Fighting Off Inner Demons and Depression

[Anystazya]

Okay, well, as many of you know, I'm getting baptized soon. I'm seriously excited. I know I'm at the point where it's what I need to do with God. However, a lot of stuff has been going on in my head lately, and I know that demons are trying to pour stupid thoughts into my mind, constantly and constantly. So, I've almost felt...guilty? about getting baptized when all this is going on with me. Honestly, it's gotten much better, through prayer and the grace of God, but I still think I need a little bit more of a push. Maybe I'm just being paranoid about it, because I am finding my strength in the Lord, but still, prayers would not hurt.

Another request. I just got back from a church camping trip. Lots of things can happen at camp. One thing I realized is...how much of a loner I am in my group of friends. Honestly, it was so...evident. I got a little depressed over it, but was able to speak with my Father God in quiet for a little while (until said group of friends came into the camper I was resting in to watch a movie). I mean, I know that God is always here to be my friend when all others turn away, but it's a little hard to take in. My earthly friends are great, not perfect, but nice, and we can get along fine...but there are so many differences...I feel like I'm able to get along better, or understand better, those who are older than me, sometimes. I dunno. It was something I was getting sad about. I dealt with depression before I knew God better. It wasn't fun. I know He'll help me through this, too.

It's just difficult. Prayers would be much appreciated.

Also. I need some happiness in here too. I'm excited for camp! I'm going to this great Bible camp in August. I really can't wait to go! I'd like to ask for prayers for confidence and that my friends and I will have a good time there.

Yes. This is all I can think of for now. So, thank you all very much.

[Phantom_Sorano]

Demons are going to attack you when you are trying to make a stand for God. Baptism is a way of telling the world that your life and soul is devoted to God, and the thought of that tears Satan up. He'll be attacking you. Don't feel bad or guilty about this. When the feelings come back, stand up and say out loud something around the lines of: You have no power here. In the name and blood of Jesus I rebuke you.
Sometimes throwing in insults and the fact that God is going to kick their butts at Armageddon feels good to say. If you confront the trouble head on with Jesus's help, you'll soon be out of the choppy water.
I hope you have fun at church camp. I'll be praying, little sis.

[Roz]

Hey Anystazya.

About getting baptized. Remember John the Baptist in Matthew? He was baptizing normal people just like you and me. Sinners just like you and me. People that sinned that morning and soon after getting baptized they sinned again. Don't let the devil get in your head and tell you lies. Remember, who's property are you? God has a prior claim. Talking to older people you trust is helpful too, like your Dad or just a person that you have found to be very wise. Go for it girl .

I sympathize about the friends. Good for you for talking to God about it. I'll pray for a Godly friend for you. Hang in there. One of my favorite sayings is, " This too shall pass", and it will. Ask God for a friend. He loves you and knows what you need.

*edit* Oops, here's your happy! http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/funny-pictures-kitten-has-a-happy.jpg

[Mr. Hat'n'Clogs]

I'll be praying for this, most definitely.

And about the friends thing, thats exactly how I feel most of the time. The solution, in all honesty, is to pray, and maybe talk to your friends about it. The peak of it hit me at camp, and I got the strongest resolve from it. Just pray about it, and it will be fine. God responded in mere days for me.

[Anystazya]

You guys make me feel so loved. <3

Soran: Thanks for this. I have a habit of keeping my thoughts/prayers and such in my head, rather than saying them aloud. This includes the telling off of demons. I think it'll be better for me to get used to saying it out loud...Again, thank you, big sis \^.^/

Roz: Ahhh, thanks, Roz. It's kind of like something I already knew, but hearing (or seeing) it out like that, is very good. I'll do my best to remember what you've told me here And, about the friends. I should have added, that there are times when with one or two of them I can talk about God and my experiences, but...it's sometimes hard. This one friend, we have very opposite personalities...she's also getting baptized...she's the kind of popular girl who demands you listen to her, but can also be very sympathetic and understanding, y'know? I can get annoyed with her very easily sometimes, but she's also the person I've been able to open up to a lot...it's confusing...but, yeah, thank you, for prayer for a friend. I think that would be very good for me. I also happen to have some good mentor-type people to talk to in our church. They know basically what I've been through, and know of my struggles. They've offered their homes to me if I ever need someone to talk to, even if they're much older than me. I'm blessed to have them...again, thank you.

Hat'n'Clogs: Yes, prayer can do wonders...Maybe something can happen at camp for me, too And, about talking to my friends...hm...I think they find me hard to understand sometimes...or, I have a hard time getting my point across to them...which is probably because they don't really understand what I've been through. They're just so different from me...besides, they have each other and their shared interests and similar personalities. It isn't my place to intrude on that. Maybe, when we are older, and have matured some, it would be easier...

Your prayers and replies all make me feel so glad to have friends like this on CAA. My spirits have been lifted

[CrimsonRyu17]

I find that when you're usually doing something right in God's eyes, that's when evil forces tend to come down on you and try to prevent you from doing so. If it gets too bad, call on Christ's name and command them to leave. They are nothing compared to the Lord. Also, congrats on getting baptized soon.

You'd be surprised how many "loners" there actually are, especially here at CAA. It's pretty common and while I don't know any advice on handling this, I understand what you go through and encourage you not to worry too much. Most of the time, loners tend to be more mature for their age and value their friendships more so it's not all that bad.

[rocklobster]

Just remember my favorite piece of advice: Evil is only as strong as you let it be.

[Makachop^^128]

oh yea thats hard ^^ I will be pray for u ^^

[Smile:)]

I'll be praying for you Any.

[Phantom_Sorano]

Hey there Miss Anystazya.
I was thinking about what you said about your friends and a song lyric came into mind:
"Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious ones you should hold on."

Think about this carefully before making any big decision. You know your friends and can make the choice of whether or not they are the influence you want to have in your life. God places people in our paths for a reason, but it is you ultimately who decides how much impact they will have on you.

You are a very intelligent young woman, Miss Anystazya. It is hard to see the right answer at the moment. Step back and do some thinking....you might even see an answer when you approach the problem at a different angle.

[Anystazya]

CrimsonRyu: Haha, yeah, I know about being more mature for my age. I don't hate it. It's just weird when it's only happening to you, and you don't have friends at the same age who understand where you're coming from, I guess...I do value my friendships with these people, but sometimes...sometimes, they kind of make me wonder how much they really believe and trust in the Lord...Thank you, Ryu

rock: Of course ^^ Hearing things like this from you numerous times really helps encourage me. Thanks ^^

Maka: Yeah, it is difficult...thanks so much <3

Smile: Means so much to me, Smile. You're an awesome friend

Soran: Well, Soran, you certainly struck a cord there. These friends...have hurt me in the past...and not just verbally...I came out stronger because of it. I mean, we're good friends, and it would be irrational and not right to just stop being friends with them...Firstly, because we see each other all the time (at school, youth group, church...) and secondly, because, they aren't bad people. I just happen to be an analytic type, and an observer. I get annoyed when they start gossiping about people. I am irritated when they don't listen to my opinion on something. They are very different, and less mature, than myself...I suppose. But that doesn't mean we don't get along and agree at other times. It can be a confusing situation.

However, what you said about just thinking...is something for me to do. Yes, perhaps that shall help me very much. I do a lot of thinking without really stepping back and looking at things, I think...or something like that :S

Thanks a bunch, Soran

[Phantom_Sorano]

No problem, dear. Just remember that new friends can be made and that you should not to compromise yourself, your character, or your beliefs to have certain friendships. This is a confusing and painful thing to do. I wish you all the best.

[Anystazya]

Ah, yes, of course I shall remember this. I'd be very open to new friendships! That is one bad thing about this small town There aren't a lot of new people, especially people around my age, moving here...

Thanks again, Soran

[Riggidig]

Wow.

Your post resonates to much with me. I myself have also always felt like a "loner" (look at my current post in the Prayer Room for more detail about it). A couple of years ago, like you, I was at a point to get baptized, but I didn't follow through with it. I'm not sure why I didn't, but I really wish today that I did (doesn't feel right for me to do it now for some reason). I sometimes wonder if that isn't the reason for me backsliding after experiencing a couple of weeks of shear bliss after I was saved. Oh well...

PLEASE go through with being baptized if you feel it's what God wants you to do. If you don't, you'll regret it years on, just like me.

I will be praying for you Anys. Enjoy the camp as well *hugs*

[BubblegumNinja]

Please don't let that stop you >__<! I was baptized just two months ago and I went through something very similar. I was being bombarded by all kinds of horrible, horrible thoughts that made me feel so unworthy and even question my salvation.

But I knew I had to do it. I wanted to dedicate my life to God completely, and this was my proof. You said so yourself that you know this is right, so don't let the enemy distract you. God wants you to draw closer to Him, no matter how you feel about yourself.

Have faith! I'll keep praying for you~ (: