Why do some people require going to church every week?

[Yamamaya]

I think David and Xeno have properly addressed the Sabbath issue.

I believe mech nailed it as well. For quite a few churchs, pastors get a bit big in the head and consciously or unconsciously use the pulpit to enforce a form of control over the congregation. It's quite unfortunate. Some people simply are not suited to receive any sort of power. The instant they get it, they seem to lose control of themselves.

To be honest, at my church I never felt like I fit in with my peers. Mostly because I was the naive homeschooled kid who wasn't good at sports, and they were all sports crazy and cliquey. It took me a while to find my voice persay. This mostly happened thanks to debate club, and other such activities and realizing there were other nice kids outside of my social circle at church.

[TopazRaven]

If going to church is a requirement for being a Christian (which I honestly don't necessarily think it is) then I'm probably in trouble. I haven't been to a church since last year and I can't even remember what month it was the last time I went. I barely feel motivated to get up early and go on a Sunday morning let alone more then that. Not to mention I don't think the church I used to go to even has weekday services to begin with. None the less, my best friend and I did go to Sunday school as children from ages 4-13 almost every Sunday and I did enjoy it then, even though the other kids picked on us. Part of it is definitely laziness, another is social anxiety and lastly I've found that like I mentioned above that I just don't have any motivation, as sad as that is. I will look into going back eventually, as I think I should at least make an effort. Just need to push myself to actually get up in the morning and have the courage to go.

[K. Ayato]

It's not, Topaz. Unfortunately, some churches and their followers put a lot of emphasis on regular weekly attendance. Bottom line, it is beneficial to be around other Believers who take time out of the week to worship the Lord and learn more about His Word. But is it a requirement for salvation? Nope.

[TWWK]

Hmm...a lot of the posts here seem to cast a negative light on prioritizing church.

I grew up with a mom that was doing some sort of church event everyday. Not only was faith the most important thing in her life, but as a Korean, church = social time as well. My dad, on the other hand, only attended church on Sundays, and occasionally was unable to because of work (and certainly when he was deployed or later when he drove truck).

But I didn't really take after either of my parents in a dutiful way. I ended up doing church things several times a week (Sunday worship, prayer meetings, small groups, etc.) because of family. My brothers and sisters in Christ are my family and my friends, and it's very natural for me to want to spend time with them. More than that, church is all about God. What I do there is in response to His grace, and again, it's natural to attend and worship Him, pray to Him, talk about Him, etc. My hope is that frequent church attendance is more of an organic thing, happening out of spiritual growth, than out of obligation or, in worse case, because of another forcing one to attend.

[mechana2015]

Hmm...a lot of the posts here seem to cast a negative light on prioritizing church.

Hmm I don't see that too much. What I do see is people saying that prioritizing church for OTHER people, saying that other people aren't saved, good christians etcetera, unless they're in a church x amount of times per week despite rain, shine, ice, snow, hail, hellfire, illness or otherwise. If you feel you need to be in church every week, 3 times a week or whatever, thats fine but when it starts conflicting with others and becoming a point of contention or a power play to exert control or exact guilt on somebody, it ceases to become a personal thing and becomes a weapon to denigrate other christians and an external rubric to judge them by as opposed to actually knowing a person, their situation and their spiritual condition.

For example:
HTT:'You aren't as good a christian as me because you skipped church last sunday'
RJ:'I had pneumonia and could barely walk!' or 'I would lose my house if I didn't work every other Sunday!'
HTT: 'Tell that to Jesus.'

hope is that frequent church attendance is more of an organic thing, happening out of spiritual growth, than out of obligation or, in worse case, because of another forcing one to attend.

This is exactly how it should be in theory. Unfortunately as we've seen in this thread, people have been forced, and are forced to attend, or told that their attendance is a measure of their spirituality and that hurts their spiritual growth more often than not, rather than helping. Many people look at church as a reform school, completely missing the point that its a place of growth and if someone isn't growing there could be a whole variety of factors in play including possibly the content and character of that church, not just a person being 'stubborn'.

Another thing is that being in a big building full of people with the same label as you isn't for everyone. People with anxiety disorders, agoraphobia, claustrophobia, some forms of autism spectrum disorders and PTSD in some forms will not get anything out of a church service in a large church, simply due to the fact that they can't handle the situation, but there's very little understanding of that... or even attempts at understanding of that within many churches.

[Nate]

at least one of those days can be used to take an hour and a half to two hours to worship the God who created you and loves you.

The problem with this statement is that it assumes that you are only able to worship God if you are in church.

Personally, I do not believe that. Church is nice, but it is in no way inseparable from worship.

Hmm...a lot of the posts here seem to cast a negative light on prioritizing church.

I hope mine didn't, though I guess it may have come off that way. The point I was making is that currently, I am in a position where I can't really turn down a job just because it interferes with church. If there are people who are well-off enough that they have the luxury to say "I can't work Sunday ever, and if you want me to then I'm not taking this job," then hey, that's pretty awesome. Unfortunately for me, I do not have that luxury. I have to take whatever job I can get. And when that job requires me to work 12 hours every other Sunday, during all the hours that services could possibly be held, that pretty much renders me incapable of attending church.

Not that I have any interest in attending the churches here anyway, but my point still stands.

[Roy Mustang]

Years ago, I would go to Friday mass at the Catholic that I went. I did this to stay away from Sunday mass since it would be very crowded and at the time, when I was battling with health issues and really couldn't be around a lot of people, I just went on that day. Where I'm at now and the church that I go to, there has been plans that have came up Sunday that we couldn't go to church or when we were sick with a cold.

[Zeldafan2]

My family and I go to church every Sunday we can (although if someone's sick, they won't go.) And, I especially like going to the church I attend, so I guess I'm very lucky in that regard.

Honestly, I'm very supportive of going to church as it can help individuals faith in God grow, and help find other followers to make good friends with, but I definitley don't think its a requirement for salvation.

[Twister980]

In our family it's just been something we've done since I was born. We've attended church every week unless we were all sick. It's both the Worship of God, considering it's his day of rest, and a day of Fellowship and rest.

[Cap'n Nick]

I hope mine didn't, though I guess it may have come off that way. The point I was making is that currently, I am in a position where I can't really turn down a job just because it interferes with church. If there are people who are well-off enough that they have the luxury to say "I can't work Sunday ever, and if you want me to then I'm not taking this job," then hey, that's pretty awesome. Unfortunately for me, I do not have that luxury. I have to take whatever job I can get. And when that job requires me to work 12 hours every other Sunday, during all the hours that services could possibly be held, that pretty much renders me incapable of attending church.

Back in 2008 I applied for a cashier job at Aldi's. The application went out of its way to explain that you couldn't take Sunday off for church and that you shouldn't even put anything on the application that could indicate your religious affiliation. At that time I had the luxury of leaving that form on the table and walking out to find another job, but there were a lot of people in there that day. I'm sure not all of them could have done the same.

-----

Skipping out on church membership can be a bit tougher for us sacramental folks. In many ways it can be easier to worship God outside of church than in, by serving your neighbor or studying his word, but doing the Lord's Supper or baptism by yourself is a lot harder. If it's not actually impossible, it's really, really awkward.

Incidentally, this paradigm also does something to defuse the "everyone in my church sucks but me" problem. Which I have experienced very acutely, mind you. There is a reason I found my wife on the internet and it's not my face. Since these things are blessings of God and not the sinful priests and congregations that administer them, the personality and dynamics of the group lose their primary importance.

[Sheenar]

I did not grow up in church, but became a Christian when I was 13.

Through junior high, high school, and college, I attended church a couple of times a week (Sunday morning, Tuesday night college group --sometimes Wed. night meetings).

I go to church and Sunday school most Sunday mornings, but sometimes I miss because of being sick/crashing/mito craziness. I used to beat myself up mentally for missing church --because it is so important to me to meet with other believers (especially as I'm becoming more isolated due to illness). But a good friend pointed out to me that God understands that I have a disease that is unpredictable and sometimes I miss church. It doesn't make me any less of a Christian. Bedside Baptist is not a bad place to worship on Sundays.

When I cannot go to church, I watch sermons online or read devotionals.

To me, going to church is important, but it is not necessary for salvation. If you cannot attend on Sundays/whenever, find a time each week you can meet up with other believers and talk about God, the Word, life, ministry opportunities, etc. Serve together. Encourage each other. Pray for each other. Connection with other believers and God is what is important.

[shooraijin]

I currently don't have a regular church, but I do try to attend with friends when I'm down their way, and my folks when I visit them. It works out, and gives me a variety.

[AndrewinIce]

I did not read every comment, but I skimmed it cause I'm in a hurry. But my family and I went to a baptist church for awhile and they pretty much considered you not the 'real church' unless you went there every time the doors were open. This is the general feeling of our area, most Baptist churches.
My grandmother even said, a few weeks before Christmas, 'how can you be a Christian if you don't even go to church?'

We now stay home and talk frequently about the Bible, God, etc. and it works much better for us.

[Nate]

'how can you be a Christian if you don't even go to church?'

That's kind of an odd sentiment that I can't wrap my head around. What about missionaries who go to third world countries? There aren't churches over there, so are they not Christians? That's a pretty ridiculous claim.

Or let's say I write a book and become a best-selling author, but never write another book for the rest of my life. Am I suddenly not an author just because I didn't write more books? Does the fact that I'm not actively practicing authoring a book somehow retroactively destroy my accomplishments as an author in the past? It's just nonsense.

[Yuki-Anne]

I stumbled upon a quote that I think might be relevant to this thread:

"Nobody goes to church because they're perfect. If you've got it all together, you don't need to go. You can go jogging with all the other perfect people on Sunday morning. Every time you go to church, you're confessing again to yourself, to your family, to the people you pass on the way there, to the people who will greet you there, that you don't have it all together. And that you need their support. You need their direction. You need some accountability. You need some help." -- R. Mullins

I think seeing church attendance as a sacrament or a requirement is a mistake. Maybe we should try to see it more as a support group than a boy scout meeting.

Hi, I'm Anne, and I'm a sinner.

[Xeno]

I stumbled upon a quote that I think might be relevant to this thread:

"Nobody goes to church because they're perfect. If you've got it all together, you don't need to go. You can go jogging with all the other perfect people on Sunday morning. Every time you go to church, you're confessing again to yourself, to your family, to the people you pass on the way there, to the people who will greet you there, that you don't have it all together. And that you need their support. You need their direction. You need some accountability. You need some help." -- R. Mullins

I think seeing church attendance as a sacrament or a requirement is a mistake. Maybe we should try to see it more as a support group than a boy scout meeting.

Hi, I'm Anne, and I'm a sinner.

This would be wonderful if it weren't for the fact that the leaders of some of the "support groups" start yelling at the other attendees that they're awful for not making it to all the meetings, and that they are going to be punished by the guy who is supposed to have immense love for them. Viewing church as a support group would be a wonderful thing for many christians who still believe or want to believe, but have been damaged by the emotional (or in some cases physical) abuse they've received from their pastors/preachers/church family, and I (yes, the atheist) would want them to be able to have it. But you almost have to fundamentally alter how the church (little c not big c) structure works into order to make this happen, because most churches operate in a traditional hierarchy that can lead to top-down abuse, even if it's not coming directly from the person sitting at the very top of the local assembly.

[Nate]

Combine that with the fact that the "support group" has their own opinions on what needs to be supported. To use an example that may be familiar to some in this thread, imagine that your church says that watching anime is wrong, and if you try and argue that no, anime isn't wrong, they say you're making excuses for your sin and you need to repent and you're a horrible person for trying to excuse your sin, or that you're just blinded by temptation and you need to come around to their way of thinking because otherwise you're damned for eternity. You probably wouldn't want to go to that "support group" anymore, because at that point they're not a support group, they're a bunch of opinionated jerks trying to control your life.

[AndrewinIce]

'how can you be a Christian if you don't even go to church?'

That's kind of an odd sentiment that I can't wrap my head around. What about missionaries who go to third world countries? There aren't churches over there, so are they not Christians? That's a pretty ridiculous claim.

Or let's say I write a book and become a best-selling author, but never write another book for the rest of my life. Am I suddenly not an author just because I didn't write more books? Does the fact that I'm not actively practicing authoring a book somehow retroactively destroy my accomplishments as an author in the past? It's just nonsense.

lol, my family and I agree with you.

[Zeldafan2]

Honestly, since my first post didn't exactly address the OP, I'll make another one.

I have been forced to go to church since I was little. Back then, however, I secretly didn't like going to church and found it boring because I didn't understand anything the preacher would be talking about. However, as I got older and learned more to appreciate the beauty of Christianity and God, I started to be more interested in going to church.

However, I've known many cases where some don't grow out of the stage I was in, and continue to find church boring and redundant. Ultimately, however, I feel it wouldn't be disadvantageous for a family to go to church every week if they wanted to (or had the ability to).

But regardless, some people are required to go to church every week because whoever is telling them to do so is hoping they'll come to learn more about, and to love Christianity. Now, of course, you don't NEED to go to church in order to love Christianity, but not only do they feel it helps them get to know other believers, and learn more about how to spread the word, but they also feel its a way of honoring the Sabbath day by going to church to worship God.

Now of course, if someone was going to church grudgingly just because it was ritualistic, that probably wouldn't be honoring the Sabbath day in the first place, but that's just my take.

[TheMewster]

My parents never made me go to church; I'm the one who decided to start going on my own. I go to Sunday mornings (11 AM service, do you really think I'm getting up for the 8:30 one?) and Wednesday nights, unless I have homework, I'm sick, or I'm out of town. The Bible says not to forsake meeting with the brethren, but a simple Bible study with others regularly can remedy that, IMHO. I believe that if you're sick and contagious, you should be forced NOT to go to church (at my church people are so huggy that a disease could probably spread through the whole congregation in a matter of minutes). And I prefer Wednesday night youth group to Sunday services, as it is more edifying to me, so I would rather work on Sundays than Wednesday nights. The Bible says to respect your conscience, so I'd put what day you go to church (or just doing a Bible study) up to your convictions.

[Vilo159]

But regardless, some people are required to go to church every week because whoever is telling them to do so is hoping they'll come to learn more about, and to love Christianity. Now, of course, you don't NEED to go to church in order to love Christianity, but not only do they feel it helps them get to know other believers, and learn more about how to spread the word, but they also feel its a way of honoring the Sabbath day by going to church to worship God.

Exquisitely said! Especially that last part, that's a pretty crucial point. Lots of people's reasons for attending a church is because they feel like its the best way to honor the Sabbath. If your religion doesn't put much emphasis on sabbath day observance then its not gonna mean as much to you, but if your church emphasizes it then its gonna be more important to you to go.

In regards to Xeno's and Nate's statements, fortunately not every "support group" is full of power-abusive leaders and opinionated jerks. There are ones out there who actually function successfully as support groups. They may not like the same things you like, but they'll support you in doing them.

[Nate]

fortunately not every "support group" is full of power-abusive leaders and opinionated jerks. There are ones out there who actually function successfully as support groups. They may not like the same things you like, but they'll support you in doing them.

I wish that was true where I lived.

I'm in the South.

Being opinionated and bigoted is almost a requirement to live down here. Which means no churches that fit me.

[Vilo159]

fortunately not every "support group" is full of power-abusive leaders and opinionated jerks. There are ones out there who actually function successfully as support groups. They may not like the same things you like, but they'll support you in doing them.

I wish that was true where I lived.

I'm in the South.

Being opinionated and bigoted is almost a requirement to live down here. Which means no churches that fit me.

Well, that's really unfortunate. Maybe some day you'll find one that accepts you and supports you; there's got to be one somewhere down there. I would say to just keep looking, but that probably wouldn't help because you've likely been looking for a long time without success.

[Xeno]

I'd also say that there is probably a vastly different view between what Nate would look for in a church or fellowship group and what the average church-going Christian looks for. Most churches are just incapable of supporting unconventional Christians without trying to force those people into a box of some kind so that they can be labeled and treated in a certain way. Despite the plethora of denominations (and "non-denominations") that there are, many Christians still don't hit the check boxes of any of them and have no place to go other than to their bible and living room. Would it be nice if every Christian had a church they could go to? Absolutely, I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be the all encompassing concept that was laid out in the latter books of the New Testament for the most part, but that isn't how things are ran now. Most churches feel that if you don't believe their X amount of doctrines then you aren't "in". Christianity is a religion that emerged from a highly exclusive one, started on a path to becoming the most inclusive one that ever existed (if what the holy book says is true), and then shifted and instead became just as exclusive as the religion it emerged from, but in different ways.

If there was a man named Jesus and he did preach what the bible says he preached, then every Christian, regardless of the little nitpicky differences regarding beliefs about modern day social and economic policies, or the existence of modern day nations and governments, or how salvation actually works (baptism necessary or not), or how the godhead exists (oneness, trinity, duology?) should all be completely irrelevant and believers should be allowed to worship in peace together. But that's not how things are because Christianity is more divided amonst itself at times, calling each other heretics and false prophets, than the US House of Representatives. Time spent doing that is time that could be better spent serving the people of the world to let the "light" of your god shine through you.

But back to the original point: I've got a feeling that Nate's issue is that he doesn't fit into any of the boxes being presented by Christian churches. Yet, he is still a Christian and no less of one for not attending weekly services.

[Nate]

Yeah, I'd rather not spend an hour of my day listening to some guy tell me everything I believe is wrong and how I'm a horrible person for having different political beliefs than he does. I could go to a church and just listen to the music part and then leave at the sermon but then it might just look like I have something against the pastor, or I think sermons are boring, which wouldn't be true. I just don't want to hear someone preach things I believe are wrong as right, but there's no real way to say that without more or less being told "We'd rather you not come back to our church if you have problems with our doctrine."

[Vilo159]

I'd also say that there is probably a vastly different view between what Nate would look for in a church or fellowship group and what the average church-going Christian looks for. Most churches are just incapable of supporting unconventional Christians without trying to force those people into a box of some kind so that they can be labeled and treated in a certain way. Despite the plethora of denominations (and "non-denominations") that there are, many Christians still don't hit the check boxes of any of them and have no place to go other than to their bible and living room. Would it be nice if every Christian had a church they could go to? Absolutely, I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be the all encompassing concept that was laid out in the latter books of the New Testament for the most part, but that isn't how things are ran now. Most churches feel that if you don't believe their X amount of doctrines then you aren't "in". Christianity is a religion that emerged from a highly exclusive one, started on a path to becoming the most inclusive one that ever existed (if what the holy book says is true), and then shifted and instead became just as exclusive as the religion it emerged from, but in different ways.

If there was a man named Jesus and he did preach what the bible says he preached, then every Christian, regardless of the little nitpicky differences regarding beliefs about modern day social and economic policies, or the existence of modern day nations and governments, or how salvation actually works (baptism necessary or not), or how the godhead exists (oneness, trinity, duology?) should all be completely irrelevant and believers should be allowed to worship in peace together. But that's not how things are because Christianity is more divided amonst itself at times, calling each other heretics and false prophets, than the US House of Representatives. Time spent doing that is time that could be better spent serving the people of the world to let the "light" of your god shine through you.

But back to the original point: I've got a feeling that Nate's issue is that he doesn't fit into any of the boxes being presented by Christian churches. Yet, he is still a Christian and no less of one for not attending weekly services.

You are right, I didn't really take into account Nate's particular beliefs, I was thinking more on the terms of personal tastes like anime, as he used as an example. But I still think there' s something out there for him, he can't be the only one with those beliefs. There's gotta be one that hits all the checkboxes. The question is more of whether or not its worth the effort to try and find that group, which in his case its probably not and he's gonna get more out of his religion by doing it on his own. If you did find that group though, Nate, it probably will not be what you just described, it would be much better because you all share the same beliefs, so you wouldnt be arguing on a theological base and they would probably be much more accepting of all your personal tastes.

[SilverToast]

fortunately not every "support group" is full of power-abusive leaders and opinionated jerks. There are ones out there who actually function successfully as support groups. They may not like the same things you like, but they'll support you in doing them.

I wish that was true where I lived.

I'm in the South.

Being opinionated and bigoted is almost a requirement to live down here. Which means no churches that fit me.

I'm not sure if you have tried this but you can look at online sermons. At least online you aren't restricted by geographical limations. Yeah!
You can even watch a church service somewhere in Central America.

[Nate]

You are right, I didn't really take into account Nate's particular beliefs, I was thinking more on the terms of personal tastes like anime, as he used as an example. But I still think there' s something out there for him, he can't be the only one with those beliefs. There's gotta be one that hits all the checkboxes. The question is more of whether or not its worth the effort to try and find that group, which in his case its probably not and he's gonna get more out of his religion by doing it on his own.

I used a harmless example like anime for a reason. Well, two reasons. One, because there have been people on here whose parents thought anime was "ultra-violent Japanese porn cartoons" and therefore Christians shouldn't watch it, so it was an example some people could readily identify with, going "Hey, I remember my parents/church group saying that." Two, because any other examples I wanted to use could have sparked theological debate, and that's no good.

You're probably right that I'm not the only one who holds the beliefs I do. The world is a pretty big place, and I'm sure there's plenty of other people who think the same way I do. I've even met a couple. The problem is there aren't very many people like that in this geographical location, and even if there are, there certainly aren't enough of them to have a church. In fact, the others who are similar to me are probably not attending church either, for the same reasons I am. This makes it nearly impossible to find like-minded people, unless I go around places wearing a "HI I AM A LIBERAL SOCIALIST CHRISTIAN" t-shirt. I think that would make me kind of annoying though, so I don't think I'll do that.

[Vilo159]

You are right, I didn't really take into account Nate's particular beliefs, I was thinking more on the terms of personal tastes like anime, as he used as an example. But I still think there' s something out there for him, he can't be the only one with those beliefs. There's gotta be one that hits all the checkboxes. The question is more of whether or not its worth the effort to try and find that group, which in his case its probably not and he's gonna get more out of his religion by doing it on his own.

I used a harmless example like anime for a reason. Well, two reasons. One, because there have been people on here whose parents thought anime was "ultra-violent Japanese porn cartoons" and therefore Christians shouldn't watch it, so it was an example some people could readily identify with, going "Hey, I remember my parents/church group saying that." Two, because any other examples I wanted to use could have sparked theological debate, and that's no good.

You're probably right that I'm not the only one who holds the beliefs I do. The world is a pretty big place, and I'm sure there's plenty of other people who think the same way I do. I've even met a couple. The problem is there aren't very many people like that in this geographical location, and even if there are, there certainly aren't enough of them to have a church. In fact, the others who are similar to me are probably not attending church either, for the same reasons I am. This makes it nearly impossible to find like-minded people, unless I go around places wearing a "HI I AM A LIBERAL SOCIALIST CHRISTIAN" t-shirt. I think that would make me kind of annoying though, so I don't think I'll do that.

I was only using your anime example to make a distinction between being supported spiritually and supported in hobbies, and how having the first makes it easier for the second to occur usually.

So yes, your case is a good example of a situation where not attending church is better for an individual. Much of the debate of whether or not attending a church's normal meetings is good comes down to the individual. It can be affected by that individual's church and basic beliefs, by the circumstances around them, etc., but it all comes down to what works best for that person.

[randomuser2349]

I guess it's because they want to. They may see church as a place that makes them happy and they wouldn't want to pass on the opportunity.
As for Catholics, weekly attendance is mandatory or else the person commits a mortal sin.