i need some prayer.

[sonichiro]

okay. ive had problems with people all my life, for not being accepted. one thing inparticular i remeber was in kindergarten. i used to love to bring a stuffed animal toy to school everyday, people thought that it was weird, no one in my grade did just in the older grades. i remeber i was holding a toy and i asked a guy in my sisters class how he got this scar he had. he gave me a really dirty look and said to me, "did you have a sex change or something?!" and walked away. how can someone say that to a child. i cant understand what i did to deserve that!!?? its been ten years since than and the other day my sister went snow boarding. i asked her who she was going with a she told me it was with him. i instantly told her not to go and got angry at her for hanging out with him. she couldnt understand why i was acting so weird and siad that he was a really nice person and why did i hate him??? i realized that i had been carrying that wound with me since i was so young. and i know that that story doesnt seem like much but thats just an example of one incedent. stuff like that happened to me every single day. what person whould do things like that to a little boy??last year at my youth group a person i knew from school began praying over me. he prayed stuff like "be able to hand your wounds over to God" and i was so hurt. i was hurt because not only a year before that he said something so horribley to me out of nowhere and id didnt even know him then. i couldnt believe he was praying this over me when he was someone who had given me one of those wounds. in my mind i just kept thinking how dare you pray for me! how can you pray that for me?? theres just so much crap that i keep clinging too and i cant seem to hand over to God. i feel like im suffacating! i just want to give it to God and be done with it and for some reason i cant! i just keep harbouring these wounds and letting them fester inside me. please pray for me. i need some strength.

[Mave]

Hey sonichiro, the problem with grudges is the only one who's hurting is the one who holds it, no one else. It's been ten years, I assume the guy must have changed considerably by then, perhaps for the better.

Whenever I feel angry at someone or have a hard time forgiving, I remind myself that I'm not that perfect myself (I've probably hurt someone with my words as well) and ask God to help me.

I'll pray for the Spirit to teach you to let go of your grudge and to experience the peace of forgiveness. It's something that took me a while to give it up to God, but when I did, it was very liberating. I'm sure God intends to free you from this too.

[wiggins]

I'll pray.

[Rogie]

I'm a lot like you and tend to hold grudges and store up a ton of anger over the years to the point that no one knows why I'm angry, not even me, usually. And Mave hit it right on the dot; you are the only one hurting. It's an issue of not only forgiving others, but also of forgiving yourself. A lot of my anger over the years has been toward myself, because I "allowed" others to pick on me, make fun of me, etc. I have a feeling that you feel the same way.

I know that what Mave said applies to me, too. (Thanks, Mave! )

I'll pray.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

sonichiro. Yes as mave pointed out, its not good to hold grudges. Did Jesus hold a grudge to the Pharisees? Those who persecued him? Nope. Ill pray for ya bud

[sonichiro]

thank you, you guys. your right, buts its just so hard to hand it over to God becuause i feel kind of broken, if you can understand that. im thankful for your prayers. God bless you. ^__^

[agasfas]

i remeber i was holding a toy and i asked a guy in my sisters class how he got this scar he had....
its been ten years since than and the other day my sister went snow boarding.
i instantly told her not to go and got angry at her for hanging out with him.

OKay first off let me try coming from the other side. When growing up I had something called Alopecia where my hair would fall out randomly and I would be stared at and laughed at. People would always asked me "dude, what the hell happened to you?" Or whatever it would make me mad. Because I didn't want to talk about it. My guess, and it's only a guess is perhaps you hurt his feelings when asking that. Perhaps something happened he didn't want to talk about. But dude seriously, it's been 10yrs. People grow up fast. Not everyone is the same they were two years ago. Some mature at different rates and some never mature. It seems to me that guy got over the past but you haven't. You will never be happy if you don't let go of the past... especially if it was 10yrs ago, you were 4 at the time.

I can understand you feeling bad because people make fun of you, but dude, I was made fun over each and everyday. People teased me, talked behind and infront of me and staired at me. I got in a few school fights because of it. But I've learned I wasted too much of my life worring about what people think. Life is too short to do so. Also, I've learned school isn't life. Sure it helps you mature a bit, but when you get out of high school you have the whole world out there. Like I said, you can't always look to the past, if you do, you can never move forward. Also, don't worry about your sister's friend. You can't tell someone not to hang out with someone just because you don't like them. Perhaps, if y'all give each other respect and talk to one another, you may find some common ground. You will never know if you don't try.

I don't mean for this to come out wrongly but my point is that you can't continue to hold a heavy burden on your shoulders and to hold grudes. You can never be happy doing so. If things happen, let it. Do all you can and then let the rest take care of itself... that's what I say. Life will be tough but that's life. My advice is to just smile. May not seem like much but it really helps one's attitude. It really does help.

i couldnt believe he was praying this over me when he was someone who had given me one of those wounds.

Life is weird that way. Like i'ved said, people grow up and mature. ANd if you found people praying for you that should show you that people do care for you. LIke I've said, not everyone stays shallow and rude.

Reminds me of this one kid in Highschool. Freshmen year he would tease me so I was going to fight him but he backed down. ANwyays, I held a grudge for a few years. Then, senior year he was a totally different person. He was actually a kind person. Who would have known? I never saw that coming because he was the one of the meanest people I knew. But yes, people change.

I'm sorry that you hadn't had the best things happen to you, but I can totally relate to you, I really can. Wounds cannot heal if you don't allow them too. The best way to do so is to just try letting the past go, it's done- it's over. Try looking forward and continue to smile. Also, have faith in God, He can do more then people give him credit for.
Anwyays, I'll pray

[Swordguy]

Matt 18
21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?â€

[sonichiro]

thank you guys so much. i am trying to forgive, and it s weird because i thought i was over all of it. but lately ive been looking back on my life so far and seeing it all over again and feeling those wounds all over again. and i know people change and become better people over time. i know i shouldnt hosd a grudge for ten years. so thank you fro your advice and please continue to pray that i will be able to forgive. thanks again and God bless.

[Little T-chan]

I WILL PRAY FOR YOU SONICHIRO YOU POOR CHILD!! T.T I understand that it hurts very much, but it won't when you hand your troubles to God. God will heal you completely and keep you under His protective bubbly hand!!! He will bless you like crazy and love you!!! <3 <3 ^^ It sounds beautiful, ne? XD Kyaaa, God will make you happy Sonichiro!!! Bye bye~

[sonichiro]

thanks, t-chan. you always seem to brighten my day! ^__^.