Postby Kat Walker » Sun Oct 24, 2004 8:09 pm
I'll start with the moderately superficial:
Intelligent, bright eyes. I love them. I am rather indifferent to color (perhaps because mine are practically black I can empahasize with people who are not fond of hearing "wow, blue eyes are so dreamy!" or "hazel eyes are the hottest!"....barf!). I want to be able to look at him and know what he's feeling, what he's thinking...everything.
This is not at all a very big thing, but I actually do like long hair on men. I find it very....eh, bohemian? I dunno. It's better when they keep it in a ponytail, though. Certain 'goth' styles, when not taken to a ridiculous extreme, are also incredibly attractive.
Musicians are great. You don't have to be on you way to signing a record deal for a girl to love a serenade! My most recent boyfriend plays guitar but was always far too embarassed to sing to me. Come on! There's nothing better to me than a guy who expresses himself artistically! Speaking of which, artists and writers are good too. Novice or ridiculously talented, I don't really care. Just as long as he likes what he does.
Although skin color is absolutely not an issue, I do tend to like darker complexions. I think interracial people are really nice looking. Dark hair, a deep soothing voice, and a nice smile wrap up that package quite nicely. And lips are good. Nice, kissable lips. Eh heh.
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Now onto the meat and potatoes:
HE. MUST. BE. A. MAN. OF. GOD. PERIOD.
While he doesn't need to be the local minister, I do need a strong believer in my life who can help lead and strengthen me. We should both be an asset to each other's walk in Christ, but I need a husband who cherishes his role as my protector. I want him to love God above all else and to put Jesus in the center or our relationship. I want us to put aside time every day to devote to worship. I want him to be a godly father who raises our children to love the Lord, and deeply loves our whole family. In short, he's gotta be serious.
His personality, mannerisms, and way of carrying himself must appeal to me. I usually like very personable and outgoing men with a sweet side, although I also am a huge sucker for quiet, artistic intellectuals with a sweet side (hey, smart guys are sexy, but I don't want them to be so dry they're stale). Bonus points if he's a romantic poet. Whatever he is though, he ought to balance and compliment my own traits. I want a relationship where the two of us are better together than we are apart.
I like him to be his own person, and have a passion for important things. Especially if its anything relating to our faith, a complacent man isn't good for me. I need him to be a leader in every sense of the word. I want him to have goals and visions and for him to share mine as well.
I don't need him to be a huge fan of every single thing I like, but having a few things in common is essential. Be it hobbies or politics, we shouldn't clash severely on anything. I'm open to other people's interests, and so I want him to be with mine.
He needs to be interested in his health. I'm a vegetarian, and am fairly good about diet and exercise. I would very much like him to be the same way, so that we can both stay fit and able to do God's work. I'd also like the extra motivation to work out when I don't feel like it. ^^; I run a lot, but if his favorite sport is swimming like me -- then bonus points!
I can be very playful, so he'd better have some sort of sense of humor. I want us to be able to have fun all the time, even if it's just the two of us spending a quiet Sunday afternoon alone.
He can't be afraid of expressing love in every possible way. He'd better tell me he loves me. He'd better touch me like he loves me. He'd better treat me like he loves me. he'd better make love to me like....he loves me. He must be tender and gentle and always able to express his deepest of passions in those intimate moments.
I'm a good listener. I want him to open his heart out to me. He can't be afraid of those deep issues. He can't be afraid of shedding tears in front of me. I really appreciate it when someone confides in me, so I most certainly want to be all of that for my future husband. We must be close, we must have no secrets. We are each other's confidantes.
I'm very open to travel and new experiences, so I'd like him to be as well. Even better if he's been places already, especially on mission trips. That would seriously be the coolest thing for us to do together.
He must love me for me. Everything, good and bad. He should be unafraid to be honest and direct with me, because Lord knows I need it sometimes. Even after we argue, I want him to be the man and make the first move. And I want us to kiss and make up for a long time afterward. -_^
I want strangers to be able to whisper to each other about how we "look so much in love" and "make the perfect couple". I think that if there's a good relationship between two people, those feelings should just....glow.
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The obligatory list of utter and complete turn-offs:
Men who are too slow, too callous, unnecessarily blunt (as in more rude than honest), and have absolutely no sense of intuition or tact utterly annoy me. Being around people like that (male and female alike) drive me insane. That's probably very swollen of me, but I can't bring myself to tolerate them, no matter how hard I try.
Arrogance. Bad. No. Confidence and pride are one thing, an unresolved insecurity complex is quite another. If he's the kind of guy that needs to tote around his latest gadget or the great deal he got on his ultra-expensive whatnot because he's so brilliantly thrifty.....ugh. I know that's a general guy thing, but keep it to a bare minimum, ok? I loathe all superficial tendencies, especially if he starts treating me like his cute little trophy girlfriend as opposed to an equally worthwhile individual human being. >:[
Bad hygeine. Nothing will make me run farther than a guy whose breath is absolutely putrid and seems as though he hasn't been to the dentist since he moved out of his parent's house. Clean yourselves, people!!!
And, this may sound very bizarre, but I have no tolerance for men who fear childbirth. If you want kids, have some guts my friend. I'm not saying my husband has to watch every single contraction (he better not try to film anything, either) but I need some support and he ought to be comfortable staying in the same ROOM, at least. Guys who can't do that at the very least are absolutely pathetic and not worthy of siring offspring.
Males with no sense of emotion or intimacy aren't good for me. I don't need him to fawn over me, be overly sappy, buy me things every anniversary, or even hold my hand in public (not that I mind any of these things!) but I do need for him to be able to make me feel DEEPLY loved. If he's just one of those types that think saying "I love you" on a regular basis demeans the phrase, or that me lovingly touching him whenever I want to is "being too clingy".....bye-bye. I'd hate to one day find myself married to a guy that just wants me to feed him and have sex with him. Ugh. Nightmarish!
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I would really like that. I'd also like someone who has a bit of a mysterious air, is cultured, and is intelligent. I admit that I probably have high standards, but I don't see anything wrong with that.
"I belong to the warrior in whom the old ways have joined the new" - Katsumoto
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