V8Tsunami,
My heart totally goes out to you. I know just how hard it is to have your life controlled by sin. When you can feel it rising, your mind screaming to stop, but your hands, you eyes continue on… To loath your self and every thing you do.
The way sin taunts you, leaving for a short time. Allowing you to feel victorious, only to spring its control once more.
But its not unbeatable.
Things to remember:
Everything is possible through Christ. The moment you think you cannot win, you have already lost. Even if you lose a battle or two NEVER give up. That’s exactly what satin wants. He demoralizes us. Makes us question if we can even beat sin, this is just one of his many deceptions.
Honesty. Be completely honest with your self and those around you. I know you can see satins lies around this imorrality, but hold fast to the truth of what you are doing. Also, find some one who loves you, who wants you to grow in Christ; and confess your sins to them. All of it. This will feel like the hardest thing you have ever done in your life, but just remember that one day you will have to do it all again (to Christ himself). While it will feel exceedingly hard to do, it will also bring tremendous relief as you friend will now pray with you and hold you accountable for actions.
God doesn’t just frown on sin, he down rite hates it. Sin and God cannot co-exist, His very nature is the opposite of Sin. Though He loves us, he absolutely loathes our sin. As we seek to please God we must remember that he doesn’t just get
upset at sin, He cannot stand it.
God has already given you the power to beat this sin. We are all fully empowered to ban the sin in our lives. We have only to stand and do it, and Christ will be there with us.
Completely avoid potential circumstances. While you are in a remission, reorganize your life. Point your computer toward an area where people can see what you are doing freely. Don’t work late while people are not there. Make appointments just after work if you have to keep your self from staying. You are your worst enemy when it comes to this, you know your own weaknesses, you have to be honest and cover all the bases you can.
James 4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
While James is completely right here, he does not mean that the War is over. The Devil will return. You must always be prepared.
Memorize the Bible. Not the entire Bible (though I will not discourage this ^_^ ) ,but commit to a regular schedule of verse memorization. Verses that pertain directly to your sin. When the devil comes to tempt you, fight back with the word of God! With His word engrained in your mind you will find it taking hold of your life (which is good).
Almost done.
Be weary. Satin often uses big, painful sins like this to blind us to other areas in our lives that we may need just as much help in.
Finally, if you are truly serious about kicking this sin for good; go buy and read the book
The Persuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges; $8.25 on Amazon.com.
I will definitely be praying for you V8Tsunami, and every one else who is also struggling with this, whether they post here or not.
-kaji