lonely in college

[Lady Arianrod]

I just began my spring semester at college today. Ever since the first semester, I've felt that this college wasn't the right one for me. This was mainly because of my own lack of connection with the campus itself. I'm a commuter, so I show up for classes and then promptly leave after they're done. I only know a few people on the campus itself, and this lack of a social life has naturally had its effect on me.

I've grown disheartened with college in general. Before, I enjoyed learning and going to a new, undiscovered place. Now, I simply want to meet new people and enjoy my time there, but I'm finding it harder and harder to be motivated.

While I'm not completely discouraged, I do feel alone quite often. I haven't been praying as much or reading the Bible at all... My faith isn't dead, but it's just not a strong force in my life.

Please pray that I will be able to meet some people at my school and that I will have more time to enjoy myself at college. Also, pray for a strengthened relationship between me and God once more. Thanks for your time, everyone.

[Mr. Rogers]

will.pray.for.ya

[Nate]

I will pray for you. I know how it is to commute to a college, so I don't know anyone in any of my classes either.

[Lady Arianrod]

Thank you both!

[Rogie]

I experienced the same thing when I started college. I also commute, and after the first year, I was really bored with the whole thing. There was nothing to keep me connected to it besides my classes, and I was not making many friends beyond those from high school who had decided to attend the same college.

What really changed me, however, was when I joined the newspaper staff and got actively involved with it. I began to make friends, I got to know all kinds of people (including future teachers), and I just began to feel like I was really in college. I do nothing else but newspaper work and my classes to this day, but that one extracurricular activity got me motivated again. I'm now the editor of the paper, and I love going to school each day just because some of the time I'm there is spent working with the paper.

What I'm saying, therefore, is that you should try and find some extracurricular activity that interests you and that you can get involved in. You'll make friends, and if you really like it, you'll look forward to school just to do that activity for a little while. Colleges tend to have all kinds of different activities you can participate in that you never hear of unless you research it. A campus ministry is a good one to look for, and you'll find some Christian friends, no less! Ask around and find something, and I think you'll find yourself enjoying college much more.

I'll pray for you!

[Lady Arianrod]

I experienced the same thing when I started college. I also commute, and after the first year, I was really bored with the whole thing. There was nothing to keep me connected to it besides my classes, and I was not making many friends beyond those from high school who had decided to attend the same college.

What really changed me, however, was when I joined the newspaper staff and got actively involved with it. I began to make friends, I got to know all kinds of people (including future teachers), and I just began to feel like I was really in college. I do nothing else but newspaper work and my classes to this day, but that one extracurricular activity got me motivated again. I'm now the editor of the paper, and I love going to school each day just because some of the time I'm there is spent working with the paper.

What I'm saying, therefore, is that you should try and find some extracurricular activity that interests you and that you can get involved in. You'll make friends, and if you really like it, you'll look forward to school just to do that activity for a little while. Colleges tend to have all kinds of different activities you can participate in that you never hear of unless you research it. A campus ministry is a good one to look for, and you'll find some Christian friends, no less! Ask around and find something, and I think you'll find yourself enjoying college much more.

I'll pray for you!

Thank you very much! Your message is especially relevant because I was on the newspaper staff in highschool. I also wanted to join my college's newspaper... good idea! I'll also look for a campus ministry... great idea!

[Rogie]

Thank you very much! Your message is especially relevant because I was on the newspaper staff in highschool. I also wanted to join my college's newspaper... good idea! I'll also look for a campus ministry... great idea!

Hey, that's great (and very appropriate, indeed )! I hope you can join either one (or both) and enjoy yourself! Update us, too.

[Kisa]

I know how you feel. That fall semester was bad and this one is shaping up to be the same. I'll pray!

[Chichiri]

Well, the answer seems obvious.

Stop commuting and live on campus.

Every commuter is like that basically. You're not going to make as many friends commuting to school every day than you could if you lived on campus (or even off campus).

I've seen it a lot here too, since my college is a big commuter school. The answer is simple really.

[Rogie]

Well, the answer seems obvious.

Stop commuting and live on campus.

Every commuter is like that basically. You're not going to make as many friends commuting to school every day than you could if you lived on campus (or even off campus).

I've seen it a lot here too, since my college is a big commuter school. The answer is simple really.

The problem with that, Chichiri, is that some people cannot afford to live on campus, and/or it may not make sense to live on campus if you live within 30 minutes of the campus (I'm describing my situation there). So it's not quite that simple.

[shooraijin]

EDIT: In response to Chichiri:

That's not always possible, though. Living on campus is an additional cost and some people just can't afford it (when I went to university, I lived at home and commuted a half hour each way). Also, there's no guarantee that being on campus will make things any better, just more probable.

I think the suggestion about finding a local fellowship is a good one. When I started going to Campus Crusade my senior year, I couldn't believe I hadn't gone there sooner. There were many commuter students there in the same boat.

[Fsiphskilm]

I'm going thro

[wiggins]

I'll pray.

[Chichiri]

The problem with that, Chichiri, is that some people cannot afford to live on campus, and/or it may not make sense to live on campus if you live within 30 minutes of the campus (I'm describing my situation there). So it's not quite that simple.

(also a reply to shooraijin)

I know many people who live close to school, yet stay on campus anyway because it's more fun. If money is a problem, apply for more scholarships. There are so many scholarships out there. You just have to look. Having less friends is just a downside to commuting. It's just how it is. I know of 5 people who commute to a college back from home, and most of them don't really have any friends outside the ones they kept from highschool. It's just tough.

As for Campus Crusade like Shooraijin said... eh..... While it sounds nice, that is not always an option. I stopped going to the CC (or Cru) here at school. Why? Because Campus Crusade here is SO VERY clique-y. If you aren't in a group of friends, you are going to get fairly ignored there. Sad, but true. is this like this everywhere? No. I'm just saying that CC might not always be a good option.

Plus, if you commute and live 30 minutes away, it's a big hassle. For here, at least, it would be 60 minutes round trip, then 90 minutes of Cru. A little bit of a hassle sometimes. But Cru can be fun, so it might be worth it.

[Lady Arianrod]

The problem with that, Chichiri, is that some people cannot afford to live on campus, and/or it may not make sense to live on campus if you live within 30 minutes of the campus (I'm describing my situation there). So it's not quite that simple.

Yeah, that's the same with my situation... I live 25 minutes from my college and the residence fee is over 8,500 dollars per year.

[Lady Arianrod]

EDIT: In response to Chichiri:

That's not always possible, though. Living on campus is an additional cost and some people just can't afford it (when I went to university, I lived at home and commuted a half hour each way). Also, there's no guarantee that being on campus will make things any better, just more probable.

I think the suggestion about finding a local fellowship is a good one. When I started going to Campus Crusade my senior year, I couldn't believe I hadn't gone there sooner. There were many commuter students there in the same boat.

Good idea. I've been looking for a good ministry to attend for a while now. Thanks for your replies and prayers, everyone!

[Lady Arianrod]

I'm going through the exact same thing right now.

Not a single freind. Alone in my room for hours on end, programing alone. On the othe hand... When life throws you lemons, make lemonade. I've got Lots of VideoGames to keep me entertained + now I can play online since we've got High speed cable internet.

Just look for soemthing to do, I know it's hard but God will find a buddy for you. Better to have 1 true freind than to have a million fake ones. I'm patiently awaiting my freind and when the time comes we shall spend much time together and socialize and all that good junk.

You know, like Play video games, order pizza, the works.

Yeah, good idea. I do have a few good friends from highschool that I see somewhat often, but I only know one person very well at my college. It's difficult at times, but I think I can overcome this problem. Thanks.

[Lady Arianrod]

Thanks, Wiggins.

Oh, and I might consider living on campus, Chichiri. The only thing is... My parents agreed that it was quite expensive & etc.... But I'm going to keep asking them.... I definitely would enjoy college more if I lived there.

Thanks for all the responses. I'll keep praying for those in the same situation as me, too.

[Saint Kevin]

Don't be afraid to start your own club if you feel led. Could be an anime club, could be DDR, could be underwater basket weaving. Anything that you like to do that's a good excuse to meet people.

And yeah, getting involved in campus christian clubs has really helped me a lot. I definitely recommend it. Even if you don't particularly like the way some do things, or the studies are shallow, you can still meet very nice Christians like yourself.

[agasfas]

I just began my spring semester at college today. Ever since the first semester, I've felt that this college wasn't the right one for me. This was mainly because of my own lack of connection with the campus itself. I'm a commuter, so I show up for classes and then promptly leave after they're done. I only know a few people on the campus itself, and this lack of a social life has naturally had its effect on me.

I know how you feel. I've been in college for about 2 yrs and I'm also a commuter. Usually my classes start at 8am and my last is at 12pm. So everyday, 8-12 and I come straight home. And I can't live in campus because I can't financially afford it. I hardly have enough money to pay off my books with $2 to spare. It's hard to have a college social life when you don't live there. Personally, I want to stick around campus, but why? I have really no reason. I have a job and homework to do. And like you, I don't have many college friends. I have a total of 2 I know; 1 I met in English and we ended up having a few more classes together and another I've known since 8th grade. We also have been lucky enough to have a few classes together. Other then that, no college socal life.

I will pray that you will meet more people. My suggestion if your gun-whole about meeting people is to perhaps join an after school club. I kind of want to, but my classes get out at 12pm and most clubs start about 6-8pm. I would hate to wait on campus that long or drive back 30miles during rush hours to hang out (austin has really bad traffic). Although, it would be awesome to meet others who also commute and live in your town/area. Sorry if I didn't provide any relevant or good advice. But I know how you feel and you're not alone; I'll continue to pray.

[shooraijin]

Plus, if you commute and live 30 minutes away, it's a big hassle.

No doubt, but it's not hopeless. In my case, I had an on-campus job, and I went to large group after; or, I would stay and study (which I should have been doing anyway) in the library, went to large group, and then went home. There are creative and productive ways of dealing with that.

[Chichiri]

Yeah, that's the same with my situation... I live 25 minutes from my college and the residence fee is over 8,500 dollars per year.

8500??? &(*&*()&(*&(*^*&*&^&(^F&*B! whoa. Where the heck do you go??? Notre Dame???

[Mr. SmartyPants]

i will totally pray for you! I know what you mean! In my school, i feel like its practically one class to another. Like theres no meaning. Like you're some robot there to learn things. I have a few friends, but none of them are really GOOD friends.

[Lady Arianrod]

8500??? &(*&*()&(*&(*^*&*&^&(^F&*B! whoa. Where the heck do you go??? Notre Dame???

No, actually =P.

I'd rather not say the name of my college on a public board for privacy reasons.

I hope you understand.

[Lady Arianrod]

i will totally pray for you! I know what you mean! In my school, i feel like its practically one class to another. Like theres no meaning. Like you're some robot there to learn things. I have a few friends, but none of them are really GOOD friends.

Thanks for your prayers. I'll also pray that you'll meet people and form stronger bonds with them in your own school.

[Ashley]

Arianod, how I understand! So much of what you said is so true in my own life, I can't even begin to tell you how much I truly, truly empathize. This is my freshman year, and my spring semester just started last week. I'm a commuter too, I don't stay for anything more than class and my social life is reading the paper at lunch. But even being somewhat of a loner in high school, it really messes with my head too.

I also share your disillusionment with college in general...several times last week I wanted to just drop out period. It seemed pointless, worthless, and a waste of everyone's time and money. It is indeed harder and harder to be motivated.

While I'm not completely discouraged, I do feel alone quite often. I haven't been praying as much or reading the Bible at all... My faith isn't dead, but it's just not a strong force in my life.

I could not have described it more perfectly myself.

I will most definately keep you in my prayers. Know what really helps me? Every time I get stressed or frustrated or discouraged, I take just even a few seconds to drop everything and pray. Sometimes it's just an honest outpouring of my heart in the cafeteria corner, sometimes it's a lengthy whispered plea with God to remind me what I'm doing and reaffirm why I'm here. It really really helps. Also, do you work? Is it possible to get plugged in with a Christian group on campus? It's out of the question for me, but maybe that would help you.

[true_noir_chloe]

I think getting involved with fellow Christians on campus is a great idea. Shoo and Rogie gave you some great ideas and advice.

And Ashley's advice about prayer is great, as well. Sometimes you have to just force yourself to stop and make time, and amazingly the Spirit will draw you to Him.

I'm definitely praying for you. I never lived on any campus I attended, but still worked on the paper and had ministry. It was very uplifting and I had many friends and acquaintances.

Hope you the best, Lady A. ^____^

[Roy Mustang]

Joining a club is good. I know how you all feel about being lonely in college. I felt that I was going to drop out of college after two terms, but I didn't get up. And I'm still at college and having fun with it.

I still don't have alot of friends, but I try to make friends when I can.


Wingzero22

[Lady Arianrod]

Thanks for the advice, Wingzero.

Also, thanks for your prayers, Chloe and Ashley! I can truly feel what you mean, Ashley, and I'm glad that you responded. I'll also pray that God continually reminds you of your worth and purpose in his master plan. I will try to pray more often as well.

Great advice, everyone!