Great. Little sister's a yaoi/yuri fan.

[Kat Walker]

Well, I just recieved a nasty little shock. Apparently my 14-year old sister has taken quite a liking to 'shipping same-sex One Piece characters. Being an avid fanfic writer, she proudly announced that her next work will include either a boy-boy or girl-girl affair of some sort.

I had time only to give her a bemused glance before she launched into the standard yaoi/yuri/whatever-ai fangirl tirade -- "I don't see anything wrong with it! Don't be so close-minded!"

*sigh* I'm just waiting until she gets a grasp on the word "homophobe" and announces she's been a closeted bisexual since she was 4. Then I'm in for it.

Any advice?

[Raiden no Kishi]

Read to her the verse in Romans 1 that deals with homosexuality.

Rai

[CobaltAngel]

Dude, that's how this frickin world is teaching teens to think. She's probably been sucked into it. I'll pray for you, like Raiden said, show he that verse. Also, maybe you can get her to join CAA for some good Christian fanfiction influences. ^_~ *hug*

[Ashley]

I would suggest perhaps probing her as to *why* she likes it so much, then you can more effectively combat it. I.e., if she can only answer "cause my friends like it" or "It's popular", then you can show her scripture where we are told to be set apart from the world, or explain popularity doesn't equal good. If you likes it because she agrees with homosexuality, then you can attack that problem more effectively.

[AngelSakura]

Oh, I have friends like this. Or rather, friend. She's a yaoi/shounen-ai fangirl and insists on reiterating yaoi Trigun fanfiction during lunch, mainly because she knows I don't like it. She uses a different arguement, though: "But it's cute!" To which I respond: "Whatever, but could you not tell me about it while I'm eating?"

[Kat Walker]

Well, regarding her opinion on Biblical issues, I'm not sure she's entirely clear on the concept of homosexuality explicitly stated as sinful. She's a really nice kid and obviously likes to sympathize with people, but I'm quite afraid that being too direct or abrasive about it will drive her completely away from God as she's very adamantly pro-gay....probably more pro-gay than Christian, I'd wager.

Prayer is appreciated. Now I'm trying to mull over my options...

[Sesshoumaru]

What oh so many people said already.Pray for her mostly.It's odd to me how at
my age she has an affection to yaoi/yuri.But be straight up about and explain the whole issue with homosexuality

[Hephzibah]

Unfortunately, this kind of stuff only increase until Jesus' return. It doesn't help that from an early age, people are told to be accepting of others beliefs, practises and habits that are completely against Biblical standards. They are taking 'tolerance' way beyond what's healthy.
I will make sure to pray for your sister Kat. It's so sad how people are being led astray in these times

[Sesshoumaru]

Yeah that's true.It's also sad how people are so quick to blame God for their problems

[Mave]

Well, I think I was about 15 when I got interested in yaoi. I was very curious and didn't really know what was the whole deal with homosexuality from a spiritual point of view then. It went on for a year or two and one day, I just woke up deciding that I didn't wanna do it anymore since it just felt wrong. Simple as that.

I guess you could do what Ash suggested but apart from that, I can only offer the suggestion of praying. It's most likely that you can't force the sibling to accept your opinion at the moment since she's probably at that age of rebellion and she's still trying to figure things out. In my case, the only thing that convinced me to reject yaoi eventually was not church, not christian friends or family....it was just the conviction which I believe came from the Holy Spirit.

EDIT: Point is, it could be a passing phase of life but either ways, it's important not to allow it to take ground so yeah we need to pray for her and wisdom for you so you'll know what's the best way to deal with it in this specific case.

[EvilSporkofDoom]

heh, I remember myself going through the same thing when I was 14 - I got heavily into yaoi and yuri (especially yaoi) fanfiction at that age, and the interest continued for about three years. I became so desensitized to it that the only romantic fanfiction I would read involved same-sex pairings, and heterosexual romance was boring and even a turn-off to me. I gave it up a while ago because I stopped ignoring the moral compunction I had as a result, and just recently did it finally lose all of it's appeal to me, which I'm thankful for.
I think the allure of yaoi/yuri is that even though it's not considered that unusual by most people, it still has the "forbidden fruit" appeal to it, and because it's a deviant from the norm and therefore considered more intriguing and controversial. From what I've seen with my experience with fanfiction.net, it's also more voguish to write homosexual romances because many writers like to prove they're not close-minded or confined by standards of normalcy by daring to write about more risqué and controversial themes (e.g. yaoi/incest/pedophilia, amongst other things). They can also easily counter any negative criticism they receive by presuming the critic is homophobic/close-minded/whathaveyou.
Like other people have said, I suggest prayer for your sister, of course.. and perhaps trying to convince her that open-mindedness and tolerance for everything is not a good thing..

[Kisa]

Pray hard.. I am sorry....
I'll be praying.

[skynes]

Tell her not to be too open minded or her brains will fall out... lol

I've never come across anything like this so any non-joking advice I can't provide. I will pray for this however, that God gives you the right words to say and that he opens your sister's eyes to what this really is.

[Kat Walker]

Thanks for the help. I'm reluctant to outright censor her as it would probably only make her more resolute that people who dislike yaoi are evil gay-hating bigots. Especially for someone in the midst of teenhood, I don't want to give her any more of a reason to develop the "us vs. teh evil h0m0phob3s!1!!" mentality.

Still, I wonder if I could use a moderate filter....shonen-ai is bad enough, but I seriously will not allow her to move onto anything more 'adult' than that. If I find out she's saving that garbage on my computer (I'm the main user & the computer belongs to me, so I thankfully have control over these things) I will delete it IMMEDIATELY and have a little talk with her.

What I can't really control, however, is her fanfic writing. I've read over a few, and while there's no yaoi yet there is most certainly language and mildly risque het ships. *feel really weird looking at that* Even if I set limits to what she can save on here, she'll find somewhere else to do it.

I want to start limiting her exposure to this stuff right away, as she's really new to the fandom and if I'm lucky her interest will ebb. I just need to find a way to do it that's within my rights and is not unfair censorship towards her.

[Mangafanatic]

You could try putting up a heavier internet filter. That might keep her away from some of this stuff. Maybe.

As Ashley said, prodding for motives might be helpful in pin pointing what the actual problem is. Once you know what the actual problem is-- you might want to ask a pastor or someone for advice on how to go about talking to her.

[shooraijin]

Thanks for the insightful post, Lina. I was always wondering what the attraction was, and that makes sense (sadly).

[girlninja]

it's hard to tell a girl especially a teenager to go against the tide that the world is set (not saying it shouldn't be done just sayin sympathy) as far as advice i know a friend who used to like yaoi/yuri and is a christian..she used the same excuse "But i think it's cute! it's hot etc etc." my response is that just becuz you think it's cute doens't make it wrong...as far as being too abrasive that's hard...especially in today's culture where we are taught to be "open minded", all i can say is that i'll pray God will open her heart and help her to see the right way. Maybe if explaining to her first about homosexuality openly she will be more apt to talk about anime.

[girlninja]

i was reading over the other posts about creating a filter...i think that would work to do that i think you just have to be careful that you don't push her to rebellion like my big sis wont let me do it i'm gonna do it anyway mentality.

as far as the fanfic writing that's hard becuz she can go anywhere with it...but i think first is to create a heavier net filter that might help some of it make it harder to acess but i think the rest is going to be up to her essentially and whether or not she views it as wrong >< it's a sad world we live in*sigh*

[Heart of Sword]

That stuff is sick. On eBay, I was looking for Kenshin manga (I didn't know what yaoi-doujinshi was)...I clicked Rurouni Kenshin Yaoi Romance to see what "volume" it was, and...there was a picture of Sano and Kenshin hugging...and I was like, "Oro???" and then saw the description "Cute doujinshi about a love affair between Kenshin and Sano......." I didn't have to read the rest. I clicked off the internet and sat there, staring at the screen, thinking "What sick person made that up?! Kenshin loves Kaoru..."

Uhm...yeah...yaoi/yuri is disgusting...'specially out-of-context yaoi. *blech*

[Heart of Sword]

EDIT: Sano + Kenshin yaoi is the most disgusting yaoi I've heard of...


EDIT2: Hentai is worse than yaoi in my opinion. She might be onto that next...

[shooraijin]

Let's not get diverted. Any other suggestions people have for Kat?

[agasfas]

Advice... one thing I'm really not good at... What about sitting down w/ your sister to talk to her about it? Not like a lecture but just a chat explaining the beauty of a girl/boy relationship.

-or-
Have her watch a dramatic romance anime movie or series such as... hmm... Kanon
Ceres (though it has violence)
Kimagure Orange road (movie or series): the movie is pretty moving
or even Princess nine-- It's a sports anime but has a heavy side of drama.

Just make sure it has a very heart warming story. I know there are tons, just can't think of any off the top of my head.

Perhaps it may help her see the beautiful side of a heterosexual relationship that you can't get from the same sex.

Not much w/ suggestions, sorry.

[AngelSakura]

<<Uhm...yeah...yaoi/yuri is disgusting...'specially out-of-context yaoi. *blech*>>
You said it. Do you have any idea the crap I have to sift through to get decent Trigun doujinshi/fanart? Blech. I mean, there is no basis for this stuff. I once read a gag fanfic where a fangirl said something along the lines of, "But Wolfwood talked to Vash so they must be yaoi lovers!" Sometimes that seems to be the only logic these people use. -_-

[soul alive]

i totally sympathize with you. i have a friend who was into yaoi/shounen-ai stuff, only her main story that it was from was - Harry Potter... between Harry and Drako. she would look up fan drawings all the time, print them off, carry them around in a notebook, show them to us, wrote her own fan-fic about the two of them, and played rpgs based upon it. my Christian friend and i flat out refused to look at the pictures, listen to her go on about her fan-fic and fan art, but the other people in our group humored her. her excuse - in a squeally fan-girl type voice - "but it's cute" ...

that seems to be a pretty darn common excuse... puppies are cute, kittens are cute, people of the same gender behaving romantically toward each other is not, in any way.

as far as advice for dealing with her... beyond what has already been said... maybe giving her consequences for what she is doing... anytime you find her looking at yaoi stuff or writing it, she gets suspended from using your computer for a period of time, with increasing length for each repeated offense.

and i will pray for you and your sister.

[Cap'n Nick]

I wish I had the answer to this one. A lot of my problems in faith have to do with how to share it without being written off as closed-minded or irrelevant, and dealing with homosexuality makes that worse times a million. Sometimes it feels like I'm being held to a double standard because I have to go out of my way to prove that I am sincere and worth listening to.

In the end I've found that all I can do is try to live up to this standard so that even when people disagree with me, they will still listen to me. And honestly, most people do disagree with me when I try to change their behavior. But sometimes, they don't, and more often than that, they change gradually, on their own terms. Ultimately, your sister must make this decision on her own. It is important for you to keep the lines of communication open and to remind her that even if you disagree, you still have her best interests at heart.

[Jman]

I don't know much on this subject, but I will be praying for her.

[Arbre]

I obviously don't know your sister well at all, but I do have a sister who is that age. I'm not sure if anything that I would do could apply, but going off of what I would do...

Besides a lot of prayer, I would talk with her about several topics. One would be the necessity of setting limits to open-mindedness and tolerance of actions. It's very possible to disagree with what people do but still not hate the person (I love my family and they love me, even though we disagree on huge things). I'd go with some examples (not using yaoi), and hope that she could make the bridge of throught that leads to application there on her own in a short time.

I'd also tell her my opinions on her writing.

Maybe she could get involved in a new hobby with a little encouragement (or just light suggestion).


I'll continue to pray for you and your sister, Kat.

[Nate]

It's very possible to disagree with what people do but still not hate the person (I love my family and they love me, even though we disagree on huge things).

Agreed. Just because you don't approve of something a person does, doesn't mean you don't love them. If my brother murdered someone, I'd still love him, even though I would hate the fact that he murdered someone. It's the same with homosexuality, since it's a sin just like any other.

Other than that, most other people have given all the suggestions I would've given. Just keep at it. I'll pray for her too.

[Mave]

For some members of this thread, do you know that we have a forum to let off your frustrations about yaoi by MyrrhLynn? Well, it's down at the moment but it's something I wanted to let you guys know of. http://www.myrrhlynn.net/antiyaoi/

One final thought, perhaps you could try and look at this from a positive point of view. It provides opportunities for you to talk to your sister about topics that really matter among teenagers. Yes, it's uncomfortable and no one wishes for this to happen to their siblings, but let's make the best of the situation and hope that it'll bless your sister instead.

[Kat Walker]

Good advice all around, although it's getting to the point where I might need to get my parents involved.

I can unfortunately verify that the situation has gotten worse -- she's writing hentai (although non-yaoi) fanfics. I know this because she just went off to do something else and neglected to close anything on the computer when I came to log on...needless to say there was a certain unfinished .doc file describing in shamlessly glorious detail far more lower body functions than I care to mention. ¬_¬;

I can't say I'm shocked, but now this situation is getting really akward. I'm going to take her out for ice cream sometime and have a really long talk with her about it. With her raging teenage horomones I don't want her to get addicted to the stuff.