[Mature] Views On Sexuality

[Dante]

I'm sorry, what? So...are you implying that all human beings only mimic each other's behaviors and don't have an independent thought in their heads? That's....that's, uh, wow.

You simply do everything that you believe you must to avoid negative consequences, which is to have fear as the acting motivation for your actions. Whether you call it being a good citizen or submitting to authority in the end does not matter, you are told a hypothetical fear (like being audited for not paying taxes) and you respond, not according to how you feel "you" as a person would act, but like everyone else, as their doing so avoids the negative hypothetical consequence - therefore it is a valid response. If everyone else didn't do it and presented you with a hypothetical negative consequence for doing so, you would no longer do it. Whether you choose a red or blue shirt on the day of the deed does not prove the individuality of your humanity. Am I wrong.

However, this is off topic, so if you wish to continue, perhaps a PM discussion?

[Nate]

Am I wrong.

Yeah.

[ShiroiHikari]

Can we go back to talking about sex in this thread now?

[Ante Bellum]

No...yeah.

[TopazRaven]

Can we go back to talking about sex in this thread now?

I'm sorry, but that really made me laugh. xD

Meanwhile, it seems in a way as if everyone has a different veiw/opinnion on the matter. I'd like to thank everyone who has taken part in this thread thus far. I've enjoyed reading all of your post.

[Atria35]

Can we go back to talking about sex in this thread now?

I never thought I'd read that on this board.

In any case, I think that sex itself is a lot less "dangerous" than we are led to believe- I mean, we live in the age of condoms, the Pill, and various medicines that can help cure various infections. There may be deadly ones out there, but we've always had deadly STDs (or STI's as they're now called). For instance, Syphillus. Curable today, but deadly 100 years ago.

I've seen both sides of the coin- I have a friend who did end up giving her virignity away at 12-13. Does she sort of regret it? Yes. But she also enjoys sex a lot. Not for me to judge her. She's been with many men, has never been pregnant, and never had an issue with disease. She takes care of herself sexually. And I learn a lot about sex, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. After all, one day I do want to get married and have kids!

But sex is also something that I personally could never casually do. Probably less for religious than personal reasons- I mean, the act iself requires a good deal of confidence in yourself, that you can expose yourself in such a way to a person, and trust that your partner won't hurt you or laugh about how you look naked. And I have a lot of hangups about how I look.

I can't say I don't want to have sex- I do. But I also know that I don't think I could do it unless I was in a committed relationship with a man I loved and trusted.

[Ante Bellum]

I can't even give a view or opinion on sex because I'm just weird. :<

[TopazRaven]

In any case, I think that sex itself is a lot less "dangerous" than we are led to believe- I mean, we live in the age of condoms, the Pill, and various medicines that can help cure various infections. There may be deadly ones out there, but we've always had deadly STDs (or STI's as they're now called). For instance, Syphillus. Curable today, but deadly 100 years ago.

The problem with this is a lot of people still don't use any form of protection. Either out of lack of knowledge or inresponseability.

[Atria35]

I can't even give a view or opinion on sex because I'm just weird. :<

We're all weird here!
I feel wierd for having given my opinion on it. AND managing to put it as simply as I did. I have a lot of confusing feelings/opinions/views on sex.

[TopazRaven]

I can't even give a view or opinion on sex because I'm just weird. :<

Very weird indeed sometimes. xD

[Ante Bellum]

No, no, no, I mean, I really can't.

[Atria35]

The problem with this is a lot of people still don't use any form of protection. Either out of lack of knowledge or inresponseability.

Less that you'd think. For all the numbers that they throw at you in Sex Ed, those are very low compared to the number that DO use responsibly. Those numbers are never given to you with any sense of proportion.

[TopazRaven]

But sex is also something that I personally could never casually do. Probably less for religious than personal reasons- I mean, the act iself requires a good deal of confidence in yourself, that you can expose yourself in such a way to a person, and trust that your partner won't hurt you or laugh about how you look naked. And I have a lot of hangups about how I look

I can totally agree with you on this. I can't even wear a bathing suit or shorts. I pretty much wear jeans all year long. I can't stand dresses or skirts either, not because they're sleazy, but just because I've never been girly. xD

[TopazRaven]

Less that you'd think. For all the numbers that they throw at you in Sex Ed, those are very low compared to the number that DO use responsibly. Those numbers are never given to you with any sense of proportion.

It could be true. Maybe I'm speaking to much out of what I've seen around me personally. I only have one friend who is sexually responsible with her body.

[Atria35]

I can totally agree with you on this. I can't even wear a bathing suit or shorts. I pretty much wear jeans all year long. I can't stand dresses or skirts either, not because they're sleazy, but just because I've never been girly. xD

XD I totally get you there! I'm exactly the same way. Too bad, since I finally found a really cute bathing suit that I would totally wear.... to a private pool ^.^

As far as the numbers, I've gone out of my way to educate myself because I'm away at college. As my mom said as she talked to me before I left- "You never know what could happen." I wanted to know what my risks were, where they were, and what I could do to try and avoid the dangers if I ended up with a guy. Personal experience is always gonna give you a certain perspective, but the numbers bear out that the vast majority of people who are sexually active are also responsible about their sexual health.

And again, there's very little reason not to be- we all know the risks.

[TopazRaven]

XD I totally get you there! I'm exactly the same way. Too bad, since I finally found a really cute bathing suit that I would totally wear.... to a private pool ^.^

Most of the bathing suits these days seem way to revealing. I'd be so embarrassed to wear something like that. Then again, I'd still be embarrased to wear a one piece that covers most everything to.

[Nate]

The problem with this is a lot of people still don't use any form of protection. Either out of lack of knowledge or inresponseability.

There's three reasons for this. One, is lack of knowledge, because of the absolutely terrible and ridiculous "abstinence only" sex ed that some schools teach. Though I'd like to think/hope that some teachers SAY they're teaching that but then teach about safe sex on the down-low. Still, it's sad that there are schools that would not teach about it.

Second, is because of things they hear from friends and others. Stuff like "Sex feels SO much better if you don't use a condom" for example. If they're only interested in sex for pleasure, rather than other reasons, they're going to forgo using a condom because well, they want as much pleasure as they can get.

Finally, it's difficult for teenagers to acquire condoms sometimes. There's a HUGE negative stigma against schools that would give out free condoms to students, so most of them don't do it, and condoms aren't exactly something most guys are willing to go to a store and plunk down on the counter and buy, especially if they're younger, don't have a car/job, etc.

[TopazRaven]

In the end, lord forgive me if I really am wrong, I do think premarital sex is more acceptable within a committed relationship with someone you love. As I said, I'm personally going to wait for marriage, but many won't make that choice.

Answer me this now, how do you all feel when while watching a TV show or anime or whilst reading a book, how do you feel personally when the characters engage in random sex or when a couple partakes in premarital sex? Do you get upset, stop following this series perhaps? Honestly, it doesn't bother me. Why? Well for one thing you already know my views and for another it's for the most part purely fictional. Sex is everywhere, it's the way of today's world. Yet, some shows also give off the idea sex really doesn't have any consequences which it sometimes does. I'd really like to see a show that did explore all the possible consequences of irresponsible sex. If toady's youth are going to have sex then they need to be properly educated. Sometimes sex ed at school isn't enough. In all honestly I don't really think anyone under 18 should be having sex though. But, that's just my opinion.

[Nate]

In all honestly I don't really think anyone under 18 should be having sex though.

Okay, but...

I do think premarital sex is more acceptable within a committed relationship with someone you love.

It's legal to marry at 16 or 17 in some states. So if you think no one under 18 should be having sex, do you think two 17 year olds who get married should wait a whole year before having sex? Because...that'd be pretty weird.

Answer me this now, how do you all feel when while watching a TV show or anime or whilst reading a book, how do you feel personally when the characters engage in random sex or when a couple partakes in premarital sex?

Depends. How hot is the chick?

Yet, some shows also give off the idea sex really doesn't have any consequences which it sometimes does.

If you watch Ninja Scroll, you might get the idea that having sex cures you of deadly poisons.

Sometimes sex ed at school isn't enough. But, that's just my opinion.

As sad as it is, sometimes, sex ed at school is all some kids get.

[Yamamaya]

*Ignores Pascal*

Bad metaphor Nate. Locks have no choice of what keys enter them. Women on the other hand do. They can choose to be sexually active the same as men can choose to be sexually active.

You do bring up a good point about condoms though. How many teen guys are really going to have access to condoms? Unless their parents are completely cool with their kid having sex, they're not going to buy it for him.

[TopazRaven]

It's legal to marry at 16 or 17 in some states. So if you think no one under 18 should be having sex, do you think two 17 year olds who get married should wait a whole year before having sex? Because...that'd be pretty weird.

Really? I thought the legal marriage age everywhere was 18? Oh well. Arg, I don't know honestly. I really don't think anyone is mentally ready for sex until the age of 18. I'm 21 and I'm still not ready. Then again, I may be working off personal feeling agian.

[Ante Bellum]

We never got sex ed at school. All I can remember is once, they gathered everyone into the library and showed this cheesy live action/cartoon mix film on how babies are made. Thing is, they never went into detail. Or even told us how they got the baby out. For actual sex ed? Nope. Maybe we did some stuff on STDs in health class...in tenth grade.

Also, I think the locks and keys metaphor came from some joke. I don't really think it's meant to be serious.

[Yamamaya]

Really? I thought the legal marriage age everywhere was 18? Oh well. Arg, I don't know honestly. I really don't think anyone is mentally ready for sex until the age of 18. I'm 21 and I'm still not ready. Then again, I may be working off personal feeling agian.

You would be correct. I know very few people under 18 who are mature enough for a relationship, let alone sex.

[ShiroiHikari]

You do bring up a good point about condoms though. How many teen guys are really going to have access to condoms? Unless their parents are completely cool with their kid having sex, they're not going to buy it for him.

I know, this bothers me a lot actually. It's like, sure, teach your kids that they should wait to have sex. That's all well and good. But also have some condoms around that you can give to the kid if he/she does choose to become sexually active, instead of acting all surprised when your kid gets knocked up/knocks up someone else. :|

[Atria35]

Most of the bathing suits these days seem way to revealing. I'd be so embarrassed to wear something like that. Then again, I'd still be embarrased to wear a one piece that covers most everything to.

Um, did I say bikini? o.O I said bathing suit. As in, a bathing suit. Specifcally, one-piece. Which I would wear to a private pool because I would feel uncomfortable wearing any bathing suit out in public.

As for why there are any people who don't use protection, I think Nate has covered it. I also believe that a lack of decent sex ed has something to do with it.

But teenagers CAN buy their own protection- they'd probably just be uncomfortable doing it. There's no age limit/restriction on condoms.

[TopazRaven]

Um, did I say bikini? o.O I said bathing suit. As in, a bathing suit. Specifcally, one-piece. Which I would wear to a private pool because I would feel uncomfortable wearing any bathing suit out in public.

Relax. I know you didn't mean a bikini. I was just talking about in general. I've seen some pretty um questionable one pieces before by the way. Lol. It was kind of disturbing.

[Atria35]

Relax. I know you didn't mean a bikini. I was just talking about in general. I've seen some pretty um questionable one pieces before by the way. Lol. It was kind of disturbing.

lolz. Naw. Simple one-piece.

But like I was saying, there's no age limit or restrictions on the age that you can buy condoms. When I turned thirteen, my aunt sent me to the store with some cash to buy some bananas and a pack of condoms. With my mom's permission, I learned what every girl should know about the basics of birth control. And it was both humiliating and enlightening.

[Doubleshadow]

I'll leave a longer comment when I have time to read all these posts, but skimming leads me to believe I can add this:
Sex drives kick in before emotional maturity and the grasping of long term consequences (the brain is still rewiring). Earlier, and some still remaining cultures handled this by early marriage with large, extended family units based around child rearing. Now, life is expensive, education lasts a long time, and the immediate female parent is expected to raise the child with minimal help from anyone, including family. A pastor once commented that if we valued purity over money, people would get married a lot sooner. Current societal constructions are such that marrying young is seen as foolish on a number of levels, but also society has constructed itself so that, it pretty much is. At the moment, more or less people are expected to have a sex drive they don't act on for about twenty years (12-32 years old or so). With such a disconnect between drive and when it can be biblically acted on, and puritanical/victorian viewpoints versus more realistic views, a lot of people just give up and treat sex like any other bodily function. The whole thing is not good. This what real perversity is, taking something as beautiful as sex and treating it with all the consideration of a fart in an elevator.

Edit: Depending on US state, depending on the age of those participating, one can legally have sex as young as thirteen. You can also be married younger than 16 in many states with parental or judicial consent.

[Cognitive Gear]

I didn't have sex ed either. I went to a private Christian school, and then was home-schooled throughout High School. Neither of my parents ever brought up sex.

Though, in Jr High, at the private school, we did have a day in which they separated the boys and girls so that they could "talk about sex". Unfortunately, it turned out to be many speakers repeating the same things we had heard all of our lives:

1) Sex outside of marriage is bad.
2) Sex feels so great.
3) But seriously, don't do it outside of marriage.
4) All of you boys are evil little perverts.
5) Did we say that it's not something you should do outside of marriage?
6) If you do end up having it outside of marriage, it's always the boy's fault.
7) Seriously, you guys are little perverts and you should feel bad.

There was no talk about the real dangers of sex outside of "She is going to get pregnant." They even went as far as to tell us, "Condoms don't work."

Honestly, it's a wonder that I ever figured out how sex works without developing some real issues.

[Nate]

there's no age limit or restrictions on the age that you can buy condoms.

I wasn't trying to imply there was. XD Sorry if it came off that way. What I meant was, okay, 14 year old dude. Wants condoms. He doesn't have a job, and definitely no car. So if he goes to the drugstore with his mom and comes up and puts a pack of condoms in her cart...well...most 14 year olds aren't going to do that. Unless they have some EXTREMELY permissive parents. XP

When I turned thirteen, my aunt sent me to the store with some cash to buy some bananas and a pack of condoms.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-