problems with suicide

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problems with suicide

Postby chibi_chan » Thu Dec 23, 2004 10:19 pm

Latly i've been having some dark thoughts, and sometimes I think about suicide and that i'm a bother to everyone. I havn't told anyone about this yet but now it's gotten outa hand to the point where I question my faith. Thanks in advance and i'm sorry if this is not importent enough.
happy go luck monkey!
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akai tsuki wo nagameteta kara nakitai hodo boku no fuan wa
itsumo kioku no katasumi ni kasabuta mitai ni nokoru yo
itai kurai kirei datta kedo hikari no naka no boku no kage wo
ano takai kanransha de dareka ga waratta ki ga shita

hitsuji no kigurumi wo kita mama yaseta otoko no ko ga odokete
haku iki wo shiroku sasete inoru youni te wo awaseta
ano ko to sora no aida ni wa toumei na nanika ga aru kara
kitto negai wa todokanai sukoshi samuku naru yuuenchi

nanimokamo uso ni naru daremo inaku naru

boku no naka no boku wo itsuka katai GARASU bin ni tsumete
hi no ataru niwa no kadan ni koneko to issho ni umeyou
mizutamari ni utsuru kao wa tsumetai ame de gushagusha ni
chigireteitta ato ni tada no iro ni kawaridashita yo

maboroshi no BERU ga nari keshiki ga kasumi daseba
nanimokamo uso ni naru daremo inaku naru

boku no naka no boku wo itsuka katai GARASU bin ni tsumete
hi no ataru niwa no kadan ni koneko to issho ni umeyou
mizutamari ni utsuru kao wa tsumetai ame de gushagusha ni
chigireteitta ato ni tada no iro ni kawaridasu yo

yasashiku gin'iro no ame ga machi no subete ni furisosogu
michi no haji de sagashiteita boku wo yatto mitsuketa
isu no ue ni hana no ue ni ashi ga nai roba no senaka ni
komakai ame ga furisosogu boku no ue ni mo _____.
song: Hontou no Uso by PLastic Tree lyrics:anime lyrics
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Thu Dec 23, 2004 10:25 pm

*hug* i will pray for you. Remember, that God is always faithful, and temptations are possible to overcome. He will not test you beyond your strength ^^ (1 corinthians 10:13)
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Postby Nate » Thu Dec 23, 2004 10:31 pm

chibi_chan wrote:i'm sorry if this is not importent enough.

It is extremely important.

I know exactly how you feel. I know all too well the pains of depression, I suffer from it almost daily. I understand how you feel about the suicide thing too. I have had that problem myself. I know how you feel when you say that you feel like a bother to everyone. I'm having that same problem currently.

That said, I have never felt that you were a bother to me, in fact, you are really awesome. Suicide seems so simple, especially when you consider that Heaven waits on the other side of death. However, having recently experienced the death of a family member (not by suicide, but a death nonetheless), I can tell you how absolutely horrible a death in the family feels. Suicide would make your family depressed and sad, it would put them through hell, and I know you don't want that for your family.

I will be praying for you, as I understand your pain quite well and don't wish it on anyone.

:hug:
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Ezekiel 23:20
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Thu Dec 23, 2004 10:32 pm

yes, kae tells the truth. It seems like it is a good path. But it will cause many people to feel pain. Including us, we care for you too. Even though we are only aquantiences through the internet. You are a sister of Christ to us.
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Postby Yahshua » Thu Dec 23, 2004 10:33 pm

Ah I will prays for you my sister. As always remember this you are wonderfully made by our Father in Heaven that for your sake that He give His only Son to dies for you. That no matter how depress you are Father will always be there and heal all your wounds. As First Peter has says faith that gone through trial are better then Gold. Remember rejoice always I says again Rejoice by Paul. So don't give up and move forward. Remember the living water inside of you.
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Postby Mr. SmartyPants » Thu Dec 23, 2004 10:35 pm

1 Corinthians 10:13
"No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. "

Ill keep on praying ^^
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Postby Adol » Thu Dec 23, 2004 10:37 pm

Life does get better as time goes by. If you feel like things are at their worst, they can only get better right? We will pray for you, guard your heart.
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Postby Debitt » Thu Dec 23, 2004 10:50 pm

*hugs chibi* Of course its important! I'm glad you're mentioning things now, before things do get out of hand. I'll be sure to keep you in my prayers!
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Postby Kokhiri Sojourn » Thu Dec 23, 2004 10:55 pm

I'm praying for you, Chibi. I know in many ways, when you get to points like this, logic doesn't seem to really matter. You could see evidence, know that it's true, yet still feel that somehow it might not be. Self-worth can seem that way sometimes. You know that being made in God's image, and being His child and daughter gives you tremendous value and meaning, yet still sin and failing seems to always point to us not adding up. Know that doubt is just that - doubt. I know that many people love you, and that you love and care for many as well. Talk to God about it. We're praying for you.
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Postby ssj2gohan61 » Thu Dec 23, 2004 11:20 pm

ill pray for you too
Love is that feeling you get when a girl looks at you and it feels like your driving a car at high speeds and experience a sudden drop. You know what i mean? That sudden sinking feeling you get in your stomach? Yeah, that's love. Leave's you speechless everytime.
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Postby Kura Ookami » Thu Dec 23, 2004 11:22 pm

There are many people here on CAA that love you. It most definately is important enough.

I know your mom, dad and siblings would also most definately miss you if you did die. It would cause them alot of pain and make them really sad.

I will definately be praying for you Chibi-chan :hug:
Absence is to love as wind is to a flame. It extinguishes the little, it ignites the great.

Life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been real life you would have have been instructed where to go and what to do.

When i argue with reality I lose.....But only 100% of the time.

Once you've decided on a course of action, only you can finish it. As long as you remember that, there's nothing you can't accomplish.
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Postby EireWolf » Thu Dec 23, 2004 11:37 pm

Hi Chibi. I just want to tell you... You are so precious... especially to your mom. She is so proud of you and loves you so much. She talks about you to me alot, in very good ways, and I know that she would be devastated if you killed yourself. I encourage you to talk to her about this; she can help you.

Needless to say, you're very precious to God too. He created you for a purpose, and you have a bright and wonderful future! He's given you many talents. For one, you're a wonderful artist and you're getting better every day.

It's not unusual to feel the way you do... you're not alone. But please, please don't do anything to harm yourself. You have a family and friends that love you dearly, and things will never get so bad that suicide is the best option. There is always a better way out of a situation... sometimes it just takes some time and patience. God is always with you, even if you don't feel Him there sometimes. Call out to Him, talk to a friend or your mom or dad, talk to us here at CAA, but always walk away from those dark thoughts.

We're here for you, chibi. God is here for you. Life is a wonderful adventure... I will be praying for courage for you to live it to the fullest.
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
[indent]~~Gandalf, in Fellowship of the Ring[/indent]
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Postby Aka-chan » Fri Dec 24, 2004 12:07 am

Chibi_imouto-chan, I've never cried for a movie, book, anime, or song, but I know I would cry if anything happened to you. You're dearly loved not only by God, but by me and so many others. I'll pray for you, and you can always pm me if you need to.
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Postby Mr. Rogers » Fri Dec 24, 2004 12:20 am

will pray. your cool, we wouldn't want you hurting yourself.
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Postby ShiroiHikari » Fri Dec 24, 2004 7:04 am

I'll pray for you. we love you! when I start feeling like this, I try to keep Jeremiah 29:11 in mind. it says that God has plans to prosper us and not to harm us. you're still very young and have a whole life to look forward to!

also, like EireWolf said:

" wrote:God is always with you, even if you don't feel Him there sometimes. Call out to Him, talk to a friend or your mom or dad, talk to us here at CAA, but always walk away from those dark thoughts.


^_^ feel better, have a merry Christmas, and God bless.
fightin' in the eighties
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Postby Spirit_Wolf8356 » Fri Dec 24, 2004 7:32 am

*hugs Chibi* It's very important and you're very important. You've never been a bother to me, and I don't think you could find anyone on CAA with a bad comment about you. You're so sweet. I'll be praying for you, most definitely, and I'm practically always on line if you need to talk.


The choice has been made. There's no looking back. I won't let up, back up, give up, or shut up. My focus clear. My path is straight. My God, reliable. I'm a disciple of Christ.

Gods plan is like the sun. its too big and bright to look at directly, and sometimes the rain clouds cover it, but sometimes the plan dapples through the clouds and we can see beautiful glimpses of what he has in store for us.
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Postby chibi_chan » Fri Dec 24, 2004 6:31 pm

Thanks everyone for the nice coments^^*hugs* When I read your posts I felt like crying on some of them, but they made me very happy and I think i'm feeling better.^^

Thanks again *hugs*

p.s. sorry it took so long to reply I didn't feel like coming on CAA the last coupla of days so thats why.
happy go luck monkey!
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akai tsuki wo nagameteta kara nakitai hodo boku no fuan wa
itsumo kioku no katasumi ni kasabuta mitai ni nokoru yo
itai kurai kirei datta kedo hikari no naka no boku no kage wo
ano takai kanransha de dareka ga waratta ki ga shita

hitsuji no kigurumi wo kita mama yaseta otoko no ko ga odokete
haku iki wo shiroku sasete inoru youni te wo awaseta
ano ko to sora no aida ni wa toumei na nanika ga aru kara
kitto negai wa todokanai sukoshi samuku naru yuuenchi

nanimokamo uso ni naru daremo inaku naru

boku no naka no boku wo itsuka katai GARASU bin ni tsumete
hi no ataru niwa no kadan ni koneko to issho ni umeyou
mizutamari ni utsuru kao wa tsumetai ame de gushagusha ni
chigireteitta ato ni tada no iro ni kawaridashita yo

maboroshi no BERU ga nari keshiki ga kasumi daseba
nanimokamo uso ni naru daremo inaku naru

boku no naka no boku wo itsuka katai GARASU bin ni tsumete
hi no ataru niwa no kadan ni koneko to issho ni umeyou
mizutamari ni utsuru kao wa tsumetai ame de gushagusha ni
chigireteitta ato ni tada no iro ni kawaridasu yo

yasashiku gin'iro no ame ga machi no subete ni furisosogu
michi no haji de sagashiteita boku wo yatto mitsuketa
isu no ue ni hana no ue ni ashi ga nai roba no senaka ni
komakai ame ga furisosogu boku no ue ni mo _____.
song: Hontou no Uso by PLastic Tree lyrics:anime lyrics
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Postby Rogie » Fri Dec 24, 2004 7:09 pm

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better (and sorry for missing the thread, since my visits have been a little sporadic the past couple of days, too!). I'll be praying for you, and as everyone else has said, we love you here at CAA! :thumb:
Zar wrote:Praise God for all things awesome. Life ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But sanctify the Lord your God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
-- 1 Peter 3:15
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Postby true_noir_chloe » Fri Dec 24, 2004 9:31 pm

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: WARNING: you will be royally glomped when I log off. ;)

Thank you all for praying for Sarah and the encouraging words. :)
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Postby ZiP » Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:20 pm

I will pray for you, and encourage you with some things:

1. Your family loves you, and would definitely prefer you alive to dead.

2. Everyone here at the CAA loves you, and would prefer you alive to dead.

3. I love all my brothers and sisters, and that includes you.

ZiP
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"Feelings, emotions, they are good, but they cannot be Love's foundation. When of Love, these things last. When of romance, these things end."

"Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is everything."
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Postby sunet » Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:34 pm

i will pray for you!!
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Postby chibi_chan » Sun Dec 26, 2004 2:16 pm

Thanks guys, just the other day my mom said something to me that was very encouraging and it really made me feel happy. Thanks again for praying for me^^ *get glomped by T_N_C*
happy go luck monkey!
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akai tsuki wo nagameteta kara nakitai hodo boku no fuan wa
itsumo kioku no katasumi ni kasabuta mitai ni nokoru yo
itai kurai kirei datta kedo hikari no naka no boku no kage wo
ano takai kanransha de dareka ga waratta ki ga shita

hitsuji no kigurumi wo kita mama yaseta otoko no ko ga odokete
haku iki wo shiroku sasete inoru youni te wo awaseta
ano ko to sora no aida ni wa toumei na nanika ga aru kara
kitto negai wa todokanai sukoshi samuku naru yuuenchi

nanimokamo uso ni naru daremo inaku naru

boku no naka no boku wo itsuka katai GARASU bin ni tsumete
hi no ataru niwa no kadan ni koneko to issho ni umeyou
mizutamari ni utsuru kao wa tsumetai ame de gushagusha ni
chigireteitta ato ni tada no iro ni kawaridashita yo

maboroshi no BERU ga nari keshiki ga kasumi daseba
nanimokamo uso ni naru daremo inaku naru

boku no naka no boku wo itsuka katai GARASU bin ni tsumete
hi no ataru niwa no kadan ni koneko to issho ni umeyou
mizutamari ni utsuru kao wa tsumetai ame de gushagusha ni
chigireteitta ato ni tada no iro ni kawaridasu yo

yasashiku gin'iro no ame ga machi no subete ni furisosogu
michi no haji de sagashiteita boku wo yatto mitsuketa
isu no ue ni hana no ue ni ashi ga nai roba no senaka ni
komakai ame ga furisosogu boku no ue ni mo _____.
song: Hontou no Uso by PLastic Tree lyrics:anime lyrics
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Postby The Shadow » Sun Dec 26, 2004 4:34 pm

i wouldnt be so sure about the heaven on the other side as sugested in an
earlier post
cauze it says in the bible not to harm yourself.
but hay you should know that that God does have a purpose for you
and mabey in the future you will be able to help people who are in the same postion. mabey this is part of Gods plan for you

any way i will pray for you :mutter:
....................you may laugh at my age but we'll see everytyhing at judgment ................
((((((((((((but the candle burns alone, it guides us saftely home.-ZAO)))))))))))))

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>but i will leave my mark in this world<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
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Postby sonichiro » Sat Jan 01, 2005 9:17 pm

you are not a bother!! don't allow those feelings to enter your spirit! call on the name of the Lord and he will be your rock, he will be your quiet hiding place. i always feel as if i'm the odd man out. everyone seems to pass me by, its like i'm here but my prescence is annoying and so people choose not awcknowledge me. it sometimes feels like i'm not even here anymore and i'm just a shell but i banish those thoughts and feelings because i know that they are lies from the devil. read through the Bible and God will show you something, there is a message waiting in there that God wants you to read.
-- if white was black and black was white, what of shades of grey?
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Postby CobaltAngel » Sat Jan 01, 2005 10:18 pm

O_O *hug* CHIIIIIBIII!!! YOU'RE NOT A BOTHER! WE ALL LOVE YOU~~
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Postby wiggins » Sun Jan 02, 2005 6:12 am

I'll pray too.
Being a Christian makes me a different otaku; Being an otaku doesn't make me a different Christian!
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Postby Heart of Sword » Thu Jan 06, 2005 2:15 pm

CAA would be way boring without you. ;)

Stick around, don't worry, keep praying. Most everyone goes through dark times like these.
Heart of Sword's Rhapsody

Money, get away
Get a good job with good pay and you're okay
And all and all you're just another brick in the wall
Shoutin’ in the street gonna take on the world some day
But Bismallah will not let me go
Because I'll see you on the dark side of the moon

Tommy used to work on the docks
Union's been on strike
Bright eyes burning like fire
And exposing every weakness
However carefully hidden by the kids

Who will love a little Sparrow
Who's traveled far and cries for rest
Spare him his life from this monstrosity

I've seen a million faces and I've rocked them all
And if the band youre in starts playing different tunes
We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you!

[Pink Floyd fan listening to Queen and hugging trees which is also known as taking care of God's creation with a pair of headphones on listening to Nightwish as loud as possible while writing a novel on a computer in the middle of a field filled with Wolves.]

[Bassist...finally learning Money]
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Postby Anna Mae » Fri Jan 07, 2005 7:28 pm

Thank you, Lord, for being with Chibi_chan through these difficult times. Thank you for always being here for us.
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“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!â€
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