Postby Arbre » Thu Jan 20, 2005 8:36 pm
Bakura_fan, you'll definitely be in my prayers, too.
I've gone through periods of what sounds like what you described too. It can be some of the scariest stuff in the world, to not necessarily *feel* close to God. But it's a relationship, and relationships have high and low points. There are times when I wake up and I think "Wow, I love my family so much and I want to just spend time with them." But other times, even though I do love them, I'm not totally feeling that, not completely enveloped in the happiness that I feel like should accompany that... It works with other relationships too. The more I do for them and with them, though, the more I know that I love them.
With me, even if I don't feel like reading the Bible or spending time praying, even if I can read a few verses or pray a short prayer of gratitude (there's always something to be thankful for... always), then it helps. If nothing else, it's keeping communication going. Also, when I'm so depressed that the thought "I wish I could just die" starts creeping in, I turn on the radio to the Christian station here and try to get the focus off of myself, and onto God.
I have no idea if anything there helps. I may be able to relate on everything, but I do sincerely want you to be at peace and be happy.
I'm sorry you're having a difficult time with things, sorry that you're stressed out.
We haven't really talked before, but if you see me online here, definitely feel free to PM. You seem like a really sweet person too.
Definitely be praying for you, Bakura_fan.