My friend

Postby **Anna Mae** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 5:12 am

My friend (and some relations) were abused very badly by her father as a child. Her father left, and has been gone for five years. Now, she has found out that he wants her back in his life. He is going to force her to keep her maiden name when she gets married, and since the college she wants to attend is sort-of near where he is, he wants her to live with him. He says he's changed, but she says she can tell he obviously hasn't. She is scared, and bitter, and hurt. Also, to add to her problems, she is being sexually abused by a boy at school, and no one will believe her. Oh, and by the way, she is a Christian. So, please pray for her. She is in desperate need.

Postby **Jaltus-bot** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 10:29 am

I will pray for your friend. I hate when people get abused.

Postby **Dragon Master** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 10:48 am

Yes i'll pray, its so sad when you just take a moment to think about how twisted and cruel people in this world can really be...

Postby **Rogie** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 3:39 pm

I'll remember your friend in prayer.

Postby **Swordguy** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:12 pm

I will pray that is not sounding too good

Postby **shooraijin** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:23 pm

I'll pray as well.

Why won't they believe her? Who has she approached about it? While this is a heavy topic, if she was raped or believes she was (or otherwise made to have any sexual contact against her will -- the abuse could be a great many things), it's something that needs to be communicated to someone in authority, or it will keep continuing. I'm sure she feels very ashamed, regardless of what type of abuse it was, but she needs to have help, and to know that kind of thing is never her fault.

Postby **Mave** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 8:20 am

This is awful! >_<;; Why won't they listen? Has this been reported to the police? What about her church or christian friends? I hope they can help. Coz if they don't, who else will? I'll pray for this!

Postby **true_noir_chloe** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 12:12 pm

I have to echo what Shoo and Mave said, what is going on? This is so terrible; I can't believe those in authority are not helping her. Plus, if she is entering college then she should be at an age where she can just say "no" to her evil father. She can go to the police. This is just so horrible and sad. T_T Please keep us updated on the situation, Anna Mae.

I will definitely be praying for her.

Postby **agasfas** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 5:10 pm

Wow what an ordeal. First I got a question, is she about 18-ish? I assume because your talking about college and marriage. Also, she needs to be aware, if she is of age or over 15yrs then the courts may actually give her a say so on where she wants to live. She can refuse to go back to her father. And I would also have to agree with shooraijin, if it's true she is being abused she or you may need to goto the authorities. You may even have to step in, because being a friend you need to try and help her the best you can. Even if it may jeopardize your friendship, that's what true friends need to do. Furthermore how can the father make her keep her maiden name when she gets married?>He really doesn't have a say so, it's her life. I'm don't know if he has kicked his abusive habbits, but why chance it. You should really sit down to talk to her, get her input and be there to confort her. If he's done it before, odds are he may continue. If she is scared to go back, then I don't believe they should try and make her. I will be sure to pray for her, this is quite the predicament indeed. I hope everything gets worked out. No one should have to go through this kind of abuse, ever. My advice is to try to be there for her.

Postby **Mr. Rogers** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 5:25 pm

will pray for her

Postby **Anna Mae** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 1:22 pm

Well, she goes to my church, and we believe her, but the police didn't. Apparently, before she was a Christian, she had some issues with lying, or something. Also, concerning the forcing issue, she's under a lot of pressure. Her mom was abused too, and is not that stable at the moment to help her out.

Yes, I have been doing everything I can. I have told her that she can talk to me anytime, and can come to my home is she would ever need refuge. I have listened to her. I have told her that I would be willing to back her up when she tries to talk to teachers, since I have a pretty good reputation with them, they'd probably believe me. I have told her that if she EVER needs ANYTHING she can come to me, and other people at church have offered this also. I've prayed and prayed and prayed.

She is going to Prairie View of her own free will to get help (for those of you who don't know what that is, it's an institute for the mentally insane and socially disturbed). I have affirmed her in this and have offered to visit her.

I have done everything I can think to do. If you guys have any more ideas please tell me. Thanks for your prayers!

Postby **Anna Mae** » Thu Oct 28, 2004 5:22 am

Oh, and another bit about the maiden name thing. Since she hasn't really gotten a good impression of the authorities, she most likely doesn't believe that they would support her at all. After all, they didn't help her before.

Postby **Mave** » Fri Oct 29, 2004 3:13 pm

Thanks for explaining. Sounds like praying is the right thing to do now. Alright, will continue to do so and hope for the best. Stay strong, Anna Mae and trust the Lord in His promises. I know He'll answer our prayers regarding your friend.

Postby **Anna Mae** » Thu Nov 04, 2004 5:16 am

Well, my friend is out of Prairie View now. I should have another update soon. Keep praying!

Postby **Anna Mae** » Thu Nov 04, 2004 1:26 pm

I had a chance to talk to her today. She still doesn't know more about her father and that situation. But, I found out that now she's hearing voices in her head telling her to do things like commit suicide, go on killing sprees, and other bad things. Please continue to include her in your prayers!

Postby **Anna Mae** » Fri Nov 05, 2004 5:30 am

I was wondering about the voices in the head thing. Is this schizophrenia, or maybe some other mental disorder? Or, is Satan making a direct attack on her mind? Are these sometimes the same thing? I'm not really experienced in this area, but I'd like to know so I can hopefully help in every way possible. Any input you guys have would be helpful.

Postby **Little Momo** » Sat Nov 06, 2004 5:02 am

I will Pray.

Postby **Spiritsword** » Sat Nov 06, 2004 8:31 am

I will pray.

Postby **Kura Ookami** » Sat Nov 06, 2004 8:55 am

I will definately pray for her.

Postby **Anna Mae** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 5:38 am

Thanks guys. I know it means the world to her that people care about her and are praying for her.

Postby **Yojimbo** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 7:02 am

Anna Mae wrote:I was wondering about the voices in the head thing. Is this schizophrenia, or maybe some other mental disorder? Or, is Satan making a direct attack on her mind? Are these sometimes the same thing? I'm not really experienced in this area, but I'd like to know so I can hopefully help in every way possible. Any input you guys have would be helpful.

No no schizophrenia is a real disorder. But I have never heard of a person with schizophrenia hearing that they should commit suicide or kill people. She could very well have some kind of mental disorder if she's actually hearing voices. Is it just voices she's talking about hearing or are there other things too?

Either way she needs to get some help. Just keep being there for her and help her get some counseling. And of course I'll pray for her.

Postby **Anna Mae** » Mon Nov 08, 2004 1:13 pm

Yojimbo wrote:She could very well have some kind of mental disorder if she's actually hearing voices. Is it just voices she's talking about hearing or are there other things too?

Well, she's only mentioned voices to me. What other things might you be referring to?

Postby **Anna Mae** » Tue Nov 16, 2004 5:17 am

I thought I'd give you guys an update. My friend is mad at our school, and has decided that she wants to sue it for not helping her when she needed it and for some things some teachers have done that she doesn't like. I'm not sure if this is the wisest choice of action, but she definately is going to do it. She's also going back to Prairie View (by force this time), so I probably won't get to see her for a while. Keep praying!

Postby **Anna Mae** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 5:37 am

Please keep praying! She's really depressed right now and is doubting her faith. Also, her boyfriend just broke up with her not too nicely. There's a lot more going on too, but she hasn't wanted to talk about it, so I have just tried to be there for her. Please, please continue to pray for her!

Postby **true_noir_chloe** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 12:02 pm

Thank you for the update. I've had experience with schizophrenia (my sister) and many other mental disorders, so I know that this is a definite possibility with this young friend of yours. So many things come into play in a life. Everything nurtures us to be who we will be. Whether they be bad or good, they all mix together and only by God's grace can we get past so much of the horribleness which is the fall of man.

I was talking to my friend a while back, a very wonderful young woman of God, and we were saying if our salvation had not occured how we would have probably turned out. And then, if it were not for the Lord in our lives in constant presence - and I need Him constantly around me - we would have crumbled. We concluded, how do people survive without Him?

I hope I didn't go too far off course. *heh*

Anyways, Anna Mae, I will definitely keep praying for her and you.

Postby **Mangafanatic** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 12:17 pm

WOw. . has she ever considered going to a different college?

This whole situation is terrible. I do hope she's gone to teachers or someone else who can actually do something about her current situation. I'll be praying for her.

Postby **agasfas** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 12:19 pm

My friend is mad at our school, and has decided that she wants to sue it for not helping her when she needed it and for some things some teachers have done that she doesn't like.

Did she tell anyone at school her problems? If not, the idea of suing wont get far. Do you know what the teachers done that she doesn't like? I hope she isn't going to sue over some of their policies... In all honesty, with help, the school can only do so much. They can try and provide you with the help (counseling and such) and information you need to get it. At most, they can call social services. But aside from that, they really have no power to do much more--it's out of their jurisdiction. So the idea of suing because you didn't get the help you wanted most likely wont go far.

Seems like a very difficult situation. I guess the best thing we can do is to continue to pray for her. Hopefully she will be able to confront her problems and find a way to fight them. Also, continue to be there for her, but remember you can only help if she's willing to open up. Thank you for all the updates. I'll continue to pray for her. I really hope everything works out.

Postby **Anna Mae** » Mon Jan 10, 2005 1:22 pm

I am not sure what all she intends to do with the suing thing, but I told her I wouldn't if I were her. I'm not sure what she intends to do at this point.

Postby **Anna Mae** » Tue Feb 15, 2005 5:36 am

My friend hasn't come to church for a while, and I haven't been able to contact her. Please pray that everything is ok.

Postby **Anna Mae** » Thu Feb 17, 2005 5:21 am

She came to church last night!

Apparently her parents want to send her away to a home for 'bad kids.' Even though she is 18, because of health reasons (I think) she, for now, is supposed to be in a supervised environment.

The place that they want to send her is very strict (i.e. she has to get permission to go to church, and if she gets back too late they search her). She doesn't deserve this! She isn't a bad kid! Her only problem is having lots of health issues.

Please pray that everything will work out for God's will.

My friend

My friend

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