The Loneliness Thread

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The Loneliness Thread

Postby The Doctor » Tue Feb 22, 2005 9:38 pm

I was talking with a friend of mine tonight, about my life and my feelings. And after talking with him, I noticed I didn't feel so lonely anymore, that through the sharing I had gained strength.

So, if there are any out there who feel alone, share in here and let us all get stronger.

And remember what Jesus said:
"I am with you always, even unto the end of the age."
We are never really alone.

Oh yah, and after the convo I got the sudden urge to sing Crocodile Rock..and actually did. Then listened to it. :eh: Well, it is a rockin' song. :thumb:
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Postby Ingemar » Wed Feb 23, 2005 12:14 am

Well, I guess I'm not lonely. But all this schoolwork I'm doing is isolating me from the rest of mankind. I still live with my parents, but I rarely see them anymore. I feel sooooo tempted to take a quarter off from school, but one of my pals decided to "take a semester off" and never returned. So far.

Shucks.
Job 7:16

I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone, for my days are but a breath.
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Postby mechana2015 » Wed Feb 23, 2005 12:38 am

I do feel lonely...often. I'm surrounded by people but I feel like I dont fit in anywhere.... it gets frusturating. Despite knowlege of the obvious, that Jesus is always with me I still feel a need for human companionship, and not to be mean...I mean people I fit in with offline. >>;; Sorry...I just had to say that, since its my feeling.
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Postby dragonshimmer » Wed Feb 23, 2005 7:01 am

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Postby Gypsy » Wed Feb 23, 2005 7:17 am

I don't know how to say this without coming across as a sap. I'm very impressed with the fact that although you all feel lonely, you're also reaching out to others instead of turning inwards. Not only is it healthy for you mentally and spiritually, it shows good, honest character.
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Postby The Doctor » Wed Feb 23, 2005 10:14 am

Wow.

Thank you all for posting. First off, let me tell you that it is a pleasure to meet all of you. I'm encouraged that all of you have come here and opened yourselves up like this.

I'm sad there are people who have experienced loneliness like I have, or worse. But let us be thankful we have an Awesome God to Whom we can boldly turn to in times of need, and Who provides above and beyond what we need.

Dragonshimmer, thank God I put this thread here, not me. I ALMOST didn't make it, then decided to anyway.

Let me warn you guys that our feelings of loneliness provides an opportunity for the enemy, satan, to get us to disobey God and follow our own path, to do something that Satan promises will satisfy our needs, when in reality it makes things worse.

For those of you who struggled with being alone, without friends, I understand your pain. Many years throughout my life I would spend my time at home, with no one. I had one real friend (it isn't until now I admit how he wasn't really a good friend at all, though) and that was it for awhile. I've been sheltered much of my life. But God, in His grace, has provided me these past 3-4 years with a great group of guys, a "Band of Brothers" we call ourselves. We study His Word together every sunday and sharpen and encourage one another. It's great. So I want to encourage you that you won't be "alone" forever. Ask God and He will provide, trust in Him. If He can provide me with friends like these, imagine what He can do for you.
Be on your guard, however, when it comes to non-Christians. I don't believe it's wrong to have non-Christian friends, obviously, but you don't want them to be your close, personal friends. The reason why is because having close friends like that who don't have the truth will, eventually, influence you and drag you down. "Do not be deceived. Bad company corrups good morals." the Bible says. But seek out Godly friends, Christians sharp as iron, so you can sharpen and encourage each other.

For those of you who feel alone in the sense that you will never get married, or what not, let me again warn you that the non-Christian field will look very good when it seems they are the only ones giving a rip about you. I myself confess that I pursued that route when it looked like that was the only one interested. Thank God He shut the door in my face.

When you look at it in the long term, know that you both would be unable to share that personal, most important and binding part of you with the other. You would both have a divide between you that would prevent true oneness, as God intended. You couldn't share all your heart, mind, and spirit with each other, always that one thing seperating you both. And in the end, you would have even more heartbreak than before.

Don't think I'm a master of all of this. To this day I'm still tempted with the above, and have entertained or attempted the wrong road. But I'm still trying and committed to staying the right course. Just don't open yourself up to heartbreak. You think you feel alone now? Just wait if you go down that course. :-(

So what is the answer then?
Well, we must more people for us to rally around with, right?
Easier said than done, I know. However, it is possible. We just have to go out there and try and meet new people.
I did this on SuperBowl Sunday. I went to a church college youth party. I knew two guys there already. Guess who I spent most of my time with? ;-)
However, I did talk with and meet new people. I didn't make any best friends there, but I did talk to others, and that's the point! We don't have to make best friends (or life partners) in 30 minutes. Just go out there and talk and see what develops in God's time.

As part of my going out in the world, I'll even be attending a Church Sunday Morning Study for the college youth, should be fun. And oh yeah, forgot to mention that on my way home from the superbowl party, I got lost and ended up in Dayton, Ohio...and I had class in the morning. ( LOL)

Here's an example: I have a great Christian friend and mentor, whom we will call Scott. When I first met him, I had no idea how close we would be, and now he's one of the men God's used in my life to help turn me into...well, a man! And a Godly one at that. He holds me accountable, helps me grow, talks with me, a great guy all around. And it was God who engineered our friendship. In fact, God engineered all of my Godly friendships. It wasn't me.

That's the other point: trust in God. Ask Him and He will provide for you, even above and beyond what you ask.

As with all things, I have not mastered everything I've listed here. I'm still learning and trying, so don't feel THAT BAD if at first you don't get it right. (But don't take that as license to fail forever either).
Just keep trying your best.

I want us to all pray for each other here. I will pray for all who have posted in this thread, and ask you to do the same for each other, and me.

Oh yeah, and notice how those of us who are lonely, have just met new people to talk with? Of course, that was the point of this thread. ;-)

My name's Robert, and it's a pleasure to meet all of you. :-)

In Christ--
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Postby dragonshimmer » Wed Feb 23, 2005 1:15 pm

My name's Robert, and it's a pleasure to meet all of you. :-)

In Christ--


*sniffles and smiles through the tears*

I'm...I'm so glad you shared all of that. It touched my heart, and through your words, God has offered me some comfort. There were also a few reminders in there that I needed to see/hear....again.

My name is Hope. Nice to meet you, Robert. I've added you guys to my prayer list. My YIM and AIM information is in my profile. Feel free to contact me if you see me online, which I almost always am. I would love to chat sometime.
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Postby The Doctor » Wed Feb 23, 2005 4:53 pm

Nice to meet you too Hope. I hope to IM you sometime soon.

Ok, made another new friend here. :-)
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Wed Feb 23, 2005 5:05 pm

i feel lonely in school
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Postby Gypsy » Wed Feb 23, 2005 5:10 pm

I'm glad to see that you guys are being careful with your instant messenger names, and I'd like to encourage that to continue. We've had problems in the past where trolls decided to talk to the members one on one, and we'd rather not have a sequel to that saga.
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Postby ShiroiHikari » Wed Feb 23, 2005 5:26 pm

I know what it's like to be lonely. I've always been shy and when I was a kid I never really had anyone that I could truly call a friend, until I was about 13 or 14 years old. most of those friends have moved on and don't contact me anymore. now I have a lot of friends online that I care dearly about, but sometimes you just need someone in person. I have my boyfriend, who is wonderful, but he's all I really have. there's this other old friend that likes to hang out with me but she's not a Christian and it's very draining.

so, lately I do feel really alone.
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Postby The Doctor » Wed Feb 23, 2005 5:27 pm

LOL, well even if I gave it out it wouldn't work.

I have it all programmed so that unless YOU are on my Buddy List, good luck contacting me.

;-)
I'm sorry to hear that Shiroi, we'll be praying for you.
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Postby plutogrl03 » Wed Feb 23, 2005 7:35 pm

I don't know if this really counts but I don't really consider myself lonely, just alone, if that makes sense. I'll hang out with people from time to time but it's not on a real "friendship" level. I don't really worry about it but my Mom always thinks I'm up here at college being a hermit (which I'm not) since I don't have my high school friends around.

Plus, in high school and college they're always saying you have to network, network, network if you want to get ahead. Though networking is important, I feel that just being "friends" so you can add someone else to your Rolodex is kinda superficial. I have no idea where I'm going with this, so I'll stop talking now.
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Postby The Doctor » Wed Feb 23, 2005 8:13 pm

We understand plutogrl. You're more than welcome here and feel free to speak your mind.
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Postby shooraijin » Wed Feb 23, 2005 9:01 pm

Plus, in high school and college they're always saying you have to network, network, network if you want to get ahead.


This mentality drove me nuts. In professional fields, it's highly prevalent, and I found relationships centred on it to be shallow and hurtful.
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Postby Joshua Christopher » Wed Feb 23, 2005 9:02 pm

Most find it strange that I enjoy being alone. I don't like human interaction and wish not for companionship. That's just me.

I do have a few really good friends.. Most of the people I talk to are on my AIM buddy list, heh.

I'm going to stay a loner, all I need is my art and some tunes to keep me company. ::cranks Santa Esmeralda to 11::

: )

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Postby plutogrl03 » Thu Feb 24, 2005 7:26 pm

I don't consider myself a loner but I have no problems with being alone.
Sometimes you just need to bang your head against a wall. :bang:

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Postby Shinja » Fri Feb 25, 2005 12:53 am

im, lonely, but only when im reminded of how much of a loser i am.
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Postby IZ&Trigun4life » Fri Feb 25, 2005 11:20 am

LOL darn if i woulda known there was a lonliness thread i woulda posted sooner lol. Any way to make a long story short im lonly too. not physically but emotionally. And i know God is always with us but its nice to have a human. But see not just any human, I have issues with well practically all my friends being...too loose in their faith and I had a fight with one last night. Too make a long story short i dont have any friends who I see face to face every day, that has the same faith in God as i do. They call themselves Christians, but on the other hand and they go and do things Christians arent supose to. And when i try and say something i basically osterize me and make fun of me or try and tell me that im closed minded or to tight, or they just get plain mad at me. I dont know about any of you, but im tired of being the only one who is really doing what im supose to as a Christian. I mean I'm not perfect but In to getting into witchcraft and homosexuality and all that stuff. My point is you are not alone in your lonliness lol and well we all kinda need eachother, especially myself cause like I said I have no one. Im so glad i can relate to a number of you ^^
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Postby Roy Mustang » Fri Feb 25, 2005 11:05 pm

I can't say that I feel lonely as sad or down like lonely. I'm a two sided person in life. I'm out going IRL, but alot of times I don't show it that much. What makes things odd is, the only time that I really show my out going side is when I'm around females. You think that it would be the other way around, because I very quiet when I'm around buddies as males.

Then there is net. I really don't talk much online and somewhat keep to myself. The only thing that I sometimes feel is like I'm unwanted IRL and online.

I guess you know what I mean. I'm starting to think that I don't even know what I'm talking about. :bang:


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Postby Mave » Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:36 am

I've lost two of my best friends recently (they moved on) and I think I might have had my first taste of loneliness. My only confidant is my boyfriend who lives about 3 hours away from me and leads a busy working life. He's doing his best to be there for me though by calling me on the phone often enough but I cannot merely depend on this relationship.

But to put it in a different perspective, I believe my loneliness stemmed from the fact that I was priviledged with good meaningful relationships with friends and for that I will be thankful to God for that. So I view loneliness positively. It reminds me of my dependance on God and the importance of being connected to the body of Christ.

I tried to keep to myself for a week or two and while it was a good break from ppl, I know God is pushing me towards making new relationships/friendships. I've just joined an international student bible study group. So far, I'm slowly getting to know everyone but I find it terrifying to reveal too much of myself because I'm not sure how my new group of Christian friends are going to think of the Mave who draws Christian manga and loves Jrock/bishies.

But I will take a deep breath and a dive of faith. I know God is pushing me out of my comfort zone when he pushed me into this group. He never intended me to be a loner and I know that I can only grow spiritually by having ppl around me. With that, pls wish me God's presence and favor as I move on into these new relationships and I wish the same for you. ^__^

plutogrl03 wrote:
Plus, in high school and college they're always saying you have to network, network, network if you want to get ahead.

I never expected such relationships to be personal and too deep since they are meant to be professional. Yes, I agree that network is the way to go and I welcome establishing such connections since I'm doing it right now! However, I also think there needs to be a balance out between professional and personal relationships and I feel God pushing me to form both at the same time.
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Postby The Doctor » Sun Feb 27, 2005 12:54 pm

Sorry I've been far away gang. I should be working on my essay for class tomorrow.

Just wanted to let you know I HAVE NOT forgotten about this thread.
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Postby plutogrl03 » Sun Feb 27, 2005 1:05 pm

Mave wrote:I never expected such relationships to be personal and too deep since they are meant to be professional.


I guess that's a good way to look at networking, it's just that to some extent I can't see how it can help since they hardly know you. At least that has been my experience, you're lucky if they remember your name.
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Postby V8Tsunami » Wed Mar 02, 2005 7:08 pm

Up until a few years ago, friends my age were few and far-between. Growing up, I was the smart kid when everybody else was into sports. It was that way through HS. I also had to deal with conditioned athletes, expert fighters, and karate students messing around with me in jr high. Plus the jr. high principal pretty much let the athletes do whatever they wanted, so that was a tough time. After my sophmore year in HS, that changed. Most of the people that gave me trouble moved away, but I was still pretty lonely. Then about a decade ago, I met a girl on a church trip. Unfortunately, that was the only time I've ever been able to experience what it's like to be in love with someone. :sniffle:

When I went to college I met some people who acted like my friends, and I thought my string of finally being single was over. Well, just when I needed them the most, they bailed on me. I was struggling in college at that point as well, so it felt like my world had fallen apart, and I had no clue how to rebuild it. Just before I left college (burned out from the intense workload), I finally managed to make friends with a couple people my age. We've been friends ever since, and I'm sure we'll be for the rest of our lives, even though I don't get to see them much.

It's nice not to have to worry about bullies or making friends at school anymore, but I still long for a companion. I hope God has it in his plan for me, but it's been so long that I begin to wonder if it can happen. It's tough to see all those happy couples and hear all those love songs. It seems like the whole world is having a party and you're missing out. For now I'm okay with being single, because my life is light years better than what it was just a few years ago (Thank you Jesus! Couldn't have odne it without you!). Thankfully, I've always had a supportive family, and a brother to keep me company. I know how lucky that is, and I thank God for them.
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Postby The Doctor » Wed Mar 02, 2005 7:39 pm

Dude,

You are not alone. Know that first and foremost.

All men understand your longing for a companion. God did create marriage, and it is a good thing to desire.

At this point, I would URGE you to seek out the heart of God on this. Make your requests known to the Lord, the Bible says. Pour your heart out before Him and ask for His help in this matter. God wants to hear you out man. He wants you to depend on Him.

I will pray for you my brother.
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Postby The Doctor » Fri Mar 04, 2005 6:16 am

I figured it was time I took some of my own medicine.

I'm feeling lonely today. Pretty bad lonely.

Remember my dad and sis in your prayers. They're leaving for Texas even as we speak to get things ready for the family to move there. However, God's leading me to stay here so.

Other things going on in my life have brought me down, so remember me in your prayers.
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Postby V8Tsunami » Fri Mar 04, 2005 5:26 pm

The Doctor wrote:I figured it was time I took some of my own medicine.

I'm feeling lonely today. Pretty bad lonely.

Remember my dad and sis in your prayers. They're leaving for Texas even as we speak to get things ready for the family to move there. However, God's leading me to stay here so.

Other things going on in my life have brought me down, so remember me in your prayers.

I'll definitely pray for you. It must be very tough for you to do this. I don't think I could leave my family behind like that, because my family are the only people I've got. I'll pray that you know for sure that this is God's will for you.

God bless and thanks for the prayers. :thumb:
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