Do you ever feel that you're being judged?

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Do you ever feel that you're being judged?

Postby Aeolus21 » Mon Jul 04, 2005 8:20 pm

I was wondering if you guys have constantly felt that you're being judged in public? Whenever you are walking down the street or at any social event, do you somehow 'feel' that other people are looking at you or in their minds judging the things that you do? Little things especially like how you walk or how you project your voice, sometimes you think that you must of messed up and you start to feel that people must think your weird.

I've had this feeling for a while now and I guess you could say I am the introverted type. I know in my head that I am not being judged, but I don't quite feel that way. Even people that I don't know I somehow feel anxious around them.

I'm not sure I am the only one with this experience...
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Postby the_lizardqueen » Mon Jul 04, 2005 8:38 pm

Ah the joys of being an avoidant personality type. For the most part, I think I'm doing good if people remember my name, recognize me or at least acknowledge my existence in some way. I guess what I feel is the opposite of being judged. I do feel self conscious about myself at times, but it's mostly when I'm around semi-friends that don't know me so well.

Wow...I'm sorry if I'm coming off terribly negative in this post. I can definitely think of one or two friends who have described the exact same feelings as you. I think to an extent, it's perfectly normal to wonder how others are seeing you. It shows that your sympathetic to the feelings and thoughts of others. It's just a matter of keeping things at a healthy level, so that your not afraid to speak or go out in public.
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Postby Alice » Mon Jul 04, 2005 8:50 pm

No, you're not the only one.

I haven't had it much recently.

Oddly, it's particularly around other women. >.< Especially if they are women from a religious group where they must dress very conservatively (like head coverings, long dresses instead of jeans and shorts).

I don't dress provocatively, but sometimes I still feel judged by these people.
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Postby Lyren » Mon Jul 04, 2005 9:01 pm

I do get the feeling sometimes. Usually it's when I am around people I don't know very well but would like to know better. Yeah, I am very introverted and often have trouble starting and maintaining conversations with others. You're definately not the only one.
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Postby ShiroiHikari » Mon Jul 04, 2005 10:46 pm

I feel very shy and anxious around people too...sometimes a lot, sometimes just a little. But I always worry, "Is my hair bad? Are my clothes ugly? Do I look fat? Do I talk funny?" -_- It gets old but I don't really know what to do.
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Postby kazekami » Mon Jul 04, 2005 10:47 pm

At first people think I'm shy and cute. Then they either think I'm cute, creative, and a nice person or that I'm a weird freak who needs to get pshyciatric help. >< I know this for a fact because I've been told this. I often feel like people are judging me. And I feel like I wish I could take back things I've said or done. Plus my parents are constanly telling me after meeting people how i act too childishly, not to discuss anime or video games, not to lecture about acedemic stuff, and so on. So I feel pretty self consious sometimes. Usually I don't care what people think about me. But sometimes I get really nervois.
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Postby Azier the Swordsman » Mon Jul 04, 2005 11:08 pm

First impressions DO count, but for the most part, (I've studied on the psychology of this) most of it is in your head. 95% of the time you think you are being judged, you're not.

You'd be surprised.... most of the people you might think are judging you are more worried about how THEY are acting in front of YOU.

If they simply don't like you for who you are, forget them. They don't count. There is no point wasting time trying to impress people who don't like you and/or you don't really like anyway.
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Postby Fsiphskilm » Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:13 am

You a
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Postby bigsleepj » Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:33 am

I'm very self conscious as well. When I walk down the street and someone laughs I sometimes feel its for me (the fact that it has happened doesn't help). But most of the time its wrong.

And even though I want to be a writer I have a minor fear that people who think they're very smart (arm-chair Freudians who never picked up a psychology book in their life) would read my book and draw wrong conclusions about me.

But I got over it it. It's very paranoid to think things like that and if they draw the wrong conclusions then so what? You know what the Bible says about being judged. You shouldn't let this fear rule your life because it might end up it unbearable. Just remember that not everyone has any reason to judge who you are by what you wear and how you walk.
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Postby Stephen » Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:38 am

Eh humans by there very nature are judgemental. I find with my looks I get judged a lot. Where I work, I get a lot of old people glaring at me...(heh I just glare back and they scurry off) Its just part of life I guess. Some people are just ignorant.
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Postby dragonshimmer » Tue Jul 05, 2005 1:06 am

I feel like that a lot as well. I think sometimes, actually, a lot of times, when it bothers you, it seems to be a confidence issue. I think it's pretty common though, don't feel bad.
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Postby TrigunX89 » Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:48 am

Oh, do I ever. I feel like that a lot.
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Postby Hephzibah » Tue Jul 05, 2005 3:54 am

I don't worry so much about being judged about my appearance. I am comfortable with the way I look; I dont care that I'm not 'fashionable' (ie wearing makeup, having a good hair-style, skimpy clothing, etc). I more care about how I act in front of them... am I being a good ambassador for Christ?
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Postby Locke » Tue Jul 05, 2005 8:52 pm

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Postby kryptech » Wed Jul 06, 2005 6:13 am

Aeolus21 wrote:Whenever you are walking down the street or at any social event, do you somehow 'feel' that other people are looking at you or in their minds judging the things that you do? Little things especially like how you walk or how you project your voice, sometimes you think that you must of messed up and you start to feel that people must think your weird.

bigsleepj wrote:When I walk down the street and someone laughs I sometimes feel its for me

I have it when I'm walking to the office I work at downtown (well, whatever "downtown" my little town has...) I've got my dress clothes on and a laptop case and lunch bag in one hand. I want to project a professional image of a businessman. But then the laptop case swings into my leg and I half trip. Then I feel self conscious for the rest of my walk. Does my stride look stupid? It seems that everyone can see through my supposed professional appearance and realizes I'm just a poser.

At young people social events I like attention, and I don't mind if people laugh at me, so long as I'm in control. I can goof off and get people to think it's funny and I like that. But normally I'm shy and if I make some kind of small mistake and then people laugh near me later I sometimes feel like they are laughing at what a looser I am.

But in general I'm fairly self-confident. I don't try to fit in too much and definately don't strive to be Mr. Fashion (just ask my sister!) I'm a geek and proud of it. ß-)
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Postby Warrior 4 Jesus » Wed Jul 06, 2005 6:18 am

I don't judge my personal appearance but I do have very poor self-esteem.
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Postby Aeolus21 » Fri Jul 08, 2005 7:51 pm

Thanks for the input guys. It's not so much a confidence issue I am dealing with, but more of something that I am trying to let go from my 'teen years'. Constantly thinking about how I look and finding the right things to say... I was less confident then.

But even now as an adult, there are some days when I feel very self-conscious and some days where I don't get distracted - When I tend to subconciously "ignore" what my mind tells me and walk down the street without such small worries. I suppose the feeling of being judged depends on my mood.

Perhaps spiritually, it's a humility issue that I am trying to solve?
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Postby FadedOne » Fri Jul 08, 2005 8:51 pm

yeah..I feel judged a rather lot. Usually in certain situations where I'm out of place(which is sadly rather alot, lol) and feel like the odd one out. IT does depend alot on mood...some days I can totally be myself without thinking about if people are inwardly laughing at me for not being good enough or being different, and yeah..other times it's really really stressful. I have such a vehement dislike of most stereotypes that sometimes that fuels alot of being-judged feelings plus living in a small town plus being homeschooled, etc. lol

Confidence is complicated though and i'm very into making a good impression unless i'm in one of those 'to hell with people's opinions -screw it all' moods. :lol: Fortunately those are relatively innocent and uncommon. mostly. :p

And yeah...it can be a humility issue perhaps. And actually in myself I find it to be a selfishness issue sometimes b/c i'm so worried about coming across well that i'm thinking more about myself than other people. It's tricky to beat, but yeah...nothin wrong with being a little self-conscious as long as it doesn't prevent one from living with joy and a sense of peace with self.
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Postby Roy Mustang » Fri Jul 08, 2005 8:56 pm

I feel that at times people are judging me.


I remember a saying. If you not on a jury in a courtroom, then you don't have any right to judge anyone!


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Postby Mave » Fri Jul 08, 2005 9:12 pm

Every single day of my life in grad school I was judged by my research advisor. Up to this day, I keep believing that he thinks I'm a total failure and I'm just not good enough. I hate this feeling but it's something I have to learn to overcome.

But nah, in general, I don't really worry too much about what other ppl think of me.
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Postby holysoldier5000 » Sat Jul 09, 2005 7:24 am

"We are most like beast when we kill each other. We are most like men when we judge each other. And we are most like God when we forgive each other."

People do judge each other that is too true. I judge you and you judge me. Most of the time we don't mean to do it, it just is second hand nature. And a lot of times we don't even realize we are doing it. Your projection onto people that they are judging you is a judgment in itself. Maybe some people are judging you, maybe some are ignoring you, and maybe some are enamored by you. The point is that people do judge each other, take for example if I see someone walking down the street wearing a T-shirt that says “Lead me not into temptation I can find it by myself.â€
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Postby quizillafreak » Sat Jul 09, 2005 7:49 am

I have been judged by my looks. I am not ugly, but I go to a school of almost all blonds who are too thin and very pretty. I feel like I can't match up to them, because someone judged me, and told me what she thought of me. I came from TX and moved to TN. In TX everyone is different and no one tries to look like the same person or look the same way. But here in TN you have to look some way, and if you don't, you don't seem pretty. I don't want to look like everyone else. I want to be my own person! I want people to like me for the way I look! I don't wnat to change myself or my clothes to be like everyone else! I don't worry too much about what people think, but these things make me mad.
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Postby mitsuki lover » Sat Jul 09, 2005 11:58 am

At my age I don't worry as much about people judging the way I look.
Although for some weird reason I have on occasion been mistaken for
being a Mormon! :lol:
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