Dealing With Death

[Emanku]

This would be a really good time for some prayer.

On February 17, 2005 my friend, Nicole Pike, commited suicide. My friends and I are really shook up about it.

It came at a really frustrating point in my life because I'm just starting to climb out of a spiritual slump and reconnect with the living God. Satan's hammering me with things like "It's all your fault! She died an unbeliever because you didn't share the good news of the gospal like a good little Christian! If she'd had God she'd probably still be alive!" Real heavy stuff. I know there's some truth in that. I didn't do everything I could to help her but I have to learn from that instead of wallowing in guilt and remorse. The other thing Lucifer's been pushing on me is "You'd willingly take a bullet to save another's life, right? If you could, would you have sacrificed your life for Nicole's even though you knew she might kill herself anyway?" And I don't think I'd be strong enough to do that. Jesus did it for us. (Think about it!)

I could really use some prayer right now but I want the majority of your prayers to go out to my friends. Many of them knew Nicole better than I did, but none of them know God as well as I do. I'm a little bit afraid that one of them might do the same. It's really scary.

So these are the people who need prayer:
Nicole (I know she's dead, but she still needs it.)
Arielle (Been Nicole's best friend for a long time. Really close to her.)
Dyllan (Nicole's boyfriend)
Matt (A friend)
Aaron (Another friend)
Samuel (Me)

[Rue Shibusky]

I'll pray for all of you.

You shouldn't blame yourself though. If you don't think you were doing your best in the past, it can't be changed, but you can always try to do your best in the present. Don't give up and keep trying for your friend's sake as well as yours.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

i will pray for them

[Debitt]

*hug* I'll definitely be praying.

[Aka-chan]

I know somewhat of what you're feeling; I've had a friend die an unbeliever, though it was not a suicide. I will definitely pray for you.

[Hitokiri]

I've been through the same thing though I honestly do not know if my close friend commited suicide or not. Pray about it. Look for friends that can give you spiritual support and help. Talk to yuor family and do not be afraid to look to them for help. Do not despair and trust in God. The following weeks is a tough time when a loved one dies, trust me, I couldn't shake off the feelings and I still can't. But soon, God will heal you...may not be when you want to be healed, but he will help you. Be an example to your friends so that they will be strong as well. I learned that from my dead friends mother, thou despite her grief and anguish...she looked to God for her strength, her comfort, and love.

I will pary for you, the victims family, your friends, as well as your friends soul. Nothing can be done there, i's final, written in stone but I will still pray that she accepted Cjrist prior to her death.

[White Raven]

I am so sorry for your loss. I will pray that God will ease your troubled thoughts, and help you all with your grief.

[Emanku]

Thanks for your support, guys. This is not easy. I'm now finding out how hard it is to talk with my friends. It feels like walking on thin ice, any wrong movement could shatter the fragile emotional wall.

[sonichiro]

im praying as well.
God i come to You today and ask for Your peace for these people. let your peace and your wisdom wash over samuel and his friends right now. i ask that they would trust in you, that their faith would be in your hands. i praise you for your wonderful daughter, nicole. thankyou so much for the time she had on this earth, thankyou for placing her in her friends lives even if for a short while. God i pray that her memory would be cherished and loved for ever, i pray that in those few moments before she died that she remebered you, Father. that she cried out to you for your forgiveness and love. i pray that you would keep everyone who knew nicole in the shadow of your wings right now, that you would bring them to that place of peace, the secret place where you would meet with them and heal their wounds. i pray that your love and calm would be so evident in these peoples lives and they would feel you so close and here your voice. thankyou for healing and your grace,
by the Blood of Christ, amen.

[Emanku]

Amen!
Thanks for that!

[Rogie]

I'm sorry to hear about your friend, and I will pray for her family and friends, including you.

[agasfas]

I agree, you shouldn't blame yourself for what happend. It reminds me of a story:

A wife asks her husband to run to the local coner store to pick up some ice cream. He arrives and walks into the corn. On his way there he gets hit by a drunk driver and dies.

Many times people want to blame themselves by saying, "it's all my fault, if I didn't ask him to go them he would still be here." Truth is, it's neither of their fualts. We can't be help accountable for things that we have no control over or other's actions. In such, it's not your fault your friend killed herself... your friend made a decision and it was hers alone, not yours or her other friends.

None the less, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I can only imagine the pain you must be feeling. I'll be praying for everyone that is hurting from this tragic loss. I hope you feel better soon.

Take care.

[Heart of Sword]

It must be devastating for you. I don't know what it's like...I've never experienced the death of a close human friend.

But don't blame yourself. Move on...death is a part of life. I don't mean to be cold at all...and I'm sorry if it seems that way. But use this as an opportunity: tell your friends about your guilt because you feel as if you could have done something about it. Who knows? Maybe you'll have an impact on them.

[Hitokiri]

I'm still praying for you. Also, Emanku, if you are dealing with me. Feel free to IM me. Like I said, I went through the same thing and knowing what you're going through, I could help you dealing with the death.

[Fsiphskilm]

That's very sad and disturbing.

[Emanku]

So I've gotten a little more information about the suicide. It seems Nicole locked herself in her room and hanged herself. They had to take of the door hinges and it really affected her mom, because she was the first one to see her daughter. I'm sure her three younger siblings are also doing pretty badly.

You don't really have to worry about me blaming myself. I could have done more to help, I know that, but it was nobody's fault that Nicole committed suicide. I'm using that knowledge to grow in God. Of course I still need the prayer support to combat the enemy's deceptions. Also, please pray for Jesus' victory in my clique. I'm going to try to use this event as a way to emphasize the good news of the gospal to all of my friends.

1: I can show that the joy of the Lord is my strength by remaining positive.
2: Messages of eternal life after death will be taken more seriously because of this.
3: God is already using Nicole's death to build my confidence and my faith in Him so it'll be easier for me to be joyful and share the gospal.

Don't think I, at any point, blamed myself. I've stood strong against that lie the whole time. Anyway, thanks for your support.

[Heart of Sword]

"drama queen".

No, it would be "drama KING".......



You know............I have a strange way of dealing with grief. But I won't mention it right now...people might think I'm crazy...okay...well, I howl. It's an emotional noise and I can really pour my heart out through a good howl. No, I'm not joking. It works with me. It might not work with you, but...it helps somehow.

It's scary that people would actually kill themselves.

I'll be praying for you...

[Fsiphskilm]

[quote="Heart o

[Emanku]

My faith is kind of weird . . . I just sort of know that God exist and that He's omnipotent. I know that He loves me and sent His Son to die for me. I know that if I trust in Him, He'll deliver me. That's why I'm always confused by my sin. I've never had any trouble distinguishing right from wrong . . . ever. It's a great gift to have, but it really hurts to know how often I've strayed from God.

My way of dealing with emotion is a little more conventional than howling, I think. But it really helps me. I write or draw. When I was wrestling with Nicole's suicide, I just needed to write something dark with lots of death in it. So at about 1:30 AM I hopped onto the computer and started typing. By 4:30 I was finished and felt right as rain.

Anyone want to read what I wrote?
(Some parts will seem very familiar if you're an Inuyasha fan.)

[Spiritsword]

I will pray.

[Emanku]

Alrighty, for anyone who's been praying, thank you. Here's an update on what's been happening lately:

On the evening of the 21st, an open-casket commemerative service was held for Nicole. A HUGE number of teenagers were there. It was really touching to see how many people cared so much for her. Arielle had the hardest time out of anyone. She couldn't even go in and see Nicole for about an hour after she arrived.

As for me . . . God did a massive move in my life. My faith grew immensely because of it. At first, it all felt like I was just attending a funeral. A little after my parents left, I started to silently cry out to God and focus my thoughts on Him. It took a major effort to keep my mind on Him . . . at least at first. Slowly things got easier and easier while my faith grew and grew. When I was leaving, at about the two hour mark, I was so filled with the Lord's joy, I could have danced and sung right there in the commemerative service if God had so called me. I think if I had put all of that faith into believing Nicole would be raised, it might have happened. But that wasn't God's call. I'll get to be with Nicole again later, but for now, I have other friends that need Jesus.