I messed up

Postby **AlBhedNikki** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:10 pm

I think I just messed up on a great friendship, by trying to turn it into more, and I need prayers that everything turns out for the best.

I've known a great, and wonderful Christian guy named John for about... 5 months. At the beginning of our friendship, we IM'd eachother constantly and enjoyed our conversations. We talked about our faiths, politics, God, School, friendships, relationships, family, and even a bit of video gaming. He was such an awesome guy, that I started falling for him. I knew he liked me. For example we were talking one day, I told him I needed a job and jokingly said to him 'I think I'll apply at the cyber cafe you work at.' He said he didn't want me to, because all the guys there would hit on me and he'd be jealous.

He never came out and told me that he liked me, I only guessed. I never persued a relationship with him, because I was really busy. I had a full schedule at school, took a college class and was working on my senior project. I subconciously pushed him away everytime he IM'd me.

Well, about a month ago, he left a message on my myspace account, and invited me to his church for a revival called 'Battle Cry.' We talked for a bit through email, and I began to fall hard for him again. I told myself that this time, I wasn't going to let him get away. I continued to email him, and talk to him a little, and finaly last night I sent him an email telling him how much I felt for him, and then I asked him out.

I know he's checked him mail, because the status on it says 'Read.' He hasnt emailed me back, or even tried to contact me. It really depresses me that he would do something like that. I've gotten so depressed, that I've almost thrown up. Sounds silly, but this' really hurting me.

If we didn't start to go out, I would atleast like him and I to stay as friends, but he's making that very difficult right now. On friday I'm going to his church for this 'Battle Cry' and talk to him.

Please, I need prayers for strength to talk to him, and to prep me for rejection.

God Bless,
Lady

Postby **FadedOne** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:24 pm

*big hug* if you only emailed him last night, take heart....he's probably praying and thinking over things. people tend to take their time with such issues...both b/c they want to do things right and because they're afraid of what say 'yes' or 'no' might do.

erm..hope that makes some sense, but yeah. goodness guys make life complicated. i feel for you. i've done something similar(talking about such feelings in an email...i got so sick afterward from nervousness, but it all worked out) and it's not easy. praying that you have peace of mind and that either way the friendship lasts. *more hugs* really hope this works out. and apologies for my incoherent...weird day..slightly too worn out to be more understandable lol

Postby **Slater** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:30 pm

right, like FO said, us guys need some time to think! *hug*

Postby **Angel37** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:32 pm

*hugs majorly* Patience hun. It's not over yet! Definitely praying for you!
<3 Angel

Postby **AlBhedNikki** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:47 pm

Thankyou all... I guess I'm just scared of being rejected again. Every crush I've had (With one exception) has been rejected, and I just dont want that to happen again.

Postby **the_lizardqueen** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:02 pm

He probably just needs some time to think. And in any case, I really admire you for having the courage to put yourself out there and tell him about your feelings. I have a bad habit of always letting guys I like get away because I wasn't willing to take the risk of being rejected, and trust me, it leads to alot of regret.

I'll be praying for ya ^_^

Postby **AlBhedNikki** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:14 pm

the_lizardqueen wrote:He probably just needs some time to think. And in any case, I really admire you for having the courage to put yourself out there and tell him about your feelings. I have a bad habit of always letting guys I like get away because I wasn't willing to take the risk of being rejected, and trust me, it leads to alot of regret.

I'll be praying for ya ^_^

The thing is, I never let guys know how i feel (And when I did... it ended up horribly) and if this turns out like everyother guy I've told. I just wish he sent me an email saying he'd like to think about it.

>_<

Postby **the_lizardqueen** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:31 pm

AlBhedNikki wrote:The thing is, I never let guys know how i feel (And when I did... it ended up horribly) and if this turns out like everyother guy I've told. I just wish he sent me an email saying he'd like to think about it.

Ei...that is pretty badly handled on his part.

I really wish I had some words of wisdom that would make you feel better about this, but unfortunately I'm pretty inexperienced on the relationship and guys front. Although it's tough right now, I still think that in the future, at least you won't have to deal with the 'what if's'.

And nothing's for certain right now, things could easily work out for the best. I'm thinking that I might also pray that God will give him wisdom and maturity in this, as well as helping you to stay strong.

Postby **Mr. Rogers** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 9:21 pm

will pray ashley

Postby **AlBhedNikki** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 9:25 pm

Thankyou Jimmy.

And thankyou all for your support. This all means alot to me, and has helped me feel alot better. ^_^

I will update you all on the situation when it changes.

Postby **Mave** » Wed Apr 20, 2005 9:30 pm

0.o That must be terribly uncomfortable (speaking from personal experience of communication issues with guys). I hope things go well for you somehow. I'll pray for you. Maybe it'll help to focus your mind on something else until Friday comes to help you get through the worry.

Postby **Rogie** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 12:46 pm

Actually, I agree that he's probably taking time to think things over, or he's worried about how to respond himself, and he could be nervous about the situation. As a guy, I can sort of think that feelings like that might be going through his head. I had a similar situation earlier this year, and it took me a little while to respond. I'll pray that things work out according to God's will!

Postby **AlBhedNikki** » Thu Apr 21, 2005 9:11 pm

rogie_san wrote:Actually, I agree that he's probably taking time to think things over, or he's worried about how to respond himself, and he could be nervous about the situation. As a guy, I can sort of think that feelings like that might be going through his head. I had a similar situation earlier this year, and it took me a little while to respond. I'll pray that things work out according to God's will!

Thankyou ^^

Postby **Mr. SmartyPants** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 4:39 am

frwl wrote:us guys need some time to think

believe it or not!

ive ruinined one of my friendships by a girl like that... not a pretty sight

Postby **K. Ayato** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 9:41 am

It's a scary situation when you want to express to a guy how you feel and what's been weighing on your mind. I've been there before. The best thing is to anoint this situation in prayer, and to write down (not necessarily word-for-word, but that's ok too) what you'd like to say to him. It's possible he feels something close to what you're experiencing. I can't know for sure, but since you've stated he hasn't responded to your message, there's a high chance he's been trying to think things through.

Rejection is a pain. Literally. I'll be praying that you are calm, and can say what you want to tell him. And also that you can calmly accept his response, whatever it may be. Hang in there.

Postby **termyt** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 12:12 pm

I'm sure he needed to step back and think for a moment.

Tonight is the night. Be brave and go to him and allow God to teach you what He wants you to learn.

Postby **AlBhedNikki** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 6:00 am

Well, I have an update. I went to his church, and had a GREAT time! I posted my experience in Testimonies, if you'd like to read about it ^^

I finaly got to meet him though, and it was cool. Since he was playing the drums for the worship band, I only got to talk with him for a few moments after the revival, then he had to go help put stuff away. I did get to ackwardly ask about the email (Um... about that email... =/) and he said he hasnt had time to respod to it, but he will. I just left it at that.

Atleast it wasnt a no! =D

Postby **the_lizardqueen** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 12:17 pm

AlBhedNikki wrote:I finaly got to meet him though, and it was cool. Since he was playing the drums for the worship band, I only got to talk with him for a few moments after the revival, then he had to go help put stuff away. I did get to ackwardly ask about the email (Um... about that email... =/) and he said he hasnt had time to respod to it, but he will. I just left it at that.

Atleast it wasnt a no! =D

Yay!!!

I'll still be prayin' that it works out for the best ^_^

Postby **AlBhedNikki** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 11:32 am

...well, still no reply, and he didnt talk about it when I saw him on friday or saturday. I feel so stupid. I go out on a limb for once and it breaks from under me. I feel so stupid! I feel like a little school girl with a silly little crush. I want to tell him that him not responding to my email, even just to say he's thinking about it, has hurt me and stressed me out. At this point, I just dont care about his answer. I just want him to reply yes or no so I can move on with my life and not feel so stressed out. I pray all the time for an answer, but I'm not getting one. I'm trying so hard to be patient but its so difficult. Why are men so... stressful?

Postby **emersongreen** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:01 pm

well....us guys just tend to stretch things out and we like to think it over, men like to check out everything before we move...we tend to be more thinkers than feelers for the most part, both to our credit, and to our discredit.....

also prayer can help....realise that you have no control, and your worring about it, will not chage anything, and will just stress you out....just "give it to the Lord in prayer".....that probably the best thing that you can do in this situation.....

also, if all you don't really care about his answer, than why are you worrying? (not to sound harsh) (like i said, men are thinkers mainly, not feelers)

Postby **AlBhedNikki** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 12:13 pm

emersongreen wrote:also, if all you don't really care about his answer, than why are you worrying? (not to sound harsh) (like i said, men are thinkers mainly, not feelers)

I don't care anymore, because I don't want him to feel like we can't still be friends. If he atleast replys to me, I'll be happy to know that we can still talk, ya know?

I messed up

I messed up

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