Woe unto the Pretty Ones

[Kura Ookami]

I agree that looks are important in todays sinful world, but the question Volt, is why do you let it bother you so much? If you started a poll on whether people think you're attractive or not physically i think more people would say yes you are than no you're not, but i think you, Volt would say that you're not.

I find it ironic that both you and I are observers, but I see the world in a different way than you do. I do admire you for saying what you think and not worrying about what others think too much here.

I disagree that your appearnce has anything to do with your confidence with God. Your self-esteem sure does, but that's a different matter. I bet you that an ugly old man CAN get millions of hot women to go out with him IF he's got the right type of personality. Observation tells me that this is true. Here's a simple fact. Confidence is attractive.

Right now you seem to be lacking confidence and I've noticed that we see things more if they coincide with our own beliefs. You dont see evidence of the contrary even if it's there.

What you have said about looks being important and looks swaying others is true ill admit that, but why can that old ugly man get loads of hot women if looks matter so much? And why do i see a good number of very attractive men being totally unsuccessful with women? There's got to be something more than just looks at work here. Go and ask the next successful attractive guy you see why he's so successful with women and i think his answer might surprise you.

Looks are good to have im not denying that, but are they neccessary? Nope. They're just a bonus in the end. A bonus some guys live without. What are you saying anyway, Volt? That if you were the most good looking guy on the planet you'd get whatever job you wanted and whatever women you wanted to fall for you would? Lol! That doesnt happen.

[Quote=Volt]But I personally think NOT. If I can look Good and bring sunshine into other people's lives just by having confidence, a good smile, and a loving heart then I WANT THAT.[/Quote]

You have to look good to have confidence? That's a new one on me.
Are you saying you have to look good to have a warm smile and a loving heart?

Volt, what if you did have the looks you so desire? It wouldn't change your view of yourself and it wouldnt change the way people treat you. You're lacking confidence and as i have said before confidence is attractive. Looking good doesnt automatically make you more confident. Confidence and looks do NOT go together You can be ugly and be confident and you can be good looking and not confident.

In your example what if Matt shouted at and generally insulted the boss while john was always respectful? Which one would get hired then? Would Matt get hired then because of his looks? Or what if matt thought he was ugly and wasnt at all confident while john was very confident in himself? Who would get the job then? Would Matt get the job just because of his looks? Your argument says yes he would on both counts. A boss would favour an abusive unconfident guy that looked good than another guy who was respectable nd confident in himself and his abilities that didnt look as good physically.

Maybe you do want a beutiful body to go along with your beautiful soul, but how many beautiful people have beautiful souls? From what ive read of what you've said Volt id guess that your answer is none or very few. The question now become which would you rather have. A beautiful soul or a beautiful body? Working on your body too much means you'll neglect your soul. Your body is going get wrinkled up and be ugly no matter what you do eventually.

You're not wrong about looks being a factor Volt, but I'd argue that confidence plays a greater part in this world.

[dragonshimmer]

How much makeup do you wear dragonshimmer?

I wear pretty much all of it, but I more or less (except on special occasions) use it to enhance what God has already given me. I see nothing wrong in taking interest in how I appear to others, especially if it means I can get someone to pay attention to what I am saying, and especiallly when it comes to getting enough into a conversation with someone to witness to them.

You can use almost everything to glorify God in some way.

[Raiden no Kishi]

Does it bug you guys when a girl opens a door for you?

Yeah, it does. Bugs me that I didn't get there first to open it for her.

The hardest part about being chivalrous is that no-one seems to notice or care. Girls, try some positive reinforcement. It works wonders.

Rai

[Kisa]

well at least some guys still try and open doors.... i always get it sut in my face after some guy has held it for some super hottie in skimpy clothes..... ><

[Debitt]

The hardest part about being chivalrous is that no-one seems to notice or care. Girls, try some positive reinforcement. It works wonders.

Chivalry is not dead - in fact, I am personally acquainted with a lot of girls who find that sort of thing incredibly attractive. Hopefully I'm giving enough positive reinforcement to those guys who are polite and courteous to me.

[K. Ayato]

Volt, even though I haven't met ya in person, you are one cool, good-looking guy. Who cares if you're not drop-dead gorgeous? I sure don't about myself, personally. You say what you mean, which really counts. Dunno what everyone else thinks, but you deserve a hug, man!

[Joshua Christopher]

Chivalry isn't about "hookin' up wit hot chicks dawg", it's showing that you're nice enough to open a door --or something along those lines-- for anyone.

[agasfas]

I guess after reading all the post many people have different views about the topic. Regardless of where someone stands in the "looks" department everyone needs to eventually accept themselves as they are. Life can be unfair at times, but that's life. Sure it may be easier for others to get dates, but I value things I work hard at. If it all came so easy, I wouldn't value much. The same applies to our lives; how we carry ourselves is a indicator about our character. When we become older, our character is what really sets us apart from others, not our looks. A good smile goes a long way.

[Fsiphskilm]

I disagree that your appearnce has anything to do with your confidence with God. Your self-esteem sure does, but that's a different matter.

Really?...

Self esteam is many times derived from The way you feel about the way you look. Feeling Good about yourself IS important, and when you do feel good about the way you look, you get on with your life and focus on more important things.

A person who feels VERY ugly will mostly blame God. And feel jelious of poeple who are attractive. Good christians feel GOOD about themselves. I've never seen a good loving, open armed christian who hates him/herself deep inside. If so, this hate will transfer into their spirituality.

I bet you that an ugly old man CAN get millions of hot women to go out with him IF he's got the right type of personality. Observation tells me that this is true. Here's a simple fact. Confidence is attractive.

Nice theory, but it's Unrealistic. I've never seen it happen, and Here's why, 3 simple steps to blowing that theory out of the water.

1) He'll be liked by millions probly because his Over-zelious confidence suggests he is "well endowed".
2) No-one likes people who act like they're "ALL THAT" when they're not really "ALL THAT". So much for confidence. Or in this case, being OVER confident.
3)You added "The Right Type of Personality" into the equation, something we're not discussing. This is about looks, this equation is about Looks and Looks alone. Good Looking vs. Normal everyday looking.

What you have said about looks being important and looks swaying others is true ill admit that, but why can that old ugly man get loads of hot women if looks matter so much?

He can't btw. like I said, You added into the equation Personality. I'll explain more below.

And why do i see a good number of very attractive men being totally unsuccessful with women?

Becuase @ first they ARE VERY successful with Women and then those women find out they're Jerks. and then Dump them. And those who are Successful are likey to be at home with the kids or at a nice romantic restaurant with the wife. ]There's got to be something more than just looks at work here. Go and ask the next successful attractive guy you see why he's so successful with women and i think his answer might surprise you. [/quote]
I never said LOOKS were the only thing, but looks do play an important role in quick judgements (the first time poeple SEE you)

Looks are good to have im not denying that, but are they neccessary? Nope. They're just a bonus in the end.

EXACTLY, I'd like that bonus if I can get it. That's it, that's what I've been talking about. It IS a bonus and I'd LIKE that bonus.

Looks are good to have im not denying that, but are they neccessary? Nope.

Can I ask you something? Do you brush your hair? Do you try to look good before you go outside? YES, we all do. We all want it, you can throw it out the window, ignore it, hate it. But we ALL see it as a nessessity of some kind. Unless a game like Everquest has brainwashed you into not caring, we ALL want to look good even though we don't have to.

A bonus some guys live without. What are you saying anyway, Volt? That if you were the most good looking guy on the planet you'd get whatever job you wanted and whatever women you wanted to fall for you would? Lol! That doesnt happen.

No...but IT WILL make me feel better, I don't date, I don't go to the beach, I'm not a model, I'm not a movie star, I don't go to bars or clubs. I WANT TO LOOK GOOD for ->myself<- mostly. Not to show off to other people. If possible as I've said I'd use my looks to shed some light into other people's lives. Because a pretty face does brighten a rainy day. But Mostly it's just something I want for myself. To feel good.

And don't anyone say "you shouldn't care what other poeple think of you", yea well there's billions of them and 1 of me, in a way it DOES matter what they think, but then again it's about YOU and what YOU would like for YOURSELF. And I would like the bonus(good looks). It's not that easy to just say "don't worry about what others think, /or/ you should be happy with yourself"

REALLY?? Gosh it was that easy this whole time?! :shocked:

You have to look good to have confidence? That's a new one on me.
Are you saying you have to look good to have a warm smile and a loving heart?

Nope

Volt, what if you did have the looks you so desire? It wouldn't change your view of yourself and it wouldnt change the way people treat you.

ROFL, OH YEA it would... Obviously like the previous members you have read NONE of my previous posts. I specificly posted HISTORCIAL evidence on my behave of how I am treated compared to how other more attractive poeple are treated. Please [GO BACK] and "read" it.

You're lacking confidence and as i have said before confidence is attractive. Looking good doesnt automatically make you more confident. Confidence and looks do NOT go together You can be ugly and be confident and you can be good looking and not confident.

An attractive guy who is not confident will still run into plenty of women who will feel sorry for him and comfort him.

In your example what if Matt shouted at and generally insulted the boss while john was always respectful? Which one would get hired then? Would Matt get hired then because of his looks? Or what if matt thought he was ugly and wasnt at all confident while john was very confident in himself? Who would get the job then? Would Matt get the job just .... etc..etc...

OK...let me do this again. This way it's IMPOSSIBLE to misunderstand me

New Example with Matt and John

If matt and john were both christians and they both went to church and left church at the same time and whenever Matt donated money John donated money and they both prayed at the same time every morning, *breaths in air and continues* and they both love God the exact same and they both live in teh same neighborhood and own a dog that looks the same and have wives that love them the same and same with the kids, and they were both kind to the boss the exact same...

IF matt were more attractive, he'd get the promotion over John.

Understood? What i've been trying to say, So simple isn't it? I'm not trying to go off road into other concepts, this is it, nothing more, nothing less. If you can understand that story, then there's no reason to discuss anything else.

Maybe you do want a beutiful body to go along with your beautiful soul, but how many beautiful people have beautiful souls? From what ive read of what you've said Volt id guess that your answer is none or very few.

Sure, I guess that's more a reason to be the "first", more inspiration to try and get there.

Maybe it'll inspire the "spoiled" attractive people and let them know that they don't all have to be shallow. (not saying they all are)

The question now become which would you rather have. A beautiful soul or a beautiful body?

Both , why shouldn't we aim for the sky? Why shouldn't we be as best as we can be, the way I see it.

Be as wise as your age lets you
Be as christian as your soul allows.
Be as beautiful as your body can be.
Be as Kind as your heart's able to.

Working on your body too much means you'll neglect your soul.

A bad assumption, and an even worst stereotype. But since you said "too much" i see what you're saying. I dont want to slave over my looks, I don't want to work too much on them, but balancing it out can't hurt.

Your body is going get wrinkled up and be ugly no matter what you do eventually.

Hey now... There are some VERY pretty Old people. If they took care of their skin while they were young they're beauty passes over into their golden years. Debra Crowly is a perfect example.
http://www.flexeffect.com/debpic.htm

You're not wrong about looks being a factor Volt, but I'd argue that confidence plays a greater part in this world.

When you have the looks, the confidence usually follows. When one looks good and is told so, he/she get's their confidence boasted. And so confidence and looks balance out.

It's hard to tell yourself, you can do it. when everyone around you looks at your face with the same emotional look they have when they have to unclog the toilet.

[K. Ayato]

What? No "thank-you"?

[Joshua Christopher]

Don't forget about money & power. Even the ugliest guys can 'get all of the women' if they're rich and have a high position. Look at Donald Trump.

But, I don't care anymore. Do I fix my hair & all of that before I leave? Of course I do. But in the end, it really doesn't matter.

So, good looking people may get more breaks? Oh well. Life isn't fair, so don't worry about it. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look good, Volt. I'm just saying that I try not to worry about it.

At some point in the past, I gave up stressing over looking for 'someone'. Whatever God has in store for me is just that. I don't know, and I'd rather not. Makes life more interesting. I'd rather work on my art, animations, and videos. I'm fine waiting.

And let us not forget, what is considered 'good-looking' changes with the times. These days the media may say that the stick-thin blonde with the large chest is 'pretty'. Years and years ago, it was more portly body shapes that were considered 'pretty'. Who knows what it will be 20 years from now?

Ya just gotta relax, muh man. Volt, you're a cool guy. Don't worry too much.
: )

(Awaits the pwnage)

[dragonshimmer]

And let us not forget, what is considered 'good-looking' changes with the times. These days the media may say that the stick-thin blonde with the large chest is 'pretty'. Years and years ago, it was more portly body shapes that were considered 'pretty'. Who knows what it will be 20 years from now?

Dude, you get the cool award for the day from me. That's a good point. What is considered beautiful changes with the time. Or rather, what society as a WHOLE (average) considers beautiful changes with time. It doesn't mean every person will agree.

Ancient Roman sculptures and pictures of the ideal beauty are women with *gasp* fat on them! And pudges! And curves!

Today, the ideal woman looks like this -----> l l

In reference to most models, anyway.

At anyrate, do what makes YOU happy with your appearance. Don't let society's impression of beauty dictate how you view yourself.

I'm not built like this..... l l

But I think I'm pretty cute. Every now and then I let what other people consider beautiful get to me, but less as of lately. I want to change for ME. What you should ALL worry about is this:

When you look in the mirror, are you satisfied with what you see? DON'T look at it as how OTHER people see you....are YOU satisfied with what you see?

If you are....screw what society thinks. You WILL find people who adore how you look.

If you're NOT happy with what you see....work on it. But do it for YOURSELF. Not society. I see TOO many people try to shape themselves into society's idea of beauty because they do it for OTHERS, not themselves. That's the greatest injustice ever.

That should be the only thing you should ever worry about, regarding looks.

If you're NOT happy with yourself, it DOES affect how you carry yourself and how other people see you.

We should come up with some kind of instant confidence elixir ^_^

[Felix]

Dragonshimmer nailed that one on the head.

In a nutshell, I agree with all of the above, yet from a guy's point of view. Us guys need to listen to ourselves and God instead of the media just as much as women do. We can't have ourselves thinking of the ideal woman the same way the society thinks. Too many men now aren't satisfied unless the girls they're with have perfect bodies
We see all these (fakely) beautiful women plastered all over TV and the net and it eventually can drill into our heads that that's what a woman should look like. Then we go and see our "plain" girl friends and feel like somehow they aren't good enough.
Sure...having pretty and beautiful friends is a wonderful and completely natural thing. Beauty is a gift from the Lord and it shouldn't be abused.
Yet if we hold beauty as the standard...women start to feel like they have to be that way to be accepted. Us guys are probably much more to blame for the fall of society's standards. If we could just look at all women equal and not hold some above others, that....would be a beautiful thing.
Yet we have turned beauty into a thing of lust. An item for men's pleasure. That is SO wrong!

I'm sorry if I'm being redundant or am rambling. I'm through now...

[agasfas]

Kind of odd how the topic did a 180....

Looks do help with our self-esteem, but that's not the only factor that makes confidence.

For example (kind of off topic):
I'm a huge sports nut. I play football, basketball and lift a lot of weights. Though when people see me initially they tend to snicker and joke and because I don't look like a "basketball" player, people usually underestimate me. I'm just an average looking guy. When the game is over, more times then none,I blow them out of the water. or it was a really close game. A total surprise for them.

Also, I don't look like a muscle man by any means, and I lift weights all the time. Anyways, I was at our college's weight room about to lift weights and some guy laughed in the background when I put 250lbs on the bar to bench. I just ignored them and went on lifting it. Then out of nowhere one of the guys came up to me and said, "Dude, to be honest I would have never thought you could have done that unless I saw it."

My whole point is, just because you don't "look" it, doesn't mean it's impossible or unreachable. So what if we don't look like all those "handsome" guys, I'll rather get a girl that cares about me and my personality, and I the same. If we always keep our head down in the gutter (which I admit I can do at times), then what do we accomplish?

If possible as I've said I'd use my looks to shed some light into other people's lives. Because a pretty face does brighten a rainy day. But Mostly it's just something I want for myself. To feel good.

Dude, from experience a person who has a cool personality can also brighten a rainy day too. Someone with a sense of humor, people who like to strike up converstaions etc... It's not all based upon looks man.


I can understand you feelings about wanting to look better, because I feel that way too at times. But seriously man, and trust me, I'm been kicked a tons of times when I was down. All through middle school, and 2yrs of High School, I had about 1/4 of my hair missing in rondom patches. THen it grew back. Let me tell you man, it was horrific and I had no self-esteem dude. But it took me a long time to get over that hurdle of hurt and feeling ugly.It wasn't until I was 18yrs that I realized that it was pointless to be constantly mad or sad. Where did that get me? No where. I could wish all day to change my looks, but that wouldn't come true. Sure it sucks, but it's life. Instead of concentration on a few negatives try taking the few positives and work to expand on those. Looks helps, but character keeps them around.

[K. Ayato]

It's really personality that counts, Volt. I'm not skinny like my sister but my friends all agree I'm fun to hang around with and all. Now, I'm not saying I shouldn't lose weight, or that you can't do anything to improve your physical appearance. All we've been trying to explain is that looks aren't everything.

Come to think of it, why're you so upset about yourself?

[Maledicte]

*this is now officially the Cheer-Up-Volt thread*

Volt, I feel I must say this publicly, no strings attached, from the bottom to the top of my heart.

I could stare at your pic for hours. Literally. Seriously. You are waaaaay better looking than a ton of guys I've seen, or even hung around.

In fact, I shall save it to My Pictures.

If this (your self-bashing posting on this thread) was merely a ploy to get someone to say this, well...gee, I guess I fell for it.

[Joshua Christopher]

Let me also add to my previous statements...

Different people find different things attactive. Not everyone likes the same type of look. While I personally do not have any certain 'type' of girl that I like, a little known fact is that I like glasses. : )

Enough of this, though, I think everything that needs to have been said has been. Peace out. Word to your female parental unit.

[Fsiphskilm]

lol, i'm not bashing myself. I think I'm ok. But I'm also a perfectionist, so if something has the potential to be improved, I don't beleive in just leaving it alone.

"If it's not broke don't fix it"... Volt thinks not. To advance, to find better easier ways, etc... would not be possible if we didn't play around with the possibilities.

[termyt]

I would just like to add a random thought to ponder about the "life isn't fair" theme of this thread.

Mostly, it's been used to show how some of us are disadvantaged by our lack of stunningness. But let me tell you, my friends, that the unfairness of life is one of the greatest blessings bestowed on us by God.

1) The members of CAA are among the wealthiest people in the world. I know we don’t always feel that way because we compare ourselves to Bill Gates or Donald Trump, but there are only millions of people wealthier than you; there are billions with a lot less.

2) There may be a few of use here that this does not apply to. If you are one of those, I encourage you to become more active here and in RL because it is possible for you, too, to gain this. But we all have friends and family who love and care for us. None of us know the hurt of so many children out there who have lost their parents to war and famine and have no one left to care for them.

3) We don’t know what persecution is. Persecution to us is being taunted by peers because we refuse to follow their sinful ways or being suspended from school for leading a prayer. Perhaps a few of us have been faced with real persecution. If so, I’d love to hear your testimony. There are Christians who will wake up today into a world that despises them. If their schoolmates or teachers find out they are Christians, their parents will be killed and they will either die or be sent to re-education camps. I hope you all know the joy of following our Lord and pray none of you ever knows the fear of following.

4) We are all ugly, perverted, disgusting, loathsome creatures. We deserve death. We have spit in the face of our Creator and, when He sent His Son to show us His way, we murdered Him. For our crimes we deserve death. But God, in spite of everything, has given us life and hope in the place of our well deserved despair.

I thank God daily that life is not fair. I don’t want what’s coming to me. Thank You, Father for taking my burden and replacing it with mercy. Today, I am able to rise because my sin no longer crushes me and I will return that mercy to all I meet.

[shooraijin]

I thank God daily that life is not fair. I don’t want what’s coming to me.

Well said.

[Fsiphskilm]

Speaking of unfair, my $200 bike being stolen, my old one breaking, Having to pay $200 extra because we STILL can't find a room-mate, I'm failing Programing2 and Linear Algebra so I'll have to retake them next month.

And yet still, i am soooo happy I'm here today. God lets bad things happen, because there are worst ones heading our way.

If you left the house on time and in traffic got slammed by an SUV. To keep that from happening, God will probly spill your coffie on the table, preventing you from leaving the house on time, keeping you from dieing. And all this time you think he hated you...

The best miracles are the ones we don't see.

[Kura Ookami]

Volt, you're attractive. Very attractive. I wish i was as attractive as you are. Got that? I wish i was as good looking as you. Why would i think like that if you were ugly? I'm not bad looking myself, but in my opinion you're better looking than me. You're probably more attractive than most of the guys on this forum. Personally i really dont get why you think you're unattractive.

Looks matter i dont think anyone is denying that. Why would you choose an ugly guy who had the same personality as another more attractive one if both had exactly the same personality? Nobody has ever said that looks dont count. I just said that personality counts as well.

We deserve to go to hell for the sins we have committed. If God was fair we'd ALL go to hell and none of us would ever even have a chance to go to heaven. That's what fairness is. It's unfair that ANYONE should be able to go to heaven. Justice demands that everyone who lives or has lived go to hell. I'm so glad that life isnt fair.

It's not fair Volt. You're more attractive than most of the guys ive met. It's not fair that you dont apprieciate your own good looks.

What exactly are you upset about?

[Yeshua-Knight]

well, keeping with the "life isn't fair" theme that we now have going on here,

it wasn't fair that the only man to live a perfect life had to die such a horrible death

and it's not fair that we can obtain salvation by meerly believing on Christ for our salvation and confessing our sins and following Him

and it's also not fair that there are plenty of spiritual brothers and sisters and have to suffer and die just 'cus of the fact that they believe in God and the teaching of Jesus Christ

i once was a man who had no shoes, until i saw a man who had no feet

'nuff said

[Fsiphskilm]

I'm not angry upset about anything. Just want to be the best that i can be.

I am very happy to hear those Compiments from you, but there are numerious little camera tricks I pull to get a Good Look captured. Next year when I release my before and after photos, you'll see what I mean... man are you guys going to freak out.

[K. Ayato]

I look forward to it.

[Kura Ookami]

I look forward to it.

As do I.

[Joshua Christopher]

I'm not angry upset about anything. Just want to be the best that i can be.

I am very happy to hear those Compiments from you, but there are numerious little camera tricks I pull to get a Good Look captured. Next year when I release my before and after photos, you'll see what I mean... man are you guys going to freak out.

How do you think I take my pictures?

[Heart of Sword]

[Heart of Sword]

"You look ugly on the outside but I'd like to get to know who you are inside, would you mind having a chat with me"

Yeah, Volt, ‘cause it’d be rude…

Yea, but that's assuming all good lookers are unsaved and all norms are christians. There are people that are christians that are good looking, if they can have it, why can't we? If you can look your best, why shouldn't you?

Because if everyone was “cuteâ€

[shooraijin]

not good looks.

ITYM not just good looks. Guys and girls alike can't deny that physical attraction enters into the equation somewhere; it just shouldn't be all or even the preponderance.