggest the "seeing other people" thing. It's okay to postpone it to get your head clear and straight, but it's not right to play around with others emotions by dating others. So I hope he doesn't do that.

I know your a good person with a big heart. As long as you continue to have that, whether this guy is the "one" or not, you'll find someone who deserves you.

From expereince, broken hearts really hurt, but can heal in time. Anytime you need someone to talk to about whatever feel I'm always willing to listen. My PM or AIM is always open.

ANyways, you know i'll be praying for you.

Postby **Rogie** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 7:46 pm

I just thought I would go back and quote a recent prayer request you made:

steelbeliever wrote:alrighty...i was once again rpoposed to, but this guy i like...still it feels weird so i need some help with this issue. he's really sweet, God-fearing man etc, and i definitely could see myself spending my future with this guy, but then sometimes i get this feeling it would be all wrong...please pray that i'll make the right decision and that God will guide us down the right paths...even if we don't end up travelling it together...

You were asking that the Lord guide both of you regarding this, even if you ended up not marrying one another. Now I'm not saying that God is now leading both of you apart from one another, but I thought that it would be a good reminder to trust in God to guide you both and to let each of you know exactly what to do in this situation. He know what's best and He has plans for each of you; and it's definitely better to follow God's plan than your own... and I'm speaking from personal experience.

I hope this helps, and I'll be praying for you and for your fiance, that God's will be done in your lives and that He leads each of you. Keep us updated, too, okay?

Postby **holysoldier5000** » Wed Jul 13, 2005 8:34 pm

I am sorry to hear about your husband-to-be. I hope he is just facing last minute jitters, but he may have realized something very important. He may have realized that this isn't the perfect relationship. Now I know you don't want to hear that right now, but please listen to me. God has someone special picked out just for you, and in his time you will meet that person. Just remember to trust God during this time. God has a plan.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. ~ Proverbs 3:5

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 1:6

â€œFor I know the plans I have for you,â€

Postby **steelbeliever** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:01 am

as to answer some of your questions...

yes...we have talked more, but he's a little resistant to anything i have to say...he says i'm suffocating him...

i asked what brought this all on and he said his friends all ahve girlfriends...not wives...i guess his friends have been trying to hook him up with "other nice girls", but they can't because of me... :shady:

i've been doing some nonstop praying since like 3 this morning and i feel better about this whole thing...

i am definitely not gonna wiat for him to date around before we marry so if he starts doing that i'll jsut forget him...he's not worth my time...

i've had exeriences like this before so it does make me a little resistant to being forgiven, but i'll try...

i know we're not getting married anytime soon...it's for the best i know...

i prayed for him and with him and i loved him...and it wasn't just a "feeling"...apparently he didn't feel the same way...

my mom said maybe i was in love with the idea of really being in love...i dunno...

i'm still pretty mad about this and i appreciate all the support...it seems like when i'm busy...everything falls apart in my lap...

i am not proud to admit this...but i really do need prayer...i am coping but when he first said this i was so hurt i started cutting again and that was soemthing i swore i'd never do...please...keep praying...

Postby **c_hunter** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:40 am

Will do, I'll be praying..

Postby **Syreth** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 1:47 pm

I know somewhat how you must feel. I went through a similar situation. I'll sure be praying for you and I'm sorry to hear that this didn't work out. "I want to see other people," is such a stupid thing to say and a stupid attitude to have. Adam didn't need to go shopping for a wife. Isaac didn't either. Anyhow, take heart and allow the healing process to begin. I'll be praying for you, sister.

Postby **kazekami** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 5:04 pm

I'll pray for you as well.

Postby **holysoldier5000** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 7:07 pm

steelbeliever wrote: i was so hurt i started cutting again

I'm still praying for you. Please hear my words, they are not words to condemn but to help. I believe the best thing for you to do right now is stop thinking about yourself, start thinking about God more, and not in a way as to make God fit to what you want. I belive you need to seriously ask what he wants. "His will be done," and not ours, and this is for the best of reasons. God has a plan for you, but you have to give in to what he wants and not what you want. Did you ever take time to ask if this marriage is what God wants for you? Did you ever take time to ask God if this guy is right for you? Have you ever taken the time to ask God if what you are doing with your life is what he wants for you? God told the prophet Jeremiah these words for a reason, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) God has something so wonderful planed for you and your life. You are more special to him then you could ever imagine, but if you want to live a life pleasing to God then you have to give up living where God is not the main focus. I suggest that you seriously think and pray about the issue of whether or not you are living a life that puts God first...in all things... In your relationships, in your finances, in your job, in how you treat others, in how you treat yourself, and in all aspects of your life... Is God first?

"Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." ~ Matthew 6:9-10

I pray that things do get better for you, I have for many days now, and will continue.

God Bless
HS5000

Postby **heero yuy 95** » Thu Jul 14, 2005 9:27 pm

You'll be in my prayers.

Postby **agasfas** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 12:27 pm

I'll continue to pray for you. And I hope and pray that you don't cut anymore. We all care for you and all that does is continue a cycle of self-inflicted pain that wont end. Plus along with emotional bitterness you'll have physical signs of it. I know sometimes pain can be hard to cope with, but we are all here for you willing to give a shoulder to lean on and help comfort you. It's just not worth hurting yourself.

I've had so much bad things happen to me in the past I sometimes get discouraged. Then after talking to many friends, I always remember that things are bound to happen. I've never had a girlfriend and I sometimes find it difficult to have faith and trust in God's plan. Sounds selfish I know, but sometimes it's hard not to think it at times. No one really wants to feel lonely. God made us as caring compasionate beings... it's only natural for us to want to feel loved and cared for. But as much as I want it, I realized that sometimes things take time. God does have a plan for us, but sometimes we just need to allow God to work. I sometimes loose focus of that fact....

So if it is or isn't meant to work between you and your ex-fiance, then that only means God has someone better waiting for you. You're a great girl with a good heart.... so I know that you have someone great in store for you. Two times better.

Continue to have faith and be strong. We all care for you and wish the best. Perhaps I may not be able to comprehend how you feel, but if you ever need to talk or just let out some steam, I'm always willing to listen as I'm sure many people from CAA would.

I'll continue praying for you.

Postby **Razgriz** » Fri Jul 15, 2005 1:16 pm

I will pray.

need help

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