Note: This is not written by me, this was delivered in my email.
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. Email address issheehan@home.net. Which number are you calling from sir?
Customer: Huh? I'm at home. Where'd you get all this information?
Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
Customer: The HSS, what is that?
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add
only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
Special pizzas.
Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
Customer: Whaddya mean?
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pr essure and extremely high cholesterol. Your NationalHealth Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.
&nb sp;
Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on A motorcycle can be a little awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
yesterday.
Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in
September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke..
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this..
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
2008
10 posts •
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I'm sorta missing the point here. . .
Every year in Uganda, innumerable children simply. . . disappear. These children all stolen under the cover of darkness from their homes and impressed into the guerilla armies of the LRA [Lord's Resistance Army]. In the deserts of Uganda, they are forced to witness the mindless slaughter of other children until they themselves can do nothing but kill. Kill. These children, generally ranging from ages 5-12, are brainwashed into murdering in the name of the resistance and into stealing other children from their beds to suffer the same fate.
Because of this genocide of innocence, hundred and hundreds of children live every night sleeping in public places miles from their homes, because they know that if the do not-- they will disappear. They will become just another number in this genocide to which the international community has chosen to turn a blind eye. They will become, in affect, invisible-- Invisible Children.
But there are those who are trying to fight against this slaughter of Uganda's children. They fight to protect these "invisible children." Please, help them help a country full of children who know nothing by fear. Help save the innocence. For more information concerning how you can help and how you can get an incredible video about this horrific reality, visit the Invisible Children home page.
Because of this genocide of innocence, hundred and hundreds of children live every night sleeping in public places miles from their homes, because they know that if the do not-- they will disappear. They will become just another number in this genocide to which the international community has chosen to turn a blind eye. They will become, in affect, invisible-- Invisible Children.
But there are those who are trying to fight against this slaughter of Uganda's children. They fight to protect these "invisible children." Please, help them help a country full of children who know nothing by fear. Help save the innocence. For more information concerning how you can help and how you can get an incredible video about this horrific reality, visit the Invisible Children home page.
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Mangafanatic - Posts: 4918
- Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 5:00 am
- Location: In La-La land.
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Azier the Swordsman - Posts: 3109
- Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2003 10:00 am
- Location: Earth
It's the looming threat of the computerization of society and the invasion of privacy. XD The nightmare that science fiction writers have been thinking of for years.
Speaking of which, I heard news that there's already a method of implanting a chip on the triceps (or was it biceps? Can't remember.) of a person instead of always having to bring your credit card with you. Can't really remember the details, though.
Speaking of which, I heard news that there's already a method of implanting a chip on the triceps (or was it biceps? Can't remember.) of a person instead of always having to bring your credit card with you. Can't really remember the details, though.
*Insert witty saying here*
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SwordSkill - Posts: 412
- Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2004 12:07 am
- Location: Philippines
It's not computerization I worry about so much as the Nanny Statism many intellectuals dream up. Man is naturally given liberty not only so that he may do as he feels, but also so that the good of doing what he ought to do is all the more... shewt, can't think of the word, but it is something good.
Job 7:16
I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone, for my days are but a breath.
I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone, for my days are but a breath.
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Ingemar - Posts: 2244
- Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2004 12:43 pm
- Location: A Dungeon
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Kinkosami - Posts: 425
- Joined: Tue Dec 23, 2003 2:11 pm
- Location: Colorado
*runs off and moves to some wilderness off in Canada*Heart of Sword's Rhapsody
Money, get away
Get a good job with good pay and you're okay
And all and all you're just another brick in the wall
Shoutin’ in the street gonna take on the world some day
But Bismallah will not let me go
Because I'll see you on the dark side of the moon
Tommy used to work on the docks
Union's been on strike
Bright eyes burning like fire
And exposing every weakness
However carefully hidden by the kids
Who will love a little Sparrow
Who's traveled far and cries for rest
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
I've seen a million faces and I've rocked them all
And if the band youre in starts playing different tunes
We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you!
[Pink Floyd fan listening to Queen and hugging trees which is also known as taking care of God's creation with a pair of headphones on listening to Nightwish as loud as possible while writing a novel on a computer in the middle of a field filled with Wolves.]
[Bassist...finally learning Money]
Money, get away
Get a good job with good pay and you're okay
And all and all you're just another brick in the wall
Shoutin’ in the street gonna take on the world some day
But Bismallah will not let me go
Because I'll see you on the dark side of the moon
Tommy used to work on the docks
Union's been on strike
Bright eyes burning like fire
And exposing every weakness
However carefully hidden by the kids
Who will love a little Sparrow
Who's traveled far and cries for rest
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
I've seen a million faces and I've rocked them all
And if the band youre in starts playing different tunes
We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you!
[Pink Floyd fan listening to Queen and hugging trees which is also known as taking care of God's creation with a pair of headphones on listening to Nightwish as loud as possible while writing a novel on a computer in the middle of a field filled with Wolves.]
[Bassist...finally learning Money]
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Heart of Sword - Posts: 2201
- Joined: Mon Apr 26, 2004 5:01 pm
- Location: A Greener Pasture
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