What does it mean if one of the main reason I want to get married is for sex?

Postby **dothackzero** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 4:48 pm

I'm just starting to wonder if that really is just the main reason I want to get married. I mean would that just mean I just think of women as sex toys or something like that? I mean I do love the thought of having constant companionship and never being alone(most of the time), having someone to talk to. But I do think there is a part of me that wants sex more than the other stuff. Basically, I'm wondering if that's wrong. Well I'm also worried that I won't be to treat a woman right, but that's a diffrent topic and I want to take care of this part 1st.

Postby **GrubbTheFragger** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 4:54 pm

It's not a good idea

Postby **Atria35** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 4:58 pm

It's a very bad thing. My parents got married mainly for that reason, and to say that their marriage is bad now is an understatement. It also means that you're young and hormonal- having the urge is perfectly normal. Wanting to devote your life to someone mainly so you can have it? Terrible, terrible idea.

Postby **Xeno** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:04 pm

It's not a good idea in the slightest. If that's what is driving the relationship then there really is no bond between the two of you and when you grown bored of each other, because you will if that's the only reason you marry a woman, what are you going to do then? You need to allow yourself some time to mature, and I'm not trying to be condescending when I say this, but you need to allow yourself to grow up a bit more and get past this before you try to start a relationship, because if you don't you're going to hurt yourself and her both very badly.

Postby **K. Ayato** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:29 pm

Bad idea, as the others have stated. Plus if you do get married just for sake of having a means to release your sexual urges, what's gonna happen when you or the lady doesn't want it anymore? One of you will look for someone else. Not a good foundation for a relationship, let alone marriage.

Postby **ShiroiHikari** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 5:34 pm

Wanting sex is normal and not necessarily wrong. But I have to echo everyone else here: Don't get married just for the sex.

Postby **aliveinHim** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:11 pm

If you marry for sex and the person who you end up marrying turns out to be an idiot, then you'll have an unhappy marriage. When you truly love someone, you will have a stronger sexual desire for them (shouldn't this be moved to TD?).

Postby **Nate** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:17 pm

Sex is an important part of marriage.

Sex is not, however, the most important part of marriage.

You have to live with the person you marry outside of the bedroom/couch/shower too you know. There's more to life than just getting some, and sexual desire is not a strong foundation for a relationship. That's like tenth grade "I want her to be my girlfriend 'cuz she's got a nice rack!" stuff. It's childish.

Postby **K. Ayato** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:24 pm

Well said, Nate!

I won't lie. One reason I wanted to marry my husband was for us to have sex without guilt. But I mean it when I say it wasn't the only reason. It takes more than just love (or sex) to make a marriage work and last as long as it can.

Postby **Nate** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:27 pm

Right. It's not a bad thing to want to have sex with the person you want to marry. That's normal, and healthy. But it IS a bad thing to marry a person just so you can get in their pants.

Postby **dothackzero** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:49 pm

Actually, I am waiting till I'm married for sex. I was just worried for a sec if it really was the main reason I wanted to get married.

Postby **K. Ayato** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:55 pm

Well, looks like you got the answer to your original question answered 10 times over. Question you should be asking in light of it is this: What are you gonna do now?

Postby **GrubbTheFragger** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:59 pm

dothackzero (post: 1512634) wrote:Actually, I am waiting till I'm married for sex. I was just worried for a sec if it really was the main reason I wanted to get married.

Shouldn't that be a question you'd ask yourself not a forum?

Postby **mysngoeshere56** » Fri Oct 28, 2011 8:43 pm

Nate (post: 1512620) wrote:Sex is an important part of marriage.

Sex is not, however, the most important part of marriage.

You have to live with the person you marry outside of the bedroom/couch/shower too you know. There's more to life than just getting some, and sexual desire is not a strong foundation for a relationship. That's like tenth grade "I want her to be my girlfriend 'cuz she's got a nice rack!" stuff. It's childish.

Very well said.

Also, I would agree with Grubb on this. Don't get me wrong - I do think it's good to turn the users on this forum, as well as other Christians you may know, when you need advice and such. However, in a situation like this, the only way to really know the answer would be to look into your heart to see your intention. We don't know you as well as you know yourself, as we can't look into your heart. Only two people can do that: you and God. So, in a case like this, I think the only way to know for sure would be to closely examine your heart's intention and pray about it.

Postby **Nate** » Sat Oct 29, 2011 12:42 pm

dothackzero wrote:Actually, I am waiting till I'm married for sex. I was just worried for a sec if it really was the main reason I wanted to get married.

And again, I repeat myself. If sex is the main reason you want to get married, then you're not mature enough to get married.

TIME FOR BAD ANALOGY.

Sex in a marriage is the icing on the cake. Icing is usually pretty important to a cake, but not the most important part of the cake. The important part of the cake is...well, the cake. If you want to get married just to have sex it's like eating just a bunch of icing. It may taste really great at first and you might enjoy it! But it's not filling. You're not going to be satisfied just eating a bunch of icing. And eventually you're gonna get sick of that icing and want something more...but you know, maybe there isn't more. You went for the mountain of frosting and found there was no cake underneath it.

You gotta get the cake first, man. THEN get the icing.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Comparing human beings to food makes for a bad analogy. But it's all I can think of.

my last fm profile! · Postby **rocklobster** » Sat Oct 29, 2011 12:49 pm

Not to mention a creepy one.

Postby **K. Ayato** » Sat Oct 29, 2011 1:30 pm

He makes a good point, though. Sex is only a part, not the whole.

Postby **ChristianKitsune** » Sat Oct 29, 2011 1:42 pm

Guys, I think this topic isn't suited for the general discussion. So I'm going to go ahead and lock this thread. I'm not saying that it's not important to ask this question, but it does seem like the OP got his questions answered.

If anyone else has any further comments feel free to pm. And in the mean time, please refrain from making threads such as these in the General thread. Areas such as The Mature Prayer Topics thread is a good place to put this.

What does it mean if one of the main reason I want to get married is for sex?

What does it mean if one of the main reason I want to get married is for sex?

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