Love and Hate

[Rzerox21xx]

Hi, Im new here and I must tell you that Im so far trying to develop a serious relationship with Christ, my problem however is that Im anti-social and well Im very shy around my fellow sister in christ, in matter in fact I feel like I cant' be in the same room with a certain girl I take a liking towards, I feel miserable around her because I long for her but I dont know if this feeling is wrong or not, I know it would be long if she in top of my list instead of God. Last night at the lock in, I was doing fine, I feel like God is really working in me but then she shows up and then I retreated to the bathroom with the light off to be alone, think, mediate and mostly pray why I feel t his way, Im feel like I have no chance with her as I just started going to school, I dont drive, nor am I employed. I feel miserable with her. I hate this. Look she a very wonderful girl who been growing spirituality and is liked by everyone, Im the opposite, Im the least friendliest person in that church because I have a past of hatred and anger. Im trying my best to be more loving though its hard. She is a reminder how school life was for me though, she hanged out with the popular crowd, of course because of her likeable qualities, she was pretty much friends with everyone, and tell you the truth, I hated everyone in my school. I was fill with hate in which I would think of thoughts of violence against my fellow teens. I wanted to wipe them all out of the face of the earth tell you the truth. Look she never particaped any of the bad things the crowd did which is (drunk parties, drugs, ect). Though I dont approve her hanging out with them and tell you the truth because she assocatied with what I dubbed my enemies, I told her off but things are cool now but I developed a liking towards her that put me in a state of misery. Not only that but Im reminded how people in school were. I mean I hated them, I wanted them all to suffer and die. yeah I know, it hard to believe Im a christian now. I hope no one would think Im some pycho here, I mean I did have those feelings but I would never do it. I just feel like I cant handle life and I just want to die now. I mean I do have redeemable qualites but my hatred on humanity and my longing for this girl are conflicting causing me misery and despair even when Im typing this, I get violent aggressive feelings on teenagers, druggies, and such. I mean I know Christ die for these people and I should love them but its so hard. Dont worry I would never do anything like that or sucide. I just feel miserable thats it. I go to different moods anyway. I dont know what Im talking about I feel like I typed too much. Oh man I just need some prayer I guess, I know it sound selfish to ask but thats all I guess. I mean I taken advice on this on this already and it did somewhat help me. but man I dont know I feel like I just want to breakdown, I so tense, I can relaxed, I really need love in my life but my hatred on humans(I dont hate all humans, of course but well you know of the sad state of humanity) I dont know what to do, I know I can choose to feel this way or not but why can I choose to be happy why cant handle being around this girl or my state of being. man this feeling sucks

[Saint Kevin]

I'm praying for ya bro.

[termyt]

Father,
You know I feel for Sol_Vicious's struggle. I am not the most sociable person either. I know You have greater plans for him than a life of misery and hatred.

Father, I pray You grant him peace first of all. Peace that his emotions are not evil and they are normal. They are just misdirected. Peace that he can not change those around him, but he can be changed himself.

Father I pray he accept Your guidance through Your Word and those You have placed around him. Give him, in the mean time, the wisdom to know when to stand his ground and when to flee. Show him the people around him - how they look through Your eyes.

Finally, I pray that Sol_Vicious continues to grow in You, through reading Your Word, prayer, and in learning about You.

In all these things, I pray in the name of Jesus,
Amen.

[Rogie]

Asking for prayer isn't selfish, it's what we all should do in humility for God -- to admit our weaknesses, and you have done this already. I'll pray for you and for Christ to strengthen you.

Welcome aboard, too!

[Syreth]

Hey bro, don't ever hesitate to ask for prayer. Communion with God is one of the most powerful things that can be done. I've never regretted asking anyone for prayer on a serious level.
I'll definately be praying for you. We actually have a lot in common. I know how tough it is (I'm sure we all do) when there's a person who you like and you just don't know what to do. But I guess I have a little advice, if you would be so kind as to listen: Don't let your feelings get in the way of friendship or fellowship with this girl. God wants you to be in unity with her as a sister in Christ. So I guess start with that and give your feelings to God. You know your situation much better than I do, though. God knows it better still.
I'll be praying for your situation and that God would grow you up into a strong Christian by the power of His word. Peace to you, bro. PM me if you wanna talk more.

[Rzerox21xx]

hey guys I thank you touhg, thouhg it still bother me at times but I apperciate it this, and I hope I can do the same for any of you guys that need any of course. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope I mean it, I sometimes underestiamte my feelings if Im really feeling it or not. I guess because I imagine myself being cold at times.....thank you thouhg

[cbwing0]

I will pray for you .

[true_noir_chloe]

I am definitely praying for you, Sol. I'm so thankful you felt comfortable enough to write a prayer request. It's great to know we're all praying for you.

I know God has something special for you, as with all His children. ^___^ You take care of yourself and you can pm me or IM anytime.

[Spiritsword]

I will pray.

[Destroyer2000]

I'll pray, but how old are you? If you're young (as in, anywhere from 12-17) then it's probably infatuation and not real love.

[Dark_angel]

I'll pray for you, I understand what you are going through, as i am not the most sociable person either...

[Swordguy]

1 John 4:19
We love because he first loved us.

it hard for you because you spirt is now alive and it wants to do the will of God. while flesh still does not want die so its fight inside of you.

Remember that the reason we love one anther is because God showed us his love. before you had no clue what true love was so hate was natrual to you. Now that you have exserience God's love so you want to do the same but you flesh still wants to hate.

i will be praying for you.

[Rzerox21xx]

I'll pray, but how old are you? If you're young (as in, anywhere from 12-17) then it's probably infatuation and not real love.

Im actually 20,

[martinloyola]

wow, that sounds like alot of bottled up emotion right there, (believe me i know) and thoug im glad you posted here, but it sounds like you need a serious sit down with A: God and then B: a really good friend , in other words its not so much that you need advice from a humans it that you need them to hear you out, to listen to you for a while, God will give you the real advice that you need to hear, Listen to God and tell your friends, of course i also know its not always easy to open up because you don't have that good of a friend to trust or you just feel like you cant burden someone else with your problem, ask God for someone and He'll give, he promised that persistence works