Yall probably know that I put a request about awhile back about witnessing to my friend Andrew. (he's ethnically Jewish, but goes with Atheism.) Well, Friday, I had a dream about him that really disturbed me.
When I woke up, I felt wonderful! It was the best dream I've ever had in my life. I met Andrew face-to-face for the first time! I was giddy all day and kept thinking about him..Well, last night I began to think about some things in my dream, and the more disturbed I became. In part of my dream, a blond girl dropped her keychain. I picked it up and noticed a cross attached to it. I asked, "Hey, are you a Christian?" She answered, "Yes." I pointed at Andrew (who was facing the other way) and asked, "Do you know him?"
"Yeah. We go to the same school. He's a friend of mine."
"Have you witnessed to him?"
She looked at me in shock. "No, I haven't really thought about it."
Then she disappeared. I went all happy again and walked around with Andrew. We engaged in small talk, but nothing big. Later in my dream, we were at my house. I couldn't sleep so decided to play a video game. Note that is was pitch black outside, and I mean totally dark, no light at all. The only glow came from our TV. I went into our family room and Andrew was sitting on the couch, watching TV. I walked over and pawed through some games. All of a sudden, he was really mad, and yelled at me, but I didn't know why. I tried to calm him down, and it worked.
Later, I was introducing Andrew to my friend Sarah. She said, "Oh, yall look so cute together!" and smiled. I grinned and Andrew answered, "Yeah..but there are things we'd have to work out." I looked up to him and saw such a sadness in his eyes..my dream-heart almost broke. He looked so..empty. Something similar happened in another part of the dream, at his house. We were playing games and he had that sadness in his eyes again..
And throughout the entire dream, it was an utterly suffocating dark outside.
I tried to just focus on the heart-skipping joy of finally meeting..but then..I started to interpret what the dream might mean. Should I try to witness again? Do what blonde failed in part one? Should I try to show him a way out of his anger and sadness? I don't know. The dream feels like more than a jumble of random thoughts during sleep. But I don't know if God was telling me something or what. It really scares me.
Last night in the shower, I just broke down and started to cry. I banged my head on the wall in anguish of not knowing. I prayed and sang hynms..and kept on crying. I got in bed and hugged my blue bear tight and just let my tears fall quietly while whispering a long and sincere prayer. I guess I eventually ended up crying myself to sleep. I want to try to show Andrew the Truth again, I want to know why my heart..my soul hurts so much for him. This is the second occasion I've really sobbed in prayer specifically for him. Please pray that God will give me wisdom and understanding..and quell my worried heart. Also pray for Andrew..he needs the Lord so badly..