My Aunt and I

[Doubleshadow]

I'll try to keep this short. My Aunt has a brain tumor that sits between her eyes and right on her corotid artery in her petuitary gland. Her first surgery was in 1995. She lost a significant portion of her petuitary, her sense of smell, most of her sense of taste, and the ability to control her upper face when all the nerves were slashed when the went in through the skull. She knew they couldn't get it all, and the doctor's told her it was time to go back in around early May.
I lived with her last summer and we discussed God stuff, and I think she knows but I don't know if she is saved. She has taken care of me while I am at college, and would drop everything and come running if I said I needed something. Last summer I didn't even pay rent, and she taught me to drive.
Because it was dead week and finals week around the time of the surgery, my parents didn't tell me about anything going on at home. The last time I saw my Aunt, my family went to see her, and she told us that the doctor she had is internationally famous as a brain surgeon (true) and they wouldn't even have to go in through her skull this time. She was expecting to be in the hospital for three days, be back at work in a week, and have me come for a visit shortly thereafter.
Two weeks later I got home from school after finals. My Mom had told me in a phone call that the surgery went as planned, but there was trouble, and a few days later she was still in ICU, but she was breathing on her own.
In the end, she had three brain surgeries because they could never get the pressure off her brain. She has a brain shunt now and is in a nursing home in my home town. She can't eat or talk, and she may be blind. They know she is severly brain damaged, and it hurts to visit her. My parents didn't tell me anything until after finals were over. I also haven't faced the grief yet because of my personality, and I need to.
They also waited until after finals were over to tell me a childhood friend died. She was only 17. She had a seizure in her sleep and bashed her head; she never woke up, her mom found the body. We went to church, school, and girl scouts together, and my brother sang at ther funeral. I found out about a week after she was buried because my parents didn't want to distract me from studying. Obviously, I'm still mad at them.
I'm ashamed I never asked for prayer before now. I don't have a good reason, something about others need prayer more. Now, I wonder how things might have been different if I had more prayer warriors on her side. She isn't really getting better.

SUMMARY: Pray for me so I can visit my Aunt without feeling nothing (I haven't even cried), and that I can feel some closure when I visit Brittany's grave, okay?

[shooraijin]

Wow, Doubleshadow -- that's a lot to take.

I can see both sides with Brittany. I know when my folks told me while I was in medical school that my cat (of eighteen years) died I was shattered for months, and I can only imagine what it would have been like if it had been a friend as close as she who had been lost. On the other hand, it's something that would have been good to know immediately, wrenching as it would have been. Obviously they were trying to do the best they could with a bad situation.

Do you know if anyone else had talked to your aunt about Christ?

I will pray that closure and peace will reach you after all your grief wells up, but I have a feeling that this will take some time.

[termyt]

I think, although it will be a distraction, it is better to know sooner than later.

I'm sorry for your loss and I will pray for you and your aunt.

[Vash is a plant]

You have my prayers..

[Doubleshadow]

Do you know if anyone else had talked to your aunt about Christ?

My Grandma raised her kids in church, but my Grandpa treated the family like dirt and after my Grandma had a nervous breakdown (my Dad says he remembers my Aunt loading my Grandma in the car to get her to a hospital) she divorced him, and was summarily kicked out of her church for getting a divorce. My Dad could not stand his Dad, and I didn't remember my Grandpa when I saw him in the casket at his funeral. My family also thinks my Aunt could be a lesbian, if she is that might be why I couldn't recognize her as another believer if she was saved as a kid. She knows the Gospel I'm sure, but whether she has any faith in Jesus is beyond me.

[shooraijin]

Understood.

[Anna Mae]

It's ok if you don't cry. I also tend to be stoic. I didn't cry when my grandpa died, didn't feel much when I was baptised, didn't cry when my last cat got run over, didn't cry when a guy in my youth group died. So I guess my point is that some people are not very emotional. Don't beat yourself up trying to make yourself sad. If you don't cry or feel awful, that's ok. I will be praying for you.

[Rogie]

I'll pray for you in dealing with these difficult situations, as well as all the people involved, especially your aunt.

[agasfas]

Wow, that's a lot to take on... Although I can see why you are mad at your parents a bit for keeping it from you, I can also understand why they did so. It's tough either way. I'm sorry to hear all these things that have happened.

Although I may not have much advise, I can ensure you that I'll be praying for everyone: your aunt's health and salvation, your friends family and of course you and all the sadness you may be feeling. I also pray that God helps comfort everyone.