commandments question

[Pigeon4x]

I posted here because I didn't know where this should go. I hope it goes here.

Me and some friends of mine were debating about sexual relations before marriage and I brought up adultery and said it was wrong. Well, one of the guys I was debating with looked up the meaning and it's pretty much just cheating on your spouse. I still think intercourse before marriage is wrong but what should I post?

[cbwing0]

You are correct in your interpretation: "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28).

The fact that you are not yet married to your future spouse does not mean that you can't "cheat" on them with deeds/thoughts. The things that you do before marriage will carry over into marriage, affecting the relationship.

[Mangafanatic]

In addition to what cbwing0 said. Let us suppose that your friends perfectly STRICT interpretation of that scripture is true. We're still not off the hook. Outside of the commandments, we are constantly being warned against sexual sins-- one of which is premarital sex. Here's just one reference. Ephesians 5;3 "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. "

[CDLviking]

If you want to go by technical definitions then sex before marriage is fornication, which is also condemned, though personally I would side with cbwing0 on this one.

[Pigeon4x]

thanks guys

[neoassassin2078]

I always thought of it as its okay to have sex before marriage if you get married later, but its still pretty stupid to do it because your not completely sure if you'll get married at that time. That means being engaged is the same as being married in this respect. But engagments can be called off, therfore, its not a good idea to do it before marriage, but it won't hurt anyone if you do it right. Also, I think divorce is the same as adultery and is also a grievous sin.

By the way, this is off topic but I'm probally going to be posting here a lot for the next few days since one of the mods at my usual forum can't tell satire from flamebait so I'll need to hang out here until he gets a clue and unbans me.

[Vyse]

I always thought of it as its okay to have sex before marriage if you get married later

I honestly can't stand that or any other excuse a guy uses to get a gal to bed with him before marriage -_-

There's just so immorality today its sad.

[kaji]

I always thought of it as its okay to have sex before marriage if you get married later, but its still pretty stupid to do it because your not completely sure if you'll get married at that time.

By this statement, are you refering to marriage to the one and only person that you had pre marital sex with?

I do not agree with this, sex is a gift that God has given a man and a woman who have been married. If one is so confident that they will marry another, that they are willing to have sex with them, then why not just get married?

That means being engaged is the same as being married in this respect. But engagments can be called off, therfore, its not a good idea to do it before marriage, but it won't hurt anyone if you do it right.

Wrong. Sorry, but being engaged is not the same as being married. Like you said, if you can break off an engagement, then how could it be the same commitment as marriage? So, yes you would be hurting your self and the one you think you love.

Also, I think divorce is the same as adultery and is also a grievous sin.

Well, yes. Divorce is frowned apon by most Christian denominations. Though there are some situations where it may be acceptible. If you are in an abusive marriage, with no chance of repentance, and your family is suffering (physicaly or emotionaly) you would be doing a disservice to your family if you did not take some sort of action.

All in all, its nice to meet you, and I hope you enjoy your stay here.

[JediSonic]

>>If one is so confident that they will marry another, that they are willing to have sex with them, then why not just get married?

GOOD POINT

Actually I read up on this topic last night in a book christian I got, that gives 15 reasons for NOT having premartial sex. I dont remember them and I'm short on time but basically... isnt it enough that God told us not to?

[Pigeon4x]

I dont remember them and I'm short on time but basically... isnt it enough that God told us not to?

Yes, but how do you convince an athiest that its wrong?

[Straylight]

Yes, but how do you convince an athiest that its wrong?

Well first of all, sin is sin because it harms us. Hence, any action that is sin should have a logical explanation for why it is in that category, as God has obviously defined it that way for a reason.

Here are a few reasons why I think sex before marriage is a bad idea:

Sex is the most intimate part of a relationship. If you share this intimacy before marriage, it causes a great deal of pain should the relationship break off.

There is another point however. I know a few people who like to sleep around. They argue that they do not suffer from any emotional distress due to their activities, and I think I believe them. The intimacy of the experience has been greatly nullified, and this will have a big effect should they ever decide to marry.

The essence of the argument is that reserving sex for marriage makes the married relationship far more special, helping to improve the stability of it, and in turn, the stability of your family (if you have children). In this day and age, the value of a stable family cannot be underestimated.

From a Christian perspective, if you look at the setup you can see God's design all over it. Love forms the center of the construct, which is of course the most valuable thing in any family.

[kaji]

Yes, but how do you convince an athiest that its wrong?

Well, honestly, if they dont beleive the foundations of Christianity, they may have no reason to believe premarital sex is wrong. Especialy since all the media and world around them tells them its ok.

Non-Christians I know tend to think of Christianity as just a bunch of rules. If they dont undertand the Christ portion of it, they would probably have no reason to believe the rest.