i cant take it anymore

[Hitokiri]

::sigh::

Life keeps on going down and down for me....this is the most dperessed I've gotten. Please pray for me. This is the cloest for a while to Suicidal depression. I just want to die rightnow.

My life was looking up for once. But no everything is crumbling. My best friend just left my church, not sure if i will be able to see him again. Some more of my friends that I love may be leaving because they don't feel like they are getting spiritually fed (one bieng one of my other best friends - I don't see her outside of church so if she leaves, I doubt I willsee her for a while). The one girl I guess I "liked" (im not sure if I do) hasn't been ta;lking really much to me. We used to always have fun together and I found out she kinda liked me and i kinda liked her as well. But as of late, she hasn't been talking to me nor to her friends which is wierd.

Plus my life just seemes repetative and boring.

Seems kinda trivial to get depressed bout those but friends mean alot to me and to lose them is like a sharp dagger in my heart.

Please pray for me. I just don't know how long I can keep this up.

[shooraijin]

It's not trivial to be depressed over losing friends. Please don't let it be an excuse to harm yourself, though. It won't make the pain go away.

[ClosetOtaku]

I will pray. Hang in there.

[Staci]

Please, don't ever say you just "want to die right now"... It not only ticks me off to no avail but others as well and those people -- like me -- care about you.

1.) Since these friends are so valuable to you, there should be reason as to why you cannot see them outside of church. Call them on the phone. Write letters and/or emails. Chat on the internet. Set up movie times and other types of hang-out activities. Put forth some effort and you will receive rewards -- this is what the Bible teaches us. Be PROACTIVE about your relationships, don't wallow and brood about them not talking to you or going away.

2.) Girls/females/women tend to pull away from a guy they truly care about for "pondering time" as I like to call it. This is when they're deciding if their feelings are either true or false. Be gentle with her and see what's up. Just be there for her -- a true friend makes all the difference.

3.) Your life seems repetetive and boring, eh? Have you considered a new hobby? Have you taken a course or two at college? Read a new book? Played a new sport? Started a new video game? Done something totally wacky and zany that was an absolute blast? Again, put forth some effort and you will see results.

It isn't trivial to be hurt over people coming and going in your life -- that's what life is all about in the end... People go off to different areas, new experiences and meet even more people. Yes, it's completely fine to lick wounds and be hurt by this. However, it's NOT fine to brood over it and make yourself depressed and even ill.

Feel the emotions, don't dwell on them. Let them pass over you like the tides when you lay on the beach -- they are fine to feel around you, if a bit chilly, but don't drown in them.

Shoo's right about not making the pain go away... By agonizing over this for long periods of time you are causing yourself -- and your body -- undue stress. Stress is harmful, period. Just feel the emotions. Turn up the music on your headphones and have a good cry into your pillow. Write a poem or a song to get your anxieties out. Go for a jog to clear your mind.

Suggestion: read the book of Job. It's one of the best books in the Bible for someone who is going through troubles in their lives because they can relate to the book's namesake.

Turn your emotions over to the Lord if they are too much to bear. Pray that He helps you through these times. Ask Him that you still want these people in your life even if they aren't at your church! Furthermore, tell Him that you feel your life is lulling and you would like something to help pass the time. He WILL deliver.

If you constantly look at the negatives, you will go in a downward spiral. Negativity is the opposite of hope, and the Lord IS hope. Go toward him and you will be revitalized.

A church is a family -- a large, community family. Seek fellowship... Let others who are close to you know your emotions! Don't hide them... If you hide them that is what the devil wants, to separate you from the pack. Cling to those in your time of need and repay it when they need a shoulder to cry on. We are all here for each other.

I hope my post did not hurt your feelings... Sometimes a firm hand is needed in place of a tender one. I only said these things because I care for you and want to see you well. Please, please understand that.

Lastly... *SUPER DUPER HUGS* We love you, Hitokiri, and we are here for you. You're a superb member here at the CAA -- you bring light and laughter to many people here. Just set your sights towards the big picture, e.g. Heaven and the Lord. We'll help you with the praying. *~_~*

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Edit: the Lord has a purpose for everyone on this planet. It is unfair to our truest Father to remove ourselves from earth before His perscribed time.

Yes, yes I KNOW it hurts SO MUCH. Earlier this year I suffered from a moderate staph infection... One that almost landed me in the hospital in need of a blood transfusion. I was so insanely SCARED of what would happen to me that I broke down on a daily basis and sobbed in the shower for at least ten minutes. What did I do? I cried out to the Lord. Yes, I asked Him why this was happening to me, why was my body being scarred, why was I in so much pain and suffering, on and on and on I wallowed. Y'know what happened after those sessions? I felt better... Emotionally, at least. I felt closer to Him.

Sometimes we have to go through bad to remember the good, and the good is the Lord.

There must be a reason for what you're experiencing. All we can do is turn to the Lord even more... To be brought closer to Him in both our times of need and our times of happiness.

[Swordguy]

Matthew 11

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

that says it all i will pray

[true_noir_chloe]

Wow Staci, Amen! I don't think you were tough at all to Hitokiri. Hitokiri I am praying for you. I know it's tough right now, but you have many friends here.

And, Staci can I copy what you wrote and refer to it whenever I see someone struggling with depression? The Spirit was sure speaking through you today. ^__________^

[Staci]

And, Staci can I copy what you wrote and refer to it whenever I see someone struggling with depression? The Spirit was sure speaking through you today. ^__________^

*blushes crimson* Of course you can. If words paralleled from the Bible can help another soul I would be most honored and humbled!

*hugs Hitokiri again* We're still praying for you! *~_~*

[Hitokiri]

thanks alot guys

My mom always says "Things seem worst at nighttime". I am refreshed today and my head is clear. Much better than last night which was one of the worst I've been for a long time.

The one girl I told about (who one of my best friends thats a girl) was talking to me last and she's the one who is thinking bout leaving. I starte getting depressed and we both got stressed out and thats when I wrote the post. We both got off to get a breathe.

I came back on after a breathe (bout half and hour) and she was back on as well and we talked about it. She's not sure if she's leaving. She just feels that she's not feeling spiritually fed. When I first talked to her bout it, I was complaining and whining. I asked myself, what kind of encouragement to find a new church to get right with God? I apologized and we had a controlled conversation on that as well as this girl I like (who happens to be her best friend).

I felt better and I saw my one best friend whoose family left at college. We got to talk and stuff and that helped alot.

Then I met another one of my friend whom I talked for 3 hours about this entire "girl" situation and got alot of advice. Plus I talked to my father bout the samething. I have a clear picture of what I need to do bout this.

I also had a good day at school as well.

Thanks all for the prayers and continue praying for me cause Im not out of the hot water yet. Please pray that I become more acceptative of my friends whom leave and I support them. Also pray for this "girl" situation. I'm actually gonna talk to her father about this and see what his view is (me and her father are tight ::crosses fingers:: this tight)

One song that brings to mind bout depression is a song called "Promise" by Spoken where the chorus says

"Things will get better I promise to you. And I know that you won't feel this way forever. Thing's will get better I promise to you. And I know loliness won't last forever"

Maybe I should of listened to this song last night, I was listening to a depressing song.

Thanks sooooo much again ::hugs everyone::

[Ssjjvash]

yeah, that song is good. There's a verse in the Bible that says sorrow may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning. That used to happen to me a lot--I'd be upset late at night, and feel better in the morning.

I'll keep you lifted up in prayer. If you're feeling bad and stuff, you should try talking to God and telling Him all about it. Spend some time with Him. God bless you!

[Staci]

I'm glad to see you in better spirits, Hitokiri!

Things always do seem better in the morning. *~_~*

[ssj2gohan61]

ill pray for you bro

[Rogie]

Thank God you're feeling better. I'll pray for you. God's always there, and since you said that friends mean a lot to you, just always remember that God can be your Best Friend even when you can't be with others. I'll pray.

[Swordguy]

hay Glad to hear it remeber we have to have a storm to see the rainbow.

[Sam*ron]

I will pray for you, and I am happy you feel a little better.

*Hugs Hitokiri* We are still here, right!?

[Kinkosami]

I'm sorry you're feeling unhappy. I'll pray for you.

[Spirit_Wolf8356]

*tackle hugs Hitokiri* I'm so glad you're feeling better! I'll still pray for you, though. If you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm around. PM, IM, whatever. I've been feeling a little down about my friends, myself, so I can relate at least a little. And if things get to stressy, do something to clear your head. If you let stress hang around too long, you might end up getting like I did and end up physically sick.

*hugs again* Hang in there, my friend. ^_^