Postby Spirit_Wolf8356 » Sat Oct 09, 2004 5:38 pm
Again, and update and a yanking back from 3 pages buried...
Things have gone drastically downhill again.
I just got off the phone with my mom and she said that she was thinking about packing mine, hers and my sister's bags tonight and leaving. My sister has a friend over, so the option is out, but it's still bad to hear. Dad is already saying that he's going to sleep somewhere out of the house tongiht because he can't stay in the same house as my sister.
He keeps making things worse on everyone. I'm in no way trying to pin this on my dad, but he's...a big part of the problem...almost as big a part as my sister. He keeps calling my sister names. Bad ones. He keeps yelling at mom like it's her fault, when she's doing everything she can. He's given up on the entire situation. I'm the only person in the house he'll speak to with any decency. It puts me in what I feel like is a very bad situation.
My sister, like my dad, is not helping matters any either. She is quite constantly telling my dad she hates him. She's told everyone in the house she hates them at one point, but she tells it to him more often than not. She keeps doubting the fact that Mom loves her. She keeps doing all these stupid things that keep making things worse. She's hanging out with the worst people in the neighborhood. And they're all boys. Rumor was even spreading for awhile from one of her old friends that she slept with one of them, which she fervently denies, but...how can we trust her?
Which is where Mom comes in. Mom is constantly going through my sister's stuff when she's not around, making sure she's not doing anything, but really, if she wanted to hide it, she could. Mom is on the verge of having a mental breakdown. It's very hard to see her struggling so hard to keep everything together, only to have it thrown back in her face.
I'm just trying to stay out of everyone's way and trust God. Trying very very hard. Succeeding most of the time, but other time's not so well, on both counts.
The choice has been made. There's no looking back. I won't let up, back up, give up, or shut up. My focus clear. My path is straight. My God, reliable. I'm a disciple of Christ.
Gods plan is like the sun. its too big and bright to look at directly, and sometimes the rain clouds cover it, but sometimes the plan dapples through the clouds and we can see beautiful glimpses of what he has in store for us.