Well, since there's not much else to do...I wrote a new play on the downtime that the servers around here seem to get, and also the fact that no one writes any really good LOTR parodies. Anyhoo, without further adieu(ah-doo?)...
Residential Evils Productions presents...
...screenplay by Zilch...
...the epic classical tale...
LORD OF THE PINGS
(also showing in HD where available)
Sponsored by caffiene
also by Halo 2 online
also by Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Dedicated to my sister, Gypsy, who actually laughed at the beta script.
Scene 1: The Ping Goes Forth
Texasdell
(The Felllowship of the Ping has gathered in Texasdell to discuss the recent problems with the servers, and how to solve them. Gathered before Lord Ashlrond are the best, though certainly not the brightest dentures on Senior Citizen Night, of all of Middle-girth. The Nine come from all corners of the land, starting with Shatteromir, the great warrior of the Poobahs of Longhorn; Gypsylos, the elven archer with the winning smile and deadly backhand from the forest of Milkwood; Phildalf, the wisecracking wizard that really doesn't know too many spells, but he can make S'mores with a single Elvish word, so they brought him along, anyway; Shoobagorn, the true King of Longhorn, the only mortal that could possibly wield the Commodore-that-was-broken, and Linkli, the dwarf who had a habit of hitting everything and anything with his axe. Following after these were the Hobbles, CBippin, Cloridoc(AKA Chlorry), UCam, and the Ping-bearer, Colbdo. )
Ashlrond: Then it is decided...the Ping MUST be destroyed. It must be cast into the Recycle Bin of Mount Microsoft from whence it came! No longer shall this fair land have to refresh after two minutes of waiting!
Gypsylos: Should we destroy Internet Explorer while we're there?
Ashlrond: Gypsylos, you must remember, not all the peoples of Middle-girth use Firefox...
(Linkli leaps from his chair, falls over, gets back up, trips again, finally gets back up, belches, and delivers his cutting line...)
Linkli: ...and the Dwarves never will!
Gypsylos: A curse on the stubborn necks of the Dwarves!
Ashlrond: Both of you! Stop this instant!
(The two warring persons are seated once more, but they glare daggers across the assembly at each other. There is a silence, broken only by a muttering of "Mellon" and the appearance of a S'More in the midst of the assembly.)
Linkli: ACK! A level 50 S'More! SMASH!
(Linkli promptly crushes the mashmallowy delight, sending miniscule chocolate missiles into the crowd. One strikes Shoobagorn in the eye, and he retaliates by making a program to delete Linkli's beard. Needless to say, the meeting erupts into various melees as the fight climaxes into a gigantic all-out brawl. Linkli is pulling Gypsylos' hair and commenting on the Service Packs available to IE users, Shoobagorn and Phildalf are pulling each others' eyebrows and delivering insults in true kindergarten form. In the midst of it all, Shatteromir terrorizes the Hobbles with an authentic Texas chainsaw.)
Shatteromir: I would never do that!
(You would if I say so.)
Shatteromir: Am I always painted as the bad guy?
(Yup.)
Shatteromir: Why?
('cause you're so good at being evil, because I'm the narrator and I can describe things as I please, and because I just don't like you. )
Shatteromir: You suck royally. I hope you know that.
(Stop talking to me, it takes away from the illusion.)
Shatteromir: Oh, yeah? Well, it won't be an illusion when my sword finds its way up your-
(AHEM!)
Shatteromir: Alright, alright...
END OF SCENE
If you'd like a part, PM me, and I'll see what I can do to work you in, k? No promises, however.
Lord of the Pings
28 posts •
Page 1 of 1
Lord of the Pings
Uh-oh! Your sig have started to move! -- MOES.
I suppose you could find females attracted to you if you stop being bad at flirting. -MSP
I suppose you could find females attracted to you if you stop being bad at flirting. -MSP
-
Zilch - Posts: 1539
- Joined: Fri Sep 12, 2003 4:00 am
- Location: haha im n ur bse kllin ur d00ds
Bahahahahahaha thats awsome!
Indyrocker aka the user fomaly known as Agentsmith700
my remixes --> http://www.purevolume.com/irishangel
my Xanga--> http://www.xanga.com/indyrocker
A member of the Society of Hatted Members
adopted by Rachel
Adopted Banana-chan, heero yuy 95
There are no more heroes any more they all died in the night that the world fell into darknes; and good men are trampled down into the dirt never to be seen again. This is the story of this world of ours the story of the corupt and those that would try to save it from them but become corupt themselfs from their own selfish greed and want for what they do not have.
my remixes --> http://www.purevolume.com/irishangel
my Xanga--> http://www.xanga.com/indyrocker
A member of the Society of Hatted Members
adopted by Rachel
Adopted Banana-chan, heero yuy 95
There are no more heroes any more they all died in the night that the world fell into darknes; and good men are trampled down into the dirt never to be seen again. This is the story of this world of ours the story of the corupt and those that would try to save it from them but become corupt themselfs from their own selfish greed and want for what they do not have.
-
indyrocker - Posts: 541
- Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2004 12:00 pm
- Location: Colorado
*snickers/slowly erupts into loud laughter*
that owns...
that owns...
Cast in the name of God, ye not guilty.
~~~~~~
At the heart of mature [color=DarkOrchid]femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nuture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman's differing relationships.
At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man's differing relationships.[/color]
~~~~
Disclaimer: The comments of Lara, both on forum and chat, are random, unusual, and often sarcastic. Read with a pillar of salt. Thanks.
~~~~~~
At the heart of mature [color=DarkOrchid]femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nuture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman's differing relationships.
At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man's differing relationships.[/color]
~~~~
Disclaimer: The comments of Lara, both on forum and chat, are random, unusual, and often sarcastic. Read with a pillar of salt. Thanks.
-
FadedOne - Posts: 881
- Joined: Tue Nov 23, 2004 1:13 pm
- Location: Ohio/Virginia
uh oh zilch is writing other play RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!
*Sits and reads script occasionally bursting into ruptuous laughter then resuming spock-like face* must maintain the ninjaness
sweet as always bro LOL
*Sits and reads script occasionally bursting into ruptuous laughter then resuming spock-like face* must maintain the ninjaness
sweet as always bro LOL
"If not now then when? If not me then who?-anonymous
and of course now i must instill the Dancing BANANA'S!
WHY AM I CRYING IN FRENCH-Vash the Stampede
ORORORORORO!-Himura Kenshin
"It is not weak to value human life!"-Raiden, Mortal Combat II
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
*ADOPTED BY* ..yea i know scary I got a adopted ~_^
Nami
and of course now i must instill the Dancing BANANA'S!
WHY AM I CRYING IN FRENCH-Vash the Stampede
ORORORORORO!-Himura Kenshin
"It is not weak to value human life!"-Raiden, Mortal Combat II
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
*ADOPTED BY* ..yea i know scary I got a adopted ~_^
Nami
-
girlninja - Posts: 388
- Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 3:03 pm
- Location: On the rooftops *ninja poofing*
-
Godly Paladin - Posts: 2016
- Joined: Sun May 23, 2004 10:21 am
- Location: Missouri
A single laughing emoticon speaks a thousand words from a grateful reader....
Uh-oh! Your sig have started to move! -- MOES.
I suppose you could find females attracted to you if you stop being bad at flirting. -MSP
I suppose you could find females attracted to you if you stop being bad at flirting. -MSP
-
Zilch - Posts: 1539
- Joined: Fri Sep 12, 2003 4:00 am
- Location: haha im n ur bse kllin ur d00ds
yes that it does...i love it
I used to "Follow" Him because i had to....now i would give everything to follow Him.
Me check it out!
Quest for the True Grail
[quote="The forgoten"] .â€
Me check it out!
Quest for the True Grail
rei wrote:"Welcome to Corneria!"
"I like swords."
"Welcome to Corneria!"
"I like swords."
"Welcome to Corneria!"
"I like swords."
"Welcome to Corneria!"
"I like swords."
"Welcome to Corneria!"
"I like swords."
[quote="The forgoten"] .â€
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Swordguy - Posts: 834
- Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2004 3:00 pm
- Location: The Largest chunk of concrete these united states know.
Wow, I'm a IE supporting Dwarf madly wielding an axe and fighting S'mores..... That's truly a first. Great stuff, Zilch, More More!
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Link Antilles - Posts: 2528
- Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2003 4:00 am
- Location: South Carolina
Try these:
http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/boardgame/lotrgame.htm
http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/book/book.htm
http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/bakshi/bakshi.htm
http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/theories/theories.htm
It's been awhile since I've been to the site, but I think it's pretty clean.
http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/boardgame/lotrgame.htm
http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/book/book.htm
http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/bakshi/bakshi.htm
http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/theories/theories.htm
It's been awhile since I've been to the site, but I think it's pretty clean.
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Arnobius - Posts: 2870
- Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2004 11:41 pm
Oldphil, you HAVE to teach me that spell.
Rai
Rai
[raiden's liveJournal]
[color="Indigo"]"I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you . . . stranger."[/color]
Strollin' in at dawn, wakin' up at noon's gonna catch up to me soon
'Just sleep when you're dead' is what I said 'cause I'm jumpin' off the moon
[color="Indigo"]"I believe whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you . . . stranger."[/color]
Strollin' in at dawn, wakin' up at noon's gonna catch up to me soon
'Just sleep when you're dead' is what I said 'cause I'm jumpin' off the moon
-
Raiden no Kishi - Posts: 2518
- Joined: Fri Apr 09, 2004 10:45 am
- Location: Ticking away/The hours that make up the dull day . . .
Ahh! That's great, Zilch. Especially the slights on IE. Die demon browser!
Every year in Uganda, innumerable children simply. . . disappear. These children all stolen under the cover of darkness from their homes and impressed into the guerilla armies of the LRA [Lord's Resistance Army]. In the deserts of Uganda, they are forced to witness the mindless slaughter of other children until they themselves can do nothing but kill. Kill. These children, generally ranging from ages 5-12, are brainwashed into murdering in the name of the resistance and into stealing other children from their beds to suffer the same fate.
Because of this genocide of innocence, hundred and hundreds of children live every night sleeping in public places miles from their homes, because they know that if the do not-- they will disappear. They will become just another number in this genocide to which the international community has chosen to turn a blind eye. They will become, in affect, invisible-- Invisible Children.
But there are those who are trying to fight against this slaughter of Uganda's children. They fight to protect these "invisible children." Please, help them help a country full of children who know nothing by fear. Help save the innocence. For more information concerning how you can help and how you can get an incredible video about this horrific reality, visit the Invisible Children home page.
Because of this genocide of innocence, hundred and hundreds of children live every night sleeping in public places miles from their homes, because they know that if the do not-- they will disappear. They will become just another number in this genocide to which the international community has chosen to turn a blind eye. They will become, in affect, invisible-- Invisible Children.
But there are those who are trying to fight against this slaughter of Uganda's children. They fight to protect these "invisible children." Please, help them help a country full of children who know nothing by fear. Help save the innocence. For more information concerning how you can help and how you can get an incredible video about this horrific reality, visit the Invisible Children home page.
-
Mangafanatic - Posts: 4918
- Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 5:00 am
- Location: In La-La land.
Scene 2
Something...something REALLY BAD Happens!
(A few days after the mimi-massacre at Texasdell, the Fellowship is moving at a snail's pace down teh path.)
Linkli: Why the crap are we going to so slow?
Gypsylos: Well, if you could see past the chimneysweep on your face, you could tell that the Hobbles are on 56k modems.
Linkli: Ah, that would explain the lag...
(The two look over to watch the Hobbles disappear, reappear, show up four steps ahead, freeze, and end up two steps behind.)
Linkli: Stupid dial-up...
(Further back in the line, Shatteromir is talking to Phildalf.)
Shatteromir: You know, it's entirely not fair.
Phildalf: What?
Shatteromir: I don't get a cool wardrobe like those guys in the black robes and the huge swords.
Phildalf: What? Where?
Shatteromir: On that tower, to our left.
Phildalf: Oh, cruel fate! Oh, hateful timing! Oh, filthy villians!...OH, CRAP!
Shatteromir: I take those are bad guys.
(Phildalf glares daggers at Shattermoir
Phildalf: Yes, those are bad guys, my brain cell-deficient friend. Please, do tell me if anything shiny catches your fancy, okay? Now, while you were quibbling about matters of enemies ethics, they've taken the Hobbles away to Lord-knows-where and we have to get them back. Are we clear, my llama-minded minion?
Shatteromir: Crystal.
(At that moment, the Hobbles were-)
Shatteromir: 'scuse me, mister Snarky Storyteller?
(What is it now?)
Shatteromir: You just made me look stupid again.
(Will you shut it? If I wanted to hear honking, I would've brought a bag of bread for the geese at the park! Now, what is chafeing your rear so bad that you have to interrupt me every two seconds?)
Shatteromir: I sound like moron!
(But it's so NATURAL!)
Shatteromir: Listen Smartar-
(Don't you DARE finish that insult in a G-rated setting, Shatteromir!)
Shatteromir: *grumblegrumble*
Something...something REALLY BAD Happens!
(A few days after the mimi-massacre at Texasdell, the Fellowship is moving at a snail's pace down teh path.)
Linkli: Why the crap are we going to so slow?
Gypsylos: Well, if you could see past the chimneysweep on your face, you could tell that the Hobbles are on 56k modems.
Linkli: Ah, that would explain the lag...
(The two look over to watch the Hobbles disappear, reappear, show up four steps ahead, freeze, and end up two steps behind.)
Linkli: Stupid dial-up...
(Further back in the line, Shatteromir is talking to Phildalf.)
Shatteromir: You know, it's entirely not fair.
Phildalf: What?
Shatteromir: I don't get a cool wardrobe like those guys in the black robes and the huge swords.
Phildalf: What? Where?
Shatteromir: On that tower, to our left.
Phildalf: Oh, cruel fate! Oh, hateful timing! Oh, filthy villians!...OH, CRAP!
Shatteromir: I take those are bad guys.
(Phildalf glares daggers at Shattermoir
Phildalf: Yes, those are bad guys, my brain cell-deficient friend. Please, do tell me if anything shiny catches your fancy, okay? Now, while you were quibbling about matters of enemies ethics, they've taken the Hobbles away to Lord-knows-where and we have to get them back. Are we clear, my llama-minded minion?
Shatteromir: Crystal.
(At that moment, the Hobbles were-)
Shatteromir: 'scuse me, mister Snarky Storyteller?
(What is it now?)
Shatteromir: You just made me look stupid again.
(Will you shut it? If I wanted to hear honking, I would've brought a bag of bread for the geese at the park! Now, what is chafeing your rear so bad that you have to interrupt me every two seconds?)
Shatteromir: I sound like moron!
(But it's so NATURAL!)
Shatteromir: Listen Smartar-
(Don't you DARE finish that insult in a G-rated setting, Shatteromir!)
Shatteromir: *grumblegrumble*
Uh-oh! Your sig have started to move! -- MOES.
I suppose you could find females attracted to you if you stop being bad at flirting. -MSP
I suppose you could find females attracted to you if you stop being bad at flirting. -MSP
-
Zilch - Posts: 1539
- Joined: Fri Sep 12, 2003 4:00 am
- Location: haha im n ur bse kllin ur d00ds
LOL love it
alas your poor characters suffer so under a cruel narrator Lol keep it up bro
alas your poor characters suffer so under a cruel narrator
Lol keep it up bro"If not now then when? If not me then who?-anonymous
and of course now i must instill the Dancing BANANA'S!
WHY AM I CRYING IN FRENCH-Vash the Stampede
ORORORORORO!-Himura Kenshin
"It is not weak to value human life!"-Raiden, Mortal Combat II
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
*ADOPTED BY* ..yea i know scary I got a adopted ~_^
Nami
and of course now i must instill the Dancing BANANA'S!
WHY AM I CRYING IN FRENCH-Vash the Stampede
ORORORORORO!-Himura Kenshin
"It is not weak to value human life!"-Raiden, Mortal Combat II
98% of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2% who hasn't, copy & paste this in your signature.
*ADOPTED BY* ..yea i know scary I got a adopted ~_^
Nami
-
girlninja - Posts: 388
- Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 3:03 pm
- Location: On the rooftops *ninja poofing*
Bahahahaha.
Ashlrond: Narrator whose voice is beyond our world, you maketh me laugh and gave me rockin elf lordship. For that I commend you and ORDER YOU TO MAKE MORE SCENES BEFORE GYPSYLOS BUSTS OUT WITH THE BACKHAND!
Check out my new sig too. ^^
Ashlrond: Narrator whose voice is beyond our world, you maketh me laugh and gave me rockin elf lordship. For that I commend you and ORDER YOU TO MAKE MORE SCENES BEFORE GYPSYLOS BUSTS OUT WITH THE BACKHAND!
Check out my new sig too. ^^
-
Ashley - Posts: 7364
- Joined: Mon May 26, 2003 10:00 am
- Location: Fort Worth, Texas
the Hobbles, CBippin, Cloridoc(AKA Chlorry), UCam, and the Ping-bearer, Colbdo. )
I'm curious, am I a Hobble?
(The two look over to watch the Hobbles disappear, reappear, show up four steps ahead, freeze, and end up two steps behind.)
Yes, please update some more. I'm so glad you are writing for us again. 
Great stuff! 
[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE
You see into the deepest part of me ---
beyond the fog I hide behind.
You cast your light upon the shadows
that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.
You ease the pain when I am hurting,
and morbid visions from my past
pierce into the realm of Reason
as though I danced on blades of glass.
You grant me strength when I have fallen
and, once again, I've lost my way.
You take my hand in Yours and lead me
into the promise of a brand new day.
You bring order to all my chaos,
yet set my well-laid plans awry.
You place me on a firm foundation ---
then give me wings so I can fly.
You sand away my roughened edges
and polish all the dullest parts
until I stand before Your presence...
a newly-sculpted work of art.
You see into the heart within me,
right through my motives and selfish will.
And yet, in spite of all You see
You say You love me even still.
~by D.M.~
[/color][/size]
-
true_noir_chloe - Posts: 3091
- Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^
This calls for more scenes. Parody of LOTR, I have not seen before.
I give it two thumbs up.
I am unique, just like everyone else.
[size=84]"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waitors who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like"- Lemony Snicket[/SIZE]
[size=84]"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant, filled with odd waitors who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like"- Lemony Snicket[/SIZE]
-
SereneDolphin - Posts: 79
- Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2005 10:31 am
- Location: Duh. The ocean with all the other dolphins.
very funny! 
(hey look, its my first post in FOREVER!)
(hey look, its my first post in FOREVER!)
http://www.pureloveclub.com || http://www.catholic.com
http://www.ocremix.org || http://www.pandora.com
Avg post count: <1/mo.
http://www.ocremix.org || http://www.pandora.com
Avg post count: <1/mo.
-
JediSonic - Posts: 1359
- Joined: Thu Oct 16, 2003 12:33 pm
- Location: The Bible Belt :D
<^_^>
I get to be an elf. Oh happy day!
I get to be an elf. Oh happy day!
||Skipping Tomorrows Webmanga||
"A ship in harbor is safe but that is not what ships are built for." - John A. Shedd
"A ship in harbor is safe but that is not what ships are built for." - John A. Shedd
-
Gypsy - Posts: 4056
- Joined: Tue May 27, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Hyrule
-
AngelSakura - Posts: 1430
- Joined: Mon Apr 19, 2004 2:51 pm
- Location: North Yorkshire, England
Zilch wrote:Chloe, I'm sorry...
...you're a Hobble...
Cool, I'm in the story.
Is it because I'm only 5' and almost 1" tall? ] My ears pwn yours, Gysplos< \ ^_^/ >[/QUOTE]
[size=84][color=seagreen]YOU SEE
You see into the deepest part of me ---
beyond the fog I hide behind.
You cast your light upon the shadows
that stretch like cobwebs in my mind.
You ease the pain when I am hurting,
and morbid visions from my past
pierce into the realm of Reason
as though I danced on blades of glass.
You grant me strength when I have fallen
and, once again, I've lost my way.
You take my hand in Yours and lead me
into the promise of a brand new day.
You bring order to all my chaos,
yet set my well-laid plans awry.
You place me on a firm foundation ---
then give me wings so I can fly.
You sand away my roughened edges
and polish all the dullest parts
until I stand before Your presence...
a newly-sculpted work of art.
You see into the heart within me,
right through my motives and selfish will.
And yet, in spite of all You see
You say You love me even still.
~by D.M.~
[/color][/size]
-
true_noir_chloe - Posts: 3091
- Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 12:00 pm
- Location: Where Tex-Mex is the best! ^_____^
One of the best line so far:
Phildalf: Oh, cruel fate! Oh, hateful timing! Oh, filthy villians!...OH, CRAP!
We must have more!!
Phildalf: Oh, cruel fate! Oh, hateful timing! Oh, filthy villians!...OH, CRAP!
We must have more!!
Every year in Uganda, innumerable children simply. . . disappear. These children all stolen under the cover of darkness from their homes and impressed into the guerilla armies of the LRA [Lord's Resistance Army]. In the deserts of Uganda, they are forced to witness the mindless slaughter of other children until they themselves can do nothing but kill. Kill. These children, generally ranging from ages 5-12, are brainwashed into murdering in the name of the resistance and into stealing other children from their beds to suffer the same fate.
Because of this genocide of innocence, hundred and hundreds of children live every night sleeping in public places miles from their homes, because they know that if the do not-- they will disappear. They will become just another number in this genocide to which the international community has chosen to turn a blind eye. They will become, in affect, invisible-- Invisible Children.
But there are those who are trying to fight against this slaughter of Uganda's children. They fight to protect these "invisible children." Please, help them help a country full of children who know nothing by fear. Help save the innocence. For more information concerning how you can help and how you can get an incredible video about this horrific reality, visit the Invisible Children home page.
Because of this genocide of innocence, hundred and hundreds of children live every night sleeping in public places miles from their homes, because they know that if the do not-- they will disappear. They will become just another number in this genocide to which the international community has chosen to turn a blind eye. They will become, in affect, invisible-- Invisible Children.
But there are those who are trying to fight against this slaughter of Uganda's children. They fight to protect these "invisible children." Please, help them help a country full of children who know nothing by fear. Help save the innocence. For more information concerning how you can help and how you can get an incredible video about this horrific reality, visit the Invisible Children home page.
-
Mangafanatic - Posts: 4918
- Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 5:00 am
- Location: In La-La land.
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