Possible Girlfriend

Postby **YesIExist** » Tue Apr 20, 2004 9:40 pm

Ask God if this is what He wants for you.

Postby **ThaKladd** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 6:00 am

There can be problems but not necessary. A friend of mine, who was 24 had a girfriend who was 16 years old, and now they are married(in the age of 27 and 19).

Postby **Angel37** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 6:03 am

Pray alot! I'm going through the same thing, so I'll keep you in your prayers! I hope things go well!
-Angel With New Avatar

Postby **cbwing0** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 6:20 am

I will pray for you.

If you want to know what I think, I would say to give the relationship a chance.

Postby **JediSonic** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 6:25 am

Wow, Kladd.. thats interesting! :lol:

Hmm.. you may pass this comment off as coming from a young and sexually inexperienced person but.. how is labeling yourself her boyfriend going to make her more 'there for you'?

Postby **HikariChan** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 8:17 am

I hope everything works out for yea!
best of luck!

Postby **PanZ** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 10:34 am

JediSonic wrote:Wow, Kladd.. thats interesting!

Hmm.. you may pass this comment off as coming from a young and sexually inexperienced person but.. how is labeling yourself her boyfriend going to make her more 'there for you'?

I think your right but it is just a psychological thing to most people. To me personally it means that she has the same feelings for me that I have for her.

Postby **PanZ** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 10:42 am

I appreciate everyones prayers. Thank you so very much.

Postby **Inferno** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 11:10 am

This is coming from a sexually inexperianced person too, but all i can say is ask God he'll give you better advice than any of us.

Postby **Mangafanatic** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 11:21 am

Well, just a thought from a female, Um, I think it would be a little weird to me if I were to "dating" a guy who is legally an adult while I'm still under age. If I were you and you're really serious about this girl, I would talk to her dad. You definitely want him on your side and I personally think it's a big deal considering the age of this girl.

Second, you need to think about what you're risking getting romantically envolved. If you break up with this girl, you might as well kiss your friendship good bye. I mean, yeah, a few ex-couples manage to remain friends, but for the most part-- it's over after that. Just weigh it all out and see if it's worth it for the right to call her "your girlfriend." Especially considering her age.

It's just a thought. Sorry if my pessimism's showing. :lol:

Postby **Gypsy** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 11:39 am

Mangafanatic wrote:Well, just a thought from a female, Um, I think it would be a little weird to me if I were to "dating" a guy who is legally an adult while I'm still under age. If I were you and you're really serious about this girl, I would talk to her dad. You definitely want him on your side and I personally think it's a big deal considering the age of this girl.

Second, you need to think about what you're risking getting romantically envolved. If you break up with this girl, you might as well kiss your friendship good bye. I mean, yeah, a few ex-couples manage to remain friends, but for the most part-- it's over after that. Just weigh it all out and see if it's worth it for the right to call her "your girlfriend." Especially considering her age.

I'm with Mangafanatic all the way with this one. If you really want a relationship to happen in a situation like this, parental approval is essential.

And I'd also encourage you to make sure this is the move you want to make. Is possibly damaging a good friendship worth the risk of a possible relationship in this case? While I'm hesitant to give my input, my gut instinct is to encourage you to hold off on the girlfriend thing for a while.

Postby **Gypsy** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 2:10 pm

*ahem* Carry on.

Postby **Vyse** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 2:12 pm

Gypsy wrote:*ahem* Carry on.

I was about to bring out the "You have no chance to survive" line, but that probley would've made things worse ^_^

Oh yes my advice, I agree with Gypsy and the others, if she's under age and your a legal adult, its probley not a good thing, a lot of growing up happens in those few years.

Postby **Bobtheduck** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 3:09 pm

You're 19? See, this case is what we in the biz like to call "JailBait" You can't date a minor if you're an adult. It's illegal. I mean, you could go out, but if there were any physical contact you could go to jail (at least that's how I understood it...) So, if you can go out as friends, keep it that way until she's 18. Since that's what she wants anyhow, it seems good all around for me.

It may only be California state law. Texas may be different. I still say it's not a good idea to date a minor. (even though my first real GF was a minor... Same age difference, no less... 19 and 16... I didnt' get in trouble, but I know better now)

Of course being alone is very hard, but if you have a good platonic relationship you're at least a good step ahead of me! I really didnt' mean to make that sound like what it may have. I don't mean it's some sort of game or a vertical scale like "Platonic is low on the scale, and we need to 'improve'" That's not at all what I mean, just to make sure everyone knows. I'm just saying, there's nothing wrong with a platonic relationship.

Postby **Zedian** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 3:35 pm

I say follow your heart but first and foremost follow God. God does things for us in His own ways so pray. And if you shall go into a relationship talk with her parents and such, keep in mind you don't have to go out with her to show how close you are with her. Keep in mind, plenty of friendships never survive after a relationship.

Postby **PanZ** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 4:19 pm

I have talked with her parents, well her mom anyway. Her mom is totally cool about it. I just recently visited her (she lives in Virginia) and her mom and I really got along. I haven't met her dad yet, but from what i have heard about him from her he sounds like complete fun. He is into the same stuff as me and her. On another note age really shouldn't matter all that much since the relationship is not sexual. I am waiting until marriage. If there is an age law in Texas I am not aware of it. Anyway thanks for your prayers either way.

Postby **Bobtheduck** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 4:24 pm

Well, I don't know if it's just sex. I think it's any intimate contact (like holding hands, or kissing, or snuggling) I could be wrong, though.

Postby **Mangafanatic** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 6:32 pm

Bobtheduck wrote:Well, I don't know if it's just sex. I think it's any intimate contact (like holding hands, or kissing, or snuggling) I could be wrong, though.

I think that's the way the laws work too. But just as Bob said, I'm not 100% sure of that.

Postby **shooraijin** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 6:43 pm

It would definitely be better to avoid the impression of impropriety, too.

Postby **JediSonic** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 7:11 pm

How can you get arrested for holding hands???

I hope no cops come to my church on sunday <_<

Postby **PanZ** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 7:36 pm

JediSonic wrote:How can you get arrested for holding hands???

I hope no cops come to my church on sunday <_<

I agree with you. I looked it up and there is no law in Texas that I could find that says that you can't date a minor. You just can't have sex. No problem there.

Postby **VashTheStampede** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 7:43 pm

hey, it's great that you've found someone like that. I have had a great Christian girlfriend for about a year and 4 months now. It is a great thing to have a relationship, but you have to remember to keep God as the focus, not the person. My girlfriend has supported me in my faith, and hopefully I have in hers also. It is a beautiful gift from God to put a person like this into your life, but remember that it is all for his glory. :-D

Postby **true_noir_chloe** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 7:48 pm

I'm in total agreement with Mangafanatic, Gypsy, Bob and Shoo. You're 19, she's 16, and love can wait. I mean, I just read another thread like this. My husband was nearing 30 and waiting for the right woman when I met him and I was 26. What's with all you fidgety guys today? Is God going to change tomorrow or something? I'm sorry if I sound really facetious; but, my goodness.

Advice from a mom who has a daughter, who will be 16 in only four years - whoa there fella. You can go out as friends and don't rush into the boy/girl relationship. God is good, and He'll be good to you, and bless you greatly if you do this the legal and correct way without trying to rush everything.

Postby **Kovyn Alander** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 8:36 pm

I must say I would agree with Mangafanatic, and the others who have agreed with her. I would date someone only if they were around my age. Dating anyone younger than that just seems kinda weird to me. In my opinion, when it's time, God will bless me with someone who will be my wife someday. I'd rather get to know one person and know for sure I'll marry her than get to know many people,date, and break up. That's kinda my personality there. Being friends is probably ok. In this kind of situation the "Patience is a virtue" probably works best. Being in the AF as well, should anything happen between you two, the consequences could be harsh...

Postby **TheSeaAndStars** » Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:01 pm

Well....letsee here.... 19 t0 16........ Well, anyway most ppl said what I was goin' to say. If the dad n mom r ok with it and (most importantly) you prayed about it and God said He was like cool with that, then It is okay. But if the Big G says no, u best be believin' it. Personally, I think that 19 to 16 IS a big difference. It would be ok if she was 18 and you 21. In that range ya'll be adults n stuff.

........and I like yams. I must leave now in search of yams!

Postby **JediSonic** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 6:10 am

The problem, with me at any rate, is that a lot of times I really cant tell if "the big G" is telling me "yes" or "no" :lol:

For something serious like this though... you definitely should listen up!

Postby **Ingemar** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 11:46 am

Here's my opinion (not that it matters):

1. You only need to marry if you want to pro-create
2. You don't need to procreate in the first place! Of course, some scholars interpret God's saying "Be fruitful and multiply" as an actual commandment, but then again those scholars are mainly Orthodox Jews. Besides, Paul tells us we are not justified by obeying the law, but through faith.
3. You don't need to marry someone because you love him/her. As a matter of fact, it's the other way around: because you are married, love your spouse. Remember, those commandments in the epistles were written during a time when marriages were almost always political in nature.

I don't know if this has been covered, but the media/friends usually (read: always) tell us that "if you love someone, you should express it physically (ie sex)." Let me tell you outright that that is a bunch of crap. The true measure of your love for another is your willingness to sacrifice *anything* for that person--be it your time, your salary, your comfort, all the way up to your very life. This does not mean you should sacrifice your faith (though, in your case, that doesn't seem like a problem), for Jesus said "He who loves his mother and father more than me has no place with me (or something to that effect)." And besides, if we follow the media's prescription for love, that would place us in a very odd position. We wouldn't be able to love members of our same sex because the Bible (both testaments, for those of you who think the NT makes the OT null and void) explicitly forbids unnatural relations.

I'm not dissing marriage, relationships and procreation. Good things can come out of all three, along with bad things. I just want you to know that loving someone does not entail being in a crazy, awkward "BF/GF" relationship. Or being married.

Postby **TheSeaAndStars** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 1:07 pm

Thats groovy too, dude. But I don't think they were talkin' bout marriage yet. This thread was a bout someone askin' if datin' somebody younger was groovy with God n family or not.

Postby **TheSeaAndStars** » Thu Apr 22, 2004 1:20 pm

JediSonic wrote:The problem, with me at any rate, is that a lot of times I really cant tell if "the big G" is telling me "yes" or "no" For something serious like this though... you definitely should listen up!

Thats right, bro! U best be listenin' fo the important things. Ofcourse, sometimes ya just gotta wait a while cuz The Big G does things in His own time!

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