I was just wondering if you how many of you CAAers would date someone you don't know and perhaps may not be a Christian.^^ Lemme know!^^
P.S. If I didn't list an answer that would be yours, feel free to type up your own answer in the thread. Thanks!
Would you Date someone you dont know and perhaps may not be a Christian?
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Would you Date someone you dont know and perhaps may not be a Christian?
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acgifford - Posts: 576
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I probably wouldn't go on a serious date someone I didn't know at least a little, whether through conversations or some other casual social interaction. I'm not much for the concept of blind dates.
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mechana2015 - Posts: 5025
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I...I'm split. XD
For my OWN spiritual growth I know that if I was dating someone who didn't believe in Christ, (mostly was just completely against it) I'd be weighed down and probably end up in a bad situation spiritually. But that's me. I kind of need other believers who I'm close to, to to grow. and I've found that even having athiest friends, or people who just really don't understand Christ at all, can drag me down if I let them. (I still love those athiest friends BTW XD)
On the OTHER hand...IF my father had never dated my mom, I'm not sure he'd be a Christian so...hm.
For myself, I'd like to date a Christian guy who isn't so tightly bound and jumpy though.
I would want him to know how to have fun, maybe watch a few movies without fast-forwarding and stuff. XD (I have friends that do this, through the less-than clean parts) and It makes me feel like a little kid...
For my OWN spiritual growth I know that if I was dating someone who didn't believe in Christ, (mostly was just completely against it) I'd be weighed down and probably end up in a bad situation spiritually. But that's me. I kind of need other believers who I'm close to, to to grow. and I've found that even having athiest friends, or people who just really don't understand Christ at all, can drag me down if I let them. (I still love those athiest friends BTW XD)
On the OTHER hand...IF my father had never dated my mom, I'm not sure he'd be a Christian so...hm.
For myself, I'd like to date a Christian guy who isn't so tightly bound and jumpy though.
I would want him to know how to have fun, maybe watch a few movies without fast-forwarding and stuff. XD (I have friends that do this, through the less-than clean parts) and It makes me feel like a little kid...
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ChristianKitsune - Posts: 5420
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I'm not sure I understand. Why would someone date someone they don't know? My understanding is that for two people to date they need to at least know each other a little bit first.
As far as the Christian thing goes, I'd say it'd be important they be one, but not that they necessarily be a member of a specific denomination.
As far as the Christian thing goes, I'd say it'd be important they be one, but not that they necessarily be a member of a specific denomination.
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Xeno - Posts: 1895
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I would normally vote for "I don't date", but that's mostly because I don't really feel an interest or see a need for me to go out dating right now. I've actually thought about taking on a vow of celibacy, but right now I'm not sure if God's calling me there. But, since I feel that won't really add to the discussion, I voted, "No, I wouldn't take the chance."
I've been through a lot, so I try to be pretty careful about the people I let into my life. Not that I'm unwilling to chat and be friendly with anybody who wants to talk to me, but I am trying to be careful with who I become exceptionally close to. If I wind up dating somebody who isn't a Christian, it can be hard to witness to her if she isn't willing to listen to what I have to say about my beliefs. And, if she's the type who isn't going to listen to and respect what I believe in, that'd only make things worse... Then, there'd the the break-up, which would make it even harder to witness. I'd say I could be friends with somebody who isn't a Christian, but I wouldn't date somebody who isn't.
And then there's also the possibility of somebody who claims Christianity but doesn't practice it, but I guess that's another topic.
I've been through a lot, so I try to be pretty careful about the people I let into my life. Not that I'm unwilling to chat and be friendly with anybody who wants to talk to me, but I am trying to be careful with who I become exceptionally close to. If I wind up dating somebody who isn't a Christian, it can be hard to witness to her if she isn't willing to listen to what I have to say about my beliefs. And, if she's the type who isn't going to listen to and respect what I believe in, that'd only make things worse... Then, there'd the the break-up, which would make it even harder to witness. I'd say I could be friends with somebody who isn't a Christian, but I wouldn't date somebody who isn't.
And then there's also the possibility of somebody who claims Christianity but doesn't practice it, but I guess that's another topic.
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mysngoeshere56 - Posts: 1245
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No, I wouldn't. The dating standards I have created for myself tell me that I can only date followers of Christ that I have been friends with. These are probably two of the most basic standards, really.
[font="Tahoma"][SIZE="2"]"It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things."
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Cognitive Gear - Posts: 2381
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No to both, mostly because the idea of blind dates is a little foolish, I think. But also because I hold the same view as Cog in the dating standards respect.
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goldenspines - Posts: 4869
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I'd ask someone I didn't know too well on a date. Granted it wouldn't be like a super-exclusive kind of thing in the sense that they would be casual outings and stuff. Get to know the person, ya know? "hangin' out". 
That being said, I actually don't mind dating a Christian. But there are also non-Christians I wouldn't date either. And I'd rather not date most Christians.
Non-Christians are usually more interesting to me in general. =) That and I prefer someone who holds a strong sense of love and compassion compared to someone who believes in some abstract concept such as "being saved". (If, hypothetically, they must be mutually exclusive). I mean, Joyce Meyer is apparently saved but I'd never date her even if she were younger and prettier.
That being said, I actually don't mind dating a Christian. But there are also non-Christians I wouldn't date either. And I'd rather not date most Christians.
Non-Christians are usually more interesting to me in general. =) That and I prefer someone who holds a strong sense of love and compassion compared to someone who believes in some abstract concept such as "being saved". (If, hypothetically, they must be mutually exclusive). I mean, Joyce Meyer is apparently saved but I'd never date her even if she were younger and prettier.
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Mr. SmartyPants - Posts: 12541
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I agree with Ryan, all Christians are not good people (well okay, I know that NO ONE is good because of sin and all that but you understand what I'm saying). To me, religion isn't going to be one of the things I consider very much if I'm going to date someone. I'm much more interested in their personality. Heck, I'd even consider political views more important than religion as far as potential dating material goes.
Ezekiel 23:20
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Nate - Posts: 10725
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If I were looking for a serious relationship, I'd want it to be with a brother in Christ. I do have a good friend who's a guy (but we're clearly not in any relationship whatsoever) who's not a Christian. I do want to reach out to him. Missionary dating is typically not the way to go. It's better for someone to be saved during a friendship instead of a relationship when it comes to dating non-Christians. Because you never know, what if someone makes a profession of faith just so they can date you.
"And you He made alive, who were dead in trespasses and sins, in which you once walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience, among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.
But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:1-7
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But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus." Ephesians 2:1-7
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aliveinHim - Posts: 615
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Mr. SmartyPants (post: 1495476) wrote:.
Non-Christians are usually more interesting to me in general. =)
Isn't that a form of sterotyping and prejudice in itself?
Mr. SmartyPants (post: 1495476) wrote:.
That and I prefer someone who holds a strong sense of love and compassion compared to someone who believes in some abstract concept such as "being saved". (If, hypothetically, they must be mutually exclusive). .
Well, Christians are supposed to be like this, but many don't exactly live up to it or focus more on the metaphysical rather than the practical applications.
Generally speaking, if you have strong beliefs and the person you are interested in doesn't share those beliefs or has beliefs entirely the opposite of yours, it's going to cause some conflict in a romantic relationship.
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Yamamaya - Posts: 1609
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I wouldn't date somebody if he randomly walked up to me and asked me out on the street. I want to know a person to some degree before I date him. We don't have to be best friends first, but I want some idea of his beliefs, so I don't end up hearing something like, "Hey we've been dating for a month now. Have I ever mentioned that I think polygamy is awesome?"
As for whether he'd have to be a Christian or not, I don't know. I would certainly not date someone who thinks Christians are evil/stupid. But I don't know anybody personally who isn't Christian, so I really can't tell what other non-Christian attitudes would have bad effects on me in any kind of relationship.
Ideally, if I dated a guy, he'd believe all the stuff I do and attend the church I do and we'd be in complete agreement about everything and that would be one less thing to argue about. But I don't think that's realistic for me to expect.
There are also hundreds of divisions of Christianity, and even if I said he had to be Christian I doubt I'd date all kinds (which I don't mean hatefully, but theological values vary so much among Christians that you can disagree about practically anything and be in opposing political parties, which I'd think would be hard on a relationship).
So would I date someone I don't know at all? No. Would I date someone who isn't Christian? I guess I'd have to know more about his beliefs and attitudes before deciding. And like Nate, I wouldn't date someone I didn't know even if the person was Christian.
That said, I've never dated/courted/entered-a-romantic-relationship before, so my thoughts are probably uninformed. But there they are anyway.
As for whether he'd have to be a Christian or not, I don't know. I would certainly not date someone who thinks Christians are evil/stupid. But I don't know anybody personally who isn't Christian, so I really can't tell what other non-Christian attitudes would have bad effects on me in any kind of relationship.
Ideally, if I dated a guy, he'd believe all the stuff I do and attend the church I do and we'd be in complete agreement about everything and that would be one less thing to argue about. But I don't think that's realistic for me to expect.
There are also hundreds of divisions of Christianity, and even if I said he had to be Christian I doubt I'd date all kinds (which I don't mean hatefully, but theological values vary so much among Christians that you can disagree about practically anything and be in opposing political parties, which I'd think would be hard on a relationship).
So would I date someone I don't know at all? No. Would I date someone who isn't Christian? I guess I'd have to know more about his beliefs and attitudes before deciding. And like Nate, I wouldn't date someone I didn't know even if the person was Christian.
That said, I've never dated/courted/entered-a-romantic-relationship before, so my thoughts are probably uninformed. But there they are anyway.
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FllMtl Novelist - Posts: 1722
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I think it's generally a better idea to date someone you actually know and are friends with rather than dating a stranger, save for in the context of just hanging out like Ryan mentioned.
I'm usually able to avoid political convos, so her politics wouldn't bother me too much, unless they were the complete opposite of my own in every way and if she was completely intolerant of my views.
I'm usually able to avoid political convos, so her politics wouldn't bother me too much, unless they were the complete opposite of my own in every way and if she was completely intolerant of my views.
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Yamamaya - Posts: 1609
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I wouldn't date someone I didn't know in least a little first. I'm very paranoid and I definitly wouldn't trust some random dude. As for wither he'd have to a Christian or not, I don't know. I literally do not know any Christians offline. I'm surrounded by non-religious folk. I'm a lonely little person and I kind of feel if anyone is crazy enough to want to date me and I feel the same way about them then I should give them a shot. I'd never force my religion on him, but maybe I could show him Christs love and lead him to God just by being me if he wasn't a Christian already. The truth is I'm probably going to grow old alone with only cats for company.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
NIV, Romans 8:38-39.
NIV, Romans 8:38-39.
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TopazRaven - Posts: 2186
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I'm thinking the OP meant this as "Would you date a non-Christian." Not "Would you date someone you don't know?"
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ChristianKitsune - Posts: 5420
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Well, I don't date. I've never dated. I considered the possibility of dating after high school, believing I would at that point have myself pulled together enough to handle a relationship. It's not that that hasn't happened yet, but that God asked me to be celibate - and even if it's just for the time being, I'm trusting that He knows what He's doing - 'Father knows best' if you will. I place my line of thought together with 1 Corinthians 7:26-28, 34-35 and believe I can greater serve the Lord through being single. [SIZE="1"]And prayfully, maybe someday help change "singles ministry" somewhere to something not so geared towards dating, but actually getting out into the community and helping those in need?[/SIZE] 
However, I can tell you I didn't always feel this way. I wanted to date, I wanted to marry. I still wouldn't mind it - that's just not a top priority in my life anymore. Looking back, I know I would not have dated anyone I did not know (and if dating were ever a possibility again, I still would not date someone I didn't know.) I might go out for coffee to get to know a guy better, a "casual date" or whatever, but I wouldn't include that as being official 'dating'. As far as a guy being a Christian? I've seen relationships between Christians and non-Christians work out (such as that between my mom and stepdad.) and through them, I know that it's possible. But then again, I don't agree with 'missionary dating'... Back on track, I don't think it would be an overly big deal for me so long as he respects my religion, but I would prefer it if the guy I was dating was a Christian.
However, I can tell you I didn't always feel this way. I wanted to date, I wanted to marry. I still wouldn't mind it - that's just not a top priority in my life anymore. Looking back, I know I would not have dated anyone I did not know (and if dating were ever a possibility again, I still would not date someone I didn't know.) I might go out for coffee to get to know a guy better, a "casual date" or whatever, but I wouldn't include that as being official 'dating'. As far as a guy being a Christian? I've seen relationships between Christians and non-Christians work out (such as that between my mom and stepdad.) and through them, I know that it's possible. But then again, I don't agree with 'missionary dating'... Back on track, I don't think it would be an overly big deal for me so long as he respects my religion, but I would prefer it if the guy I was dating was a Christian.
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meet her needs, to write love on her arms." ~ Jamie Tworkowski
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Okami - Posts: 1771
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Yamamaya (post: 1495483) wrote:Isn't that a form of sterotyping and prejudice in itself?
Nah. It's just my experience itself.
I'll put it this way. I'll like you more if you love the band mewithoutYou than if you're a Christian.
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Mr. SmartyPants - Posts: 12541
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there was no "i wouldn't date someone i didn't know" button so i just put down "i don't date" honestly weather the person is christian or not i want to know them a bit before i date them. and i mean more than a casual conversation or two...
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armeck - Posts: 1020
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Guys, try to not let this thread turn into theological discussion. The old question "should Christians marry non-Christians" has already been discussed to death. To be honest, I'm not sure where this thread can go besides there, but I'm leaving it open just in case.
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Midori - Posts: 1805
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Nope. XD I have pretty high standards, and at the top of those standards is a requirement that the guy I'm dating/interested in dating is a follower of Christ, and also that I am friends with that person before we start dating. Dating someone I'm not friends with already is like putting the cart before the horse for me. XD I just can't imagine myself being romantically interested in someone that I haven't already established a friendship with beforehand.
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Radical Dreamer - Posts: 7950
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Much to my parents unhappiness, I don't date - nor do I have interest in doing so. I'd rather party with my friends till the end of time single then go locking lips with a girl and getting stuck with that long-term deal (marriage). Of course, given my life history, I'm also essentially asexual and have the sex drive of a golf-cart, so that might have something to do with it. Hooray for this being a non-issue for me.
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Dante - Posts: 1323
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If the statement was to mean dating someone you don't know that much about their background or someone from a country that practices a religion other than Christianity, I don't think I am going to judge them about it.
I have work with someone from India and they were nice person.
I have work with someone from India and they were nice person.
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ashfire - Posts: 1132
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Avari Craven - Posts: 10
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Avari Craven (post: 1495565) wrote:why would no one date a christian...
something seems fishy... (dont hate on the lame pun)
I don't think anyone said that...though I think Mr. Smartypants mentioned he would rather date someone who wasn't christian, because he finds non-christians more interesting.
I don't think I would officially "date" someone I didn't know. I might hang out with them, but not date. Also, I have a great aversion to guys who ask girls out without getting to know them. It seriously turns me off XD
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Lynna - Posts: 1374
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Avari Craven wrote:why would no one date a christian...
I never said I wouldn't date a Christian, I merely said that being a Christian is not near the top of "Things I would like in a woman I date." Personality and politics are to me far more important than religion is. I'd rather date a wonderful non-Christian girl who saw roughly eye-to-eye with me on political views than a Christian girl who didn't.
Ezekiel 23:20
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Nate - Posts: 10725
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Nate wrote:I never said I wouldn't date a Christian, I merely said that being a Christian is not near the top of "Things I would like in a woman I date." Personality and politics are to me far more important than religion is. I'd rather date a wonderful non-Christian girl who saw roughly eye-to-eye with me on political views than a Christian girl who didn't.
What even makes you think that that one question was directed at you specifically?
Well, I'd give my own opinion, but someone or other will probably challenge it as wrong and foolish. That's the way these things tend to go, unfortunately.
If this post seems too utterly absurd or ridiculous to be taken seriously, don't.
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Htom Sirveaux - Posts: 2429
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Um... I scarcely ever talk to people I don't know... and, frankly speaking, if this person is a girl, that makes it worse. With that in mind, why would I date someone I'm not comfortable around? Comfort, for me, comes with knowledge of who they are, and knowledge comes with continued exposure to them. I have to know them. Simply put, if I don't know a girl long enough to be comfortable speaking with them... shoot, if I don't know a girl long enough to be comfortable occupying the same space with them... again, why would I date them?!
Now... with that out of the way, we come to the tougher question. Would I date a girl if she were not a Christian? Honestly... this is putting me in a position where I'd probably end up being single for the rest of my life, but... I probably shouldn't date a girl if I weren't a Christian. The whole... "unequally yoked" thing and all...
Now, would I want to if I found them to be genuinely interesting and if I were actually comfortable with them and if they were really loving, truly compassionate and saw me in ways that most single Christian girls often don't? Yes. I would want to.
Does this mean that I won't consider a Christian girl? Absolutely not. In fact, I'd love to consider them. Unfortunately, a lot of single Christian girls I know well enough simply are not interested... or interesting...?
...I can totally explain that, by the way.
Now... with that out of the way, we come to the tougher question. Would I date a girl if she were not a Christian? Honestly... this is putting me in a position where I'd probably end up being single for the rest of my life, but... I probably shouldn't date a girl if I weren't a Christian. The whole... "unequally yoked" thing and all...
Now, would I want to if I found them to be genuinely interesting and if I were actually comfortable with them and if they were really loving, truly compassionate and saw me in ways that most single Christian girls often don't? Yes. I would want to.
Does this mean that I won't consider a Christian girl? Absolutely not. In fact, I'd love to consider them. Unfortunately, a lot of single Christian girls I know well enough simply are not interested... or interesting...?
...I can totally explain that, by the way.
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Nightshade X - Posts: 681
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